World's Dirtiest Jokes PDF Download
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Author: Mad Comedy
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781077124349
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 452
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Book Description
Huge compendium of jokes so filthy, so offensive, so disturbing that this book has been BANNED ON CAMPUS! Millenial Workers A man was warned repeatedly about hiring lazy, know-it-all, crybaby millenials to work in his factory. But he remembered when he was young and just starting out, so he wanted to give them a chance. One morning, one of his tattooed millenials knocked on his office door. "Yes?" he said. "Boss, I have a problem," she said. "What is it?" the boss asked. "Well, I don't think it's appropriate that we test our products on animals. It's cruel." "I realize your generation is very sensitive to these things," the boss said thoughtfully. "But we have to ensure our products are safe before we sell them to consumers. Shampoo companies test on animals, cosmetic companies test on animals. It's a very common practice." "But Boss, we make dildoes!" she exclaimed. Medical Problem A man says to his doctor, "You gotta help me, doc!" The doctor says, "What's your problem?" The guy replies, "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole', so I give the missus a quick one, then go to work. On the way to work, I car pool with the next door neighbor's wife, who gives me a blow job during the ride to work." The doctor raises his eyebrows. The man continues, "Once I get to work, I do some work, but after about two hours, I go into the photocopy room and haveit off with the one of the young male interns in the office. At lunch I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a good bonking. Later in the afternoon, I give it to the boss's wife, long and hard." The doctor's mouth falls open. The man continues, "Then I go home and slip the maid a few inches, and then at night I give the missus another screw." "Oh, I see," said the doctor, trying to maintain his composure. "But what exactly is your problem?" The man says, "Well, it hurts when I masturbate."
Author: Mad Comedy
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781077124349
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 452
Get Book Here
Book Description
Huge compendium of jokes so filthy, so offensive, so disturbing that this book has been BANNED ON CAMPUS! Millenial Workers A man was warned repeatedly about hiring lazy, know-it-all, crybaby millenials to work in his factory. But he remembered when he was young and just starting out, so he wanted to give them a chance. One morning, one of his tattooed millenials knocked on his office door. "Yes?" he said. "Boss, I have a problem," she said. "What is it?" the boss asked. "Well, I don't think it's appropriate that we test our products on animals. It's cruel." "I realize your generation is very sensitive to these things," the boss said thoughtfully. "But we have to ensure our products are safe before we sell them to consumers. Shampoo companies test on animals, cosmetic companies test on animals. It's a very common practice." "But Boss, we make dildoes!" she exclaimed. Medical Problem A man says to his doctor, "You gotta help me, doc!" The doctor says, "What's your problem?" The guy replies, "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole', so I give the missus a quick one, then go to work. On the way to work, I car pool with the next door neighbor's wife, who gives me a blow job during the ride to work." The doctor raises his eyebrows. The man continues, "Once I get to work, I do some work, but after about two hours, I go into the photocopy room and haveit off with the one of the young male interns in the office. At lunch I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a good bonking. Later in the afternoon, I give it to the boss's wife, long and hard." The doctor's mouth falls open. The man continues, "Then I go home and slip the maid a few inches, and then at night I give the missus another screw." "Oh, I see," said the doctor, trying to maintain his composure. "But what exactly is your problem?" The man says, "Well, it hurts when I masturbate."
Author: Lynne Truss
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101218290
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 119
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Book Description
We all know the basics of punctuation. Or do we? A look at most neighborhood signage tells a different story. Through sloppy usage and low standards on the internet, in email, and now text messages, we have made proper punctuation an endangered species. In Eats, Shoots & Leaves, former editor Lynne Truss dares to say, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. This is a book for people who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled. From the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, this lively history makes a powerful case for the preservation of a system of printing conventions that is much too subtle to be mucked about with.
Author: Mr. J
Publisher: Castle Books
ISBN: 9780890098127
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 368
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Book Description
Giant Book of Dirty Jokes is a collection of graphic, shocking, and especially funny jokes and anecdotes.
