Being Dead Is No Excuse

Being Dead Is No Excuse PDF Author: Gayden Metcalfe
Publisher: Hachette+ORM
ISBN: 1401305741
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 214

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Book Description
A hilarious guide to the intricate rituals, customs, and etiquette surrounding death in the South-and a practical collection of recipes for the final send-off. As author Gayden Metcalfe asserts, people in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down south, they don't forget you when you've up and died-they may even like you better and visit you more often! But just as there is an appropriate way to live your life in the South, there is an equally essentially tasteful way of departing it-and the funeral is the final social event of your existence so it must be handled flawlessly. Metcalfe portrays this slice of American culture from the manners, customs, and the tomato aspic with mayonnaise that characterize the Delta way of death. Southerners love to swap tales, and Gayden Metcalfe, native of Greenville, MS, founder of the Greenville Arts Council and chairman of the St. James Episcopal Church Bazaar, is steeped in the stories and traditions of this rich region. She reminisces about the prominent family that drank too much and got the munchies the night before the big event-and left not a crumb for the funeral (Naturally some early rising, quick-witted ladies from the church saved the day, so the story demonstrates some solutions to potential entertaining disasters!). Then there was the lady who allocated money to have "Home on the Range" sung at the service, and the family that insisted on a portrait of their mother in her casket, only to refuse to pay for it on the grounds that "Mama looks so sad." Each chapter ends with an authentic southern recipe that will come in handy if you "plan to die tastefully", including Boiled Bourbon Custard; Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake; Pickled Shrimp; Homemade Mayonnaise; and Homemade Rolls.

Being Dead Is No Excuse

Being Dead Is No Excuse PDF Author: Gayden Metcalfe
Publisher: Hachette+ORM
ISBN: 1401305741
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 214

Get Book Here

Book Description
A hilarious guide to the intricate rituals, customs, and etiquette surrounding death in the South-and a practical collection of recipes for the final send-off. As author Gayden Metcalfe asserts, people in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down south, they don't forget you when you've up and died-they may even like you better and visit you more often! But just as there is an appropriate way to live your life in the South, there is an equally essentially tasteful way of departing it-and the funeral is the final social event of your existence so it must be handled flawlessly. Metcalfe portrays this slice of American culture from the manners, customs, and the tomato aspic with mayonnaise that characterize the Delta way of death. Southerners love to swap tales, and Gayden Metcalfe, native of Greenville, MS, founder of the Greenville Arts Council and chairman of the St. James Episcopal Church Bazaar, is steeped in the stories and traditions of this rich region. She reminisces about the prominent family that drank too much and got the munchies the night before the big event-and left not a crumb for the funeral (Naturally some early rising, quick-witted ladies from the church saved the day, so the story demonstrates some solutions to potential entertaining disasters!). Then there was the lady who allocated money to have "Home on the Range" sung at the service, and the family that insisted on a portrait of their mother in her casket, only to refuse to pay for it on the grounds that "Mama looks so sad." Each chapter ends with an authentic southern recipe that will come in handy if you "plan to die tastefully", including Boiled Bourbon Custard; Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake; Pickled Shrimp; Homemade Mayonnaise; and Homemade Rolls.

Death Is No Excuse

Death Is No Excuse PDF Author: David Baker
Publisher: Bookbaby
ISBN: 9781098392741
Category : Law
Languages : en
Pages : 230

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Book Description
Death Is No Excuse is an insightful roadmap through the legal potholes of unplanned death and disability, offered by a veteran attorney who's handled the worst of these cases for over forty years. It's a plain-spoken, surprisingly entertaining guide to everything you need to know about planning for death or disability, as well as other calamities that can occur along the way, be they divorce, avoidable tax burdens or getting ripped off as you toddle into old age.

The Valedictorian of Being Dead

The Valedictorian of Being Dead PDF Author: Heather B. Armstrong
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501197061
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 219

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Book Description
From New York Times bestselling author and blogger Heather B. Armstrong comes an honest and irreverent memoir—reminiscent of the New York Times bestseller Brain on Fire—about her experience as the third person ever to participate in an experimental treatment for depression involving ten rounds of a chemically induced coma approximating brain death. For years, Heather B. Armstrong has alluded to her struggle with depression on her website, dooce. It’s scattered throughout her archive, where it weaves its way through posts about pop culture, music, and motherhood. In 2016, Heather found herself in the depths of a depression she just couldn’t shake, an episode darker and longer than anything she had previously experienced. She had never felt so discouraged by the thought of waking up in the morning, and it threatened to destroy her life. For the sake of herself and her family, Heather decided to risk it all by participating in an experimental clinical trial. Now, for the first time, Heather recalls the torturous eighteen months of suicidal depression she endured and the month-long experimental study in which doctors used propofol anesthesia to quiet all brain activity for a full fifteen minutes before bringing her back from a flatline. Ten times. The experience wasn’t easy. Not for Heather or her family. But a switch was flipped, and Heather hasn’t experienced a single moment of suicidal depression since. “Breathtakingly honest” (Lisa Genova, New York Times bestselling author), self-deprecating, and scientifically fascinating, The Valedictorian of Being Dead brings to light a groundbreaking new treatment for depression. The Valedictorian of Being Dead was previously published with the subtitle “The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live.”

