Author: Emma Beasley
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781517368418
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 186
Book Description
I have three kids, four cats, two dogs, one husband, and a migraine. My oldest son is an MD: Manic Depressive. My middle child won't be happy until she has lost enough weight to buy her clothes in the Barbie aisle. My youngest son sleeps all day and prowls around all night. I don't have his test results back yet, but I'm pretty sure he's a vampire. Life is like a box of chocolates for some. For me, it's more like the popular board game by Parker Bros: Monotony. No matter how meticulously I sweep, mop, and vacuum, I turn around and have to do it all again in six months. There was a time when an unfulfilled housewife could stick her head inside a gas oven and end it all while still retaining a modicum of dignity. If my husband comes home from work to find my head in the microwave, I'm just going to look silly. The afterlife is likely overrated anyway. Take the silk gowns for example. Ironically, most women wouldn't be caught dead wearing white after labor day. Besides, neatness has never been my strong suit. I will spill coffee or grape juice on it the first day. In other words, I'll be doing laundry again. And if that silk doesn't need to be dry cleaned, those wings surely will. I'm a realist. My husband imagines spending eternity lounging around on a fluffy cloud and doing absolutely nothing - a role for which he is supremely qualified. I, on the other hand, anticipate that the cloud's moisture will make my hair go limp. Heaven might not be an option because my husband is an atheist and I'm exhausted. People sometimes ask if that concerns me. What they don't realize is that when you're married, as long as you and your spouse are together for the rest of eternity, you're going to be in hell either way.
Diary of a Bad Housewife
Author: Emma Beasley
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781517368418
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 186
Book Description
I have three kids, four cats, two dogs, one husband, and a migraine. My oldest son is an MD: Manic Depressive. My middle child won't be happy until she has lost enough weight to buy her clothes in the Barbie aisle. My youngest son sleeps all day and prowls around all night. I don't have his test results back yet, but I'm pretty sure he's a vampire. Life is like a box of chocolates for some. For me, it's more like the popular board game by Parker Bros: Monotony. No matter how meticulously I sweep, mop, and vacuum, I turn around and have to do it all again in six months. There was a time when an unfulfilled housewife could stick her head inside a gas oven and end it all while still retaining a modicum of dignity. If my husband comes home from work to find my head in the microwave, I'm just going to look silly. The afterlife is likely overrated anyway. Take the silk gowns for example. Ironically, most women wouldn't be caught dead wearing white after labor day. Besides, neatness has never been my strong suit. I will spill coffee or grape juice on it the first day. In other words, I'll be doing laundry again. And if that silk doesn't need to be dry cleaned, those wings surely will. I'm a realist. My husband imagines spending eternity lounging around on a fluffy cloud and doing absolutely nothing - a role for which he is supremely qualified. I, on the other hand, anticipate that the cloud's moisture will make my hair go limp. Heaven might not be an option because my husband is an atheist and I'm exhausted. People sometimes ask if that concerns me. What they don't realize is that when you're married, as long as you and your spouse are together for the rest of eternity, you're going to be in hell either way.
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781517368418
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 186
Book Description
I have three kids, four cats, two dogs, one husband, and a migraine. My oldest son is an MD: Manic Depressive. My middle child won't be happy until she has lost enough weight to buy her clothes in the Barbie aisle. My youngest son sleeps all day and prowls around all night. I don't have his test results back yet, but I'm pretty sure he's a vampire. Life is like a box of chocolates for some. For me, it's more like the popular board game by Parker Bros: Monotony. No matter how meticulously I sweep, mop, and vacuum, I turn around and have to do it all again in six months. There was a time when an unfulfilled housewife could stick her head inside a gas oven and end it all while still retaining a modicum of dignity. If my husband comes home from work to find my head in the microwave, I'm just going to look silly. The afterlife is likely overrated anyway. Take the silk gowns for example. Ironically, most women wouldn't be caught dead wearing white after labor day. Besides, neatness has never been my strong suit. I will spill coffee or grape juice on it the first day. In other words, I'll be doing laundry again. And if that silk doesn't need to be dry cleaned, those wings surely will. I'm a realist. My husband imagines spending eternity lounging around on a fluffy cloud and doing absolutely nothing - a role for which he is supremely qualified. I, on the other hand, anticipate that the cloud's moisture will make my hair go limp. Heaven might not be an option because my husband is an atheist and I'm exhausted. People sometimes ask if that concerns me. What they don't realize is that when you're married, as long as you and your spouse are together for the rest of eternity, you're going to be in hell either way.
