Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date PDF Download
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Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1540113698
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 49
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Book Description
I’ve no idea what’s going in that pea-brained mind of yours. Perhaps it’s all that crack you’ve been smoking. Who knows? And who cares? You are a scoundrel after all, so it isn’t hard to see your angle. Now you’ve set your sites on the ugliest girl in the room, if not on earth. Even though you’ve set the bar low—way low—you’re not sure how to proceed. Perhaps you could use some advice before pissing your precious time and money away? Good, for I have just the thing for you. From one scoundrel to another… Approximately 11,000 words.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1540113698
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 49
Get Book Here
Book Description
I’ve no idea what’s going in that pea-brained mind of yours. Perhaps it’s all that crack you’ve been smoking. Who knows? And who cares? You are a scoundrel after all, so it isn’t hard to see your angle. Now you’ve set your sites on the ugliest girl in the room, if not on earth. Even though you’ve set the bar low—way low—you’re not sure how to proceed. Perhaps you could use some advice before pissing your precious time and money away? Good, for I have just the thing for you. From one scoundrel to another… Approximately 11,000 words.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1624545386
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 44
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Book Description
You found her! The hottest chick you've ever laid eyes on wants you and only you. But aren't you forgetting something? You're broke, and this chick is way out of your league. She's scorching hot and you're…well…lucky to have her. Or so you think… This short volume will help demystify the impact of a high maintenance hottie and encourage you to resist the urge to go into debt just to appease her. Approximately 7,000 words.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1624545033
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 28
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Book Description
Perkins Deadwood can't believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. ¡Ay, caramba! Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas going to really stink? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,100 words.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1533731373
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 26
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Book Description
Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten. Approximately 1,600 words. DIAGNOSIS: Less filling. Doesn’t contain many actual farts.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1393329438
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 24
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Book Description
Bill Bluster, founder and visionary behind the oddball Bluster Space Entertainment, LLC, sees an opportunity. When a pink asteroid is stopped short of striking earth's 15th colony Syphus, he puts in a bid and snaps it up. Now in his possession, he's not sure what to do with it. How does one go about promoting a pink asteroid that doesn't look the least bit menacing? By promising a gay, old time, of course! Approximately 1,000 words.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 138624855X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32
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Book Description
THE F**KING IDIOT . . . Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas. CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . . That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of toxic gas at his disposal. Can anyone stop his evil plot to gas the world? AND GETS F**KED OVER BY A MYSTERIOUS DIPSH*T AGENT . . . By his letter he is known. W. W for Wacky. W for Wicked. W for WTF?! WILL THE INDELIBLE SH*THEAD GET HIS REVENGE? Or is mankind totally f**ked? Disempowered is the eighth episode of an ongoing serial, created specifically for the Eight Hour Fiction Challenge. Each installment is approximately 3,000-4,000 words.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1513025643
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 29
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Book Description
Hank Larmspitz has a plan. Well, sort of. He's going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he's going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship. Exactly what does he have in mind? Dan Dinkerleaf, a local correspondent for KAAS-LD Eureeka, wants to find out. And when he discovers Hank's true intentions, his patience becomes paper thin. "Seriously?" he blurts out. "Don't you think your theory is a bit…oh, I don't know...implausible?" "Watch close and you might learn something." Hank cracked his knuckles and pulled out a helping of his favorite brand. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,100 words.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1533737649
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 24
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Book Description
Earl Muggs wanted a wife. Instead, he got the devil, or close to it. His witch of a wife Helga doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, and certainly doesn’t polish yours truly. Gagnabbit! So what’s a man to do? Get revenge, that’s what! And mental midget Muggs knows just how… Approximately 1,200 words. WARNING: Contains toe cheese.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1624544827
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 30
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Book Description
Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1393957056
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 89
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Book Description
Can you believe it? Four more stinky stories have squeaked out, including these ghastly ghost turds: PUT ANOTHER FART IN THE JUKEBOX, BABY When Brad Blemmings meets his blind date at Fifty Something, a retro shake and burger joint, he's not sure what to expect. But the goth beauty Maimah is quite a handful, and then there's the matter of the farting jukebox in the corner... PEDO FLAMBÉ When an old man hobbles into the Palazzio and demands his favorite dish, the peculiar Pedo Flambé, the wait staff isn't sure what to make of it. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have such a thing on our menu." His baby-faced waiter Zach Spitz frowns. "You sure about that?" The old man slaps down a $100 bill. "Of course, sir. Right away, sir!" Zach's manager snatches up the bill and runs back to the kitchen. FART LOVER SUPREME Kimberly Grant is ruthless, and wants a taco. Thankfully, she's found a sucker to give it to her. Big time! DON'T COUNT YOUR CHICKEN FARTS BEFORE THEY HATCH When Miles Puggsley spends his last dollar on a carton of empty eggs, he realizes he's reached rock bottom and the end is near. But there's a basement to the misery he now endures, especially for the once proud DMV specialist turned exorcist. Can a band of wild chicken farts change his fortunes? No, probably not. BONUS: THE HAIRIEST BUTT The search for the hairiest butt on Venus leads to explosive results. Approximately 15,500 words.
