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Author: Ellis Weiner
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316025550
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 43
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Book Description
Jane is in real estate. Today is Saturday. Jane has an open house. She must schlep the Open House signs to the car. See Jane schlep. Schlep, Jane. Schlep. Schlep, schlep, schlep. In text that captures the unque rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane -- hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read -- manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude -- part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity.
Author: Ellis Weiner
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316025550
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 43
Get Book Here
Book Description
Jane is in real estate. Today is Saturday. Jane has an open house. She must schlep the Open House signs to the car. See Jane schlep. Schlep, Jane. Schlep. Schlep, schlep, schlep. In text that captures the unque rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane -- hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read -- manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude -- part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity.
Author: Barbara Davilman
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316050202
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 57
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Book Description
What do George and Laura Bush have in common with Dick and Jane? Well, both hail from prototypical WASP families. And, perhaps more to the point, both exhibit a natural resistance to moral complexity (i.e., reality). That's the premise of this hilarious new primer-style book in which George, Laura, and the entire Bush family communicate with uncharacteristic expressiveness, conveying shades of of feeling and nuances of meaning that plain old English can't deliver -- by peppering their conversatuon with Yiddishisms. See George's mother. Her name is Bar. She wears a lot of pearls and is a farbisseneh. "You are late, George," Bar says. "Of course I am late," George says. "I am the President of the United States. I am a big macher." Like all good primers, Yiddish with George and Laura tells a simple story -- and, in the end, important life lessons are imparted.
Author: Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0316015296
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 124
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Book Description
From the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl. Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals, does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies.
Author: Ellis Weiner
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101457112
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 281
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Book Description
A hilarious compendium of traditional wisdom, recipes, and lore from the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane. Modern Jews have forgotten cherished traditions and become, sadly, all- too assimilated. It's enough to make you meshugeneh. Today's Jews need to relearn the old ways so that cultural identity means something other than laughing knowingly at Curb Your Enthusiasm- and The Big Jewish Book for Jews is here to help. This wise and wise-cracking fully-illustrated book offers invaluable instruction on everything from how to sacrifice a lamb unto the lord to the rules of Mahjong. Jews of all ages and backgrounds will welcome the opportunity to be the Jewiest Jew of all, and reconnect to ancestors going all the way back to Moses and a time when God was the only GPS a Jew needed.
Author: Ellis Weiner
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 145212020X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 240
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Book Description
This special edition of The Templeton Twins Have an Idea: Book One also includes a sneak preview of The Templeton Twins Make a Scene: Book Two and a Q&A with the author. Suppose there were 12-year-old twins, a boy and girl named John and Abigail Templeton. Let's say John was pragmatic and played the drums, and Abigail was theoretical and solved cryptic crosswords. Now suppose their father was a brilliant, if sometimes confused, inventor. And suppose that another set of twins—adults—named Dean D. Dean and Dan D. Dean, kidnapped the Templeton twins and their ridiculous dog in order to get their father to turn over one of his genius (sort of) inventions. Yes, I said kidnapped. Wouldn't it be fun to read about that? Oh please. It would so. Luckily for you, this is just the first in a series perfect for boys and girls who are smart, clever, and funny (just like the twins), and enjoy reading adventurous stories (who doesn't?!).
Author: Steven Rhodes
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 1797204564
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 82
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Book Description
My Little Occult Book Club is a hilarious collection of Steven Rhodes' parody book covers for the aspiring occultist, exorcist, necromancer, and more, illustrated in his fan-favorite artistic twist on retro '70s and '80s children's books. The humorous fake titles include Sell Your Soul! (Economics for Children), Necromancy for Beginners, and Caring for Your Demon Cat, and much more. • Written in a playful voice that parodies subscription book catalogs • Features fun puzzles and activities • Funny fake mail order offers for gifts such as "Cursed Videocassette" Whether you're looking for a health guide for your changing werewolf body or a simple introduction to alien abduction, this silly and twisted read features a wide selection of books for any occult need. For fans of dark humor, nostalgic horror, and vintage books alike, don't wait—order today! • Perfect book for fans of Stranger Things, IT, and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina • You'll love this book if you love books like Yiddish with Dick and Jane by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman and My Best Friend's Exorcism: A Novel by Grady Hendrix
Author: Steve Levy
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0316040398
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177
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Book Description
Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely. And that means one thing: investment opportunities! For those who are not as expertly versed in the Book of Revelation, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, helpfully offer both illumination and advice: What exactly is the Rapture, anyway? How is it different from the Tribulation? Who are the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen, and the 144,000 male virgins, and what do they want? And, most important, how can I make money during the 7 years of societal breakdown before Armaggedon? Taking the familiar form of a how-to investment guide, How to Profit From the Coming Rapture instructs those readers who will certainly be left behind (Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, less ardent Protestants, and many more) on how to exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit. Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.
Author: Janet Perr
Publisher: Hyperion
ISBN: 9781401303235
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Is your dog a shmendrick A putz Oroy veya goniff There is only one way to find out, so nu, dive in to Yiddish for Dogs. This alphabetical handbook of Yiddish words features adorable and hilarious pictures of irresistible pooches. These dogs embody the meaning of well-known words such as kibbitz, tsuris, feh!, shlep, chutzpah, and many more. But thats not all. Consider yourself warned. Once the Yiddish comes out, these dogs have much to say. These dogs kvell. They go through the dreck. They recognize a mensch. They appreciate a nosh. And, believe it or not, they know youre mishuggeh. So the next time your canine friend does a flying leap into your lap, instead of exclaiming, What a klutz!, ask yourself Does my dog want to kibbitz Written and illustrated by award-winning art director and graphic designer Janet Perr, Yiddish for Dogs will have you howling with laughter.
Author: Ellis Weiner
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316465283
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 503
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Book Description
Everybody knows that the schools of the Ivy League -- universally touted as the pinnacle of American higher education -- have graduated countless political leaders, corporate titans, and global power brokers. But did you know these schools have also produced murderers, warmongers, traitors, plagiarists, slave traders, pederasts, and every other variety of moral reprobate? Whether you're a high school student grinding away in the hope of gaining admission to one of these institutions, a parent propelling a child toward Ivy glory, a current Ivy League undergraduate wondering "What the hell is this place?" -- or even an Ivy League alum, professor, administrator, or dropout -- this book was written specifically for you. As a warning. Because there are certain things -- monstrous things -- that go unmentioned in the catalog, campus tour, or employment package. And if your Ivy League application was rejected, here's compelling and consoling evidence of how lucky you are.
Author: Gershon Weltman
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781440140167
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
"A cute and charming addition to Yiddish folklore." -I.B. Singer, Nobel Prize, 1978 "Juicy, savory, spicy." -Henry Miller The Yiddish sayings in this book have been praised by such world-acclaimed writers as Henry Miller and Isaac Bashevis Singer. They should equally delight all who can appreciate the coarse, wry humor of the turn-of-the-century European shtetl, which gave rise to so much of American humor as well. Some may be offended by their sexuality and lewdness, but they expose the basic humanity of a lost Jewish culture. For too long eydlkayt - refinement - has drawn a curtain over the smutty side of the shtetl. Enjoyable folklore, funny sayings you'll find yourself using in quite modern situations.
