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Author: Dreams Novelty Books
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781688864122
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 122
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Book Description
You're A Badass Bailiff Keep That Shit Up: Blank Lined Journal To Write in - Funny Gifts For Bailiff Jot down your thoughts and to-do lists in this 6" x 9" lined 120 page soft cover journal. In this journal you can pen your thoughts and ideas that inspire and motivate you. Buy It Now! You'll be glad you did.
Author: Dreams Novelty Books
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781688864122
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 122
Get Book Here
Book Description
You're A Badass Bailiff Keep That Shit Up: Blank Lined Journal To Write in - Funny Gifts For Bailiff Jot down your thoughts and to-do lists in this 6" x 9" lined 120 page soft cover journal. In this journal you can pen your thoughts and ideas that inspire and motivate you. Buy It Now! You'll be glad you did.
Author: Piers Anthony
Publisher: Del Rey
ISBN: 0345536444
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 358
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Book Description
Piers Anthony’s bestselling Xanth series is one of the cornerstones of fantasy, a lively and whimsical interpretation of a genre often criticized for taking itself too seriously. Anthony’s first Xanth novel, A Spell for Chameleon, was initially edited to target a more traditional audience. Now, in an eBook exclusive, A Spell for Chameleon has been reworked line by line—its language matching the simpler, playful way with words that made Piers Anthony an enduring fan favorite. Xanth is an enchanted land where magic rules, a land of centaurs and dragons and basilisks where every citizen has a unique spell to call their own. For Bink of North Village, however, Xanth is no fairy tale. He alone has no magic. And unless he gets some—and fast!—he will be exiled. Forever. But the Good Magician Humfrey is convinced that Bink does indeed have magic. In fact, both Beauregard the genie and the magic wall chart insist that Bink has magic as powerful as any possessed by the King, the Good Magician Humfrey, or even the Evil Magician Trent. Be that as it may, no one can fathom the nature of Bink’s very special magic. This is even worse than having no magic at all . . . and he still faces exile!
Author: Jonathan French
Publisher: Del Rey
ISBN: 0593159144
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
The long-awaited war has come in the sweeping conclusion to the Lot Lands trilogy—another irresistibly swashbuckling, swaggering, foul-mouthed fantasy from the author of The Grey Bastards. “[A] rip-roaring, shelf-bending conclusion . . . nothing short of an adventure fantasy masterwork.”—Kirkus Reviews (Best Books of the Year) War has come to the Lot Lands—and Oats stands upon the frontline. The Hisparthan armies on the horizon are mighty, bolstered by divine champions, dread sorcerers, and gunpowder. It’s almost more than the half-orc rebellion can hope to repel. But Oats has won impossible fights before. He’s a thriceblood, after all, more orc than man. And he hasn’t forgotten how to kill. He’ll stack the bodies high for his chief and his brethren, if that’s the price of freeing the Lots from human tyranny. Besides, the invading forces are getting a damned sight more than they bargained for. They’re not facing a handful of half-orc hoofs, but a true army—one forged from all the peoples of the Lots. At its head are Fetching, in full command of the ruinous power that runs through her veins, and Jackal, armed with the blessings of a dead god. Yet Oats can’t help but find his faith wavering. Once the strongest Bastard, he soon realizes that in this battle, even the strength of a thriceblood is easily conquered. And after a grievous loss strikes, he begins to fear that this war will lead the Lots not to freedom but to ruin. So when another path to peace beckons, he has no choice but to walk it. Even if it means betting the Lots’ fate, and his own, on the promises of the Bastards’ wiliest adversary—and making a perilous journey into the heart of Hispartha itself. Brimming with all the epic battles, surprising sorcery, and fiendish twists a Bastards fan could wish for, alongside unforgettable moments for characters old and new, The Free Bastards builds a new future for the Lots—even as it gives our beloved trio of Jackal, Fetching, and Oats the rousing, blood-soaked sendoff they deserve.
