Excuse Me While I Disappear: Tales of Midlife Mayhem PDF Download
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Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Little a
ISBN: 9781542033503
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 256
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Book Description
A laugh-out-loud spin on the realities, perks, opportunities, and inevitable courses of midlife. Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn't end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair's root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything). Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting--the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries--Laurie accepts it. And then some. With unintentional abandon, she shoplifts a bag of russet potatoes. Heckles a rude driver from her beat-up Prius. And engages in epic trolling on Nextdoor.com. That, says Laurie, is the brilliance of growing older. With each passing day, you lose an equivalent amount of fear. And the #1 New York Times bestselling author has never been so fearlessly funny as she is in this empowering, candid, and enlightening memoir about living life on the other side of fifty.
Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Little a
ISBN: 9781542033503
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 256
Get Book Here
Book Description
A laugh-out-loud spin on the realities, perks, opportunities, and inevitable courses of midlife. Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn't end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair's root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything). Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting--the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries--Laurie accepts it. And then some. With unintentional abandon, she shoplifts a bag of russet potatoes. Heckles a rude driver from her beat-up Prius. And engages in epic trolling on Nextdoor.com. That, says Laurie, is the brilliance of growing older. With each passing day, you lose an equivalent amount of fear. And the #1 New York Times bestselling author has never been so fearlessly funny as she is in this empowering, candid, and enlightening memoir about living life on the other side of fifty.
Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0812975723
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 320
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Book Description
The first novel from the New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club is a rollicking tale of small-town peculiarity, dark secrets, and one extraordinary beauty pageant. When her husband is offered a post at a small university, Maye is only too happy to pack up and leave the relentless Phoenix heat for the lush green quietude of Spaulding, Washington. While she loves the odd little town, there is one thing she didn’t anticipate: just how heartbreaking it would be leaving her friends behind. And when you’re a childless thirtysomething freelance writer who works at home, making new friends can be quite a challenge. After a series of false starts nearly gets her exiled from town, Maye decides that her last chance to connect with her new neighbors is to enter the annual Sewer Pipe Queen Pageant, a kooky but dead-serious local tradition open to contestants of all ages and genders. Aided by a deranged former pageant queen with one eyebrow, Maye doesn’t just make a splash, she uncovers a sinister mystery that has haunted the town for decades. “[Laurie Notaro] may be the funniest writer in this solar system.”—The Miami Herald
Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0812969014
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 240
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Book Description
She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.
Author: Malcolm McLean
Publisher: eBook Partnership
ISBN: 1913227251
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 348
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Book Description
In nineties small-town Surrey, watching Top of the Pops was Malcolm's only escape from boredom and the bullies at school ... until a phone call from a pop star changed his life forever. Before long, he was getting compliments from BeyoncaA(c), hanging out at award ceremonies with Posh Spice's mum and sneaking onto All Saints' tour bus. Freak Like Me is the true story of one teenage pop fan who, with a group of like-minded outcasts, witnesses the disposable music industry of the late nineties and early noughties first-hand. Tracking down A-lister itineraries, he gets to meet the real personalities behind the Smash Hits posters adorning his bedroom walls. This hilarious memoir is packed with scandalous gossip and poignant memories from the era of Nokia 3310s and dial-up Internet, when chart positions meant everything and, if you wanted to know what your idols were up to off-screen, you had to track them down yourself!
Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 1588362434
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 240
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Book Description
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “I’ve changed a bit since high school. Back then I said no to using and selling drugs. I washed on a normal basis and still had good credit.” Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends—and that’s before she even puts on a bra. For the past ten years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences. She writes about a world of hourly-wage jobs that require absolutely no skills, a mother who hands down judgments more forcefully than anyone seated on the Supreme Court, horrific high school reunions, and hangovers that leave her surprised that she woke up in the first place. The misadventures of Laurie and her fellow Idiot Girls (“too cool to be in the Smart Group”) unfold in a world that everyone will recognize but no one has ever described so hilariously. She delivers the goods: life as we all know it.
Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Villard Books
ISBN: 1400065038
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 218
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Book Description
The "New York Times"-bestselling author of "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club" returns with her first collection of all new essays and personal observations in three years--and her funniest yet.
Author: Lucy Courtenay
Publisher: Hachette Children's
ISBN: 9781444930733
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
If you love rom-coms you'll love this sassy, funny romance that will make you fall head over heels with the help of twelve classic films and a misbehaving cat named Nigel. Perfect for fans of Zoella, Geek Girl and Holly Bourne. One: I am hopelessly in love with Hanna Bergdahl. Two: for the first time since our recent reunion Hanna Bergdahl appears to be single. And three: I am stuck in that inescapable netherworld of demons and acne - the Friend Zone. Sol and Hanna were best friends at primary school and after reuniting at college, they spend approximately seventy per cent of daylight hours together. When disaster strikes at a New Year's Eve party and Hannah sees new boyfriend Danny Dukas kissing Lizzie Banks, a New Year's Resolution is formed. Sol and Hanna will watch one film a month for twelve months until the next New Year. After all, films hold answers to life's hardest questions. Maybe they'll figure out why they are both members of the dumpee club. Only Sol Adams has a new year's resolution of his own: to kiss Hanna Bergdahl before the year is over. Will Sol ever defeat the Friend Zone?
Author: Kenneth Carter
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
ISBN: 1108738109
Category : Medical
Languages : en
Pages : 249
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Book Description
Are you a thrill-seeker or a chill-seeker? A clinical psychologist lifts the lid on what makes adrenaline junkies tick.
Author: Caryl Hart
Publisher: Foxy Tales
ISBN: 9781444909319
Category : Alligators
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Foxy DuBois is on a mission to get rich quick. Only one thing stands in her way - Alphonso the Alligator! Can Foxy's hair-brained schemes make enough money to keep Alphonso fed? Or will Foxy DuBois find herself on the menu? An hilarious new series for young readers from an award-winning author-illustrator team. Alex's first fiction series - Claude - was selected for the Richard and Judy Children's Book Club and the Waterstone's Children's Book Prize, and he is the World Book Day Illustrator 2014. Caryl has been shortlisted for the Red House Award and won many awards, including the Stockport Award.
Author: Daniel Cole Young
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1402237227
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 128
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Book Description
52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop The only known translation of an ancient manual instructing readers in the art of enlightened bathroom experience, the Kama Pootra offers a thrilling rediscovery of the tiled path to porcelain nirvana. Willing seekers will find fifty-two progressive positions designed to maximize how you do number two. Every time the bathroom door closes, a new experience awaits.
