LONG JOKES AND PARABLE'S

LONG JOKES AND PARABLE'S PDF Author: CLEM KADIDDLE-HOPPER
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 145689322X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 101

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Book Description
I was born into a large family of six many years ago at a very young age when butter (If you could afford it) was wrapped in paper, margarine didn't exist, groceries came from the shop in bulk, wrapped by the shopkeeper in brown paper, butchers paper or tissue paper which were later cut into squares and placed on a nail in the outside dunny. Plastic supermarket bags were unheard of; in fact, supermarkets were unheard of. I can remember the sides of bacon hanging from a hook on the ceiling and the shopkeeper used a long stick with a hook on the end to get them down to cut the bacon off in a slicing machine. Clem was born before television, faxes, polio shots, penicillin, frozen foods, photocopiers, plastic, contact lenses, fibre optic cable and the pill. Before credit cards, split atoms, Radar, laser beams and ball point pens. Before dishwashers, pantyhose, clothes dryers, micro-wave ovens, electric blankets, air conditioners, play stations, Nintendo, x-boxes, no video at all and definitely no 100 channels on cable TV....and before man walked on the moon. We got married first and then we lived together. We made do with what we had and we were the last generation who were naive enough to think you needed a wife to have a baby. How quaint can you be? In our time, closets were for clothes, not coming out of. Bunnies were small rabbits, not big girls And lemons were pieces of fruit not dud cars. Designer Jeans were scheming girls named Jean and having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Fast food was what you ate during Lent. And outer space was the back of the outdoor dunny. Before Day-care Centres, group therapy and suntan parlours. Well before we heard of FM radio, Tape decks, VCR's, electronic typewriters, Heart transplants, word processors, personal computers, mobile phones, yoghurt and guys wearing earrings. Time-sharing meant togetherness. We always had plenty of friends. We went out side and found them. We played cricket, football, chases and some time it really hurt. We fell out of trees, fell over, got cut, broke bones, chipped teeth and best of all there were no lawsuits from any of our accidents simply because it was our own stupid fault and nobody was to blame but us. A chip was a piece of wood. Hardware meant hammers and nails and software wasn't even a word. Grass was mown, coke was a cold drink and pot was something you cooked in. Rock music was a grandma's lullaby and aids were helpers in the headmaster’s office. Way back in those early days we were lucky to survive. Our baby cribs were covered in brightly coloured in lead based paint. There were no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinet’s and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets to wear, not to mention the risks we took when hitchhiking. When we were children, we rode in cars without seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of an old Ute on a warm day was always a special treat. In those days, we drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We ate cakes, bread and butter and drank cordial with sugar in it, but we were very seldom over weight because we were always outside running around and playing. We shared cordial with all our friends from the same bottle and nobody actually died from this. We would spend hours and hours making Billy carts out of any old scraps we managed to find around the place then race down the hill, only to find that we did not have any brakes to stop. After running into the scrub a few times we managed to over-come that problem. We would leave home in the early hours of the morning and play all day as long as we were home when the streetlights came on. No body really knew where we were all day. There were no such things as electronic calculators that fitted inside your pocket; they did addition on their fingers. To subtract, they had some of their fingers amputated. Wouldn’t be nice to be back there again? My family was so poor my mothe

LONG JOKES AND PARABLE'S

LONG JOKES AND PARABLE'S PDF Author: CLEM KADIDDLE-HOPPER
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 145689322X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 101

