Author: David Sopp
Publisher: Running Press Adult
ISBN: 9780762456581
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
With its laugh-out-loud guidance on baby care, Safe Baby Handling Tips is a must-have for anyone overwhelmed—and befuddled—when it comes to caring for their bundle of joy. Now, it's updated and refreshed to be even more helpful and relevant to the modern parent. Incompetent parents everywhere can benefit from this indispensable guide—complete with The Wheel of Responsibility to help moms and dads negotiate baby responsibilities (and shirk diaper duty!) whenever they can. Makes baby-rearing a blast!
Safe Baby Handling Tips
Author: David Sopp
Publisher: Running Press Adult
ISBN: 9780762456581
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
With its laugh-out-loud guidance on baby care, Safe Baby Handling Tips is a must-have for anyone overwhelmed—and befuddled—when it comes to caring for their bundle of joy. Now, it's updated and refreshed to be even more helpful and relevant to the modern parent. Incompetent parents everywhere can benefit from this indispensable guide—complete with The Wheel of Responsibility to help moms and dads negotiate baby responsibilities (and shirk diaper duty!) whenever they can. Makes baby-rearing a blast!
Publisher: Running Press Adult
ISBN: 9780762456581
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
With its laugh-out-loud guidance on baby care, Safe Baby Handling Tips is a must-have for anyone overwhelmed—and befuddled—when it comes to caring for their bundle of joy. Now, it's updated and refreshed to be even more helpful and relevant to the modern parent. Incompetent parents everywhere can benefit from this indispensable guide—complete with The Wheel of Responsibility to help moms and dads negotiate baby responsibilities (and shirk diaper duty!) whenever they can. Makes baby-rearing a blast!
The Safe Baby
Author: Debra Smiley Holtzman
Publisher: Sentient Publications
ISBN: 1591810299
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 271
Book Description
Protecting their children is the greatest concern for most parents and grandparents. The Safe Baby provides them comprehensive help in making their homes safer for the entire family.
Publisher: Sentient Publications
ISBN: 1591810299
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 271
Book Description
Protecting their children is the greatest concern for most parents and grandparents. The Safe Baby provides them comprehensive help in making their homes safer for the entire family.
How Not to Kill Your Baby
Author: Jacob Sager Weinstein
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449410391
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 137
Book Description
"This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449410391
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 137
Book Description
"This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.
Parenting Is Easy
Author: Sara Given
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 0761185658
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177
Book Description
Imagine a world where pregnant women are always upbeat and glowing, newborns sleep on cue, toddlers love to have their teeth brushed, and teenagers gaze adoringly at their parents. Impossible, you say? Not according to advertisers who flood the web with stock photos of perfect parents and children. They’d have you believe that parenting is a piece of cake, and every significant moment of family life takes place on a spotless white couch. So when Sara Given, a real mother of a real toddler, saw a picture of a radiant new mother in a cute little sundress breastfeeding her newborn in the middle of a golf course, she finally had enough. She launched a Tumblr, which is now visited by tens of thousands of new parents looking for a daily pick-me-up. Because what better way is there to deal with the stress and strain of being a new parent than laughter? The perfect gift of cheer and solidarity, Parenting Is Easy exploits the disconnect between these preposterous photos and what happens in real life, and makes every reader laugh out loud—and feel better, too, because we’re in on the joke.
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 0761185658
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177
Book Description
Imagine a world where pregnant women are always upbeat and glowing, newborns sleep on cue, toddlers love to have their teeth brushed, and teenagers gaze adoringly at their parents. Impossible, you say? Not according to advertisers who flood the web with stock photos of perfect parents and children. They’d have you believe that parenting is a piece of cake, and every significant moment of family life takes place on a spotless white couch. So when Sara Given, a real mother of a real toddler, saw a picture of a radiant new mother in a cute little sundress breastfeeding her newborn in the middle of a golf course, she finally had enough. She launched a Tumblr, which is now visited by tens of thousands of new parents looking for a daily pick-me-up. Because what better way is there to deal with the stress and strain of being a new parent than laughter? The perfect gift of cheer and solidarity, Parenting Is Easy exploits the disconnect between these preposterous photos and what happens in real life, and makes every reader laugh out loud—and feel better, too, because we’re in on the joke.
