Sorry, We Can't Use Funny

Sorry, We Can't Use Funny PDF Author: Barry Parham
Publisher: PM Productions
ISBN: 145378618X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 198

Get Book Here

Book Description
Following the success of his first book, the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," online humor columnist Barry Parham delivers again. Satire at its best! Includes the award-winning stories "Actuarial Family Theater" and "Perfect!" on Fads & Fashion... In the interest of full disclosure, I admit there's an extant 1970's photo of me and a date, posing for the obligatory parental pre-prom photo. My date was gorgeous, and sane. I, on the other hand, showed up with the hair of a medieval barber. I looked like an electrocuted yak. on St. Valentine's Day... Somehow, February got this reputation as a month of romance, maybe because it's cold. Plus, football's gone and we're stuck with the wildly popular sport of bowling, where you almost never get to see any serious violence. St. Valentine's Day contains vestiges of both early Christian and ancient Roman traditions, alongside other time-honored traditions, like hot-dish picnics and mass public executions. Holiday Factoid: "vestiges" is the classical Greek plural of "vest." on Typos... A local TV station was updating the community on snowstorm-based church closings. According to the typists at the station, there was a church somewhere called St. Martyer. Imagine - an entire religious sect dedicated to turning people into Ernest Borgnine.

Sorry, We Can't Use Funny

Sorry, We Can't Use Funny PDF Author: Barry Parham
Publisher: PM Productions
ISBN: 145378618X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 198

Get Book Here

Book Description
Following the success of his first book, the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," online humor columnist Barry Parham delivers again. Satire at its best! Includes the award-winning stories "Actuarial Family Theater" and "Perfect!" on Fads & Fashion... In the interest of full disclosure, I admit there's an extant 1970's photo of me and a date, posing for the obligatory parental pre-prom photo. My date was gorgeous, and sane. I, on the other hand, showed up with the hair of a medieval barber. I looked like an electrocuted yak. on St. Valentine's Day... Somehow, February got this reputation as a month of romance, maybe because it's cold. Plus, football's gone and we're stuck with the wildly popular sport of bowling, where you almost never get to see any serious violence. St. Valentine's Day contains vestiges of both early Christian and ancient Roman traditions, alongside other time-honored traditions, like hot-dish picnics and mass public executions. Holiday Factoid: "vestiges" is the classical Greek plural of "vest." on Typos... A local TV station was updating the community on snowstorm-based church closings. According to the typists at the station, there was a church somewhere called St. Martyer. Imagine - an entire religious sect dedicated to turning people into Ernest Borgnine.

Firefly Lane

Firefly Lane PDF Author: Kristin Hannah
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1429927844
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 532

Get Book Here

Book Description
From the New York Times bestselling author Kristin Hannah comes a powerful novel of love, loss, and the magic of friendship. . . . now a #1 Netflix series! In the turbulent summer of 1974, Kate Mularkey has accepted her place at the bottom of the eighth-grade social food chain. Then, to her amazement, the "coolest girl in the world" moves in across the street and wants to be her friend. Tully Hart seems to have it all---beauty, brains, ambition. On the surface they are as opposite as two people can be: Kate, doomed to be forever uncool, with a loving family who mortifies her at every turn. Tully, steeped in glamour and mystery, but with a secret that is destroying her. They make a pact to be best friends forever; by summer's end they've become TullyandKate. Inseparable. So begins Kristin Hannah's magnificent new novel. Spanning more than three decades and playing out across the ever-changing face of the Pacific Northwest, Firefly Lane is the poignant, powerful story of two women and the friendship that becomes the bulkhead of their lives. From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she longs to be loved unconditionally. In the glittering, big-hair era of the eighties, she looks to men to fill the void in her soul. But in the buttoned-down nineties, it is television news that captivates her. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the globe, finding fame and success . . . and loneliness. Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. Throughout college, she pretends to be driven by a need for success, but all she really wants is to fall in love and have children and live an ordinary life. In her own quiet way, Kate is as driven as Tully. What she doesn't know is how being a wife and mother will change her . . . how she'll lose sight of who she once was, and what she once wanted. And how much she'll envy her famous best friend. . . . For thirty years, Tully and Kate buoy each other through life, weathering the storms of friendship---jealousy, anger, hurt, resentment. They think they've survived it all until a single act of betrayal tears them apart . . . and puts their courage and friendship to the ultimate test. Firefly Lane is for anyone who ever drank Boone's Farm apple wine while listening to Abba or Fleetwood Mac. More than a coming-of-age novel, it's the story of a generation of women who were both blessed and cursed by choices. It's about promises and secrets and betrayals. And ultimately, about the one person who really, truly knows you---and knows what has the power to hurt you . . . and heal you. Firefly Lane is a story you'll never forget . . . one you'll want to pass on to your best friend.

Youth's Companion

Youth's Companion PDF Author:
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : American literature
Languages : en
Pages : 812

Get Book Here

Book Description


That Frenchman!

That Frenchman! PDF Author: Archibald Clavering Gunter
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : France
Languages : en
Pages : 318

Get Book Here

Book Description


Business and Sales Humor Writing and Delivery Skills Guidebook

Business and Sales Humor Writing and Delivery Skills Guidebook PDF Author: Daniel Farb
Publisher: UniversityOfHealthCare
ISBN: 1594912696
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 95

Get Book Here

Book Description
This book is a combination of two works by the authors, Sales Humor Delivery Skills and Sales Humor Writing Skills. An important skill in sales, and in any business situation, is the proper delivery and use of humor. And it can be learned. Sales Humor Delivery Skills teaches important elements of delivering effective humor. This book will not only teach some of the secrets of professional joke writing, but will also teach how to apply them to sales and business situations. This title is part of the highly acclaimed UniversityofHealthCare series on sales.