Get Book Here

Book Description
I was born into a large family of six many years ago at a very young age when butter (If you could afford it) was wrapped in paper, margarine didn't exist, groceries came from the shop in bulk, wrapped by the shopkeeper in brown paper, butchers paper or tissue paper which were later cut into squares and placed on a nail in the outside dunny. Plastic supermarket bags were unheard of; in fact, supermarkets were unheard of. I can remember the sides of bacon hanging from a hook on the ceiling and the shopkeeper used a long stick with a hook on the end to get them down to cut the bacon off in a slicing machine. Clem was born before television, faxes, polio shots, penicillin, frozen foods, photocopiers, plastic, contact lenses, fibre optic cable and the pill. Before credit cards, split atoms, Radar, laser beams and ball point pens. Before dishwashers, pantyhose, clothes dryers, micro-wave ovens, electric blankets, air conditioners, play stations, Nintendo, x-boxes, no video at all and definitely no 100 channels on cable TV....and before man walked on the moon. We got married first and then we lived together. We made do with what we had and we were the last generation who were naive enough to think you needed a wife to have a baby. How quaint can you be? In our time, closets were for clothes, not coming out of. Bunnies were small rabbits, not big girls And lemons were pieces of fruit not dud cars. Designer Jeans were scheming girls named Jean and having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Fast food was what you ate during Lent. And outer space was the back of the outdoor dunny. Before Day-care Centres, group therapy and suntan parlours. Well before we heard of FM radio, Tape decks, VCR's, electronic typewriters, Heart transplants, word processors, personal computers, mobile phones, yoghurt and guys wearing earrings. Time-sharing meant togetherness. We always had plenty of friends. We went out side and found them. We played cricket, football, chases and some time it really hurt. We fell out of trees, fell over, got cut, broke bones, chipped teeth and best of all there were no lawsuits from any of our accidents simply because it was our own stupid fault and nobody was to blame but us. A chip was a piece of wood. Hardware meant hammers and nails and software wasn't even a word. Grass was mown, coke was a cold drink and pot was something you cooked in. Rock music was a grandma's lullaby and aids were helpers in the headmaster’s office. Way back in those early days we were lucky to survive. Our baby cribs were covered in brightly coloured in lead based paint. There were no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinet’s and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets to wear, not to mention the risks we took when hitchhiking. When we were children, we rode in cars without seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of an old Ute on a warm day was always a special treat. In those days, we drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We ate cakes, bread and butter and drank cordial with sugar in it, but we were very seldom over weight because we were always outside running around and playing. We shared cordial with all our friends from the same bottle and nobody actually died from this. We would spend hours and hours making Billy carts out of any old scraps we managed to find around the place then race down the hill, only to find that we did not have any brakes to stop. After running into the scrub a few times we managed to over-come that problem. We would leave home in the early hours of the morning and play all day as long as we were home when the streetlights came on. No body really knew where we were all day. There were no such things as electronic calculators that fitted inside your pocket; they did addition on their fingers. To subtract, they had some of their fingers amputated. Wouldn’t be nice to be back there again? My family was so poor my mothe

Parables

Parables PDF Author: John White
Publisher: InterVarsity Press
ISBN: 9780830830374
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 68

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Book Description
The parables of Jesus seem designed to sneak up on us and upend our assumptions. The familiar takes an unexpected turn and the listener's secret thoughts are exposed. In these twelve-session LifeGuide® Bible Study, John White invites us to lend an ear to thes greatest stories ever told—stories with power to reveal us to ourselves.

Hear Then the Parable

Hear Then the Parable PDF Author: Bernard Brandon Scott
Publisher: Fortress Press
ISBN: 9781451404180
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 484

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Book Description
Hear Then the Parable is an innovative literary-social reading of all the parables of Jesus.

The New Testament with Imagination

The New Testament with Imagination PDF Author: William Loader
Publisher: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing
ISBN: 0802827462
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 217

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Book Description
The dynamic teachings of the New Testament are often lost in the dryness and formality of academic study. In The New Testament with Imagination William Loader seeks to solve this conundrum. He brings imagination into play to enter the world of the New Testament and carefully reads key sample passages to go right to the heart of its message. This book offers a unique new way of approaching the New Testament -- nothing else like it is in print -- and will be accessible to a broad readership, although it will also give longtime students of scripture a fresh perspective. Loader's historically sound methodology remains focused on imagining what we know through established research, not fanciful reconstruction. Loader's distinctive work has the strength of a standard introduction, but without an overload of information, and the depth of a New Testament theology, but written in language accessible to readers new to the New Testament.

Three Fires

Three Fires PDF Author: Denise Mina
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1639364560
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 106

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Book Description
From the award-winning master of crime fiction, Denise Mina re-imagines the "Bonfire of the Vanities,” a series of fires lit throughout Florence at the end of the fifteenth century—inspired by the fanatical Girolamo Savonarola. Girolamo Savonarola was a Dominican friar living in Florence at the end of the fifteenth century. An anti-corruption campaigner, his hellfire preaching increasingly spilled over into tirades against all luxuries that tempted his followers toward sin. These sermons led to the infamous "Bonfire of the Vanities”—a series of fires lit throughout Florence for the incineration of everything from books, extravagant clothing, playing cards, musical instruments, make-up, and mirrors to paintings, tapestries, and sculptures. Railing against the vice and avarice of the ruling Medici family, he was instrumental in their removal from power—and for a short time became the puritanical leader of the city. After turning his attention to corruption within the Catholic Church, he was first excommunicated and then executed by a combination of hanging and being burned at the stake. Just as in Rizzio—her latest novel with Pegasus Crime—Denise Mina brings a modern take to this fascinating historical story, drawing parallels between the febrile atmosphere of medieval Florence and the culture wars of the present day. In dramatizing the life and last days of Savonarola, she explores the downfall of the original architect of cancel culture and, in the process, explores the never-ending tensions between wealth, inequality, and freedom of speech that so dominate our modern world.

