Yiddishe Mamas

Yiddishe Mamas PDF Author: Marnie Winston-Macauley
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740788892
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 388

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Book Description
The Jewish mother feels her job isn't done even after death. You're never too dead to be a Jewish mother." --Mallory Lewis, daughter of Shari Lewis * What do Steven Spielberg, Woody Allen, Barbra Streisand, Jon Stewart, Bette Midler, and Natalie Portman have in common with this book? A Jewish mother. Is there such a thing as a Jewish mother? And if so, who is she? For the first time, best-selling Jewish author and humorist Marnie Winston-Macauley examines all aspects of the Jewish mother. Chronicling biblical Jewish mothers to modern-day Yentls, she creates a compendium using celebrity interviews, anecdotes, humor, and scholarly sources to answer these questions with truth and humor. * Contributors to the book range from Dr. Ruth Gruber and Rabbi Bonnie Koppel to Jackie Mason, Amy Borkowsky, John Stossel, Lainie Kazan, and more. * "The definitive source on Jewish mothers." --Eileen Warshaw, Ph.D., executive director of the Jewish Heritage Center of the Southwest

Amy's Answering Machine

Amy's Answering Machine PDF Author: Amy Borkowsky
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743444574
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 136

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Book Description
Does your mother call you in a panic whenever there's a storm warning for your area? Does she act as though it's her duty to alert you to every health story on the news? Have you ever been briefly out of touch with your mother only to find she's phoned everyone short of the National Guard to track you down -- or, just maybe, are you that mother? Take comfort in knowing you're not alone, as Amy Borkowsky shares more than a decade's worth of maddening phone messages from her hilariously overprotective mom. Based on the hit CD of the same name, Amy's Answering Machine features actual messages in which Amy's mom warns her not to wear a red bathrobe because a friend's grandson "said that red is a gang color"...advises her not to get a cat because "what if you finally found a nice guy and he was allergic?"...cautions her not to wear crepe-soled shoes because "they were just saying on the news that if you're ever in a plane crash, crepe is no good if you have to go down the slide." Amy also reveals the stories behind the messages and shares calls not available on CD, each one brimming with the worry and annoying comments only a loving mother could dish out. The same warnings and suggestions that had Amy cringing are sure to have you doubled over with laughter. But before you turn the page, take some advice from Amy's mom: Make sure you have plenty of reading light, because squinting causes crow's feet.

The Ultimate Answering Machine Message Book

The Ultimate Answering Machine Message Book PDF Author: Marnie Winston-Macauley
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780836232257
Category : Telephone answering and recording apparatus
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description


Based on a True Story

Based on a True Story PDF Author: Norm Macdonald
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0812993632
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 245

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Book Description
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Driving, wild and hilarious” (The Washington Post), here is the incredible “memoir” of the legendary actor, gambler, raconteur, and Saturday Night Live veteran. When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”

Yiddishe Mamas

Yiddishe Mamas PDF Author: Marnie Winston-Macauley
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740788892
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 388

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Book Description
The Jewish mother feels her job isn't done even after death. You're never too dead to be a Jewish mother." --Mallory Lewis, daughter of Shari Lewis * What do Steven Spielberg, Woody Allen, Barbra Streisand, Jon Stewart, Bette Midler, and Natalie Portman have in common with this book? A Jewish mother. Is there such a thing as a Jewish mother? And if so, who is she? For the first time, best-selling Jewish author and humorist Marnie Winston-Macauley examines all aspects of the Jewish mother. Chronicling biblical Jewish mothers to modern-day Yentls, she creates a compendium using celebrity interviews, anecdotes, humor, and scholarly sources to answer these questions with truth and humor. * Contributors to the book range from Dr. Ruth Gruber and Rabbi Bonnie Koppel to Jackie Mason, Amy Borkowsky, John Stossel, Lainie Kazan, and more. * "The definitive source on Jewish mothers." --Eileen Warshaw, Ph.D., executive director of the Jewish Heritage Center of the Southwest

You Have Seven Messages

You Have Seven Messages PDF Author: Stewart Lewis
Publisher: Ember
ISBN: 0385740298
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 306

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Book Description
A smart, heartbreaking mystery about unexpected love, art, family, and finding yourself. It's been a year since Luna's mother, the fashion-model wife of a successful film director, was hit and killed by a taxi in New York's East Village. Luna, her father, and little brother are still struggling with grief. But when Luna goes to clean out her mother's old studio, she's stunned to find her mom's old cell phone there—charged and holding seven unheard messages. As Luna begins to listen, she learns more about her mother's life than she ever wanted to know . . . because the tidy tale she's been told about her mother's death may not be the whole truth. With the help of Oliver, the musically gifted boy next door, Luna won't stop until she finds answers. But what else will she find along the way?

