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Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN: 0989458202
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 91
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Book Description
Note: 2nd edition. Professionally edited by David Gatewood, Post-Technological Metamagician Are you a Gnome? Do you want to be one? Do you know what one is? Do you have magical, technical, or any other talent whatsoever? (1) Do you pine after a non-holographic Omnicron, make design sketches of transmorphic actionable multidimensional exo-robotic systems, create novel subroutines for synthetic intelligences, tinker with Dwarf-proof beard mowers, imagine a grand unified theory of life, the universe, and facial hair, or take apart and modify negentropy cannons for fun and amusement? Do you like root vegetables? If you answered yes to one of these questions (2), then you may have what it takes to be a Paratechnologist, a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology! Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist. (3) With enlightening topics including Two Wrongs Often Make a Right, What Doesn't Kill You Can Also Maim, Destroy, and Disfigure, Moving Beyond Clockwork Devices, and How to Avoid Mustache Entanglement, Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology has more information than you care to know about Paratechnology. (4) If, on the absolutely slim chance you are interested in Gnomish technowizardry (5), then Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology will be your easily disposed of indispensible guide to embarking upon the often smoldering, explosive, nonsensical, and somewhat erratic path of the Paratechnologist. Notes to self (and others): 1. Real or imagined. 2. Or any other. 3. Who would? 4. Assuming you actually cared about Paratechnology in the first place. 5. Or are interested in making fun of those who are. From the AuthorThe EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist (even if we may want for them to... or not).
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN: 0989458202
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 91
Get Book
Book Description
Note: 2nd edition. Professionally edited by David Gatewood, Post-Technological Metamagician Are you a Gnome? Do you want to be one? Do you know what one is? Do you have magical, technical, or any other talent whatsoever? (1) Do you pine after a non-holographic Omnicron, make design sketches of transmorphic actionable multidimensional exo-robotic systems, create novel subroutines for synthetic intelligences, tinker with Dwarf-proof beard mowers, imagine a grand unified theory of life, the universe, and facial hair, or take apart and modify negentropy cannons for fun and amusement? Do you like root vegetables? If you answered yes to one of these questions (2), then you may have what it takes to be a Paratechnologist, a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology! Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist. (3) With enlightening topics including Two Wrongs Often Make a Right, What Doesn't Kill You Can Also Maim, Destroy, and Disfigure, Moving Beyond Clockwork Devices, and How to Avoid Mustache Entanglement, Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology has more information than you care to know about Paratechnology. (4) If, on the absolutely slim chance you are interested in Gnomish technowizardry (5), then Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology will be your easily disposed of indispensible guide to embarking upon the often smoldering, explosive, nonsensical, and somewhat erratic path of the Paratechnologist. Notes to self (and others): 1. Real or imagined. 2. Or any other. 3. Who would? 4. Assuming you actually cared about Paratechnology in the first place. 5. Or are interested in making fun of those who are. From the AuthorThe EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist (even if we may want for them to... or not).