Humor Us

Humor Us PDF Author: Donald Capps
Publisher: Wipf and Stock Publishers
ISBN: 1498290388
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 194

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Book Description
This book addresses the fact that Americans tend to live under a considerable amount of stress, tension, and anxiety, and suggests that humor can be helpful in alleviating their distress. It posits that humor is a useful placebo in this regard; cites studies that show that humor moderates life stress; considers the relationship of religion and humor, especially as means to alleviate anxiety; proposes that Jesus had a sense of humor; suggests that his parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard has humorous implications for the relief of occupational stress; explores the relationship of gossip and humor; and suggests that Jesus and his disciples were a joking community. It concludes that Jesus viewed the kingdom of God as a worry-free existence.

Proclaiming the Parables

Proclaiming the Parables PDF Author: Thomas G. Long
Publisher: Presbyterian Publishing Corp
ISBN: 1646983742
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 394

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Book Description
In Proclaiming the Parables, noted preacher and scholar Thomas G. Long moves away from past treatment of the parables primarily as literary devices and moves toward an emphasis on their theological impact as pointers to the kingdom of God. While the parables are indeed significant poetic literary creations that have enchanted readers over the centuries, their main power, he claims, lies in their disclosure of the kingdom of God, which is not merely an idea, nor even just a complex symbol with generative and centrifugal force, but an event: the inbreaking of the life of God into human history and experience. Long sees parables not merely as creative figures of speech but as GPS devices taking hearers to those places where the event of God is happening all around us. This book provides two chapters for each synoptic Gospel. The first focuses on the Gospel as a whole and the parables’ place in it, and the second provides preachers and teachers with detailed exegetical and homiletical commentary for each major parable in that Gospel. Two introductory chapters additionally situate this book in the history and theology of the parables’ interpretation and address questions that preachers have about preaching the parables. Preachers who consult this volume will be informed about each major parable, guided through the controversies regarding interpretation, and stimulated to preach on the parable in fresh, faithful, and creative ways.

More Parables for Plain People

More Parables for Plain People PDF Author: Jack Worrill
Publisher: WestBowPress
ISBN: 1490808744
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 280

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Book Description
More Parables for Plain PeopleObservations of FooFoo the Wise follows in the same vein as Jack Worrills first book, Parables for Plain People, which was well received and, according to some reports, placed him in the top 10 percent of self-published authors. Once again he shares his opinions and insightssome wise and some wittyall with a focus on their possible spiritual significance when applied to ones daily life. Jacks writings are drawn from his experience as an advertising executive, Sunday school teacher, furniture craftsman, music minister, and observer of human nature. In More Parables, he offers ninety-one fresh, new, inspirational readings on topics from The Magic Feather to The Upraised Thumb, with stops in between at such subjects as The Beggar Lice, The Delusionist, and The Sardines and Soda Crackers.

Philosophy and Kafka

Philosophy and Kafka PDF Author: Brendan Moran
Publisher: Lexington Books
ISBN: 0739180908
Category : Philosophy
Languages : en
Pages : 300

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Book Description
Philosophy and Kafka is a collection of original essays interrogating the relationship of literature and philosophy. The essays either discuss specific philosophical commentaries on Kafka’s work, consider the possible relevance of certain philosophical outlooks for examining Kafka’s writings, or examine Kafka’s writings in terms of a specific philosophical theme, such as communication and subjectivity, language and meaning, knowledge and truth, the human/animal divide, justice, and freedom.

ESV Expository Commentary (Volume 8)

ESV Expository Commentary (Volume 8) PDF Author: Iain M. Duguid
Publisher: Crossway
ISBN: 1433576198
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 1568

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Book Description
A Passage-by-Passage Commentary of Matthew, Mark, and Luke Designed to strengthen the global church with a widely accessible, theologically sound, and pastorally wise resource for understanding and applying the overarching storyline of the Bible, this commentary series features the full text of the ESV Bible passage by passage, with crisp and theologically rich exposition and application. Editors Iain M. Duguid, James M. Hamilton Jr., and Jay Sklar have gathered a team of experienced pastor-theologians to provide a new generation of pastors and other teachers of the Bible around the world with a globally minded commentary series rich in biblical theology and broadly Reformed doctrine, making the message of redemption found in all of Scripture clear and available to all. Contributors to this volume include: Dan Doriani (Matthew) Hans F. Bayer (Mark) Thomas R. Schreiner (Luke)