When Pleasing You Is Killing Me

When Pleasing You Is Killing Me PDF Author: Les Carter
Publisher: Bookbaby
ISBN: 9781543935127
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Get Book Here

Book Description
While people pleasers can be some of the nicest people you'll meet, they have an uncanny knack for finding themselves in relationships with controllers. Knowing how pleasers are motivated by duty and obligation, the controllers will persuade, cajole, argue, and convince, knowing they can erode the resolve of the pleaser rather quickly. This, of course, leaves the pleaser with residual feelings of hurt, anxiety, and resentment. Because pleasers are not as skilled in the art of coercion as the controller, they can collapse in feelings of futility. In the book, When Pleasing You Is Killing Me, Dr. Les Carter explains how the pleaser can become freed from futility by choosing to stay out of the controller's power games altogether. Drawing upon decades of counseling with a wide array of frustrated nice people, Dr. Carter gives sound direction to those seeking to reclaim their true selves. Relationship boundaries are explained, assertiveness is taught, and insights are offered as the reader is guided into a paradigm shift regarding the ways to respond to a controller.

When Pleasing You Is Killing Me

When Pleasing You Is Killing Me PDF Author: Les Carter
Publisher: Bookbaby
ISBN: 9781543935127
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Get Book Here

Book Description
While people pleasers can be some of the nicest people you'll meet, they have an uncanny knack for finding themselves in relationships with controllers. Knowing how pleasers are motivated by duty and obligation, the controllers will persuade, cajole, argue, and convince, knowing they can erode the resolve of the pleaser rather quickly. This, of course, leaves the pleaser with residual feelings of hurt, anxiety, and resentment. Because pleasers are not as skilled in the art of coercion as the controller, they can collapse in feelings of futility. In the book, When Pleasing You Is Killing Me, Dr. Les Carter explains how the pleaser can become freed from futility by choosing to stay out of the controller's power games altogether. Drawing upon decades of counseling with a wide array of frustrated nice people, Dr. Carter gives sound direction to those seeking to reclaim their true selves. Relationship boundaries are explained, assertiveness is taught, and insights are offered as the reader is guided into a paradigm shift regarding the ways to respond to a controller.

Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me

Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me PDF Author: Les Carter
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 0470185147
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 215

Get Book Here

Book Description
Those who are in the unenviable position of living or working with a narcissist have learned by sad trial and error that they are the only one in the relationship who can change the dynamic. Certainly narcissists don’t think they need to change. Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me is a hands-on resource for helping colleagues, families, and spouses deal with people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies by learning how to change their own attitudes and responses.

Grace and Divorce

Grace and Divorce PDF Author: Les Carter
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 047049011X
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 230

Get Book Here

Book Description
Grace and Divorce, written by noted author and psychotherapist, Dr. Les Carter, provides sound theological thinking on divorce and wise and compassionate suggestions for reframing and deepening our understanding of this difficult and controversial topic. Using stories from his practice as a therapist, Dr. Carter offers healing to both those who divorce and those who know and love them. He explains that Jesus never intended us to be so fixed about right and wrong and so judgmental that we lose the ability to love those who do not meet His perfect standards. With kindness and love, he shows that the wonderful gift of God’s grace is the best way to respond to people facing this trying life challenge.

Working with You Is Killing Me

Working with You Is Killing Me PDF Author: Katherine Crowley
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780446586672
Category : BUSINESS & ECONOMICS
Languages : en
Pages : 153

Get Book Here

Book Description
This authoritative manual provides valuable insights for turning conflicts inthe workplace into productive working relationships.

Fixing You Is Killing Me

Fixing You Is Killing Me PDF Author: Stuart Motola
Publisher: Crescendo Publishing, LLC
ISBN: 9781948719049
Category : Couples
Languages : en
Pages : 148

Get Book Here

Book Description
You're looking across the dinner table at your partner. The thought comes into your mind: Is this it? Is this what life for us is going to be like forever? You've lost your appetite. You're not sure if the questions are valid or not, but they come anyway. If this is true for you, Fixing You is Killing Me is a must-read. Stuart Motola knows the landscape. He lived it in a twenty-year marriage and has consistently guided his coaching clients to a positive resolution. He can help you navigate a relationship that has flatlined back to a life of freedom, high energy, and fulfillment. In Fixing You is Killing Me, he pulls no punches, opens his heart, and shares his wisdom with clarity. Stuart's book delivers on the promise that conscious action will lead you to the authentic, energized life you were born to live. Other insights include how to: - Act courageously when your relationship challenges arise. - Unhook from old unhealthy relational patterns that keep you stuck. - Use relationship struggles to grow, get wiser, and come alive. - Cultivate a relationship with both passion and security. - Know the difference between a love that makes you bigger versus smaller. - Rediscover and cultivate who you seek to be and manifest it in your relationship. - Confront your fear of loss and honor the gifts you've created with your partner when and if change is inevitable.

