The Art of Demotivation

The Art of Demotivation PDF Author: E. L. Kersten
Publisher: Despair Inc
ISBN: 9781892503404
Category : Political Science
Languages : en
Pages : 243

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Book Description
Motivation has become a multi-billion dollar industry, courtesy of the patronage of corporations and the noble intentions of Executives who lead them. At the heart of this colossal confederation of inspirational speakers, platitudinous posters, parable-filled management books, and increasingly complicated incentive programs lies an alluring promise: that with enough encouragement, empowerment, and esteem, employees will become productive and loyal, to the benefit of both their employers and themselves.Yet, in spite of the staggering expenditures on packaged esteem, polls show that worker morale has reached critical lows, with a majority of employees even claiming to hate their jobs. How is this possible? And more importantly, what can Executives do about this crisis of employee dissatisfaction?In this revolutionary new management book, Despair, Inc.® founder Dr. E. L. Kersten plumbs the depths of employee discontent to find its root cause. Though most live lackluster lives filled with wasted opportunities and trivial accomplishments, employees grow ever more certain of their enormous worth and glorious destinies. Why is this so? Because most are the products of a narcissistic age, the spiritual casualties of a grand social experiment gone terribly awry.Ironically, managers attempting to motivate employees by increasing their self-esteem only compound the very problem they seek to solve.Reinforcing employee delusions of grandeur only increases their irrational sense of entitlement to the wealth, stature and privilege that justice dictates be reserved for the truly accomplished and inarguably worthy: namely, Executives.With The Art of Demotivation former professor and current executive Kersten offers not only a comprehensive analysis of the problem but a prescriptive solution; one grounded not in the fantasies of infinite human potential so often advanced by the motivation industry, but in the grim realities of a broken world. Managers who seek a productive, loyal workforce must first liberate employees from the prison cells of their narcissism by forcing them to confront that which they expend enormous energy to avoid:their true selves.

The Art of Demotivation

The Art of Demotivation PDF Author: E. L. Kersten
Publisher: Despair Inc
ISBN: 9781892503404
Category : Political Science
Languages : en
Pages : 243

Get Book Here

Book Description
Motivation has become a multi-billion dollar industry, courtesy of the patronage of corporations and the noble intentions of Executives who lead them. At the heart of this colossal confederation of inspirational speakers, platitudinous posters, parable-filled management books, and increasingly complicated incentive programs lies an alluring promise: that with enough encouragement, empowerment, and esteem, employees will become productive and loyal, to the benefit of both their employers and themselves.Yet, in spite of the staggering expenditures on packaged esteem, polls show that worker morale has reached critical lows, with a majority of employees even claiming to hate their jobs. How is this possible? And more importantly, what can Executives do about this crisis of employee dissatisfaction?In this revolutionary new management book, Despair, Inc.® founder Dr. E. L. Kersten plumbs the depths of employee discontent to find its root cause. Though most live lackluster lives filled with wasted opportunities and trivial accomplishments, employees grow ever more certain of their enormous worth and glorious destinies. Why is this so? Because most are the products of a narcissistic age, the spiritual casualties of a grand social experiment gone terribly awry.Ironically, managers attempting to motivate employees by increasing their self-esteem only compound the very problem they seek to solve.Reinforcing employee delusions of grandeur only increases their irrational sense of entitlement to the wealth, stature and privilege that justice dictates be reserved for the truly accomplished and inarguably worthy: namely, Executives.With The Art of Demotivation former professor and current executive Kersten offers not only a comprehensive analysis of the problem but a prescriptive solution; one grounded not in the fantasies of infinite human potential so often advanced by the motivation industry, but in the grim realities of a broken world. Managers who seek a productive, loyal workforce must first liberate employees from the prison cells of their narcissism by forcing them to confront that which they expend enormous energy to avoid:their true selves.

