Merry Fucking Christmas PDF Download
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Author: Joe Movick
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781736098004
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 130
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Book Description
Christmas is a time of family, stress, love, wanting, resentment, and occasional violence.It's tradition.Frozen turkeys, drunk in-laws, gifts that bite, Santa breaking and entering, death, infidelity?Six short comedies to help you wind down during the holidays.
Author: Joe Movick
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781736098004
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 130
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Book Description
Christmas is a time of family, stress, love, wanting, resentment, and occasional violence.It's tradition.Frozen turkeys, drunk in-laws, gifts that bite, Santa breaking and entering, death, infidelity?Six short comedies to help you wind down during the holidays.
Author: Denis Leary
Publisher: Running Press Adult
ISBN: 9780762447626
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
For everyone who loves the holidays - and those of us who can't wait until they're over - Denis Leary has a special gift this season: Merry F***in' Christmas. This adult parody of a children's book, in the vein of Go The Fuck To Sleep, takes aim at bad presents, drunk Santas, boring relatives, ugly sweaters, greedy kids and all the other things that make December such a pain in the ass. Just like he did in The Ref - the cult classic Christmas film that skewers dysfunctional families - Denis will have you laughing out loud about just how unhappy the holidays can be.
Author: Diane Cormack
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781539996613
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 62
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Book Description
Does the holiday season drive you NUTS? Do you know somebody who'd put Scrooge to shame with their festive grumblings?Merry F*cking Christmas is the perfect antidote to Christmas cheer and festive overload. It's the ideal gift for friends who hate Christmas or year-round grumps!Relax and unwind with:- 20 single-sided coloring pages- 2 mini test images of each coloring page to experiment on- snarky phrases to help you vent your frustration ('how about I KICK you under the mistletoe?', "Silent night... I bloody wish')- a range of beautiful designs, flowers, doodles, and abstract patterns- perfect gift for grumpy friends or secret santaNot suitable for children or the easily offended.
Author: J.W. Ocker
Publisher: Turner Publishing Company
ISBN: 1684423708
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 190
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Book Description
Felix Allsey is a travel writer with a keen eye for the paranormal, and he’s carved out a unique, if only slightly lucrative, niche for himself in nonfiction; he writes travelogues of the country’s most haunted places, after haunting them himself. When he convinces the owner of the infamous Rotterdam Mansion to let him stay on the premises for 13 nights, he believes he’s finally found the location that will bring him a bestseller. As with his other gigs, he sets rules for himself: no leaving the house for any reason, refrain from outside contact, and sleep during the day. When Thomas Ruth, Felix's oldest friend and fellow horror film obsessive, joins him on the project, the two dance around a recent and unspeakably painful rough-patch in their friendship, but eventually fall into their old rhythms of dark humor and movie trivia. That’s when things start going wrong: screams from upstairs, figures in the thresholds, and more than what should be in any basement. Felix realizes the book he’s writing, and his very state of mind, is tilting from nonfiction into all out horror, and the shocking climax answers a question that’s been staring these men in the face all along: In Rotter House, who’s haunting who?
Author: Carol V. Aebersold
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780984365173
Category : Christmas stories
Languages : en
Pages : 32
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Book Description
The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition is an activity the entire family will enjoy. Based on the tradition Carol Aebersold began with her family in the 1970s, this cleverly rhymed children's book explains that Santa knows who is naughty and/or nice because he sends a scout elf to every home. During the holiday season, the elf watches children by day and reports to Santa each night. When children awake, the elf has returned from the North Pole and can be found hiding in a different location. This activity allows The Elf on the Shelf to become a delightful hide-and-seek game.
Author: Kevin Kennedy
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781540677228
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 260
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Book Description
Christmas is often thought of as a time of joy and cheer, a time for giving to others, a time of celebration and love.... Well, this year some of the best voices in horror fiction decided to band together and tell you some tales about a different kind of Christmas, so grab yourself a mug of hot chocolate, close the curtains, lock the door and get comfy. This will be a Christmas like never before! Table of Contents: 12 Days (Psychopath Remix) by J.C. Michael (poem) Thy Will be Done by J.C. Michael Tommy's Christmas by John R. Little Naughty or Nice by Veronica Smith Santa's Midnight Feast by J.L. Lane Hung With Care by Ty Schwamberger Santa Came by Peter Oliver Wonder In the Bag by Tim Curran The Christmas Spirit by Lisa Morton The Tome of Bill Cristmas Carol by Rick Gualtieri Killing Christmas by Andrew Lennon All Naughty, No Nice by Michael A. Arnzen A Disappointed Shade of Blue by C.S. Andserson (poem) Stuffed Pig by Steven Murray The Night Before Christmas by Suzanne Fox Better Watch Out by Willow Rose Deck The Halls by Xtina Marie (poem) Christmas Market by Amy Cross Merry Fuckin' Christmas by Kevin J. Kennedy The Veil by Rose Garnett The Last Christmas Dinner by Christina Bergling The Present by Israel Finn Christmas Carole by Lisa Vasquez Slay Bells by Weston Kincade Edited by Brandy Yassa Cover design by Lisa Vasquez
Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345549988
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 226
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Book Description
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear
Author: Patricia Bates
Publisher: Beachwalk Press
ISBN: 1937325016
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 45
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Book Description
A sexy cowboy to unwrap...what more could a girl want?For Holly Walker Christmas is about more than just flashing lights, it's about having some sexy time with her husband. This year, however, she's got a secret that could destroy everything...or save their future.
Author: Bob Hartley
Publisher: Tortoise Books
ISBN: 1948954400
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 207
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Book Description
Andy's a bartender in North Austin in the late 1970s. For years, he's been slinging beers to corrupt cops and fat Zenith employees, but given the neighborhood's ongoing decline (and his own serious health issues), he's starting to wonder how long it can go on. He's serving workers from a dying factory in a dying neighborhood; he sees crime on the rise—and he decides to become a criminal himself. North and Central perfectly evokes Chicago in the epic winter of '78-'79—the bleak season of blizzards and disco and John Wayne Gacy—capturing the city in microcosm through the denizens of one blue-collar watering hole. If Springsteen and Bukowski had teamed up to write a story about a Chicago bar, they'd have been hard pressed to do better than this; it's an anti-Cheers, a bittersweet story about a place where everybody knows your nickname, and they're tired of you coming around because you're a degenerate. But it's more than just a static portrait; it's a gripping and moving story destined to earn its own place among the classics of Chicago literature.
Author: Steven A. LaChance
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide
ISBN: 0738740926
Category : Body, Mind & Spirit
Languages : en
Pages : 227
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Book Description
Living with a paranormal storm looming on the horizon, constantly feeling the darkness trying to penetrate his soul, Steven A. LaChance has discovered that the aftershocks of a demonic possession can be more dangerous than the initial haunting itself. Marked by the supernatural trauma inflicted by the Union Screaming House—as chronicled in his first book, The Uninvited—Steven and his family find that no matter where they move, no matter what they do, they are still vulnerable to otherworldly attacks. As malevolent forces continue their relentless assaults, Steven and his close-knit community fight for their sanity and their lives. Blessed Are the Wicked is one man's account of the repressed horror and pain that nearly tore his world apart.
