Uncle John's New & Improved Funniest Ever

Uncle John's New & Improved Funniest Ever PDF Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1684123925
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 389

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Book Description
The popular bathroom reader series is back with this collection that’s flush with laughs. It’s new, it’s improved, it’s the funniest ever! Back by popular demand, this newly revised edition includes plenty of all-time favorites, along with more than twenty-five pages of new content. That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung fu movie subtitles such as “It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So, whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at: ·Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillowcase. ·Witty wordplay: If Snoop Dogg were to marry Winnie-the-Pooh, his name would become Snoop Dogg Pooh. ·Flubbed headlines: “British Left Waffles On House Floor” ·Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room. ·Job lingo: If you hear an ER doc mention a “VIP,” be on the lookout for a “very intoxicated patient.” ·Sputtering sportscasters: “If only faces could talk.” —Pat Summerall And much, much more

Uncle John's New & Improved Funniest Ever

Uncle John's New & Improved Funniest Ever PDF Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1684123925
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 389

Get Book Here

Book Description
The popular bathroom reader series is back with this collection that’s flush with laughs. It’s new, it’s improved, it’s the funniest ever! Back by popular demand, this newly revised edition includes plenty of all-time favorites, along with more than twenty-five pages of new content. That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung fu movie subtitles such as “It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So, whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at: ·Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillowcase. ·Witty wordplay: If Snoop Dogg were to marry Winnie-the-Pooh, his name would become Snoop Dogg Pooh. ·Flubbed headlines: “British Left Waffles On House Floor” ·Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room. ·Job lingo: If you hear an ER doc mention a “VIP,” be on the lookout for a “very intoxicated patient.” ·Sputtering sportscasters: “If only faces could talk.” —Pat Summerall And much, much more

Gentlemen at Gyang Gyang

Gentlemen at Gyang Gyang PDF Author: Miles Franklin
Publisher: DigiCat
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 231

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Book Description
Gentlemen at Gyang Gyang is a rural romance novel by Miles Franklin. Franklin was an Australian writer and early feminist. Excerpt: "Miss Gaylord's attitude towards Gyang Gyang was much that of some revolutionist on the way to Siberia, only the Siberian exile might have in his heart the fire of a cause with a sustaining determination to escape and continue his self-immolation. At the core of Miss Gaylord remained only ashes and a scourge of humiliation to provide her with a pulse and a temperature. While there is pain there remains that matrix of illusions—Life."

Crude

Crude PDF Author: Sonia Shah
Publisher: Seven Stories Press
ISBN: 160980063X
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 276

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Book Description
Crude is the unexpurgated story of oil, from the circumstances of its birth millions of years ago to the spectacle of its rise as the indispensable ingredient of modern life. In addition to fueling our SUVs and illuminating our cities, crude oil and its byproducts fertilize our produce, pave our roads, and make plastic possible. "Newborn babies," observes author Sonia Shah, "slide from their mothers into petro-plastic-gloved hands, are swaddled in petro-polyester blankets, and are hurried off to be warmed by oil-burning heaters." The modern world is drenched in oil; Crude tells how it came to be. A great human drama emerges, of discovery and innovation, risk, the promise of riches, and the power of greed. Shah infuses recent twists in the story with equal drama, through chronicles of colorful modern-day characters — from the hundreds of Nigerian women who stormed a Chevron plant to a monomaniacal scientist for whom life is the pursuit of this earthblood and its elusive secret. Shah moves masterfully between scientific, economic, political, and social analysis, capturing the many sides of the indispensable mineral that we someday may have to find a way to live without.

Getting Everything You Can Out of All You've Got

Getting Everything You Can Out of All You've Got PDF Author: Jay Abraham
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9780312284541
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 388

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Book Description
Abraham--trusted advisor to America's top corporations--has written his first major book for anyone seeking fresh ideas on supercharging personal or business success.

Uncle John's Funniest Ever Bathroom Reader

Uncle John's Funniest Ever Bathroom Reader PDF Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1607109298
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 295

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Book Description
The title says it all. This is the funniest Bathroom Reader EVER. It might even be the funniest book in the history of books, but Uncle John is much too modest to state that outright (even though it is). Over the past 25 years, the Bathroom Readers’ Institute has published more than 40,000 pages of bathroom reading. In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldn’t help ourselves). That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles--such as. “It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at… * Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case. * Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh. * Flubbed headlines: “British Left Waffles On House Floor” * Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room. * Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a “VIP,” be on the lookout for a “Very Intoxicated Patient.” * Comedian quips: “I wonder if deaf people have a sign for ‘Talk to the hand.’” --Zach Galifianakis * Sputtering sportscasters: “If only faces could talk.” --Pat Summerall And much, much more!