You're Not As Good As You Think You Are

You're Not As Good As You Think You Are PDF Author: Chris Gudgeon
Publisher: arsenal pulp press
ISBN: 9781551520407
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 120

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Book Description
"You're Not as Good as You Think You Are" offers a user-friendly guide to building a less significant you. Each chapter provides theory, life examples, and valuable mental exercises designed to help readers hone their self-effacing skills as they strive to be the least that they can be. 25 line drawings.

The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Pharmacists

The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Pharmacists PDF Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781484814420
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

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Book Description
If you're looking to gain respect from your employees, increase your income and get more out of your friends, for you, The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Pharmacists is the book you're looking for. While The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Pharmacists appears to be parody of motivational books, many employers have used this book to get their employees to work harder and increase their standing in the community. Rather than showing you ways to motivate your employees so they'll want to work harder, this book show you how to use fear and intimidation to MAKE them work harder, and ensure that your friends give you the respect you think you deserve. Some of the ways you can use demotivation to get what you want include: *** Every Pharmacist knows that meetings are a complete waste of time. Make yourself more efficient by turning up at every meeting fifteen minutes late, leaving early, and popping in and out while it's in progress. *** Maintain the distance between yourself, the Pharmacist, and your friends by never smiling or saying hello to anybody. While this may appear rude, it's better than having to deal with their problems. *** Nobody gets a better deal at restaurants than Pharmacists. Before dividing up the bill, calculate your share and work out if it's cheaper to split the bill evenly, or for everybody to pay their own share. Do this every time to save the maximum amount possible. *** Install phones in every bathroom stall and above the urinals so your employees can continue working while they do their business. ***

The Best Ever Book of Cyclist Jokes

The Best Ever Book of Cyclist Jokes PDF Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781478119494
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

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Book Description
If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Cyclist jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Cyclist Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Cyclist Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Cyclist joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Cyclist jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Cyclists wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Cyclist and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Cyclist brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Cyclist who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Cyclists laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Give Up

Give Up PDF Author: Paul Koehorst
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1569758042
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 168

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Book Description
Do sugar-coated lies and cliché photos actually motivate you to do better? Of course not! If you want to get ahead in life, you need to know how things really work. You need posters that reveal the cold, hard truth. You need to be demotivated. By offering demotivational messages accompanied by ridiculous images, the author turns the motivational message upside down with very funny results. Faux versions of the kitschy motivational poster are already a wildly popular Internet phenomenon, but never have they been done with such savage humor as in this book. The author offers a variety of entertaining options, such as a baseball player eating dirt while missing a fly ball paired with the caption "Humiliation: There's no Point Trying, You Just Look Ridiculous." Another poster pairs a distressed surgeon with, "Failure: Sometimes it is a Matter of Life and Death."

The Stay Interview

The Stay Interview PDF Author: Richard Finnegan
Publisher: AMACOM
ISBN: 0814436501
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 142

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Book Description
Of all the obstacles and surprises managers know are heading their way each day, the one they least anticipate and prepare for is the resignation of a seemingly happy and extremely valued employee. It’s the cement truck they never saw coming their way--but they could have.This invaluable resource introduces managers to a powerful new engagement and retention tool that they absolutely must begin utilizing ASAP: the stay interview. Smart companies and managers who have realized the importance of being proactive with their employees and not taking anything for granted have begun conducting these periodic reviews in order to discover why their important talent might leave and to solve any problems before they actually quit.Written by the retention expert who pioneered the process, The Stay Interview shows managers how to: • Prepare for the stay interview• Anticipate an employee's top issues• Respond to difficult questions• Listen effectively and dig deeper• Craft a detailed and effective stay plan complete with timeline• Assess each employee's level of engagement, predict potential exits, and communicate results to upper managementWhen you have the right people in place, you can’t risk losing them. Complete with the five best questions to ask and sample scripts for different situations, The Stay Interview provides the key to saving yourself unnecessary headaches and surprises.

