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Author: Carbone
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781546780137
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 68
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Book Description
Hilarious jokes you have never heard! Jokes for Adults that will make you laugh hard! You will have a wonderful time finally reading new sidesplitting jokes. Adult, very funny jokes that are fresh and hysterical. You will be the life of the party!
Author: Carbone
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781546780137
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 68
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Book Description
Hilarious jokes you have never heard! Jokes for Adults that will make you laugh hard! You will have a wonderful time finally reading new sidesplitting jokes. Adult, very funny jokes that are fresh and hysterical. You will be the life of the party!
Author: Evan C Thomas
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1440576971
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 272
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Book Description
Inside this sidesplitting collection, you'll find only the most popular kinds of jokes, riddles, and funnies from a dynamic professional comedian. This book is sure to tickle your funny bone-- and make you the life of the party!
Author: Editors of Portable Press
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1684120071
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 254
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Book Description
Dad’s comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade . . . to the relief of everyone around him! Cue the groans. Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch—line, that is! He’ll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! Dad: “I wouldn’t want to be buried in this graveyard.” Kid: “Why not?” Dad: “Because I'm not dead yet!” And many more!
Author: Gary Delaney
Publisher: Headline
ISBN: 1472277449
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 118
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Book Description
'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .
Author: Ronald Reagan
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743271114
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 436
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Book Description
The most important speeches of America's "Great Communicator": Here, in his own words, is the record of Ronald Reagan's remarkable political career and historic eight-year presidency.
Author: Manik Joshi
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781520112145
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 400
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Book Description
It took me 20 years to compile 800 best jokes. You will find all sorts of jokes in this collection - Animal jokes, Aviation jokes, Baby jokes, Bar Jokes, Beauty jokes, Bicycle jokes, Bird jokes, Birthday jokes, Blind jokes, Blonde jokes, Bus jokes, Business jokes, Cannibal jokes, Children Jokes, College jokes, Computer jokes, Criminal jokes, Dead and dying jokes, Dentist jokes, Divorce jokes, Doctor jokes, Family jokes, Farmer jokes, Firefighter jokes, Food jokes, Gender Jokes, Hunting jokes, Husband and wife jokes, Internet jokes, Judge jokes, Kids' jokes, Lawyer jokes, Lotto jokes, Marriage jokes, Men jokes, Mental health jokes, Military jokes, Money jokes, Occupation Jokes, Office jokes, Old age jokes, Parent jokes, Police jokes, Political Jokes, Religious jokes, Salesmen jokes, School jokes, Women jokes And OthersSample This:001. Sign LanguageA group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on that trip won $100,000. He didn't want anyone to know about it, so he decided not to return with the others, but took a later plane home - arriving back 3 a.m. He immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man's house. "You tell this guy that if he doesn't give me back my $100,000 I'm going to kill him!" he screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend, and his friend replied in sign language, "I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree." The professor turned to the man with the gun and said, "He's not going to tell you. He said he'd rather die first."***************002. Dead DogJoe was a steward for Fly High airlines. He watched as an older lady boarded the plane holding a dog in a cage. "Excuse me," said Joe "dogs are not allowed on board, you have to check it in with the baggage." The lady wasn't happy, but Joe was an experienced steward and succeeded in convincing the lady without much of a scene. Upon arrival, Joe took a peek in the cage, and to his great surprise, saw that the dog was dead! Frantic that they may get sued, Joe quickly sent one of his underlings out to town to buy a dog that looked exactly the same. Just in the nick of time the underling arrived with the dog. They quickly switched dogs and breathed a sigh of relief. "This isn't my dog!" said the lady as soon as she saw it. "I'm sure it is" insisted Joe "I was very careful about where I put it." "It's not my dog" argued the lady, "you see, I was bringing my dog to my home town to have him buried, and this dog is alive!"***************003. Magic TrickTwo thieves each sneak into a rich man's party. During dinner the thieves marveled at how even the cutlery was made of gold, and both decided they would try to steal some. The first thief quietly slipped a golden spoon into his pocket, unaware that the second thief had witnessed this crime. After dinner, the second thief comes up with a way to steal a golden spoon without suspicion being placed on him. He picks up a golden spoon identical to the first and holds it up in front of the party-goers explaining he wishes to show them a magic trick. "And now..." he speaks to the crowd and points towards the first thief, "I will put this spoon into my pocket, and remove it from this gentleman here's own pocket!"***************
Author: Editors of Portable Press
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1626866139
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 90
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Book Description
Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!
Author: Willow Creek Press
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781682348338
Category : American wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
The dad joke is a delicate thing. Part knowing humor, part lack of humor, it's only requirement is that it elicits not a laugh from its audience but the annoyed response: "Daaaaaaaaad." Bad Dad Jokes is the biggest, baddest collection of "so bad they're actually good" jokes that are guaranteed to deliver a daily dose of groans and giggles. Bad Dad Jokes is a one of a kind collection of extraordinary humor in one book. By giving this collection as a gift you will bring humor and lasting memories to events for years to come.
Author: Garrison Keillor
Publisher: Blackstone Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages :
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Book Description
Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.
Author: Jon Acuff
Publisher: Zondervan
ISBN: 0310110122
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 209
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Book Description
Using the same humor and honesty that galvanized more than a million online readers from more than 200 countries, speaker Jon Acuff brings his insightful take on Christianity to the book world with this new edition of Stuff Christians Like. Do you constantly find yourself towing the fine line between praying before certain types of meals and not others? This book is for you. Have you fallen in love on a mission trip, just to break up when you get home? This book is for you. Are you a unicorn of purity who ranks honeymoon sex slightly higher than the second coming of Christ? Guess what – this book is for you, too. It’s time to shake off Somber Christian Syndrome and embrace the quirks of being a member of God’s kingdom. This book will teach you how to: Break up with your small group Subtly find out if your new Christian friends drink beer too Recognize the shame grenade that is a Jesus Juke Avoid a prayer handholding faux pas Say something Christian-y without looking like a snake handler From prayer shot blocks to metro worship leaders, no stone is left unturned in this hilarious look at faith. “I never knew how much I needed Jesus until I found out I was judging people who use the table of contents in their Bible. This book saved me from looking like a bad Christian.” – Sister Mary Francis, Rhode Island. “It’s such a time saver to know that my Chick-fil-a from the drive-thru comes pre-blessed. I always knew I was making the right choice by choosing the Lord’s chicken.” – Dave L., South Carolina.
