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Author: Darrin Doyle
Publisher: LSU Press
ISBN: 9780807134344
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 228
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Book Description
Fifty-year-old science teacher Dale Portwit believes that the peak of his life has come and gone. A failed suicide, a food fetishist, so isolated that the Best Man at his wedding is a framed photograph of his former mailman, Mr. Portwit resolves to live entirely for the moment, to speak his mind at each turn no matter what the consequences. He sets his sights upon Mary Ann Tucker, Elkhart Elementary's plump, accommodating third-grade teacher. Their whirlwind courtship leads to wedding bands, a house in the suburbs, and an indulgent sex life -- so why aren't they happy? Perhaps a little revenge is just what this marriage needs. Decidedly odd, yet also oddly moving, Revenge of the Teacher's Pet is a skillful mix of comedy, poignancy, love, memory, obesity, top-ten lists, fish, and murder.
Author: Darrin Doyle
Publisher: LSU Press
ISBN: 9780807134344
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 228
Get Book Here
Book Description
Fifty-year-old science teacher Dale Portwit believes that the peak of his life has come and gone. A failed suicide, a food fetishist, so isolated that the Best Man at his wedding is a framed photograph of his former mailman, Mr. Portwit resolves to live entirely for the moment, to speak his mind at each turn no matter what the consequences. He sets his sights upon Mary Ann Tucker, Elkhart Elementary's plump, accommodating third-grade teacher. Their whirlwind courtship leads to wedding bands, a house in the suburbs, and an indulgent sex life -- so why aren't they happy? Perhaps a little revenge is just what this marriage needs. Decidedly odd, yet also oddly moving, Revenge of the Teacher's Pet is a skillful mix of comedy, poignancy, love, memory, obesity, top-ten lists, fish, and murder.
Author: Jennifer Ziegler
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 1338091255
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 217
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Book Description
The Brewster Triplets are back to school -- and up to new hijinks -- in this hilarious new story from Jennifer Ziegler! The Brewster triplets have this whole school year figured out. They'll share notes and books and help plan their big sister's wedding, and they're all going to be on color guard. Smooth sailing through the seventh grade.Only nothing goes right. They're accidentally on cheer squad, of all things. And the sisters are split into different classes--which Darby is failing because of her terrible participation grade. Meanwhile, Delaney really likes cheerleading and doesn't want just go along with what Dawn wants this time, especially on her cheering crusade. Can the triplets take turns pretending to be Darby, plan a shower for their beloved big sister, and stay out of the trouble Dawn keeps getting them into? And more importantly, can they do it without being split up for good? Three times the teacher's pets means three times the school shenanigans in this fun Brewster Triplets romp from Jennifer Ziegler.
Author: Jan Lawrence
Publisher: Turtleback Books
ISBN: 9780613120340
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :
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Book Description
Jeff and his friends are delighted when their strict teacher, Mr. Manlin, is replaced with a string of gullible substitutes. They can't believe their luck -- until Ms. Wilder shows up!
Author: Darrin Doyle
Publisher: LSU Press
ISBN: 0807134996
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 222
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Book Description
Fifty-year-old science teacher Dale Portwit believes that the peak of his life has come and gone. A failed suicide, a food fetishist, so isolated that the Best Man at his wedding is a framed photograph of his former mailman, Mr. Portwit resolves to live entirely for the moment, to speak his mind at each turn no matter what the consequences. He sets his sights upon Mary Ann Tucker, Elkhart Elementary's plump, accommodating third-grade teacher. Their whirlwind courtship leads to wedding bands, a house in the suburbs, and an indulgent sex life -- so why aren't they happy? Perhaps a little revenge is just what this marriage needs. Decidedly odd, yet also oddly moving, Revenge of the Teacher's Pet is a skillful mix of comedy, poignancy, love, memory, obesity, top-ten lists, fish, and murder.