That's Not What Happened

That's Not What Happened PDF Author: Kody Keplinger
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 133818654X
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 310

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Book Description
From New York Times bestseller Kody Keplinger comes an astonishing and thought-provoking exploration of the aftermath of tragedy, the power of narrative, and how we remember what we've lost. It's been three years since the Virgil County High School Massacre. Three years since my best friend, Sarah, was killed in a bathroom stall during the mass shooting. Everyone knows Sarah's story--that she died proclaiming her faith. But it's not true. I know because I was with her when she died. I didn't say anything then, and people got hurt because of it. Now Sarah's parents are publishing a book about her, so this might be my last chance to set the record straight . . . but I'm not the only survivor with a story to tell about what did--and didn't--happen that day. Except Sarah's martyrdom is important to a lot of people, people who don't take kindly to what I'm trying to do. And the more I learn, the less certain I am about what's right. I don't know what will be worse: the guilt of staying silent or the consequences of speaking up . . .

The Southern Sympathy Cookbook: Funeral Food with a Twist

The Southern Sympathy Cookbook: Funeral Food with a Twist PDF Author: Perre Coleman Magness
Publisher: The Countryman Press
ISBN: 1682680398
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 312

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Book Description
Hearty bites for the heavy-hearted “He had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, his homemade canned fig preserves, and buttermilk served in martini glasses garnished with cornbread.” —Obituary from Gulfport, Mississippi So-called “funeral food” is having a moment. Comforting casseroles; jugs of sweet tea; creamy, cheesy potatoes—all these foods provide sympathy and sustenance for the bereaved. The Southern Sympathy Cookbook includes unexpectedly humorous obituaries and anecdotes alongside staples of Southern funerals such as: Three Bean Salad with Bacon Vinaigrette Fried Chicken Pulled Pork with Homemade Barbecue Sauce Biscuit Cinnamon Rolls Whether feeding a congregation, delivering a meal to a friend in need, or cooking with weekday leftovers in mind, home cooks will embrace these recipes, guaranteed to comfort and to please a crowd.

You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero!

You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero! PDF Author: Bob Powers
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 1429986506
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 217

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Book Description
Why Do All the Nice Girls End Up Getting Kidnapped and Held for Ransom? In this book, YOU, the reader, are a thirtysomething part-time actor/full-time waiter suddenly caught up in a kidnapping. Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE. What will you do? Will you go to the police and ask for help? Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn't misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment? Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunk? The choice is yours! You awake to the sound of the phone ringing. "Hello?" You hear a man's voice. It is muffled. "We've got Julia." "Wait, what do you mean?" "We have kidnapped your girlfriend. If you ever want to see her again---" "Whoa, she's not my girlfriend," you say. "I just met her. I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think." "We understand," the voice says. "But she's new to the city, and presently, you're all she has. Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we'll blow her head off." If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to page 173. If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183. BE VERY CAREFUL! You're directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST-APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING! It's YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE. All you've got to do is decide which page you want to turn to. JUST MAKE A CHOICE!

Sometimes I Lie

Sometimes I Lie PDF Author: Alice Feeney
Publisher: Flatiron Books
ISBN: 1250144833
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 272

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Book Description
ALICE FEENEYS NEW YORK TIMES AND INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER “Boldly plotted, tightly knotted—a provocative true-or-false thriller that deepens and darkens to its ink-black finale. Marvelous.” —AJ Finn, author of The Woman in the Window My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me: 1. I’m in a coma. 2. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. 3. Sometimes I lie. Amber wakes up in a hospital. She can’t move. She can’t speak. She can’t open her eyes. She can hear everyone around her, but they have no idea. Amber doesn’t remember what happened, but she has a suspicion her husband had something to do with it. Alternating between her paralyzed present, the week before her accident, and a series of childhood diaries from twenty years ago, this brilliant psychological thriller asks: Is something really a lie if you believe it's the truth?

It's Kind of a Funny Story

It's Kind of a Funny Story PDF Author: Ned Vizzini
Publisher: Disney Electronic Content
ISBN: 1423141083
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 452

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Book Description
Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.

The Brief History of the Dead

The Brief History of the Dead PDF Author: Kevin Brockmeier
Publisher: Vintage
ISBN: 0375424237
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 270

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Book Description
From Kevin Brockmeier, one of this generation's most inventive young writers, comes a striking new novel about death, life, and the mysterious place in between. The City is inhabited by those who have departed Earth but are still remembered by the living. They will reside in this afterlife until they are completely forgotten. But the City is shrinking, and the residents clearing out. Some of the holdouts, like Luka Sims, who produces the City’s only newspaper, are wondering what exactly is going on. Others, like Coleman Kinzler, believe it is the beginning of the end. Meanwhile, Laura Byrd is trapped in an Antarctic research station, her supplies are running low, her radio finds only static, and the power is failing. With little choice, Laura sets out across the ice to look for help, but time is running out. Kevin Brockmeier alternates these two storylines to create a lyrical and haunting story about love, loss and the power of memory.

Come to the Table

Come to the Table PDF Author: Benita Long
Publisher: HarperChristian + ORM
ISBN: 1418586447
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 210

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Book Description
A cookbook with a focus on entertaining family and friends, featuring photographs of table settings and meals, as well inspirational quotes and Scriptures. God intends for us, as sacred life travelers, to celebrate and enjoy His bounty. Every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor for it is the gift of God. This celebration of life was intended by God to be a way of life now and as preparation for a future event in which as followers of Christ, all are invited to participate. God intends for us to enjoy his blessings in abundance. Come to the Table is a threefold feast. For the mind, there are thought-provoking quotations from great poets and thinkers. For the spirit, stunning photographs and inspirational Scriptures transport you to another realm. For the body, there are hearty and delectable recipes. Inside the collection, you’ll find soothing dishes for the soul including . . . Parmesan Grits Casserole, Grilled Lemon Chicken, Cheddar Squash Strata, Lamb Kabobs and much more! Throughout Come to the Table, very few people appear. This is our personal way of inviting you to claim each setting as your own. “That the mountains shall drip with new wine, the hills shall flow with milk, and all the brooks of Judah shall be flooded with water” [Joel 3:18].