Diary of a Crap Housewife
Author: Jessica Rowe
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
ISBN: 1760870951
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 203
Book Description
Why not cut the crap, take the pressure off and admit to the moments, days, weeks and months when the wheels of the household do fall off? 'Warning: this ain't no recipe book! But Jess's real, raw and often roaringly funny tales will nourish your soul. You'll devour it! And ask for seconds!' - Sarah Harris 'J-Ro's exuberance for this wonderful, sometimes messy and at times chaotic journey through life jumps joyfully out of each page. She's honest. She's disorganised. And she's got a heart of gold. Viva la Crap Housewife!' - Samantha Armytage Why not cut the crap, take the pressure off, and admit to the moments, days, weeks and months when the wheels fall off? In this fabulously funny, down-to-earth book, Diary of a Crap Housewife, Jessica Rowe writes honestly about her talent (or lack thereof) for cooking, about what's really important when it comes to mothering and family, and about her many and varied views, musings and commonsense advice on other crap housewife matters. As an added bonus, there are thirteen crap housewife recipes included, from Jessica's old favourite, spag bol, to a fresh and tasty Waldorf salad, and all so simple you can't go wrong. Being a crap housewife is a badge Jessica wears with pride, and it's a title she invites other women to embrace. The idea of crap lies in the real-life messes, hiccups, disasters and bad meals that many of us dish up and deal with every day. This mum is tired of the photos of perfectly packed school lunches, posts about gourmet family dinners eaten together at the table, and tales of neat, tidy and obedient children with smoothly brushed hair. It's time to reset the bar. Make expectations realistic. Strive to be kind, loving, smart and funny. Perfection is not required. 'Jess Rowe may be a crap housewife but she is a great writer and an even better friend. And she's right: I can be a bit of a smart arse.' - Joe Hildebrand 'This woman has enriched my life. And if you read this book your life will be enriched with honesty and love too!' - Denise Drysdale
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
ISBN: 1760870951
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 203
Book Description
Why not cut the crap, take the pressure off and admit to the moments, days, weeks and months when the wheels of the household do fall off? 'Warning: this ain't no recipe book! But Jess's real, raw and often roaringly funny tales will nourish your soul. You'll devour it! And ask for seconds!' - Sarah Harris 'J-Ro's exuberance for this wonderful, sometimes messy and at times chaotic journey through life jumps joyfully out of each page. She's honest. She's disorganised. And she's got a heart of gold. Viva la Crap Housewife!' - Samantha Armytage Why not cut the crap, take the pressure off, and admit to the moments, days, weeks and months when the wheels fall off? In this fabulously funny, down-to-earth book, Diary of a Crap Housewife, Jessica Rowe writes honestly about her talent (or lack thereof) for cooking, about what's really important when it comes to mothering and family, and about her many and varied views, musings and commonsense advice on other crap housewife matters. As an added bonus, there are thirteen crap housewife recipes included, from Jessica's old favourite, spag bol, to a fresh and tasty Waldorf salad, and all so simple you can't go wrong. Being a crap housewife is a badge Jessica wears with pride, and it's a title she invites other women to embrace. The idea of crap lies in the real-life messes, hiccups, disasters and bad meals that many of us dish up and deal with every day. This mum is tired of the photos of perfectly packed school lunches, posts about gourmet family dinners eaten together at the table, and tales of neat, tidy and obedient children with smoothly brushed hair. It's time to reset the bar. Make expectations realistic. Strive to be kind, loving, smart and funny. Perfection is not required. 'Jess Rowe may be a crap housewife but she is a great writer and an even better friend. And she's right: I can be a bit of a smart arse.' - Joe Hildebrand 'This woman has enriched my life. And if you read this book your life will be enriched with honesty and love too!' - Denise Drysdale
Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife
Author: Brenda Wilhelmson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1616490004
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 356
Book Description
A gripping first-hand story of personal triumph and recovery by a wealthy American housewife who appeared to have it all but who was, in reality, losing life's most important moments in an alcohol-induced haze. Brenda Wilhelmson was like a lot of women in her neighborhood. She had a husband and two children. She was educated and made a good living as a writer. She had a vibrant social life with a tight circle of friends. She could party until dawn and take her children to school the next day. From the outside, she appeared to have it all together. But, in truth, alcohol was slowly taking over, turning her world on its side. Waking up to another hangover, growing tired of embarrassing herself in front of friends and family, and feeling important moments slip away, Brenda made the most critical decision of her life: to get sober. She kept a diary of her first year (and beyond) in recovery, chronicling the struggles of finding a meeting she could look forward to, relating to her fellow alcoholics, and finding a sponsor with whom she connected. Along the way, she discovered the challenges and pleasures of living each day without alcohol, navigating a social circle where booze is a centerpiece, and dealing with her alcoholic father's terminal illness and denial. Brenda Wilhelmson's Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife offers insight, wisdom, and relevance for readers in recovery, as well as their loved ones, no matter how long they've been sober.