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN: 0989458253
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 383
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Book Description
The Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere series provides a range of proven (1) advice for professions that don't exist. (2) This complete edition includes all four novellas in the Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere tetralogy. Included are: Mulogo's Treatise on Wizardry: Mulogo's Treatise provides a concise summary in plain (well, mostly plain) language for wizards who wish to have a manual for surviving in a harsh world where people (and much nastier) want to kill you and take your stuff (usually in that order). (4) Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology: Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist (5), a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology! Nemesis - A Good Guide for Bad Guys: Nemesis provides a wealth of information you do not wish to know on becoming a villain and succeeding in the kingdom of evil. (6) Confessions of an Angry Dwarf: If you have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (8), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited. Adventurer's Notes: 1. Until disproven. 2. No matter how much you may want for them to be real. (3) 3. Which should in no way limit your enjoyment of them. 4. Thankfully, the guide applies equally well when your enemies could care less about taking your stuff. 5. Who would? 6. If you have ever been frustrated by the decision-making of villains in literature or film, then this is the guide for you. (7) 7. Unless, of course, it isn't. 8. Brave soul that you are. From the AuthorThe EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist. Also, they have footnotes. Lots of footnotes. Tags/Related Terms: fantasy, humor, humour, humour, satire, comedy, magic, wizards, sff, science fiction, science fiction, sci-fi, parody, sf, comic fantasy, english, funny, funny, fantasy fiction, fantasy fiction, speculative fiction, comics, tourism, adventure, dragons, american literature, humorous, mmpb, british humor, adult, american authors, death, english literature, gods, humorous fantasy, alternate reality, ya, american fiction, comedic fantasy, fantasy series, humorous fiction, other worlds, pastiche, young adult, alternate universe, contemporary, fantastical, fantasy humor, heroes, magie, mage, parodie, parody, science fantasy, silly, supernatural, sword and sorcery, trolls, trolls, witches, alternate worlds, contemporary fiction, contemporary literature, epic, fate, high fantasy, hilarious, modern fantasy, modern fiction, monsters, mythology, other world, puns, sf/f/h, spoof, stories, 21st century literature, 21st century literature, absurdity, adventures, archetypes, barbarians, brain candy, challenges, children's literature, clever, clowns, collectible, comedic, comic fiction, commentary, companion, computers, cosmology, crazy, creative, d&d, data, debut, demons, daemon, daemons, dwarves, elves, evolution, fairy tales, farce, friendship, genre, genre fiction, gnomes, god, gold, gothic, highly recommended, humorous stories, irony, journey, language, light, mages, magicians, magick, myth, orc, orcs, paranormal, priest, print, saga, sarcasm, satirical, series fiction, ships, short stories, smart, snark, social commentary, social satire, speculative, sword, teen, undead, weird, wired, wizardry, young adult fiction, zombies, ea’ae, chronicles of the fists, Paratechnology, metaphysical, knight, clockwork, steampunk, technowozard, technowizardry, novella, paladin, light, holy, holy sword, Light, Indural, Yeren, Dracodaeran, Dracodin, K’un Lun, Priest, Priests, Priest of K’un Lun, Maeth Onai, fang shi, Bor’Banna, Darkness, Tides of Darkness, Return of the Cabal, Ascension of the Four, Ea’ae, seal, seals, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, Slate, Spreesprocket, beard, mustache, tome, treatise, Fists, Flaming Fists, Four, the Four, the Fists, faerviage, airship, gate, portal, Tellanon, Illdrassil, yuan qi, yuan-chi, yuan chi, celestial, celestial qi, chi, life, energy of life, one light, ka, dalaren ka, geek, self-help, treatise, tome, guide, superhero, super hero, tropes, rpg, roleplaying, supervillain, supervillains, villain, villains, fun, laughs, tinker, tinkering, science, clockwork, technology, technological, metaphysical, metaphysics, metaphysicist, monk, monks, arcane, divine, abyss, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, Slate, Spreesprocket, Mulogo, Saedeus, Urdaen, treasure, Cabal, Shadow's Rise, Shadow's Descent, Lords of Light, Joe Bailey, Joseph Bailey, Joseph J. Bailey, Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry, Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology, Nemesis, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN: 0989458245
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 72
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Book Description