Blowing It

Blowing It PDF Author: Judy Astley
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1409085449
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 340

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Book Description
Readers of Carole Matthews, Jenny Colgan, Lucy Diamond and Milly Johnson will love this wonderfully witty and whimsical comedy from bestselling author Judy Astley. Perfect to settle down with! 'A fun romp ... funny and surprisingly thought provoking.' -- Sunday Express 'A hugely entertaining novel' -- Cambridge Style Magazine 'Another fluffy, fun read from Astley.' -- In The Know 'I loved it ... a lovely summer read' -- New Books Magazine 'A smashing novel' -- ***** Reader review 'Great story line, a lot of fun, kept my interest and didn't disappoint' -- ***** Reader review 'A fun book!' -- ***** Reader review 'A thoroughly enjoyable read' -- ***** Reader review ********************************************************************************************* WILL THE KIDS GET WHAT'S COMING TO THEM? Sorrel is about to go off on her Gap Year. She sooo wants a home to come home to. Ilex, her brother, is trying to upgrade his flat and marry his smart girlfriend Manda. He'd like some immediate equity. Clover, the elder sister, has plans that involve a bijou second home in France. And she wants it now. If only their parents would be sensible. If only they would sell their large, rather grand but somewhat dilapidated home and hand over their inheritance. But parents aren't always as sensible as their children. They are planning on blowing the lot...

The Chamber of Lies

The Chamber of Lies PDF Author: Bill Myers
Publisher: Zonderkidz
ISBN: 0310865867
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 130

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Book Description
In book four, Chamber of Lies, Zach, Piper, and Elijah are reunited with their parents. But when Elijah is lured into the Chamber, he must face the Shadow Man in a battle for his soul. Only heaven can help him now.

The Constable Twitten Mysteries

The Constable Twitten Mysteries PDF Author: Lynne Truss
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
ISBN: 1526650924
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 1280

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Book Description
DISCOVER THE AWARD-WINNING MURDER MYSTERY SERIES FROM SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR, PERFECT FOR FANS OF RICHARD OSMAN 'Funny, clever, charming, imaginative and nostalgic' The Times 'Terrific' Mail on Sunday 'A giddy spell of sheer delight' Daily Mail This digital bundle includes all 4 books in Lynne Truss's gloriously funny crime series set in 1950s Brighton: A Shot in the Dark Winner of the Crimefest Last Laugh Award Inspector Steine rather enjoys his life as a policeman by the sea. No criminals, no crime, no stress. So it's really rather annoying when an ambitious – not to mention irritating – new constable shows up to work and starts investigating a spate of burglaries. Could it be that Brighton is in need of a police force after all? The Man That Got Away A Times crime novel of the year It's summer in Brighton and the Brighton Belles are on hand to answer any holidaymaker's queries, no matter how big or small. The quickest way to the station, how many pebbles are on the beach and what exactly has happened to that young man lying in the deckchair with blood dripping from him? To solve this latest fiendish murder, our trio of detectives must go undercover to infiltrate a notorious Brighton nightspot. Murder by Milk Bottle Shortlisted for the Comedy Women in Print Prize The August bank holiday is approaching and after two extremely high-profile murder cases, Constable Twitten is eagerly anticipating a quiet spell at work. But then they find the bodies – and the milk bottles. Three seemingly unconnected victims have all been killed with the same highly unusual murder weapon. Can our redoubtable trio solve the case and catch this most curious of killers before they strike again? Psycho by the Sea It's September in Brighton and the city is playing host to weeks of endless rain and lashings of villainy. A violent criminal obsessed with hunting policemen has escaped Broadmoor and is rumoured to be headed towards the city, while at Gosling's department store an American researcher has been found dead in the music section. Have Twitten, Steine and co. finally met their match with this criminal mastermind?

Sometimes I Paint

Sometimes I Paint PDF Author: Cecil Moody
Publisher: Trafford Publishing
ISBN: 1466905751
Category : Art
Languages : en
Pages : 176

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Book Description
To paint one's life would be impossible. To paint a vision of a past, and of a present time, can be done by anyone; even if it is only a point, a spot, a moment, a fragment of one's life, a memory painted on the format of a reverie. A reverie is usually considered to be a happy "daydream" of a memory. However, in one's subconscious bank of memories, there lie mountains and valleys of pictures both wonderfully happy as well as some that are quite sad.....even some that are excruciatingly painful. On paper or canvas, one can choose which pictures to paint. In "sleeping" dreams and in daydreams, one has no choice in the selection of subjects which come brushing across one's mind. I wish to dedicate this little book of my paintings to my family and friends who have appreciated my efforts, even if they might not have enjoyed viewing them, and especially to my son-in-law, Chris, who has been constant in his encouragement of my continued efforts to paint.

A Collection of Historical and State Poems, ... Being the First Volume of Miscellanies, by the Author of the London Spy. (The Second Volume of the Writings of the Author of the London Spy. The Third Volume, Etc.).

A Collection of Historical and State Poems, ... Being the First Volume of Miscellanies, by the Author of the London Spy. (The Second Volume of the Writings of the Author of the London Spy. The Third Volume, Etc.). PDF Author: Edward Ward
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 382

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Book Description