Yes... My Retarded Ass Signed Up PDF Download
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Author: M!Chael Mayhem
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1434326217
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 181
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Book Description
The title for my novel is taken from a scripture verse out of the book of Revelation. The connection is made by relating that verse to Jeffery Lucas, the main character in The Pretender Lamb. Prior to meeting Jessica Thompson, Jeffery spends most of his early life only pretending to be what others expected of him While he was on a Fall vacation in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee, Jeffery meets and falls in love with Jessica, a school teacher from Madison, Wisconsin. A misunderstanding during the single night they stayed on the summit of Mt. Le Conte leads them into a journey of slopes and grades over the following years of their lives. The hopes and dreams of both Jeffery and Jessica are laid bare as they allow themselves to be completely open with another person for the first time in their lives. Jeffery tells of how he was raised in a small Iowa town and learned at an early age to fend for himself. Jessica tells of how fate had found her still single at thirty, but with a satisfied mind. The Pretender Lamb is a love story bursting at the seams with twists and turns. Its pages are splashed with equal amounts of humor, sadness, faith and hope. Those on both sides of the morality issue will get a chuckle from this story although they may need a good supply of tissues to dab at their tears as well. The Pretender Lamb takes a pass at explaining the experience of dejavu from a Christian point of view. Although the explanation is no more than an opinion, it should provoke some deeper thought on the subject. Anyone who has had heart problems, or known someone that has, will feel a strong tugging at their emotions as they get lost in the lives of Jeffery and Jessica. The Pretender Lamb is a story of failing health and healing, and of broken spirits and those lifted up again.
Author: M!Chael Mayhem
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1434326217
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 181
Get Book Here
Book Description
The title for my novel is taken from a scripture verse out of the book of Revelation. The connection is made by relating that verse to Jeffery Lucas, the main character in The Pretender Lamb. Prior to meeting Jessica Thompson, Jeffery spends most of his early life only pretending to be what others expected of him While he was on a Fall vacation in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee, Jeffery meets and falls in love with Jessica, a school teacher from Madison, Wisconsin. A misunderstanding during the single night they stayed on the summit of Mt. Le Conte leads them into a journey of slopes and grades over the following years of their lives. The hopes and dreams of both Jeffery and Jessica are laid bare as they allow themselves to be completely open with another person for the first time in their lives. Jeffery tells of how he was raised in a small Iowa town and learned at an early age to fend for himself. Jessica tells of how fate had found her still single at thirty, but with a satisfied mind. The Pretender Lamb is a love story bursting at the seams with twists and turns. Its pages are splashed with equal amounts of humor, sadness, faith and hope. Those on both sides of the morality issue will get a chuckle from this story although they may need a good supply of tissues to dab at their tears as well. The Pretender Lamb takes a pass at explaining the experience of dejavu from a Christian point of view. Although the explanation is no more than an opinion, it should provoke some deeper thought on the subject. Anyone who has had heart problems, or known someone that has, will feel a strong tugging at their emotions as they get lost in the lives of Jeffery and Jessica. The Pretender Lamb is a story of failing health and healing, and of broken spirits and those lifted up again.
Author: Paul Bouchard
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1450240348
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 245
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Book Description
It wasnt supposed to be this way. Twenty-six-year-old Jack Boudreau is a struggling stringer reporter out of Bangor, Maine, who suddenly finds himself standing inside a cattle truck with forty other members of his platoon. Forced to enlist in the Army due to financial pressures, Jack heads to basic training in Missouri, with only two duffle bags to keep him company. After completing training as an Army journalist at the Defense Information School, Jack receives orders to report to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. His new roommate is Specialist Dustin Boros, who has all the qualities of a successful entrepreneurcharisma and ambition, endless patience, a willingness to take risks, an eye for talent, and an uncanny knack to schmooze. The only problem is that Boros business is managing an illegal cash crop of marijuana. When Jack discovers Boros and his cohorts are operating a drug ring, he has no idea that his roommate is creating an elaborate plan to get him kicked out of the Army. In this gripping military thriller, one man must fight to defend his honor amidst corruption and evil and hes under the gun to solve the puzzle before it is too late.
Author: S.D. Turner
Publisher: Outskirts Press
ISBN: 1977230652
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 358
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Book Description
“This book makes you want more. I simply could not put it down –marvelous storytelling. Aside from being incredibly funny, S.D. Turner honors America’s soldiers past and present. I could easily see A Soldier’s Tale of Combating Hangovers being produced into a miniseries.” ̶ MAJ Donald “Captain Hand-grenade” Vandergriff, MA, RFSA, US Army (Retired) A Soldier’s Tale of Combating Hangovers: Debauchery Before the Internet is hands-down, the laugh-out-loud military guidebook to life in the U.S. Army in the early 1990s. In his debut memoir, author S.D. Turner brilliantly captures the hysterical side of life in the military. A week after his eighteenth birthday, he finds himself at Ft. Knox, Kentucky, training as an armored crewman aboard the M1A1 battle tank. As a new recruit, the story begins with him running from furious drill sergeants and ends with him running from angry 1800-pound bulls in the twisty, cobbled streets of Pamplona, Spain. Ride along as the author precariously finds himself naked, driving a 10-ton Army truck for his first adventure on Germany’s famed autobahn—all with an overzealous audience of French tour buses! Find out what happens to your drunken hero as he starts a beerfest brawl and almost goes to military prison for following his commander’s orders. It’s a non-stop, wild ride down memory lane that will, at times, have you on the edge of your seat or laughing yourself to the floor. It will definitely have you asking your friends and family more questions about their time in the military.