Baby 411
Author: Ari Brown
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781889392158
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 484
Book Description
You are having a baby! Congratulations! Now, the reality hits you -- what the heck am I doing? What if you could bottle the wisdom of all those parents who've come before you ... and combine it with the solid medical advice from an award-winning pediatrician? Baby 411 is the answer! Book jacket.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781889392158
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 484
Book Description
You are having a baby! Congratulations! Now, the reality hits you -- what the heck am I doing? What if you could bottle the wisdom of all those parents who've come before you ... and combine it with the solid medical advice from an award-winning pediatrician? Baby 411 is the answer! Book jacket.
The Happiest Baby on the Block
Author: Harvey Karp, M.D.
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0307485803
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 250
Book Description
Perfect for expecting parents who want to provide a soothing home for the newest member of their family, The Happiest Baby on the Block, the national bestseller by respected pediatrician and child development expert Dr. Harvey Karp, is a revolutionary method for calming a crying infant and promoting healthy sleep from day one. In perhaps the most important parenting book of the decade, Dr. Harvey Karp reveals an extraordinary treasure sought by parents for centuries --an automatic “off-switch” for their baby’s crying. No wonder pediatricians across the country are praising him and thousands of Los Angeles parents, from working moms to superstars like Madonna and Pierce Brosnan, have turned to him to learn the secrets for making babies happy. Never again will parents have to stand by helpless and frazzled while their poor baby cries and cries. Dr. Karp has found there IS a remedy for colic. “I share with parents techniques known only to the most gifted baby soothers throughout history …and I explain exactly how they work.” In a innovative and thought-provoking reevaluation of early infancy, Dr. Karp blends modern science and ancient wisdom to prove that newborns are not fully ready for the world when they are born. Through his research and experience, he has developed four basic principles that are crucial for understanding babies as well as improving their sleep and soothing their senses: ·The Missing Fourth Trimester: as odd as it may sound, one of the main reasons babies cry is because they are born three months too soon. ·The Calming Reflex: the automatic reset switch to stop crying of any baby in the first few months of life. ·The 5 “S’s”: the simple steps (swaddling, side/stomach position, shushing, swinging and sucking) that trigger the calming reflex. For centuries, parents have tried these methods only to fail because, as with a knee reflex, the calming reflex only works when it is triggered in precisely the right way. Unlike other books that merely list these techniques Dr. Karp teaches parents exactly how to do them, to guide cranky infants to calm and easy babies to serenity in minutes…and help them sleep longer too. ·The Cuddle Cure: the perfect mix the 5 “S’s” that can soothe even the most colicky of infants. In the book, Dr. Karp also explains: What is colic? Why do most babies get much more upset in the evening? How can a parent calm a baby--in mere minutes? Can babies be spoiled? When should a parent of a crying baby call the doctor? How can a parent get their baby to sleep a few hours longer? Even the most loving moms and dads sometimes feel pushed to the breaking point by their infant’s persistent cries. Coming to the rescue, however, Dr. Karp places in the hands of parents, grandparents, and all childcare givers the tools they need to be able to calm their babies almost as easily as…turning off a light. From the Hardcover edition.
