They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?

They Shoot Canoes, Don't They? PDF Author: Patrick F. McManus
Publisher: Holt Paperbacks
ISBN: 1466809523
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 240

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Book Description
With tongue pressed firmly in cheek and a gentle but penetrating eye for human foibles, Patrick F. McManus celebrates the hidden pleasures, unappreciated lore, and opportunities for disaster to be found in the recreations of camping, hunting, and fishing in his hilarious collection They Shoot Canoes, Don’t They? Gathered here for the reader’s edification are such treasures as the true but little known story of the discovery of the efficacy of live bait by Genghis Khan’s chef, an examination of the precarious and perhaps fanatical expertise required for ice fishing, and a consideration of the circumstances that can cause a deer to ride a bicycle. Among additional topics explored are The Crouch Hop and Other Useful Outdoor Steps, The Sensuous Angler, and Psychic Powers for Outdoorsmen. Included, too, is The Hunter’s Dictionary, an invaluable lexicon that helps the novice sportsman understand such arcane terminology as “Ooooooeee-ah-ah-ah! (If there’s one thing I hate, it’s putting on cold, wet pants in the morning)” and “Baff mast pime ig bead feas mid miff pife! (That’s the last time I try to eat peas in the dark with my hunting knife!)” The author’s appreciation of outdoor life began in his early boyhood, when he absorbed a wealth of improbable information imparted by the old woodsman Rancid Crabtree, “who bathed only on leap years.” Young McManus also enjoyed special adventures with his ill-remembered sidekick, Retch Sweeney, and another boon companion of days gone by, the loquacious family dog, Strange, whose exploits as a hunter were limited to assaulting stray chickens and on one memorable occasion a skunk. “McManus here follows up A Fine and Pleasant Misery with a collection of sketches that launches him into the front ranks of outdoor humorists.”—Library Journal

They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?

They Shoot Canoes, Don't They? PDF Author: Patrick F. McManus
Publisher: Holt Paperbacks
ISBN: 1466809523
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 240

Get Book

Book Description
With tongue pressed firmly in cheek and a gentle but penetrating eye for human foibles, Patrick F. McManus celebrates the hidden pleasures, unappreciated lore, and opportunities for disaster to be found in the recreations of camping, hunting, and fishing in his hilarious collection They Shoot Canoes, Don’t They? Gathered here for the reader’s edification are such treasures as the true but little known story of the discovery of the efficacy of live bait by Genghis Khan’s chef, an examination of the precarious and perhaps fanatical expertise required for ice fishing, and a consideration of the circumstances that can cause a deer to ride a bicycle. Among additional topics explored are The Crouch Hop and Other Useful Outdoor Steps, The Sensuous Angler, and Psychic Powers for Outdoorsmen. Included, too, is The Hunter’s Dictionary, an invaluable lexicon that helps the novice sportsman understand such arcane terminology as “Ooooooeee-ah-ah-ah! (If there’s one thing I hate, it’s putting on cold, wet pants in the morning)” and “Baff mast pime ig bead feas mid miff pife! (That’s the last time I try to eat peas in the dark with my hunting knife!)” The author’s appreciation of outdoor life began in his early boyhood, when he absorbed a wealth of improbable information imparted by the old woodsman Rancid Crabtree, “who bathed only on leap years.” Young McManus also enjoyed special adventures with his ill-remembered sidekick, Retch Sweeney, and another boon companion of days gone by, the loquacious family dog, Strange, whose exploits as a hunter were limited to assaulting stray chickens and on one memorable occasion a skunk. “McManus here follows up A Fine and Pleasant Misery with a collection of sketches that launches him into the front ranks of outdoor humorists.”—Library Journal

Never Sniff A Gift Fish

Never Sniff A Gift Fish PDF Author: Patrick F. McManus
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 0805000313
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 226

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Book Description
Here are the hilarious tales of a sportsman's life in the great and often not-so great outdoors. McManus offers more cracker-barrel wisdom and zany insights into the agonies and ecstasies of hunting, fishing, and camping.

A Fine and Pleasant Misery

A Fine and Pleasant Misery PDF Author: Patrick F. McManus
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 0805000321
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 226

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Book Description
Witty cautionary tales of outdoor life.