Author: Gretchen McNeil
Publisher: Disney Electronic Content
ISBN: 1368014852
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 419
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Book Description
@doctorfusionbebop: Some 17 y. o. chick named Dee Guerrera was just sent to Alcatraz 2.0 for killing her stepsister. So, how long do you think she'll last? @morrisdavis72195: I hope she meets justice! She'll get what's coming to her! BWAHAHA! @EltonJohnForevzz: Me? I think Dee's innocent. And I hope she can survive. WELCOME TO THE NEAR FUTURE, where good and honest citizens can enjoy watching the executions of society's most infamous convicted felons, streaming live on The Postman app from the suburbanized prison island Alcatraz 2.0. When seventeen-year-old Dee Guerrera wakes up in a haze, lying on the ground of a dimly lit warehouse, she realizes she's about to be the next victim of the app. Knowing hardened criminals are getting a taste of their own medicine in this place is one thing, but Dee refuses to roll over and die for a heinous crime she didn't commit. Can Dee and her newly formed posse, the Death Row Breakfast Club, prove she's innocent before she ends up wrongfully murdered for the world to see? Or will The Postman's cast of executioners kill them off one by one?
Author: Erica Reeder
Publisher: Ferry Tales, LLC
ISBN: 1954286163
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 1676
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Book Description
Crowns and blood collide in this epic tale of magic, love, and secrets that proves even the most lost of us can find family. Cy Vanguard is a faerie princess who turned her back on all things enchanted five years ago when she left the faerie realm. Sure, her sex life is deader than a decapitated vampire, but at least she is respected as a bounty hunter and private dick. But that becomes leakier than a porcupine's umbrella when faeries start popping up everywhere they shouldn’t be. Talk about annoying, especially when they’re dead.
Then a drop-dead gorgeous vampire, the mortal enemy of all of the fairies, sweeps into her life and Cy is slapped in the face with the fact that she might be done with faerie, but faerie isn't done with her. Blood runs fast when vampires come calling, and what happens in a remote part of New York doesn’t stay secret for long. Deadly masquerades and vampire scandals prove actions have consequences.
Back in faerie things spin out of control and Cy must decide who is more important: a mother who never loved her or a people who have no else to turn to. A forgotten god just might be the key to healing this high-stakes family drama. Or it could be the death of them all.
“Smoking hot” , ”Laugh out loud” … “More than I imagined it would be” , "You HAVE to read it” - Amazon Reviews Ignite your imagination with the Enchanted & Screwed series, where you'll join a princess coming into her own with no shortage of sassy attitude, love at first sight, betrayal, a second chance romance that will curl your toes, and magic that will entice you into believing that even the most lost of us can find family. If you like Annette Marie and Linsey Hall, you’ll sell your soul for this epic tale that has a cast of unforgettable characters who you’ll be rooting for until the white-knuckled end.
Author: John Berendt
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0679429220
Category : True Crime
Languages : en
Pages : 417
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Book Description
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A modern classic of true crime, set in a most beguiling Southern city—now in a 30th anniversary edition with a new afterword by the author “Elegant and wicked . . . might be the first true-crime book that makes the reader want to book a bed and breakfast for an extended weekend at the scene of the crime.”—The New York Times Book Review Shots rang out in Savannah’s grandest mansion in the misty, early morning hours of May 2, 1981. Was it murder or self-defense? For nearly a decade, the shooting and its aftermath reverberated throughout this hauntingly beautiful city of moss-hung oaks and shaded squares. In this sharply observed, suspenseful, and witty narrative, John Berendt skillfully interweaves a hugely entertaining first-person account of life in this isolated remnant of the Old South with the unpredictable twists and turns of a landmark murder case. It is a spellbinding story peopled by a gallery of remarkable characters: the well-bred society ladies of the Married Woman’s Card Club; the turbulent young gigolo; the hapless recluse who owns a bottle of poison so powerful it could kill every man, woman, and child in Savannah; the aging and profane Southern belle who is the “soul of pampered self-absorption”; the uproariously funny drag queen; the acerbic and arrogant antiques dealer; the sweet-talking, piano-playing con artist; young people dancing the minuet at the black debutante ball; and Minerva, the voodoo priestess who works her magic in the graveyard at midnight. These and other Savannahians act as a Greek chorus, with Berendt revealing the alliances, hostilities, and intrigues that thrive in a town where everyone knows everyone else. Brilliantly conceived and masterfully written, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil is a sublime and seductive reading experience.