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0307485803
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 250
Book Description
Perfect for expecting parents who want to provide a soothing home for the newest member of their family, The Happiest Baby on the Block, the national bestseller by respected pediatrician and child development expert Dr. Harvey Karp, is a revolutionary method for calming a crying infant and promoting healthy sleep from day one. In perhaps the most important parenting book of the decade, Dr. Harvey Karp reveals an extraordinary treasure sought by parents for centuries --an automatic “off-switch” for their baby’s crying. No wonder pediatricians across the country are praising him and thousands of Los Angeles parents, from working moms to superstars like Madonna and Pierce Brosnan, have turned to him to learn the secrets for making babies happy. Never again will parents have to stand by helpless and frazzled while their poor baby cries and cries. Dr. Karp has found there IS a remedy for colic. “I share with parents techniques known only to the most gifted baby soothers throughout history …and I explain exactly how they work.” In a innovative and thought-provoking reevaluation of early infancy, Dr. Karp blends modern science and ancient wisdom to prove that newborns are not fully ready for the world when they are born. Through his research and experience, he has developed four basic principles that are crucial for understanding babies as well as improving their sleep and soothing their senses: ·The Missing Fourth Trimester: as odd as it may sound, one of the main reasons babies cry is because they are born three months too soon. ·The Calming Reflex: the automatic reset switch to stop crying of any baby in the first few months of life. ·The 5 “S’s”: the simple steps (swaddling, side/stomach position, shushing, swinging and sucking) that trigger the calming reflex. For centuries, parents have tried these methods only to fail because, as with a knee reflex, the calming reflex only works when it is triggered in precisely the right way. Unlike other books that merely list these techniques Dr. Karp teaches parents exactly how to do them, to guide cranky infants to calm and easy babies to serenity in minutes…and help them sleep longer too. ·The Cuddle Cure: the perfect mix the 5 “S’s” that can soothe even the most colicky of infants. In the book, Dr. Karp also explains: What is colic? Why do most babies get much more upset in the evening? How can a parent calm a baby--in mere minutes? Can babies be spoiled? When should a parent of a crying baby call the doctor? How can a parent get their baby to sleep a few hours longer? Even the most loving moms and dads sometimes feel pushed to the breaking point by their infant’s persistent cries. Coming to the rescue, however, Dr. Karp places in the hands of parents, grandparents, and all childcare givers the tools they need to be able to calm their babies almost as easily as…turning off a light. From the Hardcover edition.
Save Our Sleep, Revised Edition
Author: Tizzie Hall
Publisher: MacMillan Australia
ISBN: 9781743535561
Category : Infants
Languages : en
Pages : 320
Book Description
The bestseller that answers that all-important question for parents - how can I get my baby to sleep?Tizzie Hall is an internationally renowned baby whisperer who has been working with babies and their parents for over 24 years. Her customised sleep routines have helped thousands of restless babies sleep through the night, and in this easy-to-use sleep guide she shares:*Sleep routines for baby's first two years, covering both breast and bottle-fed babies, and their introduction to solids *Teaching your baby to settle and resettle themselves *Solutions to sleep problems *Common questions and case studies from parents *How to overcome any breaks to the sleeping routine Fully revised and updated, this new edition includes a new routine, integrated feedback on routines, expressing and dealing with premature babies and twins, and helpful tips for choosing cots, bedding, swaddling and child safety seats. Tried and tested, Tizzie will show you how to help your child sleep all night, every night.Save Our Sleep is the must-have book for all parents who want to save their sleep.Visit Tizzie's website www.saveoursleep.com
Publisher: MacMillan Australia
ISBN: 9781743535561
Category : Infants
Languages : en
Pages : 320
Book Description
The bestseller that answers that all-important question for parents - how can I get my baby to sleep?Tizzie Hall is an internationally renowned baby whisperer who has been working with babies and their parents for over 24 years. Her customised sleep routines have helped thousands of restless babies sleep through the night, and in this easy-to-use sleep guide she shares:*Sleep routines for baby's first two years, covering both breast and bottle-fed babies, and their introduction to solids *Teaching your baby to settle and resettle themselves *Solutions to sleep problems *Common questions and case studies from parents *How to overcome any breaks to the sleeping routine Fully revised and updated, this new edition includes a new routine, integrated feedback on routines, expressing and dealing with premature babies and twins, and helpful tips for choosing cots, bedding, swaddling and child safety seats. Tried and tested, Tizzie will show you how to help your child sleep all night, every night.Save Our Sleep is the must-have book for all parents who want to save their sleep.Visit Tizzie's website www.saveoursleep.com
Brain Rules for Baby (Updated and Expanded)
Author: John Medina
Publisher: Pear Press
ISBN: 0983263396
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 338
Book Description
What’s the single most important thing you can do during pregnancy? What does watching TV do to a child’s brain? What’s the best way to handle temper tantrums? Scientists know. In his New York Times bestseller Brain Rules, Dr. John Medina showed us how our brains really work—and why we ought to redesign our workplaces and schools. Now, in Brain Rules for Baby, he shares what the latest science says about how to raise smart and happy children from zero to five. This book is destined to revolutionize parenting. Just one of the surprises: The best way to get your children into the college of their choice? Teach them impulse control. Brain Rules for Baby bridges the gap between what scientists know and what parents practice. Through fascinating and funny stories, Medina, a developmental molecular biologist and dad, unravels how a child’s brain develops – and what you can do to optimize it. You will view your children—and how to raise them—in a whole new light. You’ll learn: Where nature ends and nurture begins Why men should do more household chores What you do when emotions run hot affects how your baby turns out, because babies need to feel safe above all TV is harmful for children under 2 Your child’s ability to relate to others predicts her future math performance Smart and happy are inseparable. Pursuing your child’s intellectual success at the expense of his happiness achieves neither Praising effort is better than praising intelligence The best predictor of academic performance is not IQ. It’s self-control What you do right now—before pregnancy, during pregnancy, and through the first five years—will affect your children for the rest of their lives. Brain Rules for Baby is an indispensable guide.
