Dumbness Is a Dish Best Served Cold

Dumbness Is a Dish Best Served Cold PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545932939
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 228

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Book Description
Return to Mackerel Middle School with a special full-color extra-dumb diary from the New York Times–bestselling author! Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever—but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she’s come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They’re going to be rich! The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat. Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, “She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and—forget it. I’m hungry. I want some cookies.” This is sure to go well. Praise for Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

Dumbness Is a Dish Best Served Cold

Dumbness Is a Dish Best Served Cold PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545932939
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 228

Get Book Here

Book Description
Return to Mackerel Middle School with a special full-color extra-dumb diary from the New York Times–bestselling author! Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever—but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she’s come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They’re going to be rich! The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat. Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, “She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and—forget it. I’m hungry. I want some cookies.” This is sure to go well. Praise for Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

Never Do Anything, Ever (Dear Dumb Diary #4)

Never Do Anything, Ever (Dear Dumb Diary #4) PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545649455
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 153

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Book Description
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be.Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her?

School. Hasn't This Gone on Long Enough? (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #1)

School. Hasn't This Gone on Long Enough? (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #1) PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545456177
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 162

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Book Description
Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, with a brand-new spin on a favorite series! Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, with a brand-new spin on a favorite series!Dear Dumb Diary is a hilarious hit! Now after 12 books (each covering a month of her life), Jamie Kelly's upcoming diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. It's Dear Dumb Diary: Year Two! The diary entries are still laugh-out-loud funny -- but this is a whole new beginning. Everything is another year dumber!As Jamie grapples with school, grades, and middle school's Big Questions, don't miss even more of her words of wisdom like, "If someone is really, really intelligent, it would be polite if they would ugly it up a bit before they left the house."(Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

What I Don't Know Might Hurt Me (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #4)

What I Don't Know Might Hurt Me (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #4) PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545606942
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 146

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Book Description
Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, continuing a new spin on a favorite series! Dear Dumb Diary, Just when I was pretty sure we could let the Student Awareness Committee quietly die a dignified death like some majestic old elephant or the Square Dancing Club, Angeline has to be aware of something. Great.And, of course, it couldn't be something interesting like nail polish or why maybe there should be a special class in nail polish and how to get it out of your beagle's ear. (Mom, if you're reading this, I'm not admitting anything. Somebody else could have painted a heart in his ear.)Angeline just had to be aware of one of those THINGS THAT ADULTS LIKE.

Never Underestimate Your Dumbness (Dear Dumb Diary #7)

Never Underestimate Your Dumbness (Dear Dumb Diary #7) PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545295580
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 168

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Book Description
Sneak a peek inside the NY Times bestselling diary of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything she writes is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Dear Dumb Diary,Isabella is probably right. She almost always is.When I think back on all the things I've seen Angeline do, the one thing they have in common is that they're all dumb. (They're all strawberry-scented, too, but I think that's just her conditioner -- although her body might actually secrete its own strawberry scent.)But of all the dumb things she's ever done, this has got to be the dumbest. . . .

A Guard Dog Named Honey

A Guard Dog Named Honey PDF Author: Denise Gosliner Orenstein
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 1338348507
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 214

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Book Description
What happens when a girl tries to steal a dog -- but the dog steals her heart instead? I made my birthday vow: I would get Willis out of jail, no matter what. When Bean's brother gets arrested for joyriding in a stolen car, Bean is devastated. She's determined to get him out of jail by raising the bail their mom can't afford. She tries everything, from applying for summer jobs, to offering to paint summer mansions. It's at one of those old mansions that she meets a young girl named Phoebe and her giant (and very valuable) guard dog, Honey. Bean quickly hatches her plan: She'll convince Phoebe to sell Honey and let her use some of the cash for bail. But when Honey's sale takes a dangerous turn, Bean is torn between her desire for her brother's freedom and her loyalty to Phoebe and sweet, drooly, affectionate Honey. Can Bean fight for her family without betraying her new friends?

That's What Friends Aren't For (Dear Dumb Diary #9)

That's What Friends Aren't For (Dear Dumb Diary #9) PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545308461
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 152

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Book Description
Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.Dear Dumb Diary,So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker's puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn't live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy.

Live Each Day to the Dumbest

Live Each Day to the Dumbest PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 054564352X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 146

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Book Description
New York Times–Bestselling Author: Middle schooler Jamie Kelly spends lots of time writing in her diary—but right now she’s taking a peek at someone else’s . . . It’s not easy being a middle-schooler, and nobody knows that better than Jamie Kelly. There are surprises around every corner: some good, some bad, all dumb. But when Jamie inherits a trunk of her grandmother’s things, she never expects to find the biggest surprise of all—Grandma’s diary. Violating the privacy of a diary is something Jamie would never do . . . unless she was absolutely certain that she wanted to do it. And when she does, she learns that, deep down, everyone is exactly the same. Dumb. By the way, Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don’t tell her. And definitely don’t tell her that she’s the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on streaming. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.)

Am I the Princess or the Frog? (Dear Dumb Diary #3)

Am I the Princess or the Frog? (Dear Dumb Diary #3) PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545649447
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 169

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Book Description
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be- named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on . . . Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World). Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.

Nobody's Perfect. I'm As Close As It Gets. (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #3)

Nobody's Perfect. I'm As Close As It Gets. (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #3) PDF Author: Jim Benton
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545510074
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 146

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Book Description
Whatever you do, DON'T read Jamie Kelly's bestselling diaries! The bestselling Dear Dumb Diary series is a hilarious hit! Now Jamie Kelly's diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. Dear Dumb Diary Year Two is still laugh-out-loud funny -- but everything is another year dumber!As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom like, "Everybody knows that the more you love somebody, the less you try to look nice for them," and "People don't appreciate how much willpower it takes to do the wrong thing."(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)