The Greatest Answering Machine Messages of All Time

The Greatest Answering Machine Messages of All Time PDF Author: John Carfi
Publisher: CCC Publishing
ISBN: 9780918259547
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 132

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Book Description


A Little Joy, A Little Oy

A Little Joy, A Little Oy PDF Author: Marnie Winston-Macauley
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740789465
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 336

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Book Description
"To me, the Jews are funnier than any other group. Why? Because they have had more trouble. And trouble is often the heart of humor."-- Steve Allen (who is not Jewish) from A Little Joy, A Little Oy Not just a slice of Jewish wit and wisdom, this collection is the whole challah*. By including over 350 entries from 200 sources, Winston-Macauley has amassed a unique cross-section of Jewish quotes, anecdotes, proverbs, history, biographies, jokes, unusual facts, "Yinglish," and much more. A Little Joy, A Little Oy showcases this rich and remarkable assembly of all things Jewish through the universal language of laughter and, yes, a few tears. A must in every Jewish household, A Little Joy, A Little Oy also makes the perfect holiday gift. *A rich twisted bread

Psycho-phone Messages

Psycho-phone Messages PDF Author: Francis Grierson
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Spirit writings
Languages : en
Pages : 108

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Book Description


Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close PDF Author: Jonathan Safran Foer
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 9780618329700
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 372

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Book Description
Jonathan Safran Foer emerged as one of the most original writers of his generation with his best-selling debut novel, Everything Is Illuminated. Now, with humor, tenderness, and awe, he confronts the traumas of our recent history. What he discovers is solace in that most human quality, imagination. Meet Oskar Schell, an inventor, Francophile, tambourine player, Shakespearean actor, jeweler, pacifist, correspondent with Stephen Hawking and Ringo Starr. He is nine years old. And he is on an urgent, secret search through the five boroughs of New York. His mission is to find the lock that fits a mysterious key belonging to his father, who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11. An inspired innocent, Oskar is alternately endearing, exasperating, and hilarious as he careens from Central Park to Coney Island to Harlem on his search. Along the way he is always dreaming up inventions to keep those he loves safe from harm. What about a birdseed shirt to let you fly away? What if you could actually hear everyone's heartbeat? His goal is hopeful, but the past speaks a loud warning in stories of those who've lost loved ones before. As Oskar roams New York, he encounters a motley assortment of humanity who are all survivors in their own way. He befriends a 103-year-old war reporter, a tour guide who never leaves the Empire State Building, and lovers enraptured or scorned. Ultimately, Oskar ends his journey where it began, at his father's grave. But now he is accompanied by the silent stranger who has been renting the spare room of his grandmother's apartment. They are there to dig up his father's empty coffin.

Passage

Passage PDF Author: Connie Willis
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0307573729
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 802

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Book Description
One of those rare, unforgettable novels that are as chilling as they are insightful, as thought-provoking as they are terrifying, award-winning author Connie Willis's Passage is an astonishing blend of relentless suspense and cutting-edge science unlike anything you've ever read before. It is the electrifying story of a psychologist who has devoted her life to tracking death. But when she volunteers for a research project that simulates the near-death experience, she will either solve life's greatest mystery -- or fall victim to its greatest terror. At Mercy General Hospital, Dr. Joanna Lander will soon be paged -- not to save a life, but to interview a patient just back from the dead. A psychologist specializing in near-death experiences, Joanna has spent two years recording the experiences of those who have been declared clinically dead and lived to tell about it. It's research on the fringes of ordinary science, but Joanna is about to get a boost from an unexpected quarter. A new doctor has arrived at Mercy General, one with the power to give Joanna the chance to get as close to death as anyone can. A brilliant young neurologist, Dr. Richard Wright has come up with a way to manufacture the near-death experience using a psychoactive drug. Dr. Wright is convinced that the NDE is a survival mechanism and that if only doctors understood how it worked, they could someday delay the dying process, or maybe even reverse it. He can use the expertise of a psychologist of Joanna Lander's standing to lend credibility to his study. But he soon needs Joanna for more than just her reputation. When his key volunteer suddenly drops out of the study, Joanna finds herself offering to become Richard's next subject. After all, who better than she, a trained psychologist, to document the experience? Her first NDE is as fascinating as she imagined it would be -- so astounding that she knows she must go back, if only to find out why this place is so hauntingly familiar. But each time Joanna goes under, her sense of dread begins to grow, because part of her already knows why the experience is so familiar, and why she has every reason to be afraid.... And just when you think you know where she is going, Willis throws in the biggest surprise of all -- a shattering scenario that will keep you feverishly reading until the final climactic page is turned.