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Author: Maxime Valette
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345520114
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 290
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Book Description
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired. Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did. Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better? Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said “That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream.”
Author: Maxime Valette
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345520114
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 290
Get Book Here
Book Description
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired. Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did. Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better? Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said “That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream.”
Author: Mimi Ray
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781496057266
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 304
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Book Description
Features FML, a steroid eye ointment used to treat inflammation of the eyelid and the eye itself, provided by New Media Systems, Inc. Discusses why the drug is prescribed, how to use the medication, side effects, and recommended dosages.
Author: Mark Manson
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 006245773X
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 197
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Book Description
#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
Author: Ingrid de la Mare - Kenny
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 172
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Book Description
She was the girl who seemed to have it all, and then she lost it all.Raised by wealthy French parents, she married her first love, fresh out of college in Miami Beach. She followed her handsome jewish husband back to his native New York, where she thrived in the fashion industry, and quickly became the "it girl" of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. She faced her share of challenges: the tragic death of her doting father, an oppressive marriage with a husband increasingly obsessed with orthodox judaism, and her first born diagnosed on the spectrum of autism.And then her world turned upside downWhen federal agents knocked on her door one tragic day, her life changed forever. Accused of internet fraud for selling jeans online, De La Mare-Kenny found herself serving a lengthy sentence in a medium - high security federal prison. She ended up doing time that didn't seemingly fit the crime. With no way out, she faced the heart wrenching separation from her three small children, the youngest, then just a baby and her oldest facing the debilitating regression of his mental disability.She tells the story of a mother's life-long fight and sacrifice for her children. The agony and the guilt of being ripped away from them, when they needed her the most. Her personal triumph both over the unjust system that imprisoned her and the many tragedies that marred her life. This is a must-read, riveting tale of the harsh life behind bars, where one woman who was unlikely to survive had to dig deep within herself, to find the strength to make her way back to her children. And, against all odds, used her adversities to succeed and propel herself from shackles, to living a charmed life in dreamy Monte-Carlo.-Rev. Tracy L. Clark, Motivational Speaker and Author of GOD WHERE ARE YOU? IT'S ME."I call Ingrid my rags to riches story and I am not just talking wealth. When I met Ingrid, she was on the verge of losing everything. From her home, to her work to her toxic relationship. Ingrid's gift has always been her children. She will protect them at all costs. She truly loves and honors them like no other. In my humble opinion, she knows very well they saved her life on many levels!What makes a soul successful in life is realizing they need to let go of the past emotionally and, embrace the lessons. INGRID DID THIS! A hard day turned into a new beginning. A struggle turned into a gift. A spark of inspiration and creation turned into a passion. She never took no for an answer.-Dara Kaplan, Partner and Co-Founder of the Manhattan and Miami based, Wunderlich Kaplan Communications. Dara has been featured on Forbes, CNN, Fox News, NYPost, Huffington Post, Daily Mail, Inc.com, Elite Daily and more."It has been truly an honor to watch Ingrid own her truth, rise from ashes, write her destiny, create a brand from the ground up and come to dominate the wellness space. As a branding expert, watching Ingrid so expertly build a tribe of women that have coalesced around and have continuously championed has been nothing short of brilliant and beautiful. She is a true trailblazer and cunning marketer in the digital brand building space. To know Ingrid is to know the personification of perseverance and walking in ones truth."*"Ingrid De La Mare-Kenny truly changed my life for the better. I was immediately intrigued by her charisma, warmth, unapologetic attitude. She has helped me and continues to be such a mentor to me. Not only is she one of my best friends, she also has a huge community full of women who TRUST her. This industry needs her- her book is an absolute gem. Ingrid's adversity has given her depth & relatability which the reader will feel throughout the book. Anyone who reads it will be immediately inspired while feeling her warmth .- Lauryn Evarts Bosstick, Author of The Skinny Confidential: A Babe's Sexy Sexy, Sassy Fitness and Lifestyle Guide and Co-Host of entrepreneurial podcast, The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER featured in SHAPE, Women's Health
Author: Zach Golden
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0762496355
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 180
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Book Description
Answering the Existential Question of What the F*@# to Do with Your Life with Spot-On Humor (and Profanity) If you've tried and failed to find your purpose in life, you're going to need expert help. From the author of What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner?, this laugh-out-loud career guide will set you straight. Take a brief career quiz to find your perfect match, and get the inside scoop on a wide variety of crappy careers, plus tips on breaking in, leaving you with no excuse not to embark on a fulfilling vocation as: Electrician Therapist T-Shirt Cannon Operator Dental Hygienist Mortician Lobbyist . . . And more. And don't worry: if that perfect career eludes or you fail at everything else, you can always be a realtor.
