You Don't Look Fat, You Look Crazy

You Don't Look Fat, You Look Crazy PDF Author: Ashley Longshore
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1682450457
Category : Art
Languages : en
Pages : 170

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Book Description
“Carpe diem, bitches.” —Ashley Longshore Pour a glass of champagne, slip off your designer heels, pull up your big girl panties and enjoy pop-artist extraordinaire Ashley Longshore’s unapologetic, raw, and literally laugh-out-loud funny guide to living an “ambitchous” life. For Ashley Longshore, the path from reluctant Southern Belle to badass artist and aspiring mogul hasn’t always been a smooth one. As a reformed Trophy-Wife-in-Training, Ashley has overcome failure, healed heartbreak, and worked damn hard, all with her signature killer attitude, to conquer the art world one glittery pop-art masterpiece at a time. You Don’t Look Fat, You Look Crazy is a window into the world of Longshore’s irreverent, glamorous, and stunningly visual pop-art-filled life, where bedazzled flowers sit next to diamonds and Valium boxes, Jesus holds a black Amex and Wonder Woman dresses in Chanel. With tongue-in-cheek advice straight from her canvas, such as “There’s No Crying At Bergdorf’s,” “Always Ask For More,” and “What Would Blue Ivy Do,” Ashley’s honesty and DGAF attitude will grab you by your Givenchy lapels and hit you across the face with the donut you promised yourself you wouldn’t eat. So be confident, grab life by the Birkins, embrace your “ambitchion,” and remember, you don’t look fat—you look crazy!

You Don't Look Fat, You Look Crazy

You Don't Look Fat, You Look Crazy PDF Author: Ashley Longshore
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1682450457
Category : Art
Languages : en
Pages : 170

Get Book Here

Book Description
“Carpe diem, bitches.” —Ashley Longshore Pour a glass of champagne, slip off your designer heels, pull up your big girl panties and enjoy pop-artist extraordinaire Ashley Longshore’s unapologetic, raw, and literally laugh-out-loud funny guide to living an “ambitchous” life. For Ashley Longshore, the path from reluctant Southern Belle to badass artist and aspiring mogul hasn’t always been a smooth one. As a reformed Trophy-Wife-in-Training, Ashley has overcome failure, healed heartbreak, and worked damn hard, all with her signature killer attitude, to conquer the art world one glittery pop-art masterpiece at a time. You Don’t Look Fat, You Look Crazy is a window into the world of Longshore’s irreverent, glamorous, and stunningly visual pop-art-filled life, where bedazzled flowers sit next to diamonds and Valium boxes, Jesus holds a black Amex and Wonder Woman dresses in Chanel. With tongue-in-cheek advice straight from her canvas, such as “There’s No Crying At Bergdorf’s,” “Always Ask For More,” and “What Would Blue Ivy Do,” Ashley’s honesty and DGAF attitude will grab you by your Givenchy lapels and hit you across the face with the donut you promised yourself you wouldn’t eat. So be confident, grab life by the Birkins, embrace your “ambitchion,” and remember, you don’t look fat—you look crazy!

Lose Weight Like Crazy Even If You Have a Crazy Life!

Lose Weight Like Crazy Even If You Have a Crazy Life! PDF Author: Autumn Calabrese
Publisher: Galvanized Media
ISBN: 1940358515
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 304

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Book Description
You can lose weight like crazy, and you can achieve anything! Autumn Calabrese shares the revolutionary step-by-step approach to lose weight that made her one of the top fitness and nutrition celebrities in the world. No cutting corners and no BS: In this book she reveals the personal struggles that shaped her approach to overcome excuses that led to this 30-day plan to succeed at weight loss, and life! Hey there! I’m Autumn Calabrese. I’m a Midwest girl, a single working mom who really had no business being in the business of health and fitness. But I found my passion in helping people achieve their weight-loss and health goals. I turned myself into a mini mega-mogul of nutrition and fitness with two of Beachbody’s most successful programs ever: 21 Day Fix and The Ultimate Portion Fix. I’ve led a crazy life and it’s still crazy—probably a lot like yours. I’ve faced tremendous hardships and disappointments that have deflated my self-confidence. But I’ve found a way to turn “failures” into “redirections” that have transformed my life. And you can do it, too! Over the past five years, I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of people finally get control of food and lose 10, 20, 30, even more than 100 pounds with my breakthrough weight-loss programs. And, now I’m going to do the same for you! Imagine enjoying your favorite CARBS, WINE AND COCKTAILS, AND EVEN CHOCOLATE CAKE and still melt fat to build the lean, fit, healthy body you’ve always wanted! Here’s my proposition: Give me just 30 days of your time, trust my process, GO ALL IN, and see what happens to your body. If you’ve ever struggled to lose weight before, I know why, and I have the solution. Lose Weight Like Crazy is NOT a DIET. There’s Zero Deprivation. It works by automatically controlling your portion sizes, eliminating those unhealthy, sugary processed foods that trigger cravings, and filling you up on a proven ratio of healthy whole foods. It’s simple. It’s backed by science. And it works. Here’s what YOU can expect while you lose weight like crazy: You won’t count calories! You won’t feel hungry or deprived! You can enjoy dessert! You can have a cocktail with your friends! You can speed up your results by adding fast, fun exercise routines that you’ll love! (free lifetime access to my 2 new workout videos included with the book!) You can maintain your new body and feel amazing—for life!

