Baboon Fart Story

Baboon Fart Story PDF Author: Phronk
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312039477
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 200

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Book Description
In a 2014 blog post by author Chuck Wendig, he addressed the truism that self publishing is the only real choice for authors today: "I can literally write the word 'fart' 100,000 times and slap a cover of [a] baboon urinating into his own mouth, then upload that cool motherfucker right to Amazon. Nobody would stop me. Whereas, at the Kept Gates, a dozen editors and agents would slap my Baboon Fart Story to the ground like an errant badminton birdie." Should we just take Chuck's word for it? Of course not. His hypothesis, like any other, needs to be put to the test. Science, bitch. Can one simply walk into self-publishing like a damn hobbit? This book is the word "fart" written 100 000 times. You are literally about to buy the word ""fart,"" written over and over. There is a picture of a baboon drinking piss on the cover for some reason, but other than that, it's a whole lot of ""fart."" It's also a biting critique of quality control in self-publishing or something.

Baboon Fart Story

Baboon Fart Story PDF Author: Phronk
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312039477
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 200

Get Book Here

Book Description
In a 2014 blog post by author Chuck Wendig, he addressed the truism that self publishing is the only real choice for authors today: "I can literally write the word 'fart' 100,000 times and slap a cover of [a] baboon urinating into his own mouth, then upload that cool motherfucker right to Amazon. Nobody would stop me. Whereas, at the Kept Gates, a dozen editors and agents would slap my Baboon Fart Story to the ground like an errant badminton birdie." Should we just take Chuck's word for it? Of course not. His hypothesis, like any other, needs to be put to the test. Science, bitch. Can one simply walk into self-publishing like a damn hobbit? This book is the word "fart" written 100 000 times. You are literally about to buy the word ""fart,"" written over and over. There is a picture of a baboon drinking piss on the cover for some reason, but other than that, it's a whole lot of ""fart."" It's also a biting critique of quality control in self-publishing or something.

Yesu's Baboon

Yesu's Baboon PDF Author: Gerhard Venter
Publisher: Gerhard Venter
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 485

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Book Description
The judgment of Koyati, a poor herdboy from a remote village in Tanzania, is often clouded, as if he were a crocodile lurking under muddy waters. He would rather be quick and clear-eyed like Rabbit. He goes to the city and soon lands in prison. A parole officer calls him a baboon. Insulted to the core, Koyati starts incorporating a baboon in his woodcarving. On death row he discovers that he has world-class talent. Can his strange art save him?

Does It Fart?

Does It Fart? PDF Author: Nick Caruso
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1526361892
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 48

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Book Description
An explosive and hilarious look at facts, farts, and fun! Dogs fart. Cats fart. Horses fart (a lot). But what about snakes? Spiders? Octopuses? What about chimpanzees? Cheetahs? Or dinosaurs? In this gaseous guide to kids' favourite animals (and some they've probably never heard of), young readers will discover not only which animals parp, but also which have the stinkiest farts, which fart the most, and where all this smelly stuff comes from. They'll even learn which species has its own secret fart code! Perfect for reluctant readers, and with full-colour illustrations throughout, Does It Fart? is the funniest book you never knew you needed. Based on the New York Times bestseller Does It Fart?: The Definitive Field Guide to Animal Flatulence.

The Arborist

The Arborist PDF Author: P. T. Phronk
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781539313618
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 126

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Book Description
The tree wasn't there last night. Wes's perfect little family doesn't appreciate nature like he does, and they don't seem to care that their own back yard has become a site of unearthly mystery.But Wes cares. He needs to know what it is, and where it came from, because this is no ordinary tree. It's growing far too quickly.Then there's the concerning matter of the entity that the tree attracts in the middle of the night ...P.T. Phronk presents a short novel of quiet horror that will make you rethink the things growing just outside your door.

You Can Do Anything, Magic Skeleton!

You Can Do Anything, Magic Skeleton! PDF Author: Chuck Wendig
Publisher: Rizzoli Publications
ISBN: 0789337029
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
In the tradition of inspirational pick-me-ups like Lin-Manuel Miranda and Johnny Sun's G'Morning, G'Night but with a Calvin & Hobbesian sensibility comes this whimsically nerdy spin, illustrated by Natalie Metzger, on motivating folks into getting creative and "DOING THE THINGS." For several years, Chuck has crafted hilarious and inspirational thoughts of the day--they might begin with an optimistic salvo, but inevitably and mirthfully detour into the demon-summoning, robot-making, or confirming that humans are actually mythical hybrid creatures. Equal parts inspiring, sweet, and very funny, Wendig's profane and imaginative galvanizing quips in You Can Do Anything, Magic Skeleton! are sure to amp up readers and motivate them to get things done.

