More Letters from a Nut

More Letters from a Nut PDF Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0804149801
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 871

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Book Description
Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 225,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.

More Letters from a Nut

More Letters from a Nut PDF Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0804149801
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 871

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Book Description
Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 225,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.

Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut!

Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut! PDF Author: Ted Nancy
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9780312261559
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 244

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Book Description
Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest. Take, for example, this: Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Or this: Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Or even this: Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean. Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.

Letters from a Nut

Letters from a Nut PDF Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0063084821
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 280

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Book Description
Who is Ted L. Nancy? He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who wants to gamble at a casino in his lucky shrimp outfit... He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"... He's a stage actor who only travels while dressed as a stick of butter... He is, in reality, a twisted prankster—a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters to corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state. His innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands, and suggestions are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone—but often the deadpan responses he receives are even more hilarious: "Dear Mr. Nancy, It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag." —The Paper Bag Council "On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." —Greyhound Bus Lines "I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." —Vice President Al Gore Letters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a wet-yourself-in-a-public place funny aggregation of official—and officially certifiable—requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were.

Hello Junk Mail!

Hello Junk Mail! PDF Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780980059212
Category : American wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Humour.

All New Letters from a Nut

All New Letters from a Nut PDF Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 0307716287
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 258

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Book Description
The best-selling author of Letters from a Nut presents a latest collection of whimsical correspondence between the author and the unwary establishments, organizations and government offices that attempted to respond to such requests as a hotel room for 300 hamsters and a 59-foot piece of bologna.

I Want That Nut!

I Want That Nut! PDF Author: Madeline Valentine
Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 1101940395
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 22

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Book Description
A nutty and clever buddy story that celebrates cooperation, perfect for fans of Duck and Goose. Meet Mouse and Chipmunk, two young rodents who want the same thing—a big, beautiful nut! But who deserves it more? After all, Chipmunk and the Nut read together and lie in the grass and stare at the clouds. Chipmunk wants that nut! And Mouse and the Nut play tic-tac-toe and have a dance party together. Mouse also wants that nut! But then Squirrel comes along and claims the Nut for his own. What’s a rodent to do? "A winning combination of words and pictures for beginning readers and listeners."--Kirkus, Starred review "While giggling over Mouse and Chipmunk’s antics, readers will easily relate to the way they vacillate between selfishness and selflessness, and Valentine’s watercolor forest, awash in browns and greens, is an inviting place to learn about sharing and friendship. Who knew inanimate friends could be so rewarding?"--Publishers Weekly, Starred review "Streamlined text in short big-print sentences with dialogue in speech balloons is friendly to beginning readers as well as readers-aloud, and the flights of fancy into each critter’s friendship with the nut are highly giggleworthy."--The Bulletin "Expertly drawn and designed to keep the action moving as tails fly off the page. This book quietly introduces the topics of sharing and friendship by example, echoing the voice of young children."--School Library Journal

Whole-Grain Mornings

Whole-Grain Mornings PDF Author: Megan Gordon
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1607745011
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 186

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Book Description
A seasonal collection of enticing, comforting recipes for sweet and savory whole-grain breakfasts including granola, warm porridges, muffins, savory tarts and eggs—as well as seasonal toppings and accompaniments like homemade yogurt and almond milk, all from the writer of the popular blog A Sweet Spoonful. A beautiful guide to morning meals, Whole-Grain Mornings offers sixty-five sweet and savory recipes for wholesome whole-grain breakfasts. Whether you’re cooking for busy weekdays, slow Sundays, or celebratory brunches, this charming cookbook will inspire you to look beyond the average bowl of cereal toward healthy and delicious ways to incorporate whole grains like amaranth, farro, and barley into your morning meals. Seasonally organized recipes feature favorite one-bowl breakfast fare like Apricot Pistachio Granola and Triple-Coconut Quinoa Porridge alongside more unconventional options like Saucy Tomato Poached Eggs with Kale and Wheat Berries and Nutty Millet Breakfast Cookies. With information on timesaving alternatives as well as a guide to the most commonly used whole grains—and sprinkled with abundant food and lifestyle photography throughout—this cookbook guarantees the most important meal of the day will also become your favorite.

Oakley the Squirrel: The Search for Z

Oakley the Squirrel: The Search for Z PDF Author: Nancy Rose
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 1523510412
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 31

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Book Description
The letter Z is missing! Help little Oakley find it in this charming picture book with photos of real squirrels! Oakley the Squirrel: The Search for Z is an alphabet book like no other. In it, we meet Little Oakley as he embarks on a quest to find the letter Z. He searches through an alphabet of human objects—looks beneath the Bed, claws through the Closet, digs through Drawers, examines his Easel, and so on. By the time he gets to a basket of yarn, Oakley starts to yawn, and soon falls asleep. And Z—as in, Zzzzzz!—appears!

Ted L. Nancy's Afternoon Stories

Ted L. Nancy's Afternoon Stories PDF Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Booksurge Publishing
ISBN: 9781439247273
Category : Letters
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Now Ted writes stories instead of letters and reads them to people at their jobs. If they don't want to hear the story, he brings on an idiotic act like the ventriloquist with a puppet in a coma.

Stargirl

Stargirl PDF Author: Jerry Spinelli
Publisher: Laurel Leaf
ISBN: 0440416779
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 209

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Book Description
ONE OF TIME MAGAZINE’S 100 BEST YA BOOKS OF ALL TIME • NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER A modern-day classic from Newbery Medalist Jerry Spinelli, this beloved celebration of individuality is now an original movie on Disney+! And don't miss the author's highly anticipated new novel, Dead Wednesday! Stargirl. From the day she arrives at quiet Mica High in a burst of color and sound, the hallways hum with the murmur of “Stargirl, Stargirl.” She captures Leo Borlock’ s heart with just one smile. She sparks a school-spirit revolution with just one cheer. The students of Mica High are enchanted. At first. Then they turn on her. Stargirl is suddenly shunned for everything that makes her different, and Leo, panicked and desperate with love, urges her to become the very thing that can destroy her: normal. In this celebration of nonconformity, Newbery Medalist Jerry Spinelli weaves a tense, emotional tale about the perils of popularity and the thrill and inspiration of first love. Don’t miss the sequel, Love, Stargirl, as well as The Warden’s Daughter, a novel about another girl who can't help but stand out. “Spinelli is a poet of the prepubescent. . . . No writer guides his young characters, and his readers, past these pitfalls and challenges and toward their futures with more compassion.” —The New York Times