Sex & Drugs & Sausage Rolls

Sex & Drugs & Sausage Rolls PDF Author: Graham Garrett
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780955893049
Category : Cooks
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description

Sex & Drugs & Sausage Rolls

Sex & Drugs & Sausage Rolls PDF Author: Graham Garrett
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780955893049
Category : Cooks
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Get Book Here

Book Description


Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls

Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls PDF Author: Robert Rankin
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0552147419
Category : Brentford (London, England)
Languages : en
Pages : 388

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Book Description
He becomes funnier the more you read him.' Independent It has always been John Omally's secret ambition to become a rock star. In his youth he mastered air guitar and wardrobe-mirror posing, but he lacked that certain something. Talent. But at last an opportunity has arisen for John to get into 'The Industry'. A band called Gandhi's Hairdryer are looking for a manager, so all John has to do is persuade them that he is the new Brian Epstein. It should be a piece of cake. But - and there's always a but - there is something rather odd about this band. Something other-worldly. It might be the lead singer, whose voice has the power to heal. Might she be an angel, perhaps? Or could she be the Devil in disguise? Because, after all, the Devil does have all the best tunes. And this is Brentford. In this, his final offering of the twentieth century, Robert Rankin returns to the town of his birth, the friends of his youth and one of the loves of his life: Rock Music. 'Everybody should read at least one Robert Rankin in their life.' Daily Express

The Only Boy for Me

The Only Boy for Me PDF Author: Gil McNeil
Publisher: A&C Black
ISBN: 1408825929
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 274

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Book Description
Most people would think Annie Baker had it all: an idyllic life in the country and a fabulous job as a film producer. And so would she, if it weren't for the men in her life. Her six-year-old son Charlie gets traumatised if she buys the wrong kind of sausages. Her tempestuous boss Barney is a Great Director, but keeps getting stuck with dog food commercials, and as for Lawrence, well, he just wants to get her fired. And then she meets Mack... Hilarious and poignant, The Only Boy for Me will make you laugh and cry.

Funny Bone

Funny Bone PDF Author: Olivia Kent
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1291719164
Category : Poetry
Languages : en
Pages : 34

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Book Description
A humourous look at life. This book proves that I do have a sense of English humour. I don't write all darkness.

A Diary of The Lady

A Diary of The Lady PDF Author: Rachel Johnson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141963840
Category : Literary Collections
Languages : en
Pages : 443

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Book Description
Rachel Johnson takes on the challenge of saving The Lady, Britain's oldest women's weekly, in her hilarious diary, A Diary of The Lady: My First Year and a Half as Editor. 'The whole place seemed completely bonkers: dusty, tatty, disorganized and impossibly old-fashioned, set in an age of doilies and flag-waving patriotism and jam still for tea, some sunny day.' Appointed editor of The Lady - the oldest women's weekly in the world - Rachel Johnson faced the challenge of a lifetime. For a start, how do you become an editor when you've never, well, edited? How do you turn a venerable title, full of ads for walk-in baths, during the worst recession ever? And forget doubling the circulation in a year - what on earth do you wear to work when you've spent the last fifteen years at home in sweatpants? Will Rachel save The Lady - or sink it? 'Action-packed, entertaining, marvellously indiscreet. Johnson is everything you want in a diarist and has a compulsive habit of saying the wrong thing' Sunday Times 'She's a loose cannon. All she thinks of is sex. You can't get her away from a penis' Mrs Julia Budworth, co-owner, The Lady 'A total romp, wonderfully readable, unflinchingly described' Guardian 'HYSTERICAL. For the first time, everyone is talking about The Lady for reasons other than nannies' Piers Morgan Rachel Johnson is a journalist who has written two previous novels and two volumes of diaries. The Mummy Diaries, Notting Hell, Shire Hell and A Diary of The Lady are all available now from Penguin.

The Toyminator

The Toyminator PDF Author: Robert Rankin
Publisher: Gollancz
ISBN: 0575088214
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 329

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Book Description
Somewhere over the rainbow and just off the Yellow Brick Road stands Toy City, formerly known as Toy Town. And things are not going well for the city's inhabitants. There have been outbreaks of STC - Spontaneous Toy Combustion - and there are strange signs and portents in the Heavens. Preachers of Toy City's many religions are predicting that the End Times are approaching and that a Toy City Apocalypse will soon come to pass. But can this possibly be true, or is there a simple explanation - an alien invasion, for instance. With the body count rising and the forces of law and order baffled, it is the time for a hero to step forward and attempt to save the day. Well, two heroes actually, Eddie Bear, Toy City Private Eye and his loyal sidekick, Jack: our courageous twosome are about to face their biggest challenge yet, to save not only toykind, but the world of mankind too. Which should keep them out of the pub for a while.