The Best Ever Book of Arsenal Jokes

The Best Ever Book of Arsenal Jokes PDF Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781478331667
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

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Book Description
If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Arsenal jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Arsenal Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Arsenal Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Arsenal joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Arsenal Fan jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Arsenal Fans wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured an Arsenal Fan and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Arsenal Fan brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Arsenal Fan who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Arsenal Fans laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

High Performance in Hospital Management

High Performance in Hospital Management PDF Author: Edda Weimann
Publisher: Springer
ISBN: 3662496607
Category : Medical
Languages : en
Pages : 234

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Book Description
This book provides a broad overview of what is needed to run hospitals and other health care facilities effectively and efficiently. All of the skills and tools required to achieve this aim are elucidated in the book, including business engineering and change management, strategic planning and the Balanced Scorecard, project management, integrative innovation management, social and ethical aspects of human resource management, communication and conflict management, staff development and leadership. The guidance offered is exceptional and applicable in both developed and developing countries. Furthermore, the relevant theoretical background is outlined and instructive case reports are included. Each chapter finishes with a summary and five reflective questions. Excellence can only be achieved when health care professionals show in addition to their medical skills a high level of managerial competence. High performance in Hospital Management assists managers of health care providers as well as doctors and nurses to engage in the successful management of a health care facility.

Results

Results PDF Author: Bruce A. Pasternack
Publisher: Crown Business
ISBN: 0307337316
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 256

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Book Description
Every company has a personality. Does yours help or hinder your results? Does it make you fit for growth? Find out by taking the quiz that’s helped 50,000 people better understand their organizations at OrgDNA.com and to learn more about Organizational DNA. Just as you can understand an individual’s personality, so too can you understand a company’s type—what makes it tick, what’s good and bad about it. Results explains why some organizations bob and weave and roll with the punches to consistently deliver on commitments and produce great results, while others can’t leave their corner of the ring without tripping on their own shoelaces. Gary Neilson and Bruce Pasternack help you identify which of the seven company types you work for—and how to keep what’s good and fix what’s wrong. You’ll feel the shock of recognition (“That’s me, that’s my company”) as you find out whether your organization is: • Passive-Aggressive (“everyone agrees, smiles, and nods, but nothing changes”): entrenched underground resistance makes getting anything done like trying to nail Jell-O to the wall • Fits-and-Starts (“let 1,000 flowers bloom”): filled with smart people pulling in different directions • Outgrown (“the good old days meet a brave new world”): reacts slowly to market developments, since it’s too hard to run new ideas up the flagpole • Overmanaged (“we’re from corporate and we’re here to help”): more reporting than working, as managers check on their subordinates’ work so they can in turn report to their bosses • Just-in-Time (“succeeding, but by the skin of our teeth”): can turn on a dime and create real breakthroughs but also tends to burn out its best and brightest • Military Precision (“flying in formation”): executes brilliant strategies but usually does not deal well with events not in the playbook • Resilient (“as good as it gets”): flexible, forward-looking, and fun; bounces back when it hits a bump in the road and never, ever rests on its laurels For anyone who’s ever said, “Wow, that’s a great idea, but it’ll never happen here” or “Whew, we pulled it off again, but I’m tired of all this sprinting,” Results provides robust, practical ideas for becoming and remaining a resilient business. Also available as an eBook From the Hardcover edition.

The Grumpy Guide to Life

The Grumpy Guide to Life PDF Author: Grumpy Cat
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 1452140820
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 116

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Book Description
In a world filled with inspirational know-it-alls and quotable blowhards, only one figure is indifferent enough to tell the cranky truth: Grumpy Cat. Following the success of her New York Times bestselling debut, everyone's favorite disgruntled feline is back with this demotivational guide to everyday life, love, friendship, and more. Featuring many new photos of Grumpy Cat's famous frown and packed with uninspiring observations, The Grumpy Guide to Life will help anyone get in touch with their inner grouch.