Author: Sarah Knight
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1784298492
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 126
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Book Description
The word-of-mouth bestseller * Published in more than 30 countries * 3 million copies sold worldwide Are you stressed out, overbooked and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? Finding it hard working from home? Then it's time to stop giving a f**k, and care less to get more. This irreverent and practical book explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt - and give your f**ks instead to people and things that make you happy. From family dramas to having a bikini body, the simple 'NotSorry Method' for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f**k and will free you to spend your time, energy and money on the things that really matter. 'The anti-guru' Observer 'Absolutely blinding. Read it. Do it.' Mail on Sunday 'Genius' Cosmopolitan 'I love Knight's book even before I start reading . . . Works a charm' Sunday Times Magazine 'Life-affirming . . . The key practice she advocates is devising for yourself a "fuck budget" . . . It's a beautiful way of streamlining your psyche' Lucy Mangan, Guardian ALSO AVAILABLE FROM SARAH KNIGHT: YOU DO YOU: how to be who you are and use what you've got to get what you want AND Get Your Sh*t Together - the New York Times bestseller helping you organise the f**ks you want and need to give
Author: John Kim
Publisher: Parallax Press
ISBN: 1941529623
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 170
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Book Description
Tackling relationships, career, and family issues, John Kim, LMFT, thinks of himself as a life-styledesigner, not a therapist. His radical new approach, that he sometimes calls “self-help in a shot glass” is easy, real, and to the point. He helps people make changes to their lives so that personal growth happens organically, just by living. Let’s face it, therapy is a luxury. Few of us have the time or money to devote to going to an office every week. With anecdotes illustrating principles in action (in relatable and sometimes irreverent fashion) and stand-alone practices and exercises, Kim gives readers the tools and directions to focus on what's right with them instead of what's wrong. When John Kim was going through the end of a relationship, he began blogging as The Angry Therapist, documenting his personal journey post-divorce. Traditional therapists avoid transparency, but Kim preferred the language of "me too" as opposed to "you should." He blogged about his own shortcomings, revelations, views on relationships, and the world. He spoke a different therapeutic language —open, raw, and at times subversive — and people responded. The Angry Therapist blog, that inspired this book, has been featured in The Atlantic Monthly and on NPR.
Author: Gabrielle Stone
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781733963701
Category : Actresses
Languages : en
Pages : 280
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Book Description
"What does a woman do when her life has fallen apart and her heart has been ripped out and stepped on twice in two months? She goes on a wild adventure, makes some bad decisions, and does a sh*t load of soul searching. But most importantly? She finds out how to love ... herself"--Back of book
Author: Tara Schuster
Publisher: Dial Press
ISBN: 0525509895
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 352
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Book Description
Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a former vice president at Comedy Central who was called “ahead of her time” by Jordan Peele “You’re going to want Tara Schuster to become your new best friend.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed “Compelling, persuasive, and useful no matter where you are in your life.”—Chelsea Handler, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Life Will Be the Death of Me By the time she was in her late twenties, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame, owing in large part to her minimally parented upbringing. She realized she’d hit rock bottom when she drunk-dialed her therapist pleading for help. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a “ninja of self-love.” Through simple, daily rituals, Tara transformed her mind, body, and relationships, and shows how to • fake gratitude until you actually feel gratitude • excavate your emotional wounds and heal them with kindness • identify your self-limiting beliefs, kick them to the curb, and start living a life you choose • silence your inner frenemy and shield yourself from self-criticism • carve out time each morning to start your day empowered, inspired, and ready to rule • create a life you truly, totally f*cking LOVE This is the book Tara wished someone had given her and it is the book many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.
Author: Maxime Valette
Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books
ISBN: 9781843178828
Category : Conduct of life
Languages : en
Pages : 192
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Book Description
The idea is simple: in a few sentences, people describe the moments that have ruined their day. These snapshot anecdotes are embarrassing, humiliating, horrific - and very, very funny. Perhaps worst of all, they're all 100 per cent real... *** Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from hitting the wall. FML *** *** Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said, 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said, 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect, said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML *** *** Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her 'Edward'. I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy of her Twilight book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML *** Packed with hilarious stories, this is the perfect gift for anyone who's ever had an FML moment...o
