Life Will Be the Death of Me

Life Will Be the Death of Me PDF Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Dial Press
ISBN: 0525511784
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 290

Get Book Here

Book Description
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This will be one of your favorite books of all time. Through her intensely vulnerable, honest, and hilarious reflections, Chelsea shows us more than just her insides. She shows us ourselves.”—Amy Schumer Don’t miss Chelsea Handler’s new Netflix stand-up special, Revolution, now streaming! In the wake of President Donald Trump’s election, feeling that her country—her life—has become unrecognizable, Chelsea Handler has an awakening. Fed up with the privileged bubble she’s lived in, she decides it’s time to make some changes. She embarks on a year of self-sufficiency and goes into therapy, prepared to do the heavy lifting required to make sense of a childhood that ended abruptly with the death of her brother. She meets her match in an earnest, nerdy shrink who dissects her anger and gets her to confront her fear of intimacy. Out in the world, she channels her outrage into social action and finds her voice as an advocate for change. With the love and support of an eccentric cast of friends, assistants, family members (alive and dead), and a pair of emotionally withholding rescue dogs, Chelsea digs deep into the trauma that shaped her inimitable worldview and unearths some glittering truths that light up the road ahead. Thrillingly honest and insightful, Chelsea Handler’s darkly comic memoir is also a clever and sly work of inspiration that gets us to ask ourselves what really matters in our own lives.

Life Will Be the Death of Me

Life Will Be the Death of Me PDF Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Dial Press
ISBN: 0525511784
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 290

Get Book Here

Book Description
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This will be one of your favorite books of all time. Through her intensely vulnerable, honest, and hilarious reflections, Chelsea shows us more than just her insides. She shows us ourselves.”—Amy Schumer Don’t miss Chelsea Handler’s new Netflix stand-up special, Revolution, now streaming! In the wake of President Donald Trump’s election, feeling that her country—her life—has become unrecognizable, Chelsea Handler has an awakening. Fed up with the privileged bubble she’s lived in, she decides it’s time to make some changes. She embarks on a year of self-sufficiency and goes into therapy, prepared to do the heavy lifting required to make sense of a childhood that ended abruptly with the death of her brother. She meets her match in an earnest, nerdy shrink who dissects her anger and gets her to confront her fear of intimacy. Out in the world, she channels her outrage into social action and finds her voice as an advocate for change. With the love and support of an eccentric cast of friends, assistants, family members (alive and dead), and a pair of emotionally withholding rescue dogs, Chelsea digs deep into the trauma that shaped her inimitable worldview and unearths some glittering truths that light up the road ahead. Thrillingly honest and insightful, Chelsea Handler’s darkly comic memoir is also a clever and sly work of inspiration that gets us to ask ourselves what really matters in our own lives.

My Horizontal Life

My Horizontal Life PDF Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455577529
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 141

Get Book Here

Book Description
In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Uganda Be Kidding Me

Uganda Be Kidding Me PDF Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455599727
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 245

Get Book Here

Book Description
In this uproarious collection of travel essays, Chelsea Handler sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, Uganda Be Kidding Me has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang PDF Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 0446563536
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 139

Get Book Here

Book Description
In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me PDF Author: Chelsea's Family, Friends, and Other Victims
Publisher: Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book
ISBN: 1455504653
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 174

Get Book Here

Book Description
A hilarious #1 bestselling collection of essays from those nearest and dearest to comedian Chelsea Handler--the people she's lied to. "My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate." -- Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea PDF Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416596364
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 274

Get Book Here

Book Description
In a word: hilarious. . . . These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they're also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt--Laura Zigman, author of "Animal Husbandry."