Bug Week

Bug Week PDF Author: Airini Beautrais
Publisher: Victoria University Press
ISBN: 1776563824
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 136

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Book Description
A science educator in domestic chaos fetishises Scandinavian furniture and champagne flutes. A group of white-collar deadbeats attend a swinger's party in the era of drunk Muldoon. A pervasive smell seeps through the walls of a German housing block. A seabird performs at an open-mic night.Bug Week is a scalpel-clean examination of male entitlement, a dissection of death, an agar plate of mundanity. From 1960s Wellington to post-Communist Germany, Bug Week traverses the weird, the wry and the grotesque in a story collection of human taxonomy.

Rise of the Spider Goddess

Rise of the Spider Goddess PDF Author: Jim C. Hines
Publisher: Jim C. Hines
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 200

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Book Description


They Poured Fire on Us From the Sky

They Poured Fire on Us From the Sky PDF Author: Benjamin Ajak
Publisher: PublicAffairs
ISBN: 1610395999
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 353

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Book Description
The inspiring story of three young Sudanese boys who were driven from their homes by civil war and began an epic odyssey of survival, facing life-threatening perils, ultimately finding their way to a new life in America. Between 1987 and 1989, Alepho, Benjamin, and Benson, like tens of thousands of young boys, took flight from the massacres of Sudan's civil war. They became known as the Lost Boys. With little more than the clothes on their backs, sometimes not even that, they streamed out over Sudan in search of refuge. Their journey led them first to Ethiopia and then, driven back into Sudan, toward Kenya. They walked nearly one thousand miles, sustained only by the sheer will to live. They Poured Fire on Us from the Sky is the three boys' account of that unimaginable journey. With the candor and the purity of their child's-eye-vision, Alephonsian, Benjamin, and Benson recall by turns: how they endured the hunger and strength-sapping illnesses-dysentery, malaria, and yellow fever; how they dodged the life-threatening predators-lions, snakes, crocodiles and soldiers alike-that dogged their footsteps; and how they grappled with a war that threatened continually to overwhelm them. Their story is a lyrical, captivating, timeless portrait of a childhood hurled into wartime and how they had the good fortune and belief in themselves to survive.

Doodle Adventures: The Search for the Slimy Space Slugs!

Doodle Adventures: The Search for the Slimy Space Slugs! PDF Author: Mike Lowery
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 0761187197
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 113

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Book Description
Draw your way through the story! Doodle Adventures: The Search for the Slimy Space Slugs! is a lighthearted fantasy where the reader first draws him- or herself into the story, and then continues by following prompts and adding more illustrations and doodles. Set in space, the book invites the reader to join Carl, a duck and member of a super-secret international group of explorers, on a journey in search of a very important grail-like object. The book is sturdy paper over board with beautiful cream paper—perfect for defacing! And by the end, the reader will have co-written a tale to return to again and again, and show off to family and friends.

The House on East 88th Street

The House on East 88th Street PDF Author: Bernard Waber
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 9780395199701
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 52

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Book Description
"It is called the Elemental Control. And it is failing. The elements are mere ghosts of their full forces. And, as it fails Delphi, I start to die. I need you to save me, the future of your home, and a very powerful boy." Earth, fire, water, wind. Four elements that make up everything Delphi knows to be normal. All her life, she has been a servant to a mysterious man named The Master - until The Master comes to her island home and asks her to undertake a dangerous task in the far-off, elemental lands. Delphi is alone in places with strange secrets and rules, with the fate of her world on her shoulders, and although she makes many friends she also attracts more dangerous attention... Leo has never known home - and he isn't exactly a normal boy. When he is kidnapped by a nameless man who tries to force Leo to reveal his powers, he finds he has nobody he can turn to - except a girl in his dreams called Delphi... Can Delphi find the Elemental Stones to bring the Control back into balance? Will she get to Leo's prison in time? And, when faced with the ultimate challenge, can Delphi find the inner strength to save everything she loves? A story about courage, friendship and finding where you belong. About the Author Esme Carpenter started writing at the age of twelve and since then has never looked back. Despite completing a five-book series by fifteen, she couldn't stop, resulting in a backlog of fantasy and science-fiction novels decaying on her harddrive, awaiting liberation (and possibly a good edit). An avid reader all her life, Esme always enjoyed stories. Her love of both writing and reading led her to the University of East Anglia to study English Literature and Creative Writing; she graduated summer 2011. Esme enjoys, amongst other things, comic books, video games and music, the latter of which gives her the best inspiration and is often used to drive her stories. At present she is writing a graphic novel. Against the Elements is her debut novel, written when she was fifteen and edited at the tender age of twenty-one. Esme lives in York, England, with a ridiculous amount of nerdy memorabilia.