Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road PDF Download
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Author: Stuart McLean
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781906051266
Category : Scottish wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 160
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Book Description
This little book doesn't merely poke fun at Sassenachs, Glaswegians, Aberdonians, Dundonians and Teeries. No, it manages to have a go at everyone. From kilts and haggis to whisky, footie and thriftiness, this hilarious collection of Scottish jokes is a Nevis of Laughs. XXXXXA Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Scotsman shouts, "Awa ye eijit, can ye no tell that's a foo o coos keich?!" (Translated: Begone you idiot, can't you tell it's full of cow shit?!) The man shouts back, "I'm English. Speak English, I don't understand you!" To which the Scotsman wholeheartedly responds, "Use both hands, you'll get more in." XXXX Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous. At a U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he slowly started to clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet... "Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"
Author: Stuart McLean
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781906051266
Category : Scottish wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 160
Get Book Here
Book Description
This little book doesn't merely poke fun at Sassenachs, Glaswegians, Aberdonians, Dundonians and Teeries. No, it manages to have a go at everyone. From kilts and haggis to whisky, footie and thriftiness, this hilarious collection of Scottish jokes is a Nevis of Laughs. XXXXXA Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Scotsman shouts, "Awa ye eijit, can ye no tell that's a foo o coos keich?!" (Translated: Begone you idiot, can't you tell it's full of cow shit?!) The man shouts back, "I'm English. Speak English, I don't understand you!" To which the Scotsman wholeheartedly responds, "Use both hands, you'll get more in." XXXX Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous. At a U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he slowly started to clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet... "Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"
Author: Stuart McLean
Publisher: Crombie Jardine Publishing
ISBN: 1906051348
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 68
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Book Description
When the Scots tell a joke it's usually at their own expense. So this collection of gems pokes fun at just about everyone and everything from kilts and haggis through footie and thriftiness to Sassenachs, Teeries, and Glaswegians. Some of the jokes are old favourites retold, some are brand new, and some are a few specimens found on that internet thingy which have been massaged to make them almost funny.
Author:
Publisher:
ISBN: 0520280644
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 294
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Book Description
Author: Jake McGowan-Lowe
Publisher: Ticktock Books, Limited
ISBN: 9781848988521
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Jake McGowan-Lowe is a boy with a very unusual hobby. Since the age of 7, he has been photographing and blogging about his incredible finds and now has a worldwide following, including 100,000 visitors from the US and Canada. Follow Jake as he explores the animal world through this new 64-page book. He takes you on a world wide journey of his own collection, and introduces you to other amazing animals from the four corners of the globe. Find out what a cow's tooth, a rabbit's rib and a duck's quack look like and much, much more besides.
Author: Morgan Matson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1471122670
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 434
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Book Description
A perfect summertime read for fans of John Green, Stephanie Perkins, and Sarah Dessen: It was Sloane who yanked Emily out of her shell and made life 100% interesting. But right before what should have been the most epic summer, Sloane just…disappears. All she leaves behind is a to-do list. On it, thirteen Sloane-inspired tasks that Emily would normally never try. But what if they could bring her best friend back? Apple picking at night? Okay, easy enough. Dance until dawn? Sure. Why not? Kiss a stranger? Um... Emily now has this unexpected summer, and the help of Frank Porter (totally unexpected), to check things off Sloane's list. Who knows what she’ll find? 'Some books leave a very real mark on you and Since You’ve Been Gone is one of those utterly brilliant books' - The Guardian 'A winning blend of touching moments, memorable characters and situational humor takes readers to a surprising revelation at the story’s end.' - Kirkus Reviews 'Morgan Matson is the epitome of YA contemporary.' - Ariel Bissett, Booktuber and blogger
Author: Jack Hitt
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9780743261111
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 276
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Book Description
Off the Road is a delightfully irreverent tour of the 500-mile pilgrimage route from France to Santiago de Compostela, Spain--sights people believe God once touched. Harper's contributing editor Jack Hitt writes of the many colorful pilgrims he met along the way, in this offbeat journey through landscape and belief.
Author: Catherine Carvell
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781922089717
Category : Ecology
Languages : en
Pages : 123
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Book Description
Darcy Moon is an ordinary girl with ordinary problems. She's low on cash and low on the necessary street cred to fit in with the cool crowd. But Darcy's life is about to take a great leap forward. When a freaked-out frog asks for help, it's up to her to fix the food chain, save the swamp and prove that money can't buy everything. This slimy adventure story is an enjoyable romp with environmental themes.
Author: Sue Townsend
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0060533994
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 274
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Book Description
Adrian Mole's first love, Pandora, has left him; a neighbor, Mr. Lucas, appears to be seducing his mother (and what does that mean for his father?); the BBC refuses to publish his poetry; and his dog swallowed the tree off the Christmas cake. "Why" indeed.
Author: Robert Burns
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 66
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Book Description
Author: Dilys Jones
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781899874071
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 100
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Book Description
A pocket-sized biography of Robert Burns, including 25 places to visit related to his life, many of his renowned poems, and many illustrations.