Author: Jim Murphy
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0544868234
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 229
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Book Description
“If you ever went to Catholic school, or never went to Catholic school, you need to read this funny, smart, kid-true book. It explains everything.” —Jon Scieszka, author of Time Warp Trio and The Stinky Cheese Man Jimmy Murphy’s sixth grade teacher, Sister Angelica Rose, is out to get him. She humiliates him in class and punishes him when he hasn’t done anything wrong. She even forces him to perform onstage with second graders, wearing a giant green banana costume. A classic underachiever with a talent for trouble, Jimmy wants revenge, and with his friends he plans a prank that will embarrass Sister Angelica in front of the whole school. What could possibly go wrong? "This is a light and funny coming of age story. Even students who do not attend parochial school can identify with Jimmy and the struggles that he and his friends go through. The characters are all dynamic and the reader will want to know more about them all. This is a quick and enjoyable read that any upper elementary student will enjoy." —School Library Connection A Junior Literary Guild Selection
Author: Dav Pilkey
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 1338615181
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 214
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Book Description
George and Harold have to figure out how to fix history in the tenth book in this #1 New York Times bestselling series by Dav Pilkey, the author and illustrator of Dog Man! George and Harold have been turned into evil zombie nerds doomed to roam a devastated, postapocalyptic planet for all eternity! Unfortunately, the boys can't count on Captain Underpants for help because Tippy Tinkletrousers and his time-traveling hijinks prevented George and Harold from creating him in the first place! With Tippy having changed the course of human history forever, George and Harold will have to figure out a way to change it back!
Author: Cheryl Peck
Publisher: 5 Spot
ISBN: 0446507091
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 211
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Book Description
The author of Fat Girls and Lawn Chairsis back with a funny and poignant new collection of personal stories about growing up a misfit. A collection of stories for anyone who shuddered at the idea of senior prom, Revenge of the Paste Eaters is about the way the experiences of childhood stay with us and shape us into adults. Cheryl Peck applies her signature wit to more personal stories and reflections-about hurting people and getting hurt, about discovering who you are and who you want to be, about feeling "not good enough," and about being bigger-physically and mentally-than many of the people surrounding you. This is a wickedly funny view of what it's like to be a middle-aged woman in middle-America, and what really happened to the kids who were different.
Author: Michael Merschel
Publisher: Holiday House
ISBN: 082343818X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 333
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Book Description
Middle school meets the Dark Side in this grimly hilarious survival story of a sci-fi-obsessed eighth grader. Clark Sherman's situation is desperate. He's just crash-landed on an inhospitable planet--also known as Festus Middle School--where the natives don't take kindly to newcomers . . . particularly ones who love sci-fi and memorizing episodes of the hit TV show Star Survivors. Hostile natives include violent bullies, uncaring teachers, and the fiendishly evil Principal Denton, and Clark realizes he'll be lucky enough to survive eighth grade, let alone thrive. But then, three kindred life forms make themselves known . . . and suddenly, Clark finds he not only has the will to survive, but the strength to fight back. Sharp, painfully funny, and deeply moving, Revenge of the Star Survivors is a story for sci-fi fans-- and for anyone who's ever felt alone in this world. Michael Merschel's witty writing, by turns hilarious and heartbreaking, brings Clark's inner strength into the light. Winner of the Texas Institute of Letters Jean Flynn Award for Best Children's Book
Author: Jennifer Ziegler
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545561434
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 173
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Book Description
In this middle-grade Bridesmaids, hilarity ensues as triplets have to stop a wedding! One bride. Two boys. Three flower girls who won't forever hold their peace. What could go wrong with this wedding? Everything!The Brewster triplets--Dawn, Darby, and Delaney--would usually spend their summer eating ice cream, playing with their dog, and reading about the US Presidents. But this year they're stuck helping their big sister, Lily, plan her wedding. Lily used to date Alex, who was fun and nice and played trivia games with the triplets, and no one's quite sure why they broke up. Burton, Lily's groom-to-be, is not nice or fun, and he looks like an armadillo.The triplets can't stand to see Lily marry someone who's completely wrong for her, so it's up to them to stop the wedding before anyone says "I do!" The flower girls will stop at nothing to delay Lily's big day, but will sprinklers, a photo slideshow, a muddy dog, and some unexpected allies be enough to prevent their big sister--and the whole Brewster family--from living unhappily ever after?
Author: Allan Woodrow
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545513219
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 214
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Book Description
THE PET WAR is a hilarious story about the timeless battles of dog vs. cat, brother vs. sister, know-it-all vs. know-nothing. Eleven-year-old Otto wants a dog. His twelve-year-old perfect sister, Lexi, wants a cat. Their mother, who works very long hours as a nurse, wants neither. Pets are expensive so who's going to pay for everything? And what happens to the pet when the siblings are at their dad's for the weekend? Otto has an idea. What if he got a job and earned enough money to pay for the dog? Then Lexi has to open her big mouth. She proposes that whichever sibling can raise enough money first will decide which pet they get. Oddly enough, their mom and dad agree. With Otto and Lexi each out to defeat the other, their business plans become more elaborate and involved. As the competition gets fiercer, the stakes get higher, and the battle lines have been drawn, so let the Pet War begin. . . .
