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Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792490
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 137
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Book Description
Faster than you can dial 9-1-1, author Leland Gregory delivers his follow-up to What's the Number for 911 with more real-life calls to the country's emergency operators. What's the Number for 911 Again' answers the urgent call for more of these wacky conversations. "Can you unplug my coffeepot I left on at my house" "Where can I get rid of my Christmas tree" Amazing and hilarious!
Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792490
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 137
Get Book Here
Book Description
Faster than you can dial 9-1-1, author Leland Gregory delivers his follow-up to What's the Number for 911 with more real-life calls to the country's emergency operators. What's the Number for 911 Again' answers the urgent call for more of these wacky conversations. "Can you unplug my coffeepot I left on at my house" "Where can I get rid of my Christmas tree" Amazing and hilarious!
Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740793543
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 274
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Book Description
New York Times Bestseller: Welcome to the land of the free, the home of the brave—and, apparently, the dumb, bizarre, and gullible . . . Did you know that . . . *John Tyler was on his knees playing marbles when he was informed that Benjamin Harrison had died and he was now president of the United States *For reasons still unknown, Texas congressman Thomas Lindsay Blanton, a Presbyterian Sunday school teacher and prohibitionist, inserted dirty words into the Congressional Record in 1921—for which his colleagues officially censured him by a vote of 293-0 *Two US presidents were indentured servants—and one of them ran away and wound up with a $10 reward posted for his capture From Columbus to George W. Bush, the bestselling coauthor of America’s Dumbest Criminals leads us through the many mythconceptions of our nation’s history in this lively book, exposing lots of entertaining moments of idiocy and inanity along the time line.
Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449405630
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242
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Book Description
From absurd 911 calls to presidential philosophizing and foolish felons, Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Following up his New York Times best-selling Stupid American History, Gregory sets his sights on the holidays as he exposes mind-numbing mistletoe maladies in Stupid Christmas: Idiots under the Mistletoe. Perhaps it's the spiked eggnog or the multiple family members gathered around crazy-colored, twinkly lights, but the holidays are rife with idiocy by the daft and the dumb. Inside this latest collection, Gregory offers more than 200 accounts of holiday-induced stupidity, including: * While smoke billowed out of the store, firefighters had to physically restrain enthusiastic shoppers from entering a Great Lakes Mall store during an electrical fire. * In 1995, officials debated over whom to invite to the city's Christmas tree ceremony: President Bill Clinton or the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. * As a joke, Andrew Jackson sent formal invitations to his Christmas ball to a well-known mother-and-daughter prostitute team in Salisbury, North Carolina.
Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449410456
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 221
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Book Description
Leland Gregory's 17 previous humor collections with AMP are all in print and all are staples on the humor backlist, including Stupid American History, which was a New York Times best-seller, and Stupid History, which has shipped over 130,000 copies. Silly, shocking, weird, and hilariously funny, the one- or two-paragraph anecdotes that comprise Gregory's new anthology of stupid things said and done by American liberals--politicians, citizens, journalists, professionals, workers, anyone who stands to the left of center--are culled from print, online, and broadcast media from all over the world. Here's a sample: * Residents of Longmont, Colorado, voted to abolish all "Dead End" signs and replace them with "No Outlet" signs. The local citizenry felt the "Dead End" signs were too unpleasant.
Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 160710606X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 481
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Book Description
Over 70% of North Americans are (water) closet readers. The Uncle John's Bathroom Readers series is still the best selling book of its kind anywhere in the world. Millions of people have discovered it over the past 25 years, making it one of the publishing industry's longest-running humor series. It's our 16th year running (so to speak) I mean, we're still going (uhh) strong. A light-hearted, easy-to-read collection of facts, quotes, history, science, word-origins, pop culture, gossip, humor . . . and more! Organized by length-"Short" (a quick read), "Medium" (1-3 pages), "Long" (for those visits when something a little more involved is required), and to satisfy every demand, our popular "Extended Sitting Section" (for a leg-numbing experience.) Running feet on every page provide a "book within a book" of weird facts. Partial Table of Contents included.
Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
ISBN: 1629148474
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 155
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Book Description
If you or someone you know has just turned fifty, it’s time to accept that the rules of life have changed, and that fifty is not the new thirty for most of us. Leland Gregory understands the forgetful minds, sagging bodies, and flagging pride of his fellow middle-agers, and in 50 Things Not to Do after 50, he offers helpful advice aimed at combating the humiliations this stage of life can bring. For example, regardless of your gender, under no circumstances should you ever attempt to wear leather pants start a story that involves a lot of names—you'll forget most of them before the story is over stalk your high school sweetheart on Facebook. You might discover the person you had the hots for in 10th grade isn’t so hot anymore get drunk in Pamplona and deciding to run with the bulls volunteer to be a drug mule Say things like "fo’shizzle," "whatev," or "cray-cray" And do we really need to mention thongs, Speedos, or jeggings? 50 Things Not to Do after 50 is a lighthearted and sometimes painfully on-target book about how what we used to do in our twenties, thirties, and forties should be avoided at all costs now that we’re in our fifties.
Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792040
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 234
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Book Description
What's the strangest question employers have been asked during an interview? Among the responses: * What is it you people do at this company? * Why aren't you in a more interesting business? * Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland? * Does you company have a policy regarding concealed weapons? --from Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace Stupidity Leland Gregory once thought crooks, politicians, and lawyers were the greatest nitwits out there, but it turns out that the working masses are packed with the dumb, dumber, and dumbest humans on the face of the planet. Gregory's look at nincompoops, Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace Stupidity, makes it crystal clear that the world's biggest jerks are on the job. Consider these examples: * The woman who sued Eastman Kodak to improve the lighting conditions on her job...in a darkroom? * The Ontario Federation of Labor, which installed a bad boss hotline to get a handle on labor problems--only to have the system crash soon after startup because too many calls came in. * The interviewee who wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Gregory has made a career out of finding the imbeciles of the world and sharing their antics with the rest of us. His AMP humor compilations What's the Number for 911?, What's the Number for 911 Again?, The Stupid Crook Book, and Hey, Idiot! were all hilarious, but Idiots at Work takes the cake. The book is filled with hilarious tales of moronic managers, office idiots, stupid shareholders, daft decision-makers, poor planners, and other outstanding examples of cubical klutzes.
Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792059
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 260
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Book Description
"It's important for people to know that I'm the president of everybody." --President George W. Bush, from Air Force One, January 14, 2005 Who Leland Gregory voted for in the 2004 presidential election is his business. But when George W. Bush won a second term, Gregory had to be doing cartwheels around his computer. The humorist, after all, makes a career of recording human behavior at, let's just say, its less-than-brilliant moments. Bush-Whacked does a thorough job of tracking the president's language mangling as well as the inept bungling of his administration: * "And so during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings . . ." --GWB at Fort Belvoir, Va., December 21, 2004. * Through bureaucratic mismanagement, parts for a top-secret spy plane, originally intended for destruction, were discovered being auctioned off on eBay. --New York Post * "(T)he illiteracy level of our children are appalling." --GWB, Washington, D.C., January 23, 2004 With his expert nose for nuttiness, Gregory includes numerous perplexing quotes, wacky anecdotes, and weird one-liners in this hysterical collection. This isn't the president at his finest, just Dubya at his funniest.
Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792075
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 151
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Book Description
Readers just can't get enough tales of government gaffes, and no one spotlights stupidity like best-selling humorist Leland Gregory. President George W. Bush and his administration can't seem to stop goofing up, and Gregory can't help writing about it. Am-Bushed! is a hilarious rundown of the mishaps, mistakes, mispronunciations, malapropisms, and misunderestimations committed by Dubya and his administration, including: * "You took an oath to defend our flag and our freedom, and you kept that oath underseas and under fire." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., January 10, 2006 * "There's a-some of the greatest programs, initiatives come out of our faith-based programs or faith-based churches or synagogues or mosques." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., January 30, 2003 * "The will of the United States can be shaken by suiciders . . . And suiciders who are willing to drive up to a Red Cross center, a center of international help and aid and comfort, and just kill . . . the strategy remains the same. The tactics to respond to more suiciders driving cars will alter on the ground." --George W. Bush, White House, October 28, 2003
Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792105
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 274
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Book Description
A treasury of historical hilarity from the New York Times-bestselling coauthor of America’s Dumbest Criminals! Why exactly is Paul Revere revered when it was Samuel Prescott who made the famous ride? Was the lightbulb really Thomas Edison’s bright idea? Bestselling author and former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory employs his masterful wit to expose historical myths, faux “facts,” strange events, and tales of human stupidity throughout history. You’ll learn that: * Magellan didn’t actually make it around the world * As a member of Parliament, Isaac Newton spoke only once, and it wasn’t exactly a statement of political brilliance for the ages * On April 24, 1898, Spain declared war on the U.S., thus starting the Spanish-American War—and then the U.S. declared war the very next day, but not wanting to be outdone, had the date on the declaration changed from April 25 to April 21 With these and many more stories, Leland Gregory once again highlights the funny side of history.