American Sycamore

American Sycamore PDF Author: Charles Kenney
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1648210082
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 282

Get Book Here

Book Description
A moving novel about the devotions of friendship and the power of love to heal, American Sycamore celebrates the American experiment and the importance of giving a damn. Rob Barrow’s devotion to the American experiment has never wavered. For forty years he has devoted his legal brilliance to advancing the essential American ideals enshrined by the Founders. Rob is the best kind of throwback—a classic American character, reserved and respectful, yet with a fierce determination to protect the people and ideas that matter most. Rob stands his ground. He does not yield to the ridicule of malign political forces, nor to the mounting challenges of aging—loss, grief, even an invasion of rogue cells. While AMERICAN SYCAMORE is Rob’s story, it is also the story of his beloved wife Julia, an author who believes America has lost her way and seeks to understand why. It is the story of their dearest friend, Dr. Ray Witter, a battlefield surgeon in Vietnam and now the medical school dean. When we first meet Rob, Julia, and Ray in graduate school during the 1970s, they are on the idealistic mission to make things right in America. A sense of purpose animates their lives while a commitment to each other powers them through the decades strengthening their bond along the way. AMERICAN SYCAMORE celebrates what ennobles and buoys us—always welcome, but especially so in these mad times. The novel will appeal to readers of literary fiction and upmarket commercial fiction including character-driven mysteries. This is a novel for readers drawn to complex characters facing life’s challenges with grace and the power of shared love and friendship. It is a story that unfolds on several different levels with surprising twists and turns and, ultimately, a mystery at the heart of the matter.

A Strange Habit of Mind (Cameron Winter Mysteries)

A Strange Habit of Mind (Cameron Winter Mysteries) PDF Author: Andrew Klavan
Publisher: Penzler Publishers
ISBN: 1613163525
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 218

Get Book Here

Book Description
USA Today bestseller English professor and ex-spy Cameron Winter confronts a Big Tech billionaire to solve the suspicious suicide of a former student The world of Big Tech is full of eccentric characters, but shamanic billionaire Gerald Byrne may be the strangest of the bunch. The founder of Byrner, a global social media platform, Byrne is known for speaking with vague profundity and for dabbling in esoteric spiritual practices; he wears his hair in a long black ponytail to reveal a large flower tattooed on his neck; he’s universally admired as a visionary, a philanthropist, and a devoted husband and father. And every person who gets in the way of his good work seems to die. When a former student commits suicide, English professor and ex-spy Cameron Winter takes it upon himself to understand why. The young man was expelled from the university in an unfortunate episode that left Winter sympathetic to his plight; after a prolonged silence, he reached out to his teacher with two words just before taking the fatal plunge from the roof of his San Francisco apartment: “Help me.” Winter has what he calls “a strange habit of mind”—the ability to imagine himself into a crime scene, to reconstruct it mentally and play through various possible causes and outcomes to understand exactly what took place. When he applies this exercise to Adam Kemp’s desperate final moments, he discovers a troubling inconsistency. And when he learns that Kemp was in a tumultuous relationship with Gerald Byrne’s niece, he begins to suspect that the suicide was the result of a carefully-engineered plot, put in motion by the powerful businessman. Featuring the tough-but-learned protagonist from 2021’s When Christmas Comes, A Strange Habit of Mind is a thrilling mystery set in the cutthroat world of tech money and tech influence, where unchecked fortunes produce unstoppable power for a lawless few.

Will You Won't You Want Me?

Will You Won't You Want Me? PDF Author: Nora Zelevansky
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1250001277
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 317

Get Book Here

Book Description
When Marjorie "Madgesty" Plum's life falls apart, she learns it's time to quit being queen and time to start living

Will They, Won't They?

Will They, Won't They? PDF Author: Portia MacIntosh
Publisher: Boldwood Books Ltd
ISBN: 1800487649
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338

Get Book Here

Book Description
A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy from top 10 bestseller Portia MacIntosh When life goes off track sometimes the only thing you can do is go back to where it all began... Emmy Palmer is the star of Bragadon Forest, the biggest fantasy series on TV; adored by the public, living the life of glamour and luxury in London. But when scandal breaks, Emmy must escape the city and return to her seaside hometown to lie low and wait for the storm to pass. And as tragedy strikes for her family, it is good timing to go back to her roots. Emmy's agent decides it would be a good look to star in the community Christmas pantomime, but who else could be playing her leading man but her ex-boyfriend who she may or may not have ditched to move to London a decade ago... As the show approaches, love and friendships blossom and the real question is - Will they? Won't they? The brand new laugh-out-loud romantic comedy from top 10 bestseller Portia MacIntosh, guaranteed to put a smile on your face this winter. Praise for Portia MacIntosh: 'A hilarious, roaringly fun, feel good, sexy read. I LOVED it!' Holly Martin 'This is a heartwarming fun story, perfect for several hours of pure escapism.' Jessica Redland 'Super-romantic and full of festive spirit. I loved it!' Mandy Baggot

Kids' Comedic Monologues That Are Actually Funny

Kids' Comedic Monologues That Are Actually Funny PDF Author: Alisha Gaddis
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1495063844
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 159

Get Book Here

Book Description
This book is the answer to the comedic monologue needs of kid actors – and their parents – everywhere. Kids' Comedic Monologues That Are Actually Funny is specifically geared for children ages 5-12. Divided into boy, girl, and gender neutral categories, every piece is guaranteed to be clean, hilariously funny, easy to memorize, and a joy for young actors to perform. It features monologues by writers and comics who have written for or performed on Ellen, Saturday Night Live, The Tonight Show, Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central Stage, and many more.