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1616490004
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 356
Book Description
A gripping first-hand story of personal triumph and recovery by a wealthy American housewife who appeared to have it all but who was, in reality, losing life's most important moments in an alcohol-induced haze. Brenda Wilhelmson was like a lot of women in her neighborhood. She had a husband and two children. She was educated and made a good living as a writer. She had a vibrant social life with a tight circle of friends. She could party until dawn and take her children to school the next day. From the outside, she appeared to have it all together. But, in truth, alcohol was slowly taking over, turning her world on its side. Waking up to another hangover, growing tired of embarrassing herself in front of friends and family, and feeling important moments slip away, Brenda made the most critical decision of her life: to get sober. She kept a diary of her first year (and beyond) in recovery, chronicling the struggles of finding a meeting she could look forward to, relating to her fellow alcoholics, and finding a sponsor with whom she connected. Along the way, she discovered the challenges and pleasures of living each day without alcohol, navigating a social circle where booze is a centerpiece, and dealing with her alcoholic father's terminal illness and denial. Brenda Wilhelmson's Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife offers insight, wisdom, and relevance for readers in recovery, as well as their loved ones, no matter how long they've been sober.
How to Be an American Housewife
Author: Margaret Dilloway
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 110118924X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 242
Book Description
A mother-daughter story about the strong pull of tradition, and the lure and cost of breaking free of it. When Shoko decided to marry an American GI and leave Japan, she had her parents' blessing, her brother's scorn, and a gift from her husband-a book on how to be a proper American housewife. As she crossed the ocean to America, Shoko also brought with her a secret she would need to keep her entire life... Half a century later, Shoko's plans to finally return to Japan and reconcile with her brother are derailed by illness. In her place, she sends her grown American daughter, Sue, a divorced single mother whose own life isn't what she hoped for. As Sue takes in Japan, with all its beauty and contradictions, she discovers another side to her mother and returns to America unexpectedly changed and irrevocably touched.
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 110118924X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 242
Book Description
A mother-daughter story about the strong pull of tradition, and the lure and cost of breaking free of it. When Shoko decided to marry an American GI and leave Japan, she had her parents' blessing, her brother's scorn, and a gift from her husband-a book on how to be a proper American housewife. As she crossed the ocean to America, Shoko also brought with her a secret she would need to keep her entire life... Half a century later, Shoko's plans to finally return to Japan and reconcile with her brother are derailed by illness. In her place, she sends her grown American daughter, Sue, a divorced single mother whose own life isn't what she hoped for. As Sue takes in Japan, with all its beauty and contradictions, she discovers another side to her mother and returns to America unexpectedly changed and irrevocably touched.
Diary of a Mad Housewife
Author: Sue Kaufman
Publisher: Seal Press
ISBN: 9781560256878
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 311
Book Description
First published in 1977, this novel of life in New York is written in the form of a diary of a disenchanted housewife who offers a frank, unsparing portrait of her terrors and passions. Reprint.
Publisher: Seal Press
ISBN: 9781560256878
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 311
Book Description
First published in 1977, this novel of life in New York is written in the form of a diary of a disenchanted housewife who offers a frank, unsparing portrait of her terrors and passions. Reprint.
The Dangerously Truthful Diary of a Sicilian Housewife
Author: Veronica Di Grigoli
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781514802250
Category : Man-woman relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 260
Book Description
When career-girl Veronica flies to Sicily for a friend's wedding, she accidentally falls in love with one of the groom's three-hundred cousins. A year later she has given up her job, house and friends, and is planning her own wedding with her Latin Lover in the shimmering heat of Sicily.
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781514802250
Category : Man-woman relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 260
Book Description
When career-girl Veronica flies to Sicily for a friend's wedding, she accidentally falls in love with one of the groom's three-hundred cousins. A year later she has given up her job, house and friends, and is planning her own wedding with her Latin Lover in the shimmering heat of Sicily.
Nella Last in the 1950s
Author: Patricia Malcolmson
Publisher: Profile Books
ISBN: 1847652867
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 336
Book Description
'I can never understand how the scribbles of such an ordinary person ... can possibly have value.' So wrote Nella Last in her diary on 2 September 1949. Sixty years on, tens of thousands of people have read and enjoyed the first two volumes of her uniquely detailed and moving diaries, written during World War II and its aftermath as part of the Mass Observation project, and the basis for BAFTA-winning drama Housewife 49 starring Victoria Wood. This third compelling volume sees Nella, now in her sixties, writing of what ordinary people felt during those years of growing prosperity in a modernising Britain. Her diary offers a detailed, moving and humorous narrative of daily life at a time that shaped the society we live in today. It is an account that's full of surprises as we learn more about her relationship with 'my husband' (never 'Will') and her fears of nuclear war. Outwardly Nella's life was commonplace; but behind this mask were a penetrating mind and a lively pen. As David Kynaston said on Radio 4, Nella Last 'will come to be seen as one of the major twentieth century English diarists.'