The Grasshopper Trap

The Grasshopper Trap PDF Author: Patrick F. McManus
Publisher: Macmillan + ORM
ISBN: 1466809426
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 207

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Book Description
Patrick F. McManus, the “funniest guy in the Outdoor Life and Field & Stream gang...offers another bag of whimsy in the Great Outdoors”* with The Grasshopper Trap. In this collection of thirty zany stories, spoofing camping, fishing, and other outdoor recreational activities, McManus shares his hilarious wilderness misadventures. From facing an angry bear with an unloaded gun and the folly of running a boat while it’s still on the trailer to not questioning the ingredients found in camp cookout cuisine and the best methods of catching grasshoppers, no one knows how to express Mother Nature’s sense of humor like Patrick F. McManus. “It’s enough to tickle the most rabid member of the National Rifle Association.”—*Kirkus Reviews

Paddle Your Own Canoe

Paddle Your Own Canoe PDF Author: Nick Offerman
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0698138325
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 352

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Book Description
Parks and Recreation actor and Making It co-host Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in this New York Times bestseller. Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman—who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation’s Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking—he runs his own woodshop—Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman’s childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois—“I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield”—to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally. It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees. A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety, Paddle Your Own Canoe will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even hand craft (and paddle) their own canoes.

Never Cry "Arp!" and Other Great Adventures

Never Cry Author: Patrick F. McManus
Publisher: Macmillan + ORM
ISBN: 1466809477
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 105

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Book Description
America's best-selling outdoor humorist for adults has a secret following: middle-grade and young-adult readers. Never Cry "Arp!" is a lively collection of twelve stories about young Pat's misadventures in the Great American Wilderness. All the McManus regulars are here: Crazy Eddie Muldoon, the best friend everybody wishes they had (and everybody's mother wishes they didn't); Rancid Crabtree, the good-hearted, if gamey, woodsman; Pat's skunk dog, Strange, who lives up to his name; and Pat's pal, Retch Sweeney, who does, too. This is a book for kids who love to start fishing at 4am (at least they say they do) or for those who prefer to experience the mighty outdoors in the safety of their homes. "Everybody should read Patrick McManus," said the New York Times. Now, everybody can.

The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories

The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories PDF Author: Patrick F. McManus
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1620877554
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 195

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Book Description
The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories is a hilarious addition to Patrick F. McManus’s existing work in humor. The author weighs in on his childhood, everyday life, and outdoor tales with his typical exaggerated commentary that will elicit a belly laugh from all types of readers. Read about the antics of Patrick’s friends Rancid Crabtree and Retch Sweeney in such stories as “Shaping Up for the Hunt” and “Bear Hunters.” McManus plays off the recent obsession with hoarders in his surprising story “The Lady Who Kept Things.” In the titular story, meet Patrick’s horse, Huckleberry, and enjoy the experience of all the problems that come along with owning your own horse—or keeping him in the garage. Other great stories include: “Catch-And-Eaters,” about the importance of a forked stick when fishing “$7000 TV Historical Extravaganza,” a look at one director’s loose interpretation of historical accuracy and political correctness “A Lake Too Far,” concerning the woes of Patrick and his wife, Bun, on a fateful birding trip in Australia “Chicken Chronicles,” which involves Patrick’s memory of wandering around naked in the chicken yard when guests came to call So pull up a chair, sit back, and enjoy laughing to the hilarious adventures of Patrick F. McManus in The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories.

Kerplunk!

Kerplunk! PDF Author: Patrick F. McManus
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743280504
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242

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Book Description
Presents a collection of curmudgeonly tales on Pacific Northwest country living as enjoyed by both outdoorsmen and armchair enthusiasts, in a volume that explores the lighter side of such topics as gun safes, fly tying, and bird dog flatulence.

How I Got This Way

How I Got This Way PDF Author: Patrick F. McManus
Publisher: Macmillan + ORM
ISBN: 1429900695
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242

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Book Description
Patrick McManus, the bestselling author of such hilarious books as A Fine and Pleasant Misery and Never Sniff a Gift Fish, now offers readers solid thoughts on the qualities that define leadership, beginning with the need to be tall, and much more, in this outrageous collection of short pieces that reveals his tortuous trip along the writer's path.

They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?

They Shoot Canoes, Don't They? PDF Author: Patrick McManus
Publisher: Turtleback Books
ISBN: 9780833526717
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
McManus celebrates the hidden pleasures, unappreciated lore, and opportunities for disaster to be found in such outdoor recreations as camping, hunting, and fishing.