Author: Tanya Constantine
Publisher: Feral House
ISBN: 1627310886
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 273
Book Description
Though born in America, Eddie Constantine is perhaps best remembered as a film actor in France and Germany, playing the role of a hardboiled detective named "Lemmy Caution" and appearing in films by Jean-Luc Godard, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, and Lars von Trier. In the process of transitioning Constantine from the star of B-movies to the epicenter of the Nouvelle Vague, Jean-Luc Godard reconsecrated him as the solemn and impassive star of his extraordinary film, Alphaville. Eddie's unruffled charm, winning smile, and American credentials made him virtually untouchable. Europeans liked Constantine because he wasn't a pretty face-he had savoir faire. Constantine's daughter Tanya traveled with him throughout much of his career, and this book comes from her perspective of their troubled familial relationship. It is a testament to his legend that Constantine emerges from the candor of his daughter's autobiography somehow strengthened by her revelations of the compulsions and insecurities he made those closest to him suffer. This book presents us with universal truths about the difficulties experienced within family relationships and takes us behind the curtain of celebrity and the fixed smiles of publicity photos in a way few books ever do. I had a most unusual upbringing being the child of a celebrity. My childhood was a unique situation that only people who had experienced it could comprehend. My father was a superstar and singer in Europe in the 1950s and '60s. He and I recorded a song called "The Man and The Child" that sold over a million records in France alone, when I was just eleven years old, thus making me a celebrity too. When superstardom set in, a crazy atmosphere had overtaken our household, as fame creates pressure, fear of loss, and resentment. My father's estate became an open house to international celebrities who came to visit. Despite the fame and fortune that became part of my life, I ran away from home before the age of sixteen with the man who later became my first husband. I have spent my entire life attempting to release the pain of my upbringing.
In My Father's Shadow
Author: Chris Welles Feder
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1845968670
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 285
Book Description
Of all the myriad stars and celebrities Hollywood has produced, only a handful have achieved the fame - and, some would say, infamy - of Orson Welles, the creator and star of what is arguably the greatest film ever, Citizen Kane. Many books have been written about him, detailing his achievements as an artist as well as his foibles as a human being. None of them, however, has come so close to the real man as Chris Welles Feder does in this beautifully realised portrait of her father. In My Father's Shadow is a classic story of a life lived in the public eye, told with affection and the wide-eyed wonder of a daughter who never stopped believing that some day she would truly know and understand her elusive and larger-than-life father. The result is a moving and insightful look at life in the shadow of a legendary figure and an immensely entertaining story of growing up in the unreal reality of Hollywood.
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1845968670
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 285
Book Description
Of all the myriad stars and celebrities Hollywood has produced, only a handful have achieved the fame - and, some would say, infamy - of Orson Welles, the creator and star of what is arguably the greatest film ever, Citizen Kane. Many books have been written about him, detailing his achievements as an artist as well as his foibles as a human being. None of them, however, has come so close to the real man as Chris Welles Feder does in this beautifully realised portrait of her father. In My Father's Shadow is a classic story of a life lived in the public eye, told with affection and the wide-eyed wonder of a daughter who never stopped believing that some day she would truly know and understand her elusive and larger-than-life father. The result is a moving and insightful look at life in the shadow of a legendary figure and an immensely entertaining story of growing up in the unreal reality of Hollywood.
