Clovenhoof

Clovenhoof PDF Author:
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780957175433
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description

Clovenhoof

Clovenhoof PDF Author:
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780957175433
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

Get Book Here

Book Description


Hooflandia

Hooflandia PDF Author: Heide Goody
Publisher: Pigeon Park Press
ISBN: 9780995749788
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 468

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Book Description
When Jeremy Clovenhoof decides to set himself up as President for Life of his own breakaway country, he knows he'll need money, lots and lots of money. That might be a bit difficult, particularly since the Inland Revenue have just presented him with an enormous tax bill and Heaven and Hell have sent Joan of Arc and Rutspud of the Sixth Circle to bring him under control. But nothing can keep this devil down. He's got the business acumen and the spunk to make a fortune and found the independent nation state of Hooflandia. Come see the really big wall! Enjoy the nudist beach! Visit the combined log flume and waterboarding torture centre! The seventh book in the Clovenhoof series, Hooflandia, is a ridiculous romp, featuring ventriloquist dummies, cut-price funerals, sexy archbishops, robot cars, musical butt plugs, tax avoidance and a million angry nuns.

Beelzebelle

Beelzebelle PDF Author: Heide Goody
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780993365508
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 398

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Book Description
To the devil a daughter! Parenthood can come as a shock to some. It's especially shocking if you are Satan, the Prince of Hell, and are trying to live a quiet life of semi-retirement in suburban England under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof. Clovenhoof quickly finds that being a single parent involves more than lullabies and nappies and has to contend with social disapproval, paternity tests and, possibly, the end of the world. The fifth novel in the Clovenhoof series, Beelzebelle is an anarchic adventure, featuring a psychotic monkey au pair, runaway coffins, badly stuffed animals, strip dominoes, fire-breathing ferrets, pimped-up prams, well-meaning middle-class mums, apocalyptic floods, the largest act of public nudity Birmingham has ever seen and way too much homebrew Lambrini.

Oddjobs

Oddjobs PDF Author: Heide Goody
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780993365539
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 296

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Book Description
It's the end of the world as we know it, but someone still needs to do the paperwork. Incomprehensible horrors from beyond are going to devour our world but that's no excuse to get all emotional about it. Morag Murray works for the secret government organisation responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible. In her first week on the job, Morag has to hunt down a man-eating starfish, solve a supernatural murder and, if she's got time, prevent her own inevitable death. The first book in a new comedy series by the creators of 'Clovenhoof', Oddjobs is a sideswipe at the world of work and a fantastical adventure featuring amphibian wannabe gangstas, mad old cat ladies, ancient gods, apocalyptic scrabble, fish porn, telepathic curry and, possibly, the end of the world before the weekend.

Satan's Shorts

Satan's Shorts PDF Author: Heide Goody
Publisher: Pigeon Park Press
ISBN: 0992703433
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 142

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Book Description
Curious about the day that Saint Christopher found out he'd been declared non-existent by the pope? What exactly is a cat in Hell's chance? How would an annual Christmas present exchange between Heaven and Hell work out? Find out the answers to these and other pressing questions in this collection of short stories from the world of Clovenhoof. This contains the stories, Clovenhoof's Shed and Clovenhoof Goes To Night School, which were previously published individually, but there are eight other stories included here featuring favourite characters from Heaven and Hell. Contains: Clovenhoof goes to Night School. Patron Saint of Nothing At All. Clovenhoof and the Snowmen. Saint Nicholas and the Krampus. Detritus at the Church Fete. Clovenhoof and the Spiders. A Cat in Hell's Chance. The Non-Specific Prayer Assessment Unit. The Hoof. Clovenhoof's Shed.