Author: Mike Oxbent
Publisher: Ulysses Press
ISBN: 9781569755815
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 279
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Book Description
THE DIRTIEST, MOST HILARIOUS JOKES EVER ALLOWED IN PRINT! World-famous comedians Harry P. Ness and Mike Oxbent (think about it) have joined together to create over 1200 of the dirtiest, filthiest, nastiest and most twisted and hilarious jokes ever. Read them at your leisure. But repeat them at your own risk. When does a Cub become a Boy Scout? When he eats his first Brownie. Why do men find it hard to make eye contact? Because tits don't have eyes. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw. What's black and crispy and comes on a stick? Joan of Arc. What do you call that useless piece of skin on the end of a penis? A man. How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy. How is a fat girl like a unicycle? They're both fun to ride but nobody would be caught dead on one.
Author: Slavoj Zizek
Publisher: MIT Press
ISBN: 0262535300
Category : Philosophy
Languages : en
Pages : 162
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Book Description
Žižek as comedian: jokes in the service of philosophy. “A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.”—Ludwig Wittgenstein The good news is that this book offers an entertaining but enlightening compilation of Žižekisms. Unlike any other book by Slavoj Žižek, this compact arrangement of jokes culled from his writings provides an index to certain philosophical, political, and sexual themes that preoccupy him. Žižek's Jokes contains the set-ups and punch lines—as well as the offenses and insults—that Žižek is famous for, all in less than 200 pages. So what's the bad news? There is no bad news. There's just the inimitable Slavoj Žižek, disguised as an impossibly erudite, politically incorrect uncle, beginning a sentence, “There is an old Jewish joke, loved by Derrida...“ For Žižek, jokes are amusing stories that offer a shortcut to philosophical insight. He illustrates the logic of the Hegelian triad, for example, with three variations of the “Not tonight, dear, I have a headache” classic: first the wife claims a migraine; then the husband does; then the wife exclaims, “Darling, I have a terrible migraine, so let's have some sex to refresh me!” A punch line about a beer bottle provides a Lacanian lesson about one signifier. And a “truly obscene” version of the famous “aristocrats” joke has the family offering a short course in Hegelian thought rather than a display of unspeakables. Žižek's Jokes contains every joke cited, paraphrased, or narrated in Žižek's work in English (including some in unpublished manuscripts), including different versions of the same joke that make different points in different contexts. The larger point being that comedy is central to Žižek's seriousness.
Author: Mr. "P."
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Jewish wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 140
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Book Description
Author: Mad Comedy
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781721894871
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 162
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Book Description
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge." Outrageous, offensive, and undeniably funny, this collection of hundreds of the dirtiest, raunchiest, nastiest jokes ever compiled is sure to leave you rolling in laughter. One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a naked man tied to a large tree. The hiker ran to the man, and while removing his backpack, asked, "What happened to you?" The tied-up man began to tell him, "I picked up a hitchhiker and a few miles down the road he pulled a gun on me. He told me to pull over and took my car, my money, and all of my clothes. Then he tied me up to this tree." The hiker unzipped his fly and said, "Boy, this just isn't your day, is it?"
Author: L. O. L. Funny Jokes Club
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781535541541
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 36
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Book Description
Funny & Uncensored Dirty Jokes for Adults! Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body?Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! 100+ funny dirty jokes for adults Silly and hilarious jokes, comedy, and humor Lots of funny jokes and entertainment With this MASSIVE collection of dirty jokes for adults you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book. Dirty Jokes for Adults! Sex jokes Blonde jokes Divorce jokes Men and Women jokes Private parts jokes 100+ funny and hilarious dirty jokes! The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!
Author: Mr. J
Publisher: Trafalgar Square Publishing
ISBN: 9780006377849
Category : Sex
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Whether it’s the one about the elephant and the canary or the one about the travelling salesman and the farmer’s daughter, Mr J has gathered together the very best – the very funniest – from a large crop of dirty jokes.
Author: Rudy A. Swale
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1569759456
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 334
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Book Description
THE BIGGEST, BADDEST, BADASSEST BOOK OF LEWD, CRUDE AND FUNNY-AS-$#!+ JOKES •What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? We do taste like chicken! •What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? Her ankles. •The journalist asked the politician, “Your assistant said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you like to comment? “Yes, I would,” said the politician. “The truth is my assistant has a big mouth.” •A guy walks in on his wife having sex with another man and says, “what the hell are you two doing?” His wife turns to her lover and says, “I told you he was stupid.” •How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy. If you think no joke is too raw as long as it’s funny—this is the book for you! This massive collection of laugh-out-loud and totally politically incorrect jokes is sure to have you and your friends rolling in hysterics.
