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Author:
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1467892025
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 125
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Book Description
Author:
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1467892025
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 125
Get Book Here
Book Description
Author: Diana Pharaoh Francis
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781944756079
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Beck Wyatt has always hated her mother-enough to kill her. As luck would have it, someone beats her to murdering Mommy Dearest and now Beck gets to plan the tackiest funeral the world has ever seen for the worst woman she's ever known.But first, Beck has a few minor problems to deal with. First on the list? Avoid getting kidnapped. She also has to convince the police she didn't kill her mother. And then there's surviving a death curse ¿.With the help of her three best friends, cheesecake, and a little magic, Beck figures she can handle anything, even the mysterious and irritating Damon Matroviani, whose sexy good-looks light her panties on fire.All too soon, her life is turned inside out, and just when things are looking like they can't get any worse ¿ everything hits the fan.
Author: Kresley Cole
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1849834296
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338
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Book Description
On the night lovely Néomi Renate, a famous ballerina at the turn of the century, was murdered, an evil force turned her into a spectre - a phantom that's neither alive nor dead - and cursed her to relive her harrowing death every month during the full moon. Unable to leave her home, she has managed to scare away any trespassers, until she encounters an inhabitant even more terrifying than Néomi herself. When Conrad Wroth, a vampire warlord who's been half-mad for centuries, first beholds Néomi, he knows nothing will stop him from claiming the ethereal beauty as his own - not even death itself. Yet even if the gruff warrior can win her love and defeat the evil that surrounds her, he still must determine a way to bring her fully back to life, and back to him.
Author: Jim Reaper
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781724152206
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 56
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Book Description
Put the fun back in funeral with DEAD JOKES. A collection of tasteless jokes about death. Nothing is off limits.Most of these joke are crude and if you are easily offended then maybe you should check out DAD JOKES which are typically far less shocking. These jokes are not politically correct and will offend some people. Not suitable for children. Not suitable for adults who are not morally corrupt.
Author: Kathy Benjamin
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 1683692950
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 177
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Book Description
You can’t attend your own funeral. But you can have a blast planning it! Death is scary—but planning your funeral doesn't have to be! It's Your Funeral! will help demystify death, decrease your anxiety, and put the fun back in funeral, whether that means a drunken bacchanal or a somber reflection on just how great you were. Every stage of the legacy planning process is considered, from a burial outfit to a funeral theme. Practical and cheeky questions alike are answered, including: • What is the most eco-friendly burial method? • Can I write my own obituary? • Can my body be shot into space after I die? • How can I manage my digital legacy? Offering a plethora of curious facts, strange stories, and inspiration to help you think outside the coffin, It’s Your Funeral! includes worksheets that will ensure your wishes are recorded for posterity. Planning for death should be the time of your life, so let’s get started!
Author: Alan Hounshell
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781071364062
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 108
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Book Description
Two Act play - The story centers around the Bellenasto and the Garrison families who were once close to each other, but they have drifted apart over the years. The families are unexpectantly brought back together when each has a family member die at the same time. In order to save money and time, both families decide to have their funeral services on the same day. Fortunately for them, the funeral home they chose is owned by Marshall Causeway whose business is struggling to survive. In order to get their business, Marshall makes the families a really good deal to beat his competitor - the big corporate funeral company of Burroughs and Burroughs Funeral Emporium. He promises each family as part of his new business plan to put the FUN back into FUNeral. What is discovered as the story unfolds is that the Bellenasto' s deceased patriarch had an affair with the Garrison family's matriarch. To make things more complicated, prior to getting married, the widow (Shelly) and widower (Stanley) were in a relationship. Between Marshall trying to put the FUN in FUNeral and the bickering of the families, something will eventually have to give in this humorous macabre situation. Will the families be able to forgive their deceased? Will the Causeway Funeral home be able to thrive in the new world? Will Shelly and Stanley pick up where they left off now their spouses have kicked the bucket? What other family secrets will fall out of the closet?