Does This Beach Make Me Look Fat?

Does This Beach Make Me Look Fat? PDF Author: Lisa Scottoline
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1250059941
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 301

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Book Description
"Lisa and Francesca are back with another collection of warm and witty stories that will strike a chord with every woman. This five book series is among the best reviewed humor books published today and has been compared to the late greats, Erma Bombeck and Nora Ephron. Delia Ephron said of the fifth book in the series, Have a Nice Guilt Trip, "Lisa and Francesca, mother and daughter, bring you the laughter of their lives once again and better than ever. You will identify with these tales of guilt and fall in love with them and fierce (grand)Mother Mary." This sixth volume will not disappoint as it hits the humorous and poignant note that fans have come to expect from the beloved mother-daughter duo"--

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Does This Make Me Look Fat? PDF Author: Leah Feldon
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0307415058
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 176

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Book Description
"There are really only two kinds of clothes in the world—those that make you look fat and those that don't. All the rest is just details," writes style maven Leah Feldon. "If you really want the answer to 'Does this make me look fat?' this is where you'll get it—whether you're an ultra-size diva on a mini-size starlet. Here, clothes that add heft are taken to task and those that diminish it are cheered. In these pages you will find out exactly what you need to know to make you look slimmer, taller, and better-proportioned in your clothes." Feldon both enlightens and delights as she takes on old clichés, details common mistakes, and shares the fine points of "Camouflage Chic." "It's about artfully disguising figure challenges while highlighting your assets and adding a dash of real style." Packed with practical, easy-to-implement tips, celebrity quotes, and illustrations, Does This Make Me Look Fat? gives you all the information you need to pull together a totally slimming wardrobe—and help your favorite man do it, too. Feldon has been at the forefront of the fashion industry for more than twenty years, as a stylist, designer, image consultant, journalist, author, and television commentator and host. She has dressed models, celebrities, and "real people" alike, and in the course of her career has learned that any figure can be improved with the right clothes. Does This Make Me Look Fat? covers such topics as: —design details that pack on pounds —the "yes" and "no" colors —slacks—pleated versus unpleated —shapewear that really works —which fabrics slim and which ones plump —outfits guaranteed to make you love your thighs again —styles that have to go—what to toss and what to keep If you follow the clever advice in this book, the next time you ask, "Does this make me look fat?" the answer will be a resounding "NO!" You'll never again waste money on things you'll never wear, or waste time trying on every-thing in your closet to find the least fattening outfit. You'll buck the trends and will know the distinction between fad and fashion. But this book is also about finding your personal style. "When your clothes are in perfect harmony with your body and your personality and the special qualities that make you unique in this world," says Feldon, "you've crossed the line from ordinary fashion to great style. My goal is to help you cross that line—looking fabulous all the way!"

How to Never Look Fat Again

How to Never Look Fat Again PDF Author: Charla Krupp
Publisher: Springboard Press
ISBN: 9781599959214
Category : FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
Languages : en
Pages : 410

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Book Description
The new style guide from the bestselling author of "How Not to Look Old" offers tips and tricks on how to look 10 pounds lighter, 10 years younger, and 10 times sexier every day, all year--without dieting. (Fashion/Grooming)

Ashley Longshore

Ashley Longshore PDF Author: Ashley Longshore
Publisher: Rizzoli Publications
ISBN: 0847866467
Category : Art
Languages : en
Pages : 170