Summary of Chelsea Handler's Life Will Be The Death Of Me

Summary of Chelsea Handler's Life Will Be The Death Of Me PDF Author: Everest Media,
Publisher: Everest Media LLC
ISBN: 1669351548
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 35

Get Book Here

Book Description
Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 I was feeling absolutely no motivation to continue working on my television show or to interview any more action stars. I was enjoying my life immensely, and was ashamed that I didn’t want to continue working because of it. #2 I had always wanted to get away from my parents’ life, so I could comfortably handle any discomfort related to not having money. I had become what I had always wanted to be: an elitist. #3 I had spent the past year being sucked into the vortex of news surrounding Donald Trump’s presidency and subsequent hernia. I wanted to watch the news, even though it was giving me diarrhea. I was outraged. #4 Ice is an issue that needs to be addressed by the entire world. It’s an international issue, and there aren’t enough people taking it seriously. Just like there’s an appropriate glass for every libation, there is an appropriate amount of ice as well.

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies PDF Author: Tara Schuster
Publisher: Dial Press
ISBN: 0525509895
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 352

Get Book Here

Book Description
Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a former vice president at Comedy Central who was called “ahead of her time” by Jordan Peele “You’re going to want Tara Schuster to become your new best friend.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed “Compelling, persuasive, and useful no matter where you are in your life.”—Chelsea Handler, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Life Will Be the Death of Me By the time she was in her late twenties, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame, owing in large part to her minimally parented upbringing. She realized she’d hit rock bottom when she drunk-dialed her therapist pleading for help. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a “ninja of self-love.” Through simple, daily rituals, Tara transformed her mind, body, and relationships, and shows how to • fake gratitude until you actually feel gratitude • excavate your emotional wounds and heal them with kindness • identify your self-limiting beliefs, kick them to the curb, and start living a life you choose • silence your inner frenemy and shield yourself from self-criticism • carve out time each morning to start your day empowered, inspired, and ready to rule • create a life you truly, totally f*cking LOVE This is the book Tara wished someone had given her and it is the book many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.

A Story Lately Told

A Story Lately Told PDF Author: Anjelica Huston
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451656319
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 288

Get Book Here

Book Description
Anjelica Huston’s “gorgeously written” (O, The Oprah Magazine) memoir is “an elegant, funny, and frequently haunting reminiscence of the first two decades of her life…A classic” (Vanity Fair). In her first, dazzling memoir, Anjelica Huston shares the story of her deeply unconventional early life—her enchanted childhood in Ireland, living with her glamorous and artistic mother, educated by tutors and nuns, intrepid on a horse. Huston was raised on an Irish estate to which—between movies—her father, director John Huston, brought his array of extraordinary friends, from Carson McCullers and John Steinbeck to Peter O’Toole and Marlon Brando. In London, where she lived with her mother and brother in the early sixties when her parents separated, Huston encountered the Rolling Stones and Fleetwood Mac. She understudied Marianne Faithfull in Hamlet. Seventeen, striking, precocious, but still young and vulnerable, she was devastated when her mother died in a car crash. Months later she moved to New York, fell in love with the much older, brilliant but disturbed photographer, Bob Richardson, and became a model. Living in the Chelsea Hotel, working with Richard Avedon and other photographers, she navigated a volatile relationship and the dynamic cultural epicenter of New York in the seventies. A Story Lately Told is an “evocative” (The New York Times), “magically beautiful” (The Boston Globe) memoir. Huston’s second memoir, Watch Me, will be published in November 2014.

You'll Be the Death of Me

You'll Be the Death of Me PDF Author: Karen M. McManus
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0241473675
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336

Get Book Here

Book Description
From the international bestselling author of One of Us Is Lying comes a brand-new addictive thriller. Ivy, Mateo and Cal used to be close - best friends back in middle school. Now all they have in common is a bad day. So for old time's sake they skip school together - one last time. But when the trio spot Brian 'Boney' Mahoney ditching class too, they follow him - right into a murder scene. They all have a connection to the victim. And they're ALL hiding something. When their day of freedom turns deadly, it's only a matter of time before the truth comes out . . . It's Ferris Bueller's Day Off with murder, perfect for fans of One Of Us Is Lying and A Good Girl's Guide To Murder. This explosive new thriller is impossible to put down.