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Author: Nicholas Knights
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1448132630
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 194
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Book Description
WARNING: This book contains laugh-out-loud jokes about fake tans, vajazzles and all fings Essex Forget the Rolex or the flash car, what you really need in your life to make your friends well jel is The Essex Joke Book. It’s packed full of bling-tastic banter, racy rib-ticklers and gob-smackingly good gags all about Essex Girls and Boys, their tans and tribulations, conquests and cock-ups, and more. How can you tell an Essex Girl has been using her iPad? There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen. What do you call the skeleton of an Essex Boy in a wardrobe? Last year’s hide-and-seek champion. What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? An Essex Girl doing naked cartwheels. An Essex Girl gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. ‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says. ‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says. ‘Why?’ asks the Essex Girl. The boy says: ‘Because I’m the f**king goalkeeper.’
Author: Nicholas Knights
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1448132630
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 194
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Book Description
WARNING: This book contains laugh-out-loud jokes about fake tans, vajazzles and all fings Essex Forget the Rolex or the flash car, what you really need in your life to make your friends well jel is The Essex Joke Book. It’s packed full of bling-tastic banter, racy rib-ticklers and gob-smackingly good gags all about Essex Girls and Boys, their tans and tribulations, conquests and cock-ups, and more. How can you tell an Essex Girl has been using her iPad? There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen. What do you call the skeleton of an Essex Boy in a wardrobe? Last year’s hide-and-seek champion. What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? An Essex Girl doing naked cartwheels. An Essex Girl gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. ‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says. ‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says. ‘Why?’ asks the Essex Girl. The boy says: ‘Because I’m the f**king goalkeeper.’
Author: Ray Leigh
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 80
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Book Description
Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781478264644
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106
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Book Description
If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Essex Girl jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Essex Girl Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Essex Girl Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Essex Girl joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Essex Girl jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Essex Girls wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Essex Girl and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Essex Girl brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Essex Girl who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Essex Girls laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***
Author: Sarah Perry
Publisher: Serpent's Tail
ISBN: 178283821X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 56
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Book Description
'Not all Essex girls are party girls. They can be sages, martyrs, leaders. In her neat and provocative little book, Sarah Perry celebrates their courage and vivacity.' Hilary Mantel A defence and celebration of the Essex Girl by the best-selling author of The Essex Serpent Essex Girls are disreputable, disrespectful and disobedient. They speak out of turn, too loudly and too often, in an accent irritating to the ruling classes. Their bodies are hyper-sexualised and irredeemably vulgar. They are given to intricate and voluble squabbling. They do not apologise for any of this. And why should they? In this exhilarating feminist defence of the Essex girl, Sarah Perry re-examines her relationship with her much maligned home county. She summons its most unquiet spirits, from Protestant martyr Rose Allin to the indomitable Abolitionist Anne Knight, sitting them alongside Audre Lorde, Kim Kardashian and Harriet Martineau, and showing us that the Essex girl is not bound by geography. She is a type, representing a very particular kind of female agency, and a very particular kind of disdain: she contains a multitude of women, and it is time to celebrate them.
Author: Maureen Clarke
Publisher: Hillcrest Publishing Group
ISBN: 1938223454
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 208
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Book Description
"Don't be afraid of her," old Jim Peterson softly said to Nick Jennings from his room in the nursing home. "She's just waiting for me." Nick has just purchased the Peterson property, a secluded cabin tucked into the Midwest farming landscape, to complete his novel and repair his betrayed heart. Soon after he moves in, Nick discovers that he is sharing his house with the light spirit of Molly Ross, Jim Peterson's lover who died in a car accident over thirty years ago. She lingers, waiting for Jim to join her in death. Love's Sweet Haunting follows Nick as he settles into his haunted haven and resists falling in love again. The depth of Molly and Jim's love is revealed by way of flashbacks induced by unexplained happenings in the house. The heart-wrenching climax confirms that love endures beyond the grave.
Author: Stephen Arnott
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0091897653
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 578
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Book Description
Aimed at anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. This work organises the jokes thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, and more.
Author: Ray Leigh
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780552139304
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 80
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Book Description
Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781477609637
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106
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Book Description
If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Grave Digger jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Grave Digger Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Grave Digger Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Grave Digger joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Grave Digger jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Grave Diggers wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Grave Digger and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Grave Digger brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Grave Digger who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Grave Diggers laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***
Author: Jonathan Swan
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0091913691
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 578
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Book Description
Man Walks Into A Bar 2 is the second volume of the hugely popular joke series. A one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns,
Author: Christie Davies
Publisher: Walter de Gruyter
ISBN: 3110806142
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 244
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Book Description
