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Author: Merrill Markoe
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780670853328
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 240
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Book Description
Markoe follows 33 of the hints from the "365 days to a happier life" desk calendar, including a dinner with Fabio and a session of Dominatrix 101.
Author: Merrill Markoe
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780670853328
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 240
Get Book Here
Book Description
Markoe follows 33 of the hints from the "365 days to a happier life" desk calendar, including a dinner with Fabio and a session of Dominatrix 101.
Author: Merrill Markoe
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0307415724
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 226
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Book Description
“In the coming year,” she said, hoisting her blindingly clean and gleaming glass into the air, “may half of all your dreams come true.” “Mom,” I said to her, “isn’t that kind of pathetic?” “Well, it’s realistic.” It’s her thirty-sixth birthday, and she really thought things would be different this year—that she’d have figured out men and how to get along with her narcissistic parents enough to survive a birthday celebration. But nothing’s changed. Her disappointing day is capped off by the delivery of a huge bouquet of flowers from Carl, with whom she has recently, and bitterly, split. A gesture of reconciliation? Of passive aggression? She’s too unhinged to tell. It’s My F---ing Birthday unfolds in seven state-of-my-life addresses this hapless high school art teacher writes to herself on consecutive birthdays, as she is determined to break the patterns of behavior that are keeping her down. Her objective: to avoid making the same mistakes over and over and start making some new ones. Through seven outrageously funny years of needling parents, self-absorbed boyfriends, riots, O.J., and Monica—and bigger and bigger bouquets from Carl—she navigates a circuitous (and ultimately successful) route to happiness in a world where everything seems to conspire to the contrary. What I Learned This Year That I Need to Remember 1. No more taking the bait from Mom. Even if the fight becomes about not taking the bait. 2. No more dwelling in the past. 3. Try much harder to continue being a vegetarian. This will limit the restaurants the folks can take me to. 4. No more trying to decode the flowers from Carl. If he sends them again, just think of them as a fun, free thing, like a little sample box of cereal or detergent that suddenly appears in the mailbox. 5. Don’t make a big deal out of the fact that there were no guys this year. Perhaps that’s a better thing than continuing to get involved with guys who exhibit behavior from the beginning that indicates the whole thing is completely hopeless. So try to remember the above as a coping strategy when I am so crazed with horniness that I want to throw myself off a building. 6. No more mumbo jumbo. This means no more calling 900 astrology numbers listed at the end of horoscopes in women’s magazines to find out my love forecast. And no more going to psychics, no matter how dicey things get.
Author: Alexander McConnell
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Theology
Languages : en
Pages : 1008
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Book Description
Includes music.
Author: Keith Baker
Publisher: Little Simon
ISBN: 1534418431
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 40
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Book Description
Keith Baker’s New York Times bestselling peas are exploring the months of the year in Hap-Pea All Year, which now comes with a CD narrated by award-winning actor Stanley Tucci! Hap-pea January! Let’s get going, grab your mittens—hooray, it’s snowing! The peas have rolled through the letters, numbers, and colors. Now, they’re back to take young readers through the calendar. With bouncy rhyming text and playful pea-packed illustrations, celebrating the months, seasons, and holidays has never been so fun! Read along with the enclosed CD as Stanley Tucci narrates this fresh and fun exploration of the months of the year!
Author: Joe R. Lansdale
Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
ISBN: 0307776484
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 322
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Book Description
Mucho Mojo is the basis for the second season of the new Sundance TV series Hap and Leonard. Hap and Leonard return in this incredible, mad-dash thriller, loaded with crack addicts, a serial killer, and a body count. Leonard is still nursing the injuries he sustained in the duo's last wild undertaking when he learns that his Uncle Chester has passed. Hap is of course going to be there for his best friend, and when the two are cleaning up Uncle Chester's dilapidated house, they uncover a dark little secret beneath the house's rotting floor boards—a small skeleton buried in a trunk. Hap wants to call the police. Leonard, being a black man in east Texas, persuades him this is not a good idea, and together they set out to clear Chester's name on their own. The only things standing in their way is a houseful of felons, a vicious killer, and possibly themselves.
Author:
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : English periodicals
Languages : en
Pages : 930
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Book Description
Author: Samuel Richardson
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 812
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Book Description
Author: Alex Lemon
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 143916049X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 306
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Book Description
His freshman year of college, Alex Lemon was supposed to be the star catcher on the Macalester College baseball team. He was the boy getting every girl, the hard-partying kid everyone called Happy. In the spring of 1997, he had his first stroke. For two years Lemon coped with his deteriorating health by sinking deeper into alcohol and drug abuse. His charming and carefree exterior masked his self-destructive and sometimes cruel behavior as he endured two more brain bleeds and a crippling depression. After undergoing brain surgery, he is nursed back to health by his free-spirited artist mother, who once again teaches him to stand on his own. Alive with unexpected humor and sensuality, Happy is a hypnotic self-portrait of a young man confronting the wreckage of his own body; it is also the deeply moving story of a mother’s redemptive and healing powers. Alex Lemon’s Technicolor sentences pop and sing as he writes about survival—of the body and of the human spirit.
Author: August Heinrich Julius Lafontaine
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 274
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Book Description
Author: Merrill Markoe
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345518926
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 305
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Book Description
“This is so well written. [When a book like this] comes along, it’s, like, ‘Thank you!’ What a great way to spend an afternoon, an evening, reading these essays. . . . Absolutely great.”—Jon Stewart “[Merrill] Markoe is easily as funny as David Sedaris. She’s capable of manic riffs and acerbic skewering. Still, her good nature shines through.”—The Washington Post In this hilarious collection of candid essays, including two pieces new to this edition, New York Times bestselling author Merrill Markoe reveals much about her personal life—as well as the secret formula for comedy: Start out with a difficult mother, develop some classic teenage insecurities, add a few relationships with narcissistic men, toss in an unruly pack of selfish dogs, finish it off with the kind of crystalline perspective that only comes from years of navigating a roiling sea of unpleasant and unappeasable people, and—voilà—you’re funny! Cool, Calm & Contentious is honest, unapologetic, sometimes heartbreaking, but always shot through with Merrill Markoe’s biting, bracing wit. “This has been a great year for funny women. . . . Let’s call Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling exhibits A and B. Both owe a debt to those who came before, including Merrill Markoe.”—The Boston Globe “Markoe’s goal is to find the absurdity in everyday life. That, coupled with her sharp wit, makes her writing sublime.”—BookPage “Laugh-out-loud humor.”—Tampa Bay Times “Not only crazy-funny, but crazy-heartbreaking.”—The New York Times
