Santa Claus Heard a Fart

Santa Claus Heard a Fart PDF Author: Olaf Falafel
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
ISBN: 9780008357955
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description

Santa Claus Heard a Fart

Santa Claus Heard a Fart PDF Author: Olaf Falafel
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
ISBN: 9780008357955
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description


Ijamama Speaks: Wisdom of a Black Sistah from the Urban Hood

Ijamama Speaks: Wisdom of a Black Sistah from the Urban Hood PDF Author: Frederick Douglas Harper
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1524592560
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 322

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Book Description
Ijamama Speaks is a hilarious satire. Ijamama is a woman from the urban Hood who is accidentally discovered by a feminist magazine, Hot Heifer, after she stood up to a sexist law that allowed men to be topless in public but not women. A published interview of Ijamama in Hot Heifer magazine leads to her cohosting a feminist, late-night TV show, and eventually getting her own late-night TV show, The Ijamama Tell-It-Like-It-Is Midnight Show, targeted to urban blacks, college students, and working-class women. Although very funny, Ijamama Speaks presents meaningful lessons about rightful living and quality living through dialogues of host Ijamama with her diverse TV guests. Some of her guests include Celibate Dude, Lead Belly, Benevolent Angel, Smart-Ass White Boy, Dr. Fartenstein, PumpDaddy, Spiritual Teacher, Bootylicious Queens, Preacher-Teacher, Little Red Rapper from da Hood, and HoneyBaby.

When Santa Fell to Earth

When Santa Fell to Earth PDF Author: Cornelia Funke
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 054541511X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 182

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Book Description
A crash-landing puts Christmas in peril in this quirky, funny, and heartwarming holiday classic from the New York Times–bestselling author of Inkheart. Scared by a storm, Twinklestar, the least reliable reindeer, bolts—causing Santa and his sleigh to crash-land. And though Santa has dropped into a friendly neighborhood, he’s not safe: Jeremiah Goblynch, the ruthless new leader of the Council of Yuleland, is determined to put an end to children’s wishes and turn the holiday season into his own personal moneymaking scheme. As the last REAL St. Nick around, only Santa stands between Goblynch and his grinchlike plan. With the help and hope of kids Charlotte and Ben, Santa must face Goblynch and his Nutcracker goons to save Christmas! “Wonderfully imaginative details, adventure, danger, and a brave young Santa who fights to preserve all that is magical and special about Christmas make this a perfect read over a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night.” —School Library Journal “The humor, plus some unusual character types, sets this apart from the general run of holiday tales.” —Kirkus Reviews

Old MacDonald Heard a Fart

Old MacDonald Heard a Fart PDF Author: Derek Landy
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
ISBN: 9780008242794
Category : Children's stories
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description
"Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.

Santa Claus

Santa Claus PDF Author: Todd Graham
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1532061056
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 424

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Book Description
Christmas has been under attack for years, thanks to the evil Ice Queen and her mother, Emma Frostbite, the Empress of the North. With the power of a troll army and Nutcracker war machine behind them, the Queen and her mother have now set their sights on the last remaining Christmas stronghold, the twin cities of Feliz and Navidad. Now that Christmas bells, songs, and the spirit have been taken away for good, this just may be the end of Christmas in the world. Sixteen-year-old orphan Nicholas Claus isn’t about to let this happen. Fueled by an indomitable Christmas spirit, Nicholas embarks on a quest to seek help from a mysterious woman called Christmas Carol, stop the Ice Queen, and hopefully restore Christmas to its ultimate glory. While following clues hidden in a special snow globe, he is joined by allies as they attempt to find Christmas Carol and battle forces bent on destroying the holiday. As Nicholas and his friends set out on a hero’s mission to Tannenbaum, Feliz, Navidad, and the North Pole, he has no idea that his journey is about to lead him to receive the best Christmas gift ever. Santa Claus: The First Noel continues the tale of a young man’s quest to save Christmas from the destructive claws of an evil Ice Queen and her frosty mother.

Caring Is Creepy

Caring Is Creepy PDF Author: David Zimmerman
Publisher: Soho Press
ISBN: 156947978X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 273

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Book Description
Fifteen-year-old Lynn Marie Sugrue is doing her best to make it through a difficult summer. Her mother works long hours as a nurse, and Lynn suspects that her mother’s pill-popping boyfriend has enlisted her in his petty criminal enterprises. Lynn finds refuge in online flirtations, eventually meeting up with a troubled young soldier, Logan Loy, and inviting him home. When he’s forced to stay over in a storage space accessible through her closet, and the Army subsequently lists him as AWOL, she realizes that he’s the one thing in her life that she can control. Meanwhile, her mother’s boyfriend is on the receiving end of a series of increasingly violent threats, which places Lynn squarely in the cross-hairs.

Over 2000 and Some Odd Reasons 'Not' to Marry Your Mate

Over 2000 and Some Odd Reasons 'Not' to Marry Your Mate PDF Author: Otha R. Johnson
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 0595140335
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 154

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Book Description
How many of you have been dating someone when you're asked the uncomfortable question, "So when are you two going to get married?" You may stumble around for an answer while your mind is rolling down an endless list of reasons you'd like to give. This book is for the single, the dating and the married alike; basically for anyone who's ever dated or even thought about it. Marriage is not a subject to be taken lightly, but this book may beg to differ. If you think you've thought of every reason NOT to get married—think again. Whether you're on a first date, have been dating for years, or are living together with a wedding date set, here is a fun list of over 2000 reasons that people have given for not getting hitched. book is meant to be fun reading and NOT to be taken seriously

The California Kid

The California Kid PDF Author: Owen Hanson
Publisher: Turner Publishing Company
ISBN: 1684420539
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 183

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Book Description
You’ve read the shocking one-sided tale of international drug kingpin Owen Hanson in Rolling Stone, VICE, and the LA Times—but now he’s ready to tell his side of the story. A surfer kid from California, Owen Hanson was still in his 20s when he found himself the leader of a multimillion-dollar criminal empire. What began as an attempt to fit in with the rich kids at the University of Southern California soon grew into gambling and loan sharking, which then opened the door to drug trafficking and money laundering. Hanson wasn’t just involved in this stuff—he excelled at it. Living the fast-paced lifestyle of the rich and famous, Hanson felt he was finally making his father proud, never mind the questionable ethics and obvious danger of it all. But with the cartel, a serious drug-abuse problem, and the pursuit of the FBI all threatening to overtake him, it wouldn't be long before his glamorous lifestyle caught up with him. The California Kid follows Owen from his roots as a USC star athlete from a broken home, where his idolization of the rich and famous began, to his descent down a dangerous path where he would stop at nothing to earn the love and acceptance of his absent mother and the respect of his father. The story that follows is almost too wild to believe—but Owen bears the 21-year sentence to prove it.

I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus

I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus PDF Author: S.G. Browne
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476708738
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 175

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Book Description
“One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne seamlessly gift wraps this horrific and hilarious sequel to his “extremely strong” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) zombie novel Breathers. He sees you when you’re sleeping...he knows when you’re undead. How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus? If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand. Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice....

Howard Stern Comes Again

Howard Stern Comes Again PDF Author: Howard Stern
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501194291
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 560

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Book Description
Presents the first book in more than twenty years from the self-proclaimed King of All Media.