Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road? and Other Scottish Jokes PDF Download
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Author: Stuart McLean
Publisher: Crombie Jardine Publishing
ISBN: 1906051348
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 68
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Book Description
When the Scots tell a joke it's usually at their own expense. So this collection of gems pokes fun at just about everyone and everything from kilts and haggis through footie and thriftiness to Sassenachs, Teeries, and Glaswegians. Some of the jokes are old favourites retold, some are brand new, and some are a few specimens found on that internet thingy which have been massaged to make them almost funny.
Author: Stuart McLean
Publisher: Crombie Jardine Publishing
ISBN: 1906051348
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 68
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Book Description
When the Scots tell a joke it's usually at their own expense. So this collection of gems pokes fun at just about everyone and everything from kilts and haggis through footie and thriftiness to Sassenachs, Teeries, and Glaswegians. Some of the jokes are old favourites retold, some are brand new, and some are a few specimens found on that internet thingy which have been massaged to make them almost funny.
Author: Stuart McLean
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781906051266
Category : Scottish wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 160
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Book Description
This little book doesn't merely poke fun at Sassenachs, Glaswegians, Aberdonians, Dundonians and Teeries. No, it manages to have a go at everyone. From kilts and haggis to whisky, footie and thriftiness, this hilarious collection of Scottish jokes is a Nevis of Laughs. XXXXXA Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Scotsman shouts, "Awa ye eijit, can ye no tell that's a foo o coos keich?!" (Translated: Begone you idiot, can't you tell it's full of cow shit?!) The man shouts back, "I'm English. Speak English, I don't understand you!" To which the Scotsman wholeheartedly responds, "Use both hands, you'll get more in." XXXX Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous. At a U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he slowly started to clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet... "Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"
Author: Crombie Jardine
Publisher: Crombie Jardine Publishing
ISBN: 1906051631
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 107
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Book Description
A celebration of Scottish history, from pre-200 up until 2011. Comprehensive and compact, this book contains all the key dates and names that make Scotland so great. Factual, but written in a light-hearted way, this is a guide to Scotland's bloody and glorious past, highlighting the contribution that inventive Scots have made to the world we know today. Updated edition of the 2005 original publication.
Author: Arthur James Wells
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Bibliography, National
Languages : en
Pages : 1922
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Book Description
Author: Sue Townsend
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0060533994
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 274
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Book Description
Adrian Mole's first love, Pandora, has left him; a neighbor, Mr. Lucas, appears to be seducing his mother (and what does that mean for his father?); the BBC refuses to publish his poetry; and his dog swallowed the tree off the Christmas cake. "Why" indeed.
Author: Cat Harvey
Publisher: Black & White Publishing Ltd
ISBN: 1785303694
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 288
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Book Description
In 2014 she said: 'I'm NEVER doing Breakfast Radio ever again.' Now she's back. So, what made journalist, presenter, playwright and all-round lovable rascal Cat Harvey rejoin the broadcasting enigma that is Ewen Cameron? Was it the pandemic? The closure of theatres? Or was it the simple fact that she needed a laugh? In CAT'S OUT THE BAG, Cat answers all these questions and more! She spills the beans on the behind-the-scenes antics on one of Scotland's favourite radio shows. There's dancing on the kitchen table with a global superstar at 3 a.m., Ewen's traffic-stopping prank and THAT rumour of a night of passion with a Rolling Stone. It's a world where hilarity is mandatory, nonsense is encouraged, and everyone is welcome. Side-splittingly funny, insightful, poignant and ultimately uplifting in a world of gloom, this is the banter we all need. 'I think it's quite sweet she's spent years trying to find my house.' - Marti Pellow 'I first met them when I was 17. Cat said I'd be a superstar. Ewen said I'd never make it. Cat has always been my favourite.' - Amy MacDonald
Author: Patrick O'Brian
Publisher: HarperCollins UK
ISBN: 000725590X
Category : Aubrey, Jack (Fictitious character)
Languages : en
Pages : 386
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Book Description
Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey-Maturin tales are widely acknowledged to be the greatest series of historical novels ever written. Now these evocative stories are being re-issued in paperback by Harper Perennial with stunning new jackets.
Author: Janet Schaw
Publisher: Applewood Books
ISBN: 1429016949
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 366
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Book Description
Alexander and Janet Schaw, Scottish siblings, began a journey in 1774 that would take them from Edinburgh to the Caribbean Islands and then to America. Part of the early wave of Scottish colonization, the pair visited family and friends who had already established themselves in the colonies. ""Journal of a Lady of Quality"" is Janet Schaw's account of this voyage through letters to a friend in Scotland. The letters describe the sights, scenery, and social life she encountered, but they also reveal the political atmosphere of an America on the verge of revolution. Stephen Carl Arch provides a new introduction for this Bison Books edition.
Author: Sam Heughan
Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton
ISBN: 1529372194
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 406
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Book Description
A seasonal meander through the wilds of Scotland. 'If Clanlands was a gentle road trip through Scotland, this almanac is a top down, pedal to the metal up and down odyssey through the many byways of a Scottish year. An invitation to anyone who picks up the book to join us on a crazy camper van exploration over 12 glorious, whisky fuelled months. Mountains, battles, famous (and infamous) Scots, the alarming competitiveness of Men in Kilts, clans, feuds, flora, fauna, with a healthy sprinkling of embarrassing personal reminiscences thrown in. Much is explored, all is shared. It is a camper van cornucopia of all things Alba'. From First Footing to Samhain, Fringe Festival follies to whisky lore, Sam & Graham guide readers through a year of Scottish legends, traditions, historical and contemporary events, sharing personal stories and tips as only these two chalk-and-cheese friends can. As entertaining as it is practical, The Clanlands Almanac is a light-hearted education in Scottish history and culture, told through the eyes of two passionate Scotsmen. The perfect escapist guide, The Clanlands Almanac is intended as a starting point for your own Scottish discoveries.
Author: Chris Findlater
Publisher: Waverley Books Limited
ISBN: 9781902407821
Category : Scotland
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Scottish Jokes takes an irreverent view of Scotland and the Scots, and pokes fun, in a light-hearted way, at a nation renowned for its sense of humour - because it is free!