Note: 2nd edition. Professionally edited by David "Blazing Beard" Gatewood, Thane of the Stonescribe clan Just because you're short, crotchety, seldom bathe, like to drink, and have a beard doesn't make you a Dwarf. (1) To see how much you differ from the typical (2) Dwarf, you have but to read Confessions of an Angry Dwarf. If you still think you're a Dwarf after reading this concise guide to Dwarfdom, then you will not be the only one full of surprise. Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will correct (3) any (4) misperceptions you may have about the ancient and noble traditions of Dwarfdom. If you're a bit more certain about your identity but have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (5,6), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited. With enlightening chapters such as All that Glimmers Might be Gold, Allies and Whether ta Tolerate 'Em, When NOT ta Wear Full Plate, Tha Fine Art o' Belchin', Grabbin' tha Dragon by tha Horns, When Yer Beard Catches Fire, On Learnin' ta Growl, One Good Thumpin' Deserves Another and On Never Conformin' ta Expectation, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf delivers a veritable treasure trove of almost useful information on realizing one's potential as a Dwarf. If, on the assuredly remote possibility you still maintain some interest in Dwarves, thenConfessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your irrefutably refutable guide to Dwarfdom and Dwarven endeavor. (7) Observations from a talking axe: 1. These qualities will generally draw comparisons to things other than Dwarves. 2. Or atypical in the case of Urdaen"Flamebeard" Doomhammer. 3. More likely further. 4. Or many. 5. Such as it is. 6. Brave soul that you are. 7. Now go grab your axe, don your armor, and start reading! From the Author The EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist (even if we may want for them to... or not). Tags/Related Terms: fantasy, humor, humour, humour, satire, comedy, magic, wizards, sff, science fiction, science fiction, sci-fi, parody, sf, comic fantasy, english, funny, funny, fantasy fiction, fantasy fiction, speculative fiction, comics, tourism, adventure, dragons, american literature, humorous, mmpb, british humor, adult, american authors, death, english literature, gods, humorous fantasy, alternate reality, ya, american fiction, comedic fantasy, fantasy series, humorous fiction, other worlds, pastiche, young adult, alternate universe, contemporary, fantastical, fantasy humor, heroes, magie, mage, parodie, parody, science fantasy, silly, supernatural, sword and sorcery, trolls, trolls, witches, alternate worlds, contemporary fiction, contemporary literature, epic, fate, high fantasy, hilarious, modern fantasy, modern fiction, monsters, mythology, other world, puns, sf/f/h, spoof, stories, 21st century literature, 21st century literature, absurdity, adventures, archetypes, barbarians, brain candy, challenges, children's literature, clever, clowns, collectible, comedic, comic fiction, commentary, companion, computers, cosmology, crazy, creative, d&d, data, debut, demons, daemon, daemons, dwarves, elves, evolution, fairy tales, farce, friendship, genre, genre fiction, gnomes, god, gold, gothic, highly recommended, humorous stories, irony, journey, language, light, mages, magicians, magick, myth, orc, orcs, paranormal, priest, print, saga, sarcasm, satirical, series fiction, ships, short stories, smart, snark, social commentary, social satire, speculative, sword, teen, undead, weird, wired, wizardry, young adult fiction, zombies, ea’ae, chronicles of the fists, Paratechnology, metaphysical, knight, clockwork, steampunk, technowozard, technowizardry, novella, paladin, light, holy, holy sword, Light, Indural, Yeren, Dracodaeran, Dracodin, K’un Lun, Priest, Priests, Priest of K’un Lun, Maeth Onai, fang shi, Bor’Banna, Darkness, Tides of Darkness, Return of the Cabal, Ascension of the Four, Ea’ae, seal, seals, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, Slate, Spreesprocket, beard, mustache, tome, treatise, Fists, Flaming Fists, Four, the Four, the Fists, faerviage, airship, gate, portal, Tellanon, Illdrassil, yuan qi, yuan-chi, yuan chi, celestial, celestial qi, chi, life, energy of life, one light, ka, dalaren ka, geek, self-help, treatise, tome, guide, superhero, super hero, tropes, rpg, roleplaying, supervillain, supervillains, villain, villains, fun, laughs, tinker, tinkering, science, clockwork, technology, technological, metaphysical, metaphysics, metaphysicist, monk, monks, arcane, divine, abyss, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, Slate, Spreesprocket, Mulogo, Saedeus, Urdaen, treasure, Cabal, Shadow's Rise, Shadow's Descent, Lords of Light, Joe Bailey, Joseph Bailey, Joseph J. Bailey, Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry, Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology, Nemesis, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN: 0996475680