Publisher: Pear Press
ISBN: 0983263396
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 338
Book Description
What’s the single most important thing you can do during pregnancy? What does watching TV do to a child’s brain? What’s the best way to handle temper tantrums? Scientists know. In his New York Times bestseller Brain Rules, Dr. John Medina showed us how our brains really work—and why we ought to redesign our workplaces and schools. Now, in Brain Rules for Baby, he shares what the latest science says about how to raise smart and happy children from zero to five. This book is destined to revolutionize parenting. Just one of the surprises: The best way to get your children into the college of their choice? Teach them impulse control. Brain Rules for Baby bridges the gap between what scientists know and what parents practice. Through fascinating and funny stories, Medina, a developmental molecular biologist and dad, unravels how a child’s brain develops – and what you can do to optimize it. You will view your children—and how to raise them—in a whole new light. You’ll learn: Where nature ends and nurture begins Why men should do more household chores What you do when emotions run hot affects how your baby turns out, because babies need to feel safe above all TV is harmful for children under 2 Your child’s ability to relate to others predicts her future math performance Smart and happy are inseparable. Pursuing your child’s intellectual success at the expense of his happiness achieves neither Praising effort is better than praising intelligence The best predictor of academic performance is not IQ. It’s self-control What you do right now—before pregnancy, during pregnancy, and through the first five years—will affect your children for the rest of their lives. Brain Rules for Baby is an indispensable guide.
Moms on Call Basic Baby Care
Author: Laura A. Hunter
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780985411428
Category : Infants
Languages : en
Pages : 160
Book Description
Baby care book for parents of babies 0-6 months
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780985411428
Category : Infants
Languages : en
Pages : 160
Book Description
Baby care book for parents of babies 0-6 months
Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old
Author: Suzy Giordano
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593719395
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 161
Book Description
There is no bigger issue for healthy infants than sleeping through the night. In this simple, straightforward book, Suzy Giordano presents her amazingly effective "Limited- Crying Solution" that will get any baby to sleep for twelve hours at night—and three hours in the day—by the age of twelve weeks old. Giordano is the mother of five children and one of the most sought-after baby sleep specialists in the country. The Washington Post calls her a baby sleep "guru" and "an underground legend in the Washington area for her ability to teach newborns how to achieve that parenting nirvana: sleeping through the night." Her sleep plan has been tested with singletons, twins, triplets, babies with special needs, and colicky babies—and it has never failed. Whether you are pregnant, first-time parents, or parents who seek a different path with your second or third child, anyone can benefit from the Baby Coach’s popular system of regular feeding times, twelve hours of sleep at night and three hours of sleep during the day, and the peace of mind that comes with taking the parent and child out of a sleep- deprived world.
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593719395
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 161
Book Description
There is no bigger issue for healthy infants than sleeping through the night. In this simple, straightforward book, Suzy Giordano presents her amazingly effective "Limited- Crying Solution" that will get any baby to sleep for twelve hours at night—and three hours in the day—by the age of twelve weeks old. Giordano is the mother of five children and one of the most sought-after baby sleep specialists in the country. The Washington Post calls her a baby sleep "guru" and "an underground legend in the Washington area for her ability to teach newborns how to achieve that parenting nirvana: sleeping through the night." Her sleep plan has been tested with singletons, twins, triplets, babies with special needs, and colicky babies—and it has never failed. Whether you are pregnant, first-time parents, or parents who seek a different path with your second or third child, anyone can benefit from the Baby Coach’s popular system of regular feeding times, twelve hours of sleep at night and three hours of sleep during the day, and the peace of mind that comes with taking the parent and child out of a sleep- deprived world.