Hellzapoppin'

Hellzapoppin' PDF Author: Heide Goody
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780993314988
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 350

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Book Description
Life at St Cadfan's is never dull. There's the cellar full of unexplained corpses. There's the struggle to find food when the island is placed under quarantine. And there's that peculiar staircase in the cellar... Being a demon in Hell has its own problems. There's the increasingly impossible torture quotas to meet. There's the entire horde of Hell waiting for you to slip up and make a mistake. And there's that weird staircase in the service tunnels... Brother Stephen of St Cadfan's and Rutpsud of the Sixth Circle, natural enemies and the most unnatural of friends, join forces to solve a murder mystery, save a rare species from extinction and stop Hell itself exploding. The fourth novel in the Clovenhoof series, Hellzapoppin' is an astonishing comedy featuring suicidal sea birds, deadly plagues, exploding barbecues, dancing rats, magical wardrobes, King Arthur's American descendants, mole-hunting monks, demonic possession and way too much seaweed beer.

Holymoly

Holymoly PDF Author: Iain Grant
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780995749795
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 248

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Book Description
Stephen and his friends spent their teenage years immersed in the fantasy gaming worlds of wizards and warriors, undertaking quests to fight evil occultists, vanquish terrible monsters and rescue damsels in distress. Now, twenty-something years later, there is a real-life quest. Life as a monk has hardly prepared Brother Stephen for the mission ahead. Demon Rutspud is definitely not a damsel, but he is in distress. The evil occultists are real and if Stephen doesn't rescue Rutspud from a fate worse than death, no one will... Sword-wielding Satanists, stir crazy demons, super-smart squirrels, magical garbage and a suitcase that cannot be stopped run riot in a story about the bonds of friendship and dark deeds in suburban cellars.

The Only Wizard in Town

The Only Wizard in Town PDF Author: Iain Grant
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781916466210
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 252

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Book Description
A city under siege by a barbarian horde...A band of ruthless mercenaries...A trap-filled dungeon...A situation like this calls for the best wizard in town.What they've got is the ONLY wizard in town: Newport Pagnell, oral hygiene specialist.More used to soothing fevered gums and extracting rotten teeth, this dental spellcaster has to perform an operation like never before: extracting a fabled treasure from the jaws of certain doom. This time, he might have bitten off more than he can chew...

Festive Treats

Festive Treats PDF Author: Heide Goody
Publisher: Pigeon Park Press
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 159

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Book Description
Festive Treats A delicious selection box of Christmas tales Festive Treats is a selection box of Christmas tales stuffed full of delicious delights and surprises. Fifteen of the best writers around present you with seasonal stories that are, by turns, joyful, wondrous, bittersweet and heart-warming. Includes stories by: AA Abbott Justin Lee Anderson James Brogden David Croser Margaret Egrot Katharine D’Souza Simon Fairbanks Heide Goody Iain Grant Hilary Mortz Lindsay Stanberry-Flynn Suzanna Stanbury RE Vance A Stuart Williams Debbie Young

Blood of Assassins

Blood of Assassins PDF Author: RJ Barker
Publisher: Orbit
ISBN: 0316466565
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 416

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Book Description
A cynical assassin struggles to keep his magic a secret as he navigates a world torn apart by a war in this thrilling sequel to RJ Barker's fantasy debut, Age of Assassins In a desperate bid to escape the bounty on his head, assassin Girton Club-Foot has returned to Maniyadoc, but the kingdom he knew no longer exists. Three kings battle for supremacy in a land ravaged by war-and one of them is his old friend Rufra. With threats inside and outside the war encampment, Girton races to find the traitor behind an assassination plot. But his magic can no longer be contained and Girton may not be able to save even himself. It's assassin versus assassin for the life of a king... ​ Praise for The Wounded Kingdom: "Dead gods, dread magic, and a lead that feels like a breath of fresh air. Great fun."―Peter Newman, author of The Vagrant "Often poignant and always intriguing, Age of Assassins reveals its mysteries with the style of a magic show and the artful grace of a gifted storyteller."―Nicholas Eames, author of Kings of the Wild "The most interesting treatment of the fantasy assassin trope in a while, and an involving narrative in its own right."―RT Book Reviews The Wounded Kingdom Age of Assassins Blood of Assassins King of Assassins For more from RJ Barker, check out: The Tide Child Trilogy The Bone Ships Call of the Bone Ships