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 252
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Book Description
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN: 0989458261
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 1164
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Book Description
Yip Chi Chuan, a young martial and spiritual ascetic, must flee as the only home he has ever known, the ancient monastery of the Priests of K'un Lun, is destroyed by a newly ascendant extradimensional evil. Cast out and alone, Yip strikes out on a quest spanning the breadth of his home world of Ea'ae and into the greater macroverse beyond in an attempt to unseat an all-consuming Darkness rooted in his once vaunted order's distant past. Will Yip, the last of his kind to walk the wide world beyond his fallen sanctuary, succeed where his mighty brethren failed in ages past? Unfortunately for Yip, the answer appears all too clear... Without the guidance and teachings of his lineage, pursued by malevolent supernatural agents of the Cabal, unable to fully defend himself in a world steeped in magic, his quest may fail before it ever begins. Unfazed by his limitations, guided by his inner vision and direct experience of the energies of life, the radiant chi suffusing and enlivening the world all around, he is determined to triumph where others have faltered. To win forward, he will need help...but first he must survive. A blend of Western fantasy and Eastern martial arts and mysticism, the Chronicles of the Fists is an epic trilogy recounting Yip's adventures against all odds. Edited by Ashley Davis, Priestess of K'un Lun Tags/Related Terms: Coming of age, young adult, ya, trade, fantasy, sff, sf, sf, asian, japan, china, science fiction, magic, martial arts, meditation, religion, war, adventure, alternate history, ancient text, chinese, doctrine, doctrine, gardens, government, hierarchy, hierarchy, high fantasy, invasion, love, martial, mmpb, modern fantasy, morality, mysticism, oriental, philosophical, political, power, religious orders, speculative, speculative fiction, strategy, temple, Shadow's Rise, Shadow's Descent, Lords of Light, Chronicles of the Fists, Joseph J. Bailey, chi, qi, magic, qigong, chi kung, chi gung, fantasy, sorcery, action, adventure, epic, book, books, epic fantasy, high fantasy, sword and sorcery, martial arts, wuxia, internal alchemy, meditation, haiku, ebook, ebooks, writing, writer, author, authors, novel, novels, trilogy, series, magical, humor, satire, nerd, nerds, rpg, rpg's, wizard, wizards, warrior, warriors, evil, geek, self-help, sorcery, mage, mages, fantasy, tropes, memes, roleplaying, sword, swords, comedy, magic, magical, jest, joke, elf, elves, elfs, elven, elfin, fey, mmo, mmorpg, d&d, dragons, dragon, Dwarf, Dwarfs, Dwarves, Dwarven, hero heroes, heros, villain, villains, fun, Gnome, Gnomes, Gnomish, guide, guides, manual, manuals, technowizard, technowizardry, Paratechnology, tinker, tinkering, steampunk, science, clockwork, technology, technological, metaphysical, metaphysics, metaphysicist, monk, monks, kung fu, wu shu, karate, poetry, knight, knights, arcane, divine, abyss, Cabal, tao, Taoism, zen, Buddhism, shaolin, asia, Asian, spell, quest, adventure, mystic, master, alchemy, neigong, nei kung, neigung, nae gong, demon, daemon, shadow, shadows, void, peace, enlighten, enlightenment, realization, kensho, satori, insight, shikanataza, koan, haiku, fiction, literature, novel, novella, paladin, light, holy, holy sword, Light, Indural, Yeren, Dracodaeran, Dracodin, K'un Lun, Priest, Priests, Priest of K'un Lun, Maeth Onai, fang shi, Bor'Banna, Darkness, Tides of Darkness, Return of the Cabal, Ascension of the Four, Ea'ae, seal, seals, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, Slate, Spreesprocket, beard, mustache, tome, treatise, Fists, Flaming Fists, Four, the Four, the Fists, faerviage, airship, gate, portal, Tellanon, Illdrassil, yuan qi, yuan-chi, yuan chi, celestial, celestial qi, life, energy of life, one light, ka, dalaren ka, Joe Bailey, Joseph Bailey, Joseph J. Bailey
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph J. Bailey
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 224
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Book Description
Chet has a problem. A few of them in fact. He’s been kicked out of his order of holy knights. He’s depressed, he’s let himself go, and he has something of an inferiority complex. Mostly because he wields holy socks to fight demons while his friends use flaming swords, shimmering spears, and holy hand grenades. Now Sigil, the order of holy knights that threw him out, wants him back because its members are dying and no one can figure out why. Can Chet pick himself up off the couch long enough to do what other demon hunters can’t? Only time, and lots of pizza, will tell. Demon Hunter is a quirky noblebright urban sword and sorcery adventure fantasy of roughly 45,000 words.