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Book Description
New Orleans-based self-taught pop artist Ashley Longshore, known for her bold fashionista portraits and larger-than-life personality, has a massive art-cult following. I Do Not Cook, I Do Not Clean, I Do Not Fly Commercial highlights Ashley's colorful life story and showcases her bejeweled vibrant pop art. Ashley Longshore delivers exactly what her fans are clamoring for: a look at Ashley's big life, her audacious aphorisms, and of course her sumptuous, glittering art in sublime detail. Ashley Longshore's pop-art paintings are always daring; her art makes noise. On any given day, you may catch her in her New Orleans gallery painting with Blake Lively, talking art and fashion with Dapper Dan in New York, or on a remote island in Hawaii painting. A prolific artist, she has been compared to Andy Warhol for her passion with pop-culture figures; but it's her infectious personality and humorous real talk that has captured the hearts of and inspired her devoted fans. Ashley's story also peeks at her major blingy collaborations with brands such as Rolex; luxury cosmetics brand Clé de Peau; Veuve Clicquot; Chloé; Mark Cross; and Judith Leiber, to name only a few. Ashley Longshore tells the stories of the self-proclaimed "urban hippie" in glorious color and detail and features her works, collaborations, and her singular and authentic personality

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! PDF Author: Kate Kelly
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743288947
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 504

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Book Description
A revised and updated edition of the classic self-help book that has served as a lifeline to the millions of adults who have ADHD! With over a quarter million copies in print, You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! is one of the bestselling books on attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder ever written. There is a great deal of literature about children with ADHD, but what do you do if you have ADHD and aren't a child anymore? This indispensable reference—the first of its kind written for adults with ADHD by adults with ADHD—focuses on the experiences of adults, offering updated information, practical how-tos, and moral support to help readers deal with ADHD. It also explains the diagnostic process that distinguishes ADHD symptoms from normal lapses in memory, lack of concentration or impulsive behavior, offering guidance on how your reframe our view of ADHD and embrace its benefits. Here's what's new: The new ADHD medications and their effectiveness The effects of ADHD on human sexuality The differences between male and female ADHD—including falling estrogen levels and its impact on cognitive function The power of meditation ADHD coaching tricks and tips And the book still includes the tried-and-true advice about: Achieving balance by analyzing one's strengths and weaknesses Getting along in groups, at work and in intimate and family relationships—including how to decrease discord and chaos Learning the mechanics and methods for getting organized and improving memory Seeking professional help, including therapy and medication

The Big Sleep

The Big Sleep PDF Author: Raymond Chandler
Publisher: DigiCat
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 196

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Book Description
DigiCat Publishing presents to you this special edition of "The Big Sleep" by Raymond Chandler. DigiCat Publishing considers every written word to be a legacy of humankind. Every DigiCat book has been carefully reproduced for republishing in a new modern format. The books are available in print, as well as ebooks. DigiCat hopes you will treat this work with the acknowledgment and passion it deserves as a classic of world literature.

Thinner Than Thou

Thinner Than Thou PDF Author: Kit Reed
Publisher: Tor Books
ISBN: 1466827238
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 340

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Book Description
TV says it. Magazines say it. American society commands it. You must be thin. You must be young. Fad diets. Fat-purging pills. Fitness clubs. Liposuction. Breast implants. Steroids. In the tomorrow of Thinner Than Thou, the cult of the body has become the one true religion. The Dedicated Sisters are a religious order sworn to help anorexic, bulimic, and morbidly obese youth. Throughout the land, houses of worship have been replaced by the health clubs of the Crossed Triceps. And through hypnotically powerful evangelical infomercials, the Reverend Earl preaches the heaven of the Afterfat, where you will look like a Greek god and eat anything you want. Just sign over your life savings and come to Sylphania, the most luxurious weight-loss spa in the world, where the Reverend himself will personally supervise your attainment of physical perfection. But the glory of youth and thinness that America worships conceals a hidden world where teens train for the competitive eating circuit, where fat porn and obese strippers feed people's dark desires, and where an underground railroad of rebellious religions remember when people worshipped God instead of the Afterfat. As Annie, an anorexic, and her friend Kelly, who is so massive she can barely walk, find out, the tender promises of the Dedicated Sisters are fulfilled by forced feedings and enforced starvation in hidden prisons. As middle-aged Jeremy discovers, Sylphania is a concentration camp where failure to lose weight and tone up leads to brutal punishment. The Rev. Earl's public sympathy for the overweight conceals a private contempt . . . and, beneath that, a terrible longing known only to a select few. The inevitable decay of old age is the only thing keeping mankind from reaching perfection. Luckily, Reverend Earl has a plan that will take care of that . . . . At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Too Fat to Fish

Too Fat to Fish PDF Author: Artie Lange
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0385526571
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 354

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Book Description
Outrageous, raw, and painfully funny true stories straight from the life of the actor, comedian, and much-loved cast member of The Howard Stern Show—with a foreword by Howard Stern. When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show’s move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting. A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for—sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction: He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was eighteen and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics. True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn’t have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie’s never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio. Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, Too Fat to Fish is Artie Lange giving everything he’s got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.