Author: Lance Rubin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 147112424X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 308
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Book Description
'Denton's funny, self-effacing genuineness will keep readers rooting for him' Kirkus Reviews 'Full belly-laugh funny' Notes From The Underground 'Freaking hilarious' goodreads.com 'Very, very funny . . . fresh, original and an absolute joy to read' thebookbag.co.uk 'This book! Oh my god, this book is brilliant! … It's so exciting and awesome! Who has ever heard of a teen angsty, hilariously funny, fast-paced, exciting dystopian? I love it!' Once Upon a Bookcase The first of two books, Denton Little's Deathdateis an utterly gripping read - with a killer plot twist, hilarious characters, and atruly memorable voice. Imminent death has never been so funny!Denton Little's Deathdatetakes place in a world exactly like our own - except that everyone knows the day on which they will die. For Denton, that's in just two days - the day of his senior prom. Despite his early deathdate, Denton has always wanted to live a normal life - but his final days are filled with dramatic firsts. First hangover. First sex. First love triangle (the first sex seems to have happened not with his adoring girlfriend, but with his best friend's sister. Though he's not totallysure - see, first hangover). His anxiety builds when he discovers a mysterious purple rash making its way up his body. Is this what will kill him? Then a strange man shows up at his funeral, claiming to have known Denton's long-deceased mother, and warning him to beware of suspicious characters . . . Suddenly Denton's life is filled with mysterious questions and precious little time to find the answers. Debut author Lance Rubin takes us on a fast, gripping, and outrageously funny ride through the last hours of a teenager's life as he searches for love, meaning and (just maybe) a way to live on . . .
Author: Kathy Benjamin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 144055708X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 227
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Book Description
True stories that put the, er, "fun" back into funerals! The hereafter may still be part of the great unknown, but with Funerals to Die For you can unearth the rich--and often, dark--history of funeral rites. From getting a portrait painted with a loved one's ashes to purchasing a safety coffin complete with bells and breathing tubes, this book takes you on a whirlwind tour of funeral customs and trivia from all over the globe. Inside, you'll find more than 100 unbelievable traditions, practices, and facts, such as: The remains of a loved one can be launched into deep space for only $1,000. In Taiwan, strippers are hired to entertain funeral guests throughout the ceremony. Undertakers for the Tongan royal family weren't allowed to use their hands for 100 days after preparing a king's body. In the late 1800s, New Englanders would gulp down a cocktail of water and their family member's ashes in order to keep them from returning as vampires. Whether you fear being buried alive or just have a morbid curiosity of the other side, Funerals to Die For examines what may happen when another person dies.
Author: Gayden Metcalfe
Publisher: Hachette+ORM
ISBN: 1401305741
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 214
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Book Description
A hilarious guide to the intricate rituals, customs, and etiquette surrounding death in the South-and a practical collection of recipes for the final send-off. As author Gayden Metcalfe asserts, people in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down south, they don't forget you when you've up and died-they may even like you better and visit you more often! But just as there is an appropriate way to live your life in the South, there is an equally essentially tasteful way of departing it-and the funeral is the final social event of your existence so it must be handled flawlessly. Metcalfe portrays this slice of American culture from the manners, customs, and the tomato aspic with mayonnaise that characterize the Delta way of death. Southerners love to swap tales, and Gayden Metcalfe, native of Greenville, MS, founder of the Greenville Arts Council and chairman of the St. James Episcopal Church Bazaar, is steeped in the stories and traditions of this rich region. She reminisces about the prominent family that drank too much and got the munchies the night before the big event-and left not a crumb for the funeral (Naturally some early rising, quick-witted ladies from the church saved the day, so the story demonstrates some solutions to potential entertaining disasters!). Then there was the lady who allocated money to have "Home on the Range" sung at the service, and the family that insisted on a portrait of their mother in her casket, only to refuse to pay for it on the grounds that "Mama looks so sad." Each chapter ends with an authentic southern recipe that will come in handy if you "plan to die tastefully", including Boiled Bourbon Custard; Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake; Pickled Shrimp; Homemade Mayonnaise; and Homemade Rolls.
Author: Neo Coloration
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 60
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Book Description
Morticians, also known as undertakers, funeral directors, or "death service" professionals, prepare bodies for burial or cremation, and they arrange the details of the funeral service and other end-of-life matters. They own compassion, as well as good interpersonal, business and time-management skills. They also have knowledge of laws and ethics regarding funeral service and preparations. Working as a Mortician isn't easy and can be very stressful. Studies have shown that coloring is one of the best stress-relieving activities that help you stay inspired and in the moment. Feel relaxed and melts stress away if you want to continue to function at your best. Enjoy the snarky Mortician Life with each page you color. This coloring book contains funny and humorous Mortician-related designs and sayings surrounded by intricate details, beautiful patterns, mandalas, and flowers, etc... Perfect Gift for Morticians - Humorous Coloring book for Grown-Ups Features: Large 8 1/2 by 11-inch paper (22cm x 28cm) pages. Single-sided pages for easy removal and no bleed-through. Printed on pure white paper, 60lb-pound stock. Contains 25 unique illustrations. 2 Color test pages at the back of the book.