Publisher: Profile Books
ISBN: 1847652867
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 336
Book Description
'I can never understand how the scribbles of such an ordinary person ... can possibly have value.' So wrote Nella Last in her diary on 2 September 1949. Sixty years on, tens of thousands of people have read and enjoyed the first two volumes of her uniquely detailed and moving diaries, written during World War II and its aftermath as part of the Mass Observation project, and the basis for BAFTA-winning drama Housewife 49 starring Victoria Wood. This third compelling volume sees Nella, now in her sixties, writing of what ordinary people felt during those years of growing prosperity in a modernising Britain. Her diary offers a detailed, moving and humorous narrative of daily life at a time that shaped the society we live in today. It is an account that's full of surprises as we learn more about her relationship with 'my husband' (never 'Will') and her fears of nuclear war. Outwardly Nella's life was commonplace; but behind this mask were a penetrating mind and a lively pen. As David Kynaston said on Radio 4, Nella Last 'will come to be seen as one of the major twentieth century English diarists.'
Confessions of a High School Disaster
Author: Emma Chastain
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1481488759
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 352
Book Description
"Chloe Snow chonicles a year in her high school life, sharing the highs and lows of family, friendship, school, and love"--
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1481488759
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 352
Book Description
"Chloe Snow chonicles a year in her high school life, sharing the highs and lows of family, friendship, school, and love"--
Mrs Robinson's Disgrace
Author: Kate Summerscale
Publisher: A&C Black
ISBN: 1408831244
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 322
Book Description
When the married Isabella Robinson was introduced to the dashing Edward Lane at a party in 1850, she was utterly enchanted. He was 'fascinating', she told her diary, before chastising herself for being so susceptible to a man's charms. But a wish had taken hold of her, and she was to find it hard to shake...In one of the most notorious divorce cases of the nineteenth century, Isabella Robinson's scandalous secrets were exposed to the world. Kate Summerscale brings vividly to life a frustrated Victorian wife's longing for passion and learning, companionship and love, in a society clinging to rigid ideas about marriage and female sexuality.
Publisher: A&C Black
ISBN: 1408831244
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 322
Book Description
When the married Isabella Robinson was introduced to the dashing Edward Lane at a party in 1850, she was utterly enchanted. He was 'fascinating', she told her diary, before chastising herself for being so susceptible to a man's charms. But a wish had taken hold of her, and she was to find it hard to shake...In one of the most notorious divorce cases of the nineteenth century, Isabella Robinson's scandalous secrets were exposed to the world. Kate Summerscale brings vividly to life a frustrated Victorian wife's longing for passion and learning, companionship and love, in a society clinging to rigid ideas about marriage and female sexuality.
Mrs Miles's Diary
Author: Constance Miles
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1471125599
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 359
Book Description
Better times will come again - a fascinating insight into how ordinary people cope in extraordinary circumstances. At the outbreak of the Second World War Constance Miles was living with her husband in the pretty Surrey village of Shere. A prolific correspondent with a keen interest in current affairs, Constance kept a war journal from 1939 to 1943, recording in vivid detail what life was like for women on the Home Front. She writes of the impact of evacuees, of food shortages and the creative uses of what food there was, and the fears of the local populace, who wonder how they will cope. She tells of refugees from central Europe billeted in village houses and, later in the war, of the influx of American servicemen. She travels frequently to London, mourning the destruction of familiar landmarks and recording the devastation of the Blitz, but still finds time for tea in the Strand. In a time when people were asked to put national interests above their own personal comfort and liberty, a time when they, too, were reassured that they’d meet loved ones again, Mrs Miles’s diaries makes for compulsive reading.
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1471125599
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 359
Book Description
Better times will come again - a fascinating insight into how ordinary people cope in extraordinary circumstances. At the outbreak of the Second World War Constance Miles was living with her husband in the pretty Surrey village of Shere. A prolific correspondent with a keen interest in current affairs, Constance kept a war journal from 1939 to 1943, recording in vivid detail what life was like for women on the Home Front. She writes of the impact of evacuees, of food shortages and the creative uses of what food there was, and the fears of the local populace, who wonder how they will cope. She tells of refugees from central Europe billeted in village houses and, later in the war, of the influx of American servicemen. She travels frequently to London, mourning the destruction of familiar landmarks and recording the devastation of the Blitz, but still finds time for tea in the Strand. In a time when people were asked to put national interests above their own personal comfort and liberty, a time when they, too, were reassured that they’d meet loved ones again, Mrs Miles’s diaries makes for compulsive reading.