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN:
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 50
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Book Description
James Halloway and Ranjeet Srinivasa are the founders of Aethereum Enterprises, the world’s leading technology firm. Jim and Ranjeet have spent their careers designing, building, and selling novel machine cores and upgraded neural learning programming suites, creating smart software to improve or supplant human capabilities, and inventing innovative analytical solutions. But these businesses are but means to this end. What they really want is to create a computer that can produce novel insights and understanding, a machine capable of generating new thoughts. And not just any thoughts, but thoughts of value, of true substance. But what would happen if they did? Out of the Box is a short story of roughly six thousand words.
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 706
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Book Description
Heaven has fallen. The legions of Chaos have overrun the world. Uërth is in ruins. With the Heavenly Host's fall, Angel Swords rained from the heavens, littering the world in what was. Only the most honorable and purest of heart are able to take up the Angel Swords and wield them against the throngs of Chaos. These mighty Empyrean Knights are all that stands between Uërth and annihilation. Soul Stealer Saedeus is neither pure of heart nor honorable. Nor does he wish to wield an Angel Sword. He just wants to be left alone with his mushrooms. And his pet rock. But he might not have a choice. When he inadvertently takes the soul of a dying Empyrean Knight into himself, his world, and his obligations, grow forever larger. With the help of his pet rock, the spirit of a heavenly knight, and the sword of a fallen angel, he might be able to make all the difference. If he doesn't die first. Wild Mage Maeraeth is neither a hero nor a great warrior. Nor does he wish to become an Empyrean Knight. He just wants to be left alone with his studies. And not be killed by demons. But, with the destruction of the Chaos Gate, Uërth may have a chance at redemption. If the hordes of Chaos can be contained and if no more portals to the Abyss are created. Maeraeth's teacher, Master Nomba, has other plans for him. Plans that involve both containing demons and preventing their arrival. So much for his studies. And not being killed by demons. Stone Singer Born in a secret enclave safe from demonic depredations, Ilya has Chosen. She has Chosen to leave her life of security for one on Uërth, despite all its risks. Armed only with her Voice, a runic staff, and her training as a Singer, she must venture out into the desolation after the Fall. Now she just has to survive long enough to make that Choice worthwhile. And make a difference wherever she is able. In spite of finding herself in a world overrun by demons.
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN: 098539076X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 626
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Book Description
In a world where beliefs are real, actualized by will, expressed by intent, Yip Chi Chuan, a young martial and spiritual ascetic, flees as the only home he has ever known, the ancient monastery of the Priests of K’un Lun, is destroyed by a newly ascendant extradimensional evil. Cast out and alone, Yip strikes out on a quest spanning the breadth of his home world of Ea’ae and into the greater macroverse beyond in an attempt to unseat an all-consuming Darkness rooted in his once vaunted Order’s distant past. Will Yip, the last of his kind to walk the wide world beyond his fallen sanctuary, succeed where his mighty brethren failed in Ages past? Unfortunately for Yip, the answer appears all too clear.... Without the guidance and teachings of his lineage, pursued by malevolent supernatural agents of the Cabal, unable to fully defend himself in a world steeped in magic, his own quest may fail before it ever begins. Unfazed by his own limitations, guided by his inner vision and direct experience of the energies of life, the radiant chi suffusing and enlivening the world all around, he is determined to triumph where others have faltered. To win forward, he will need help... but first he must survive. A blend of Eastern mysticism and Western fantasy, Shadow’s Rise is the first book of the Chronicles of the Fists, an epic trilogy recounting Yip’s adventures against all odds.
Author: Joseph J. Bailey
Publisher: Joseph Bailey
ISBN: 0985390778
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 993
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Book Description
Their world assaulted by an extradimensional invasion of life-devouring Shadow, Yip and his companions must find a way to halt the incursion before the Cabal and their loathsome allies drain the living energies of their planet, destroying all life and potential on Ea’ae. Aided by Aroganji the Fang Shi, master of the elements of change, Wrindanneth Priest of Maeth Onai, wielder of divine and arcane magics, and Slate the Dwarven axe-wielding Bor’Banna, imbued by the powers of the All-Father’s first forge, Yip ventures to Taerris’thule, the City of the Fallen Gods, in an effort to restore the seal of Eldre’gheu, one of the fourteen seals protecting Ea’ae from extraplanar intrusion. Shadow’s Descent is the second book of the Chronicles of the Fists, an epic fantasy trilogy recounting Yip and his friends’ adventures against the forces of Darkness.