Out of My Father's Shadow
Author: Tanya Constantine
Publisher: Feral House
ISBN: 1627310886
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 273
Book Description
Though born in America, Eddie Constantine is perhaps best remembered as a film actor in France and Germany, playing the role of a hardboiled detective named "Lemmy Caution" and appearing in films by Jean-Luc Godard, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, and Lars von Trier. In the process of transitioning Constantine from the star of B-movies to the epicenter of the Nouvelle Vague, Jean-Luc Godard reconsecrated him as the solemn and impassive star of his extraordinary film, Alphaville. Eddie's unruffled charm, winning smile, and American credentials made him virtually untouchable. Europeans liked Constantine because he wasn't a pretty face-he had savoir faire. Constantine's daughter Tanya traveled with him throughout much of his career, and this book comes from her perspective of their troubled familial relationship. It is a testament to his legend that Constantine emerges from the candor of his daughter's autobiography somehow strengthened by her revelations of the compulsions and insecurities he made those closest to him suffer. This book presents us with universal truths about the difficulties experienced within family relationships and takes us behind the curtain of celebrity and the fixed smiles of publicity photos in a way few books ever do. I had a most unusual upbringing being the child of a celebrity. My childhood was a unique situation that only people who had experienced it could comprehend. My father was a superstar and singer in Europe in the 1950s and '60s. He and I recorded a song called "The Man and The Child" that sold over a million records in France alone, when I was just eleven years old, thus making me a celebrity too. When superstardom set in, a crazy atmosphere had overtaken our household, as fame creates pressure, fear of loss, and resentment. My father's estate became an open house to international celebrities who came to visit. Despite the fame and fortune that became part of my life, I ran away from home before the age of sixteen with the man who later became my first husband. I have spent my entire life attempting to release the pain of my upbringing.
Publisher: Feral House
ISBN: 1627310886
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 273
Book Description
Though born in America, Eddie Constantine is perhaps best remembered as a film actor in France and Germany, playing the role of a hardboiled detective named "Lemmy Caution" and appearing in films by Jean-Luc Godard, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, and Lars von Trier. In the process of transitioning Constantine from the star of B-movies to the epicenter of the Nouvelle Vague, Jean-Luc Godard reconsecrated him as the solemn and impassive star of his extraordinary film, Alphaville. Eddie's unruffled charm, winning smile, and American credentials made him virtually untouchable. Europeans liked Constantine because he wasn't a pretty face-he had savoir faire. Constantine's daughter Tanya traveled with him throughout much of his career, and this book comes from her perspective of their troubled familial relationship. It is a testament to his legend that Constantine emerges from the candor of his daughter's autobiography somehow strengthened by her revelations of the compulsions and insecurities he made those closest to him suffer. This book presents us with universal truths about the difficulties experienced within family relationships and takes us behind the curtain of celebrity and the fixed smiles of publicity photos in a way few books ever do. I had a most unusual upbringing being the child of a celebrity. My childhood was a unique situation that only people who had experienced it could comprehend. My father was a superstar and singer in Europe in the 1950s and '60s. He and I recorded a song called "The Man and The Child" that sold over a million records in France alone, when I was just eleven years old, thus making me a celebrity too. When superstardom set in, a crazy atmosphere had overtaken our household, as fame creates pressure, fear of loss, and resentment. My father's estate became an open house to international celebrities who came to visit. Despite the fame and fortune that became part of my life, I ran away from home before the age of sixteen with the man who later became my first husband. I have spent my entire life attempting to release the pain of my upbringing.
My Father's Shadow
Author: Jannali Jones
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781925936704
Category : Memory
Languages : en
Pages : 232
Book Description
Kaya is completing her Higher School Certificate when she is woken in the middle of the night by her mother. They are to pack immediately and go to their holiday home in the Blue Mountains. Her father is 'not coming back'. He has been involved in a court case to give evidence against some dangerous criminals. Months later, they are still in hiding and the mysteries are multiplying. Kaya is not sure who to trust: her mother's new friend, the policeman or her new friend, Eric, from the local store. She is also recovering from memory loss caused by PTSD after a chilling encounter with the criminals. She is seeing a psychologist in an attempt to recall the evidence she might have to give in a forthcoming trial. Her best friend, Jenna, has gone overseas and Kaya is trying to make sense of what is really happening. Jannali Jones has crafted a thrilling story which stays on the edge right to the end.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781925936704
Category : Memory
Languages : en
Pages : 232
Book Description
Kaya is completing her Higher School Certificate when she is woken in the middle of the night by her mother. They are to pack immediately and go to their holiday home in the Blue Mountains. Her father is 'not coming back'. He has been involved in a court case to give evidence against some dangerous criminals. Months later, they are still in hiding and the mysteries are multiplying. Kaya is not sure who to trust: her mother's new friend, the policeman or her new friend, Eric, from the local store. She is also recovering from memory loss caused by PTSD after a chilling encounter with the criminals. She is seeing a psychologist in an attempt to recall the evidence she might have to give in a forthcoming trial. Her best friend, Jenna, has gone overseas and Kaya is trying to make sense of what is really happening. Jannali Jones has crafted a thrilling story which stays on the edge right to the end.