Author: Jonathan French
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0525572457
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 434
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Book Description
“[A] fantasy masterwork . . . a dirty, blood-soaked gem of a novel [that reads] like Mad Max set in Tolkien’s Middle-earth.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review) Jackal and his fellow half-orcs patrol the barren wastes of the Lot Lands, spilling their own damned blood to keep civilized folk safe. A rabble of hard-talking, hog-riding, whore-mongering brawlers they may be, but the Grey Bastards are Jackal’s sworn brothers, fighting at his side in a land where there’s no room for softness. And once Jackal’s in charge—as soon as he can unseat the Bastards’ tyrannical, seemingly unkillable founder—there’s a few things they’ll do different. Better. Or at least, that’s the plan. Until the fallout from a deadly showdown makes Jackal start investigating the Lot Lands for himself. Soon, he’s wondering if his feelings have blinded him to ugly truths about this world, and the Bastards’ place in it. In a quest for answers that takes him from decaying dungeons to the frontlines of an ancient feud, Jackal finds himself battling invading orcs, rampaging centaurs, and grubby human conspiracies alike—along with a host of dark magics so terrifying they’d give even the heartiest Bastard pause. Finally, Jackal must ride to confront a threat that’s lain in wait for generations, even as he wonders whether the Bastards can—or should--survive. Delivered with a generous wink to Sons of Anarchy, featuring sneaky-smart worldbuilding and gobs of fearsomely foul-mouthed charm, The Grey Bastards is a grimy, pulpy, masterpiece—and a raunchy, swaggering, cunningly clever adventure that’s like nothing you’ve read before. Praise for The Grey Bastards “Saddle up the war boar and set off on a wild, gory thrill-ride that ends in an awesome climax and begs for a sequel.”—Daily Mail (UK) “Non-stop action, though not for faint hearts . . . the Grey Bastards live up to their name in all respects.”—The Wall Street Journal
Author: Thomas Asbridge
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062262076
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 417
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Book Description
Renowned scholar Thomas Asbridge brings to life medieval England’s most celebrated knight, William Marshal—providing an unprecedented and intimate view of this age and the legendary warrior class that shaped it. Caught on the wrong side of an English civil war and condemned by his father to the gallows at age five, William Marshal defied all odds to become one of England’s most celebrated knights. Thomas Asbridge’s rousing narrative chronicles William’s rise, using his life as a prism to view the origins, experiences, and influence of the knight in British history. In William’s day, the brutish realities of war and politics collided with romanticized myths about an Arthurian “golden age,” giving rise to a new chivalric ideal. Asbridge details the training rituals, weaponry, and battle tactics of knighthood, and explores the codes of chivalry and courtliness that shaped their daily lives. These skills were essential to survive one of the most turbulent periods in English history—an era of striking transformation, as the West emerged from the Dark Ages. A leading retainer of five English kings, Marshal served the great figures of this age, from Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine to Richard the Lionheart and his infamous brother John, and was involved in some of the most critical phases of medieval history, from the Magna Carta to the survival of the Angevin/Plantagenet dynasty. Asbridge introduces this storied knight to modern readers and places him firmly in the context of the majesty, passion, and bloody intrigue of the Middle Ages. The Greatest Knight features 16 pages of black-and-white and color illustrations.
Author: The Onion
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 031613323X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 259
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Book Description
Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.
Author: Roxie Noir
Publisher: Roxie Noir Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 420
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Book Description
I told a judge I was engaged to my best friend. Now we’re faking it. How hard can it be? My life has room for exactly two women: my daughter Rusty and my best friend Charlotte — known to everyone as Charlie. One is a feisty, tomboyish firecracker. The other is my seven-year-old. I can’t imagine life without either. So when my ex springs a custody hearing on me, I find myself telling the judge that I’m engaged to Charlie. The only problem? I’m not. Time to fake an engagement. Pretending we’re a couple will be no big deal. We’ve been friends for years. We used to sneak cigarettes behind the bleachers. We turned cans of hairspray into flamethrowers. We got drunk on stolen malt liquor. She’s beautiful, vivacious, spontaneous, and she loves my daughter to death. It’s the perfect answer: we fake it for a few months, then go back to our lives. Until we touch, and sparks fly. Until I can’t take my eyes off her. Until I can’t stop thinking about what she’s got on under her coveralls. It takes one kiss. One touch. One shared secret and suddenly, I’m not pretending anymore. I want her, I need her in ways I didn’t know I could. But there’s a lifetime of friendship between us, and falling in love with Charlie could mean risking everything. Best Fake Fiance is the second book in the Loveless Brothers series, and can be read as a total standalone. It's for fans of high-heat, low-angst romantic comedies and anyone who loves a single dad who gets fake engaged. This one's got tons of sibling banter, a big family, an adorable kid who never gives her dad a break, all the friends-to-lovers swoon you can handle, and a small town where everyone knows everything. It's steamy, hilarious, and it's got an HEA. (And yes, it bangs.) This series is for fans of Karla Sorenson, Meghan Quinn, Melanie Harlow, Cate C Wells, and Pippa Grant.