The Brightonomicon

The Brightonomicon PDF Author: Robert Rankin
Publisher: Gollancz
ISBN: 0575088192
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 327

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Book Description
Our teenage hero, having been thrown from Brighton Pier by the leader of The Canvey Island Mod Squad, narrowly escapes drowning thanks to the Perfect Master, Cosmic Dick and self-styled Logos of the Aeon (not to mention the reinventer of the Ocarina), Hugo Rune Himself. Our hero has lost his memory, and, in desperation, agrees to join The Lad Himself in the solving of twelve cases based upon The Brightonomicon, the new zodiac signs formed by the alignment of Brighton streets and discovered by Rune: carriageway constellations. And together they must find the Chronovision before it falls into the wrong hands and affords ultimate power to the would-be world dictator. And this being an adventure most exciting, they must find it before the sinister Count Otto Black, would-be World Dictator and all-round bad guy. Or the whole world will all go to pot.

Retromancer

Retromancer PDF Author: Robert Rankin
Publisher: Gollancz
ISBN: 0575086793
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 308

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Book Description
There is big and evil magic abroad upon the face of the Earth. History has been changed. The Germans have won WWII. America is a nuclear wasteland. And worst of all, the breakfast menu at The Wife's Legs Café in Brentford is serving Bratwurst rather than the proper big boys' British banger. Something is Not Right. And when the world's all wrong and it needs setting right, who're you gonna call? Hugo Rune, that's who. A man who offers the world his genius, and asks only, in return, that the world cover his expenses. And so, with the aid of his faithful acolyte and companion Rizla, the guru's guru, also known as the hokus bloke, the Lad Himself and the Retromancer*, sets out to rewrite history the way it should be. Together they return to war-torn London, to solve the twelve cosmic conundra based on Hugo Rune's personal tarot deck, each one leading them closer to a final terrifying confrontation. They must match their wits against beautiful spies, advanced alien technology, killer robots and death rays, do battle with an ancient god, and come face to face once more with Hugo Rune's arch-enemy, the sinister Count Otto Black, all the while finding time to drink ale, talk the toot and dine out in some of London's swankiest eateries. Without ever paying the bill.

The Da-Da-De-Da-Da Code

The Da-Da-De-Da-Da Code PDF Author: Robert Rankin
Publisher: Gollancz
ISBN: 0575087102
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 315

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Book Description
Jonny Hooker has been picked as a WINNER! and all he has to do to claim his prize is to solve the Da-da-de-da-da Code. Jonny knows that beat; it always turns up in popular music - like 'Waltzing Matilda', or the National Anthem. And it has something to do with the Devil's Chord. And with Robert Johnson (who sold his soul to the Devil), whose blues influenced a generation of musicians. And it definitely has something to do with Elvis, who is still alive and rocking (of course). And with the Secret Parliament of Five, who meet in Gunnersbury Park to dictate world affairs. And when he solves the Da-da-de-da-da Code, Jonny will also discover why all the most famous rock musicians die aged twenty-seven, the truth about raising an ancient god, and the destruction of the world. It's all right there in the music. All Jonny has to do is to crack that code. Before he dies on Monday.

The Witches of Chiswick

The Witches of Chiswick PDF Author: Robert Rankin
Publisher: Gollancz
ISBN: 0575088222
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 365

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Book Description
We have all been lied to. A great and sinister conspiracy exists to keep us from uncovering the truth about our past. Have you ever wondered how Victorians dreamed up all that fantastic futuristic fiction? Did it ever occur to you that it might just have been based upon fact? That THE WAR OF THE WORLDS was a true account of real events? That Captain Nemo' s Nautilus even now lies rusting at the bottom of the North Sea? That there really was an invisible man? And what about the other stuff? Did you know that Queen Victoria had a sexual relationship with Dr Watson? Or that the elephant man was a product of an E.T./human hybridisation programme? Or that Jack the Ripper was a terminator robot sent from the future? Read on: and learn how a cabal of Victorian Witches from the Chiswick Townswomen's Guild, working with advanced Babbage super-computers, rewrote 19th Century history, and how a 23rd Century boy called Will Starling uncovered the truth about everything.