Killing Comparison

Killing Comparison PDF Author: Nona Jones
Publisher: Zondervan
ISBN: 0310365244
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Get Book Here

Book Description
It's time to leave behind the discontent of comparison and discover a free and joyful life. Join Pastor Nona Jones--who was recently featured on GMA3--as she gives you the tools you need to kill comparison once and for all. Nearly all of us deal with the struggle of comparison and finding ourselves lacking. But there is a way to break free from internal and external messages communicating a lack of self-worth. It starts with identifying the basis of your urge to compare and ends with securing your identity to the unchanging confidence of God's love for you. Nona Jones knows this journey all too well. Throughout her life and in her career--most recently as an executive for the world's largest social media company--Nona discovered that despite professional success, true confidence can only be achieved by defeating toxic comparison and securing our identity to God's approval alone. Killing Comparison provides a fresh, biblically rooted perspective on an age-old human dilemma--the pressure to compare oneself to others--that the era of social media has exacerbated and heightened. This timely and necessary guide will help you: Determine your true source of self-worth Develop practical ways to conquer daily comparison Learn how to control social media instead of letting it control you Discover how to accomplish your dreams without comparing yourself at every turn Identify the root cause leading you to compare your life to others Through practical insight and down-to-earth encouragement, Nona helps you avoid the despair of comparison and pursue a free, joyful life.

People Pleasers

People Pleasers PDF Author: Les Carter
Publisher:
ISBN: 9789810450724
Category : Helping behavior
Languages : en
Pages : 199

Get Book Here

Book Description


Silently Seduced

Silently Seduced PDF Author: Kenneth M. Adams
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
ISBN: 0757315879
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 194

Get Book Here

Book Description
In this revised and updated 20th anniversary edition of his groundbreaking book, Dr. Kenneth Adams, a leading expert on covert incest, sex addiction, and childhood trauma, offers tools for identifying and healing from covert incestuous relationships that affect adult relationships and lives. He explains how 'feeling close' with a parent is not always the source of comfort the phrase suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. Dr. Adams includes a new Q&A section that directly addresses issues including: • How can this be incestuous when there is no physical sexual contact? • Why is sexual addiction so common with covert incest survivors? • Why is it so hard for covert incest survivors to commit to romantic relationships? • If my partner is a covert incest survivor, how can I help? • Can I pass covert incest on to my children? Through new findings and expanded discussions on 'engulfment,' 'excessive guilt,' 'loyalty,' and 'narcissism,' and others, Silently Seduced offers a framework to understand covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships to facilitate the process of recovery.

Healing the Shame that Binds You

Healing the Shame that Binds You PDF Author: John Bradshaw
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
ISBN: 0757303234
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 338

Get Book Here

Book Description
This classic book, written 17 years ago but still selling more than 13,000 copies every year, has been completely updated and expanded by the author. "I used to drink," writes John Bradshaw,"to solve the problems caused by drinking. The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed." Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures.

The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness

The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness PDF Author: Sherrie Mansfield Vavrichek
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 1608821730
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 257

Get Book Here

Book Description
Speaking up for yourself has benefits, but it has costs, too. Many people who struggle with assertiveness are paralyzed by worries that they’ll seem mean, petty, or that they will hurt the other person’s feelings. Even though they want to speak up, they may keep their true needs and opinions to themselves because of these fears—eventually building stress, resentment, and alienation. The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness does not require that readers ignore the needs of others and focus solely on their own desires. Rather, this unique blend of cognitive behavioral therapy-based assertiveness training and Buddhist psychology helps readers practice assertiveness skills while caring deeply about the welfare of others. This book helps readers develop a form of assertiveness that emphasizes collaboration, negotiation, and compromise. It focuses on speaking up for the benefit of others and speaking up for the relationship, not just one’s own needs. In this way, readers learn to assert their needs in ways that match their compassionate value systems. This book is the ideal assertiveness guide for those who are afraid of rejection, have a deep concern for how others perceive them, often feel judged by others, or have difficulty expressing their feelings and needs. Readers learn to apply assertiveness skills in all domains of their lives, including in romantic relationships, as parents, at work, and in social settings.