My Father's Shadow
Author: Kara Rodriguez
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780615940809
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 296
Book Description
Dedicated. Driven. Determined. These words have all been used to describe Kara Rodriguez, but most aren't aware of the devastating past that made her this way. Beneath the facade of a faith-filled family, a horrible secret was kept. No one would have guessed that the sexual abuse began when Kara was only five years old, not even Kara. At the age of twelve, Kara realized she had repressed her memories of abuse. And thirteen years later, she continues to unpack them. My Father's Shadow is Kara's revealing memoir detailing the abuse, the overwhelming struggles, and her search for a Savior in the midst of great distress. Though the abuse has infiltrated every area of her life, Kara also writes of the joys of healing and the highs of traveling the world. What do you do when a secret-kept or told-continues to haunt you? What do you do when you've been betrayed? When your heart's been taken and used and thrown away? Kara's memoir provides great insight into the trauma of sexual abuse and the damage sin can cause. A true survivor memoir, My Father's Shadow is poised to change the face of literature on the topic of sexual abuse."
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780615940809
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 296
Book Description
Dedicated. Driven. Determined. These words have all been used to describe Kara Rodriguez, but most aren't aware of the devastating past that made her this way. Beneath the facade of a faith-filled family, a horrible secret was kept. No one would have guessed that the sexual abuse began when Kara was only five years old, not even Kara. At the age of twelve, Kara realized she had repressed her memories of abuse. And thirteen years later, she continues to unpack them. My Father's Shadow is Kara's revealing memoir detailing the abuse, the overwhelming struggles, and her search for a Savior in the midst of great distress. Though the abuse has infiltrated every area of her life, Kara also writes of the joys of healing and the highs of traveling the world. What do you do when a secret-kept or told-continues to haunt you? What do you do when you've been betrayed? When your heart's been taken and used and thrown away? Kara's memoir provides great insight into the trauma of sexual abuse and the damage sin can cause. A true survivor memoir, My Father's Shadow is poised to change the face of literature on the topic of sexual abuse."
Shadow of My Father
Author: John A. Gotti
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780692395882
Category : Mafia
Languages : en
Pages : 592
Book Description
"John A. Gotti who survived four trials and a parole violation hearing without a guilty verdict, in four years, now takes up his pen to tell the story of his father's unwavering dedication to the street, and how as his son he entered that life and then with his father's permission left the life of crime and put the "Family" behind him to live a legitimate life with his real family. It is a saga of betrayal and redemption, and an insider's view of how at times those who are tasked with upholding the law readily broke it to further their careers."--cover.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780692395882
Category : Mafia
Languages : en
Pages : 592
Book Description
"John A. Gotti who survived four trials and a parole violation hearing without a guilty verdict, in four years, now takes up his pen to tell the story of his father's unwavering dedication to the street, and how as his son he entered that life and then with his father's permission left the life of crime and put the "Family" behind him to live a legitimate life with his real family. It is a saga of betrayal and redemption, and an insider's view of how at times those who are tasked with upholding the law readily broke it to further their careers."--cover.
Shadow
Author: Michael Morpurgo
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
ISBN: 1466888091
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 192
Book Description
Author of War Horse, and bestselling storyteller Michael Morpurgo touched our hearts with this beautiful story of a boy, his lost dog, and the lengths he would go to be reunited. This timely story of battle-scarred Afghanistan delivers a masterful portrait of war, love, and friendship. With the horrors of war bearing down on them, Aman and his mother are barely surviving in an Afghan cave, and staying there any longer will end horribly. The only comfort Aman has is Shadow, the loyal spaniel that shows up from places unknown, it seems, just when Aman needs him most. Aman, his mother, and Shadow finally leave the destroyed cave in hopes of escaping to England, but are held at a checkpoint, and Shadow runs away after being shot at by the police. Aman and his mother escape--without Shadow. Aman is heart-broken. Just as they are getting settled as free citizens in England, they are imprisoned in a camp with locked doors and a barbed wire fence. Their only hope is Aman's classmate Matt, his grandpa, and the dream of finding his lost dog. After all, you never lose your shadow.