Author: Craig Alanson
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781973292418
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 299
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Book Description
United Nations Special Operations Command sent an elite Expeditionary Force of soldiers and pilots out on a simple recon mission, and somehow along the way they sparked an alien civil war. Now the not-at-all-Merry Band of Pirates is in desperate trouble, again. Their stolen alien starship is falling apart, thousands of lightyears from home. The ancient alien AI they nicknamed 'Skippy' is apparently dead, and even if they can by some miracle revive him, he might never be the same.
Author: Wanda Sykes
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416505571
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 258
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Book Description
Wanda Sykes reduces people to tears -- tears of laughter. She's done so as a stand-up comic, a sitcom star, and a sports commentator for years now, and in the process she's gained a huge fan base nationwide. Now that she's conquered television, she's applying her genius to her first book, Yeah, I Said It. Here, Wanda presents hilarious and uncensored commentary on sex, family, politics, celebrities, and much more than she could ever say in a sound bite. But then again, she's a genius with a sound bite too. Here's what she says about men and football. "I used to think that football took place in this overbearing male-only environment that bled masculine domination. But the more I attend, the more I realize these football fans could actually be experiencing the straight man's gay pride parade. You see men painting each other's faces in bright colors. You see men proud to wear another man's last name on their shirt. You see some men wear no shirt at all....Hot wieners on every corner as you walk up to the main competition. Men open the back of their trunks for a little tailgating." Here's what she says about women: "Women are taking stripper classes in hopes their men will stop going to strip clubs....You can't compete with those strippers....You gotta have...the stripper mentality. In other words, the ability to lie like a dog for a measly buck. A stripper will tell your man anything for a dollar. 'Oow, I thought you were Brad Pitt.' " An uproarious and irreverent collection from one of today's foremost comedic talents, Yeah, I Said It is Wanda Sykes at her uncensored best. Here, she channels her sharp wit into funny bits on the truth as she sees it from the halls of government in Washington, D.C., to the red carpets and boardrooms of Hollywood. Imbued with her razor-sharp voice, these essays showcase Sykes's sidesplitting candor and her trademark brand of comedy.
Author: William Kent Krueger
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451645856
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336
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Book Description
Includes an excerpt from William Kent Krueger's "This tender land."
Author: Allie Brosh
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451666187
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 384
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Book Description
#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
Author: Racquel Williams
Publisher: Urban Renaissance
ISBN: 1622868358
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 300
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Book Description
Chicks are always screaming, “Leave my man alone!" but in reality, they need to be checking their men. Tiana Caldwell is not falling for that foolery. She lives by the code that if your man wanted you, he would not stray. She doesn't care if the man she is in love with turns out to be her best friend's man. Ayana Beasley has it all wrong. She thinks that good sex and babies will help her hold on to the man she loves. That is, until she realizes that he is in love with another woman. Broken and hurt, Ayana turns to the one person she thinks she can trust: her best sister-friend, Tiana Caldwell. Watch the drama unfold between these two women who share the same bed, share clothes, and eat out of the same pot, as they compete for one man. It's winner takes all, and these ladies are playing for keeps. How will it end? Will they throw away their friendship over a man, or will they both walk away from him?
Author: Elle Louise
Publisher: Balboa Press
ISBN:
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 184
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Book Description
Heart wrenching book with triumph over tragedy. Elle found the inner strength and courage to move beyond the devastation that surrounded her. A soul touching read...definitely a 5. -America K. West Palm Beach, FL This book left my heart hurting for Elle and children like her. The family members each hid their own lies and shame... It inspired me to know these same children can become the strength of the world. What we (I) do matters! ... - Jean B. Round Lake, IL From her earliest childhood memories until the age of 17, Elle fought a battle that didn't belong to her but to adults. At 4, she was removed from her parents due to physical abuse...and that was just the beginning. Elle quickly learned how to survive each situation she was given: adoption, foster care, abandonment, sexual, physical, emotional abuse, secrets, and later the search and rejection by her biological father. She was always able to hide under a smile of masks at school. But everything changed the night her father put a gun to her head. That was the defining moment. Elle realized if she didn't take things into her own hands and escape the abuse, she would probably end up dead. This memoir is the true story of Elle’s journey to save her own life and begin a new one. It is an inspiring voyage of relentless courage, self-reliance, and most of all forgiveness. Through her darkest challenges she never lost hope. She found that love and life can still exist if you never give up and remain steadfast in your personal quest for healing. Elle fought being a victim and became a “Survivor.”
Author: Fredrik deBoer
Publisher: All Points Books
ISBN: 1250200385
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 149
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Book Description
Named one of Vulture’s Top 10 Best Books of 2020! Leftist firebrand Fredrik deBoer exposes the lie at the heart of our educational system and demands top-to-bottom reform. Everyone agrees that education is the key to creating a more just and equal world, and that our schools are broken and failing. Proposed reforms variously target incompetent teachers, corrupt union practices, or outdated curricula, but no one acknowledges a scientifically-proven fact that we all understand intuitively: Academic potential varies between individuals, and cannot be dramatically improved. In The Cult of Smart, educator and outspoken leftist Fredrik deBoer exposes this omission as the central flaw of our entire society, which has created and perpetuated an unjust class structure based on intellectual ability. Since cognitive talent varies from person to person, our education system can never create equal opportunity for all. Instead, it teaches our children that hierarchy and competition are natural, and that human value should be based on intelligence. These ideas are counter to everything that the left believes, but until they acknowledge the existence of individual cognitive differences, progressives remain complicit in keeping the status quo in place. This passionate, voice-driven manifesto demands that we embrace a new goal for education: equality of outcomes. We must create a world that has a place for everyone, not just the academically talented. But we’ll never achieve this dream until the Cult of Smart is destroyed.
