5,000 Great One Liners

5,000 Great One Liners PDF Author: Grant Tucker
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 1849544824
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 355

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Book Description
My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.

5,000 Great One Liners

5,000 Great One Liners PDF Author: Grant Tucker
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 1849544824
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 355

Get Book

Book Description
My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.

The Mammoth Book of One-Liners

The Mammoth Book of One-Liners PDF Author: Geoff Tibballs
Publisher: Robinson
ISBN: 1780335369
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 607

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Book Description
A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'

Great Funny One-Liners

Great Funny One-Liners PDF Author: Frank Allen
Publisher: New Holland Publishing Australia Pty Limited
ISBN: 9781741107005
Category : Invective
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
"Funny, humorous, clever quotes and insults"--Publisher.

Boom! One Liners

Boom! One Liners PDF Author: L. O. L. Funny Jokes Club
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781535540827
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 26

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Book Description
Funny One Liners! Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body?Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! With this funny collection of one-liner jokes for adults you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh and laugh at this funny joke book. Funny One-Liner Jokes for Adults! Sex jokes Bar jokes Blonde jokes Divorce jokes Men and Women jokes The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!

A Director’s Guide to the Art of Stand-up

A Director’s Guide to the Art of Stand-up PDF Author: Chris Head
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
ISBN: 135003553X
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 201

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Book Description
Stand-up: it's the ultimate solo art form. Yet, behind the scenes, you will increasingly find the shadowy figure of a director. For comics themselves and for those who support them, this is the first book to give the director's perspective on creating and performing stand-up comedy. Drawing on his own experience of directing stand-up alongside speaking to comedians and their directors, Chris Head produces a revealing perspective on the creative process, comic persona, writing stand-up, structuring material and delivering a performance. Directors interviewed include Logan Murray, John Gordillo and Simon McBurney, who between them have directed Eddie Izzard, Michael McIntyre, Milton Jones, Lenny Henry and French & Saunders. With a foreword by BBC arts editor Will Gompertz and contributions from many other interviewees including Oliver Double (author of Getting the Joke), this is the only book that goes all the way from one-liners to theatre via comedy club sets and full-length shows. Perfect for stand-ups from newbies to pros, students of comedy, academics studying and teaching stand-up and for directors themselves, A Director's Guide to the Art of Stand-up offers hundreds of inspiring practical insights and shows how creating the comedian's highly personal, individual act can be a deeply collaborative process.

The 2,320 Funniest Quotes

The 2,320 Funniest Quotes PDF Author:
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1569759944
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 301

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Book Description
Presenting the best of the best from AllGreatQuotes.com, this uproarious volume features gems on every topic, from sex and money to spouses and politics. From the witty quips of Mark Twain to the unintentionally hilarious gaffs of today’s celebrities, this collection of snappy quotes puts readers in hysterics. This uproarious volume has clever gems on every topic imaginable. It ranges from Oscar Wilde’s devious perspective on people (“Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.”) to Socrates’ ironic advice on marriage (“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”) to Julia Roberts’ view on keeping it real (“Your face tells a story—and it shouldn’t be a story about your drive to the doctor’s office.”). The 2,320 FunniestQuotes is perfect for readers who want a cocktail party wisecrack, Facebook wall post, or witty retort, or who are just looking for a reason to smile. Laugh until you cry with such words of wisdom as . . . God gave man a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time. —Robin Williams Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. —Spike Milligan Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. —Oscar Wilde The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! —Homer Simpson When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was “Always.” —Rita Rudner Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. —George Burns

Winning with One-Liners

Winning with One-Liners PDF Author: Pat Williams
Publisher: HCI
ISBN: 9780757300578
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Laughter is power. Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds. In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 categories—from airlines and politics to world conditions and zoos—these 3,400 battle-tested funnies, delivered before a rich variety of audiences, will keep readers roaring. While many other joke books offer material that is either not very funny or off-color, Winning with One-Liners provides clean, wholesome entertainment for all audiences. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and Pat Williams shows how to do it right in this indispensable book for all speakers.

Gagged and Bound

Gagged and Bound PDF Author: Nick Jones
Publisher: Full Media Ltd
ISBN: 0993079431
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 133

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Book Description
Gagged and Bound is a riotous, rapid-fire collection of over 500 original gags written by pun-loving jokesmith Nick Jones. With a mixture of witty one-liners, playful puns and dubious dad jokes, coupled with some great visual gags illustrated by Tiffany Sheely, Gagged and Bound will leave you grinning like a maniac – so probably best not to read it while travelling on public transport. "It’s what it says on the tin: a succession of one-liners, puns and dad jokes going at your laughing muscles in a joyously pell-mell, headlong way. It’s irresistible." - The Bookbag "I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a joke book that’s varied and full of easy one-liners." - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. What happens when herbs get into debt? They receive a visit from the bay leaf. Every dog has its day. It’s called International Dog Day. I’ve written a self-help book for people trying to lose weight but it hasn’t been very successful. It’s called Help Yourself.

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks PDF Author: G. Patrick Vennebush
Publisher: Robert Reed Publishers
ISBN: 9781934759486
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Professor and Mathemagician, Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA --

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners PDF Author:
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1628734205
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 312

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Book Description
“I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”