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
ISBN: 1466888091
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 192
Book Description
Author of War Horse, and bestselling storyteller Michael Morpurgo touched our hearts with this beautiful story of a boy, his lost dog, and the lengths he would go to be reunited. This timely story of battle-scarred Afghanistan delivers a masterful portrait of war, love, and friendship. With the horrors of war bearing down on them, Aman and his mother are barely surviving in an Afghan cave, and staying there any longer will end horribly. The only comfort Aman has is Shadow, the loyal spaniel that shows up from places unknown, it seems, just when Aman needs him most. Aman, his mother, and Shadow finally leave the destroyed cave in hopes of escaping to England, but are held at a checkpoint, and Shadow runs away after being shot at by the police. Aman and his mother escape--without Shadow. Aman is heart-broken. Just as they are getting settled as free citizens in England, they are imprisoned in a camp with locked doors and a barbed wire fence. Their only hope is Aman's classmate Matt, his grandpa, and the dream of finding his lost dog. After all, you never lose your shadow.
A Life Outside My Father's Shadow
Author: Fritz E. Schwalm
Publisher: Archway Publishing
ISBN: 1665756993
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 434
Book Description
In 1936, the year Fritz Schwalm was born, Adolph Hitler had high approval ratings. Fritz’s parents supported the national socialist state, and his father was an SS officer employed in the Race and Settlement Office (Rasse and Siedlungs Hauptamt, RuSHA). The office became the focus of a military tribunal of the Nuremberg trials, and his father was sentenced to ten years in prison. Decades later, after his father’s death, Fritz discovered his diaries, penned during the first four years in captivity that included the trial. In a fascinating memoir, Fritz begins by sharing his father’s journals that detail his thoughts about Germany’s successes and failures under the Hitler regime, beginning with his internment in a camp near Hamburg, Neuengamme. In the following section, Fritz chronicles his own life growing up under the Nazi regime. After revealing how the defeat of Germany in 1945 and its consequences confronted him with traditional political and social norms, he leads others through the events of his subsequent life, rich in adventures and free choices, stark contrasts of what his life would have been in a society governed by rigid social norms and ideological biases. A Life Outside My Father’s Shadow shares the contrasting perspectives and views of a German SS officer father and his son as the events of a brutal war transformed the world.
Publisher: Archway Publishing
ISBN: 1665756993
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 434
Book Description
In 1936, the year Fritz Schwalm was born, Adolph Hitler had high approval ratings. Fritz’s parents supported the national socialist state, and his father was an SS officer employed in the Race and Settlement Office (Rasse and Siedlungs Hauptamt, RuSHA). The office became the focus of a military tribunal of the Nuremberg trials, and his father was sentenced to ten years in prison. Decades later, after his father’s death, Fritz discovered his diaries, penned during the first four years in captivity that included the trial. In a fascinating memoir, Fritz begins by sharing his father’s journals that detail his thoughts about Germany’s successes and failures under the Hitler regime, beginning with his internment in a camp near Hamburg, Neuengamme. In the following section, Fritz chronicles his own life growing up under the Nazi regime. After revealing how the defeat of Germany in 1945 and its consequences confronted him with traditional political and social norms, he leads others through the events of his subsequent life, rich in adventures and free choices, stark contrasts of what his life would have been in a society governed by rigid social norms and ideological biases. A Life Outside My Father’s Shadow shares the contrasting perspectives and views of a German SS officer father and his son as the events of a brutal war transformed the world.
