Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: HarperBusiness
ISBN: 9780887308819
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 196

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Book Description
Behind the closed doors of corporate management lurks a manifesto so devious, so insidious, and of such diabolic power, it has the ability to transform normal human beings into paradigm–spewing zombies. Its purpose: to help bosses stick it to their employees. Its author: none other than Dogbert, the canine corporate consultant out to rule the world. All too often, new managers make mistakes such as rewarding good work with good pay, communicating clearly and improving departmental efficiency. Dogbert shows that this could have devastating consequences: Employees begin to expect fair treatment and compensation, productive workers show results (making managers look bad by comparison), and the department's future budget allotment could be decreased because it spends only what it needs. Drawing from his years of experience tormenting Dilbert and advising his boss, our Machiavellian mutt uses pithy essays, illustrated by scores of comic strips, to teach neophyte managers such potent practices as: The power of verbal instructions: Sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability! Empty promises of promotion: all the motivational benefits, none of the costs! Pretending to care: Learn how to hear without listening! Incentives: Inspire employees by giving them worthless knickknacks! Once again firmly establishing Scott Adams as the spokesman for the absurdities of the workplace (and Dogbert as the guru of sticking it to the masses), Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook is the perfect gift for all cubicle dwellers and their bosses.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: HarperBusiness
ISBN: 9780887308819
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 196

Get Book Here

Book Description
Behind the closed doors of corporate management lurks a manifesto so devious, so insidious, and of such diabolic power, it has the ability to transform normal human beings into paradigm–spewing zombies. Its purpose: to help bosses stick it to their employees. Its author: none other than Dogbert, the canine corporate consultant out to rule the world. All too often, new managers make mistakes such as rewarding good work with good pay, communicating clearly and improving departmental efficiency. Dogbert shows that this could have devastating consequences: Employees begin to expect fair treatment and compensation, productive workers show results (making managers look bad by comparison), and the department's future budget allotment could be decreased because it spends only what it needs. Drawing from his years of experience tormenting Dilbert and advising his boss, our Machiavellian mutt uses pithy essays, illustrated by scores of comic strips, to teach neophyte managers such potent practices as: The power of verbal instructions: Sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability! Empty promises of promotion: all the motivational benefits, none of the costs! Pretending to care: Learn how to hear without listening! Incentives: Inspire employees by giving them worthless knickknacks! Once again firmly establishing Scott Adams as the spokesman for the absurdities of the workplace (and Dogbert as the guru of sticking it to the masses), Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook is the perfect gift for all cubicle dwellers and their bosses.

Thriving on Vague Objectives

Thriving on Vague Objectives PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740755331
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 128

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Book Description
Dilbert and the gang are back for this 26th collection, another take-off of office life that will appeal to cubicle dwellers across the globe.

Microsoft .NET and SAP

Microsoft .NET and SAP PDF Author: Juergen Daiberl
Publisher: Microsoft Press
ISBN:
Category : Computers
Languages : en
Pages : 482

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Book Description
Get hands-on answers to frequently asked questions about using Microsoft .NET technologies to customize and extend SAP applications. Walk through dozens of real-world examples--from Web Services integration to business intelligence (BI) reporting and Microsoft Office-based solutions--direct from a team of Microsoft-SAP interoperability experts. Learn how to expose back-end SAP data through familiar Microsoft tools and UIs--for better productivity and lower TCO. Discover how to: Navigate the development environment and tools--including Microsoft Visual Studio, Visual Studio Tools for Office, and BizTalk Server Connect .NET and SAP via Web Services, tools like SAP Connector and Enterprise Service Explorer, and .NET Data Provider Implement BI solutions that unlock SAP data through familiar Microsoft UIs Expose data from SAP NetWeaver Portal in Microsoft Office SharePoint Server Use the Business Data Catalog to display and search SAP content--no coding Build your own Office Business Applications (OBAs), or put Duet to work Add Microsoft Office presence functionality and forms solutions to SAP applications Deliver a single sign-on solution

The Dilbert Principle

The Dilbert Principle PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
ISBN: 9780752272207
Category : Art
Languages : en
Pages : 356

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Book Description
The Dilbert Principle is an inside view of bosses, meetings, management fads and other workplace afflictions. Scott Adams examines even more bizarre and hilarious situations in the world of work with growing absurdity.In twenty-six provocative, illustrated chapters, Adams reveals the secrets of management in every company, including; swearing your way to success, faking quality, trolls in the accounting department, humiliation as a management tool, selling bad products to stupid people and more! 'A roaring success' Daily Telegraph.

Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!

Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain! PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Portfolio
ISBN: 9781591842309
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 404

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Book Description
Everyone knows Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, as the king of workplace humor. His insights into the crazy world of business have long been on display in his hugely popular comic strip and bestselling books like The Dilbert Principle. But there's much more to life than work, and it turns out that the man behind Dogbert and the Pointy-Haired Boss has an equally outrageous take on life outside the cubicle. Adams ventures into uncharted territory in this collection of more than 150 short pieces on everything from lunar real estate to serial killers, not to mention politics, religion, dating, underwear, alien life, and the menace of car singing. He isn't afraid to confront the most pressing questions of our day, such as the pros and cons of toothpaste smuggling, why kangaroos don't drive cars, and whether Jesus would approve of your second iPod.

God's Debris

God's Debris PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9780740747878
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 148

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Book Description
In God's Debris, best-selling author and creator of Dilbert Scott Adams fashioned a thought-provoking exploration of life's great mysteries (everything from quantum physics and God to psychic phenomena and dating) that quickly captured the attention and imaginations of readers everywhere. The intriguing story of a deliveryman who meets the world's smartest person and learns the secret of reality is threaded with a variety of hypnosis techniques that Adams, a certified hypnotist, used to induce a feeling of euphoric enlightenment in readers to mirror the main character's feelings as he discovers the true nature of the universe.Launched to coincide with the hardcover publication of its sequel, The Religion War (see opposite page), this first paperback edition of God's Debris will soon make the leap to a broader audience. As Adams designed it, the book will "make your brain spin around inside your skull" and drive readers toward The Religion War as they seek to confirm or deny the dizzying impressions and chaotic memories of reading God's Debris.The book provides one of the most compelling visions of reality ever experienced on the printed page. Along the way, readers will enjoy the Thought Experiment: Trying to discover what's wrong with the sage's explanation of reality. This is a book, as Adams says, to be shared and savored with smart friends.

The Japanese Wife

The Japanese Wife PDF Author: Kunal Basu
Publisher: Harpercollins
ISBN: 9788172239039
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
An Indian man writes to a Japanese woman. She writes back. Romance blossoms between the two, the pen-friends exchange vows over letters, then spend the next fifteen years as a married couple without ever setting eyes on each other, until the intimacy of words is tested finally by the intimacy of life. Like The Japanese Wife, the other stories in this collection are also about residents and non-residents. In Grateful Ganga, an American rock queen shares her love tunes with a Punjabi businessman even as she mourns her dead husband; in Snakecharmer, a retired Israeli American professor arrives in India with the intention of committing suicide, only to be saved by a snakecharmers daughter. Father Tito, the emigre Yugoslav of Father Titos Onion Rings, is haunted by the Holocaust as he intercedes between Hindu and Muslim rioters. The stories here are about unexpected love and accidental gifts; about finding oneself among strangers; about living elsewhere and living in ones dreams. They parade a full cast of priests, whores, rebels, dead emperors, bush soldiers, poachers, conmen and connoisseurs-angels and demons rubbing shoulders with those whose lives are never quite as ordinary as they seem.

Still Pumped from Using the Mouse

Still Pumped from Using the Mouse PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9780836210262
Category : Comics & Graphic Novels
Languages : en
Pages : 136

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Book Description
"Provides an outrageously fresh and farcical takes on the work-a-day world and Dilbert's own pathetic life"--Back cover.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006052149X
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 372

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Book Description
Back after a four–year hiatus, New York Times bestselling author Scott Adams presents an outrageous look at work, home and everyday life in his new book, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel. Building on Dilbert's theory that 'All people are idiots', Adams now says, 'All people are idiots. And they are also weasels.' Just ask anyone who worked at Enron. In this book, Adams takes a look into the Weasel Zone, the giant grey area between good moral behaviour and outright felonious activities. In the Weasel Zone, where most people reside, everything is misleading, but not exactly a lie. Building on his popular comic strip, Adams looks into work, home and everyday life and exposes the way of the weasel for everyone to see. With appearances from all the regular comic strip characters, Adams and Dilbert are at the top of their game – master satirists who expose the truth while making us laugh our heads off.

Starting FORTH

Starting FORTH PDF Author: Leo Brodie
Publisher: Prentice Hall
ISBN:
Category : Computers
Languages : en
Pages : 374

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Book Description
Software -- Programming Languages.