In The Shadow Of The Banyan
Author: Vaddey Ratner
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1849837619
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 436
Book Description
A stunning, powerful debut novel set against the backdrop of the Cambodian War, perfect for fans of Chris Cleave and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie For seven-year-old Raami, the shattering end of childhood begins with the footsteps of her father returning home in the early dawn hours bringing details of the civil war that has overwhelmed the streets of Phnom Penh, Cambodia's capital. Soon the family's world of carefully guarded royal privilege is swept up in the chaos of revolution and forced exodus. Over the next four years, as she endures the deaths of family members, starvation, and brutal forced labour, Raami clings to the only remaining vestige of childhood - the mythical legends and poems told to her by her father. In a climate of systematic violence where memory is sickness and justification for execution, Raami fights for her improbable survival. Displaying the author's extraordinary gift for language, In the Shadow of the Banyanis testament to the transcendent power of narrative and a brilliantly wrought tale of human resilience. 'In the Shadow of the Banyanis one of the most extraordinary and beautiful acts of storytelling I have ever encountered' Chris Cleave, author of The Other Hand 'Ratner is a fearless writer, and the novel explores important themes such as power, the relationship between love and guilt, and class. Most remarkably, it depicts the lives of characters forced to live in extreme circumstances, and investigates how that changes them. To read In the Shadow of the Banyan is to be left with a profound sense of being witness to a tragedy of history' Guardian 'This is an extraordinary debut … as beautiful as it is heartbreaking' Mail on Sunday
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1849837619
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 436
Book Description
A stunning, powerful debut novel set against the backdrop of the Cambodian War, perfect for fans of Chris Cleave and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie For seven-year-old Raami, the shattering end of childhood begins with the footsteps of her father returning home in the early dawn hours bringing details of the civil war that has overwhelmed the streets of Phnom Penh, Cambodia's capital. Soon the family's world of carefully guarded royal privilege is swept up in the chaos of revolution and forced exodus. Over the next four years, as she endures the deaths of family members, starvation, and brutal forced labour, Raami clings to the only remaining vestige of childhood - the mythical legends and poems told to her by her father. In a climate of systematic violence where memory is sickness and justification for execution, Raami fights for her improbable survival. Displaying the author's extraordinary gift for language, In the Shadow of the Banyanis testament to the transcendent power of narrative and a brilliantly wrought tale of human resilience. 'In the Shadow of the Banyanis one of the most extraordinary and beautiful acts of storytelling I have ever encountered' Chris Cleave, author of The Other Hand 'Ratner is a fearless writer, and the novel explores important themes such as power, the relationship between love and guilt, and class. Most remarkably, it depicts the lives of characters forced to live in extreme circumstances, and investigates how that changes them. To read In the Shadow of the Banyan is to be left with a profound sense of being witness to a tragedy of history' Guardian 'This is an extraordinary debut … as beautiful as it is heartbreaking' Mail on Sunday
I Came As a Shadow
Author: John Thompson
Publisher: Henry Holt and Company
ISBN: 1250619343
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 352
Book Description
A NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK The long-awaited autobiography from Georgetown University’s legendary coach, whose life on and off the basketball court threw America’s unresolved struggle with racial justice into sharp relief. John Thompson was never just a basketball coach and I Came As A Shadow is categorically not just a basketball autobiography. After five decades at the center of race and sports in America, Thompson—the iconic NCAA champion, Black activist, and educator—was ready to make the private public at last, and he completed this autobiography shortly before his death in the historically tumultuous summer of 2020. Chockful of stories and moving beyond mere stats (three Final Fours, four-time national coach of the year, seven Big East championships, 97 percent graduation rate), Thompson’s book drives us through his childhood under Jim Crow segregation to our current moment of racial reckoning. We experience riding shotgun with Celtics icon Red Auerbach and coaching NBA Hall of Famers like Patrick Ewing and Allen Iverson. What were the origins of the the phrase “Hoya Paranoia”? You’ll see. And parting his veil of secrecy, Thompson brings us into his negotiation with a D.C. drug kingpin in his players’ orbit in the 1980s, as well as behind the scenes of his years on the Nike board. Thompson’s mother was a teacher who had to clean houses because of racism in the nation's capital. His father could not read or write. Their son grew up to be a man with his own larger-than-life statue in a building that bears his family’s name on a campus once kept afloat by the selling of 272 enslaved Black people. This is a great American story, and John Thompson’s experience sheds light on many of the issues roiling our nation. In these pages, he proves himself to be the elder statesman whose final words college basketball and the country need to hear. I Came As A Shadow is not a swan song, but a bullhorn blast from one of America’s most prominent sons.
Publisher: Henry Holt and Company
ISBN: 1250619343
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 352
Book Description
A NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK The long-awaited autobiography from Georgetown University’s legendary coach, whose life on and off the basketball court threw America’s unresolved struggle with racial justice into sharp relief. John Thompson was never just a basketball coach and I Came As A Shadow is categorically not just a basketball autobiography. After five decades at the center of race and sports in America, Thompson—the iconic NCAA champion, Black activist, and educator—was ready to make the private public at last, and he completed this autobiography shortly before his death in the historically tumultuous summer of 2020. Chockful of stories and moving beyond mere stats (three Final Fours, four-time national coach of the year, seven Big East championships, 97 percent graduation rate), Thompson’s book drives us through his childhood under Jim Crow segregation to our current moment of racial reckoning. We experience riding shotgun with Celtics icon Red Auerbach and coaching NBA Hall of Famers like Patrick Ewing and Allen Iverson. What were the origins of the the phrase “Hoya Paranoia”? You’ll see. And parting his veil of secrecy, Thompson brings us into his negotiation with a D.C. drug kingpin in his players’ orbit in the 1980s, as well as behind the scenes of his years on the Nike board. Thompson’s mother was a teacher who had to clean houses because of racism in the nation's capital. His father could not read or write. Their son grew up to be a man with his own larger-than-life statue in a building that bears his family’s name on a campus once kept afloat by the selling of 272 enslaved Black people. This is a great American story, and John Thompson’s experience sheds light on many of the issues roiling our nation. In these pages, he proves himself to be the elder statesman whose final words college basketball and the country need to hear. I Came As A Shadow is not a swan song, but a bullhorn blast from one of America’s most prominent sons.
We Cast a Shadow
Author: Maurice Carlos Ruffin
Publisher: One World/Ballantine
ISBN: 0525509062
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338
Book Description
"In a near-future Southern city, everyone is talking about a new experimental medical procedure that boasts unprecedented success rates. In a society plagued by racism, segregation, and private prisons, this operation saves lives with a controversial method--by turning people white. Like any father, our unnamed narrator just wants the best for his son Nigel, a biracial boy whose black birthmark is getting bigger by the day. But in order to afford Nigel's whiteness operation, our narrator must make partner as one of the few black associates at his law firm, jumping through a series of increasingly absurd hoops--from diversity committees to plantation tours to equality activist groups--in a tragicomic quest to protect his son. This electrifying, suspenseful novel is, at once, a razor-sharp satire of surviving racism in America and a profoundly moving family story. In the tradition ofRalph Ellison's Invisible Man, We Cast a Shadow fearlessly shines a light on the violence we inherit, and on the desperate things we do for the ones we love"--
Publisher: One World/Ballantine
ISBN: 0525509062
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338
Book Description
"In a near-future Southern city, everyone is talking about a new experimental medical procedure that boasts unprecedented success rates. In a society plagued by racism, segregation, and private prisons, this operation saves lives with a controversial method--by turning people white. Like any father, our unnamed narrator just wants the best for his son Nigel, a biracial boy whose black birthmark is getting bigger by the day. But in order to afford Nigel's whiteness operation, our narrator must make partner as one of the few black associates at his law firm, jumping through a series of increasingly absurd hoops--from diversity committees to plantation tours to equality activist groups--in a tragicomic quest to protect his son. This electrifying, suspenseful novel is, at once, a razor-sharp satire of surviving racism in America and a profoundly moving family story. In the tradition ofRalph Ellison's Invisible Man, We Cast a Shadow fearlessly shines a light on the violence we inherit, and on the desperate things we do for the ones we love"--