Too Funny to be President

Too Funny to be President PDF Author: Morris K. Udall
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780816521753
Category : Political satire, American
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
"With a bumper crop of presidential candidates surfacing, I have concluded that a plague of presidentialitis has swept the nation. Speaking from experience, I must remind all these worthy contenders that once this dreaded disease-- whose symptoms include delusions of grandeur and an urge to make repeated visits to Iowa-- gets into a man's bloodstream, it can only be cured by embalming fluid." --Mo UdallMorris "Mo" Udall, Arizona's Democratic congressman for thirty years, was as well known for his sense of humor as for his dedication to environmental causes. And it was during his 1976 campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination, when he claims he drew more laughter than votes, that James K. Kilpatrick pronounced him "too funny to be president."Udall kept four black notebooks of jokes that he had collected throughout his public life. Some he heard in the courtroom or on the floor of the House; others he found in old speeches and newspaper articles; still others he swiped on the rubber-chicken circuit. This book, a memoir of Udall's career, collects many of those jokes to create a citizen's guide to the lighter side of politics."After due deliberation and two stiff drinks," Udall writes, "I decided to go ahead and write this book because I'm convinced that humor is as necessary to the health of our political discourse as it is in our private lives." Too Funny To Be President is a testament to the Udall spirit--and an example to all who would win the public's heart.

Too Funny to be President

Too Funny to be President PDF Author: Morris K. Udall
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780816521753
Category : Political satire, American
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Get Book Here

Book Description
"With a bumper crop of presidential candidates surfacing, I have concluded that a plague of presidentialitis has swept the nation. Speaking from experience, I must remind all these worthy contenders that once this dreaded disease-- whose symptoms include delusions of grandeur and an urge to make repeated visits to Iowa-- gets into a man's bloodstream, it can only be cured by embalming fluid." --Mo UdallMorris "Mo" Udall, Arizona's Democratic congressman for thirty years, was as well known for his sense of humor as for his dedication to environmental causes. And it was during his 1976 campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination, when he claims he drew more laughter than votes, that James K. Kilpatrick pronounced him "too funny to be president."Udall kept four black notebooks of jokes that he had collected throughout his public life. Some he heard in the courtroom or on the floor of the House; others he found in old speeches and newspaper articles; still others he swiped on the rubber-chicken circuit. This book, a memoir of Udall's career, collects many of those jokes to create a citizen's guide to the lighter side of politics."After due deliberation and two stiff drinks," Udall writes, "I decided to go ahead and write this book because I'm convinced that humor is as necessary to the health of our political discourse as it is in our private lives." Too Funny To Be President is a testament to the Udall spirit--and an example to all who would win the public's heart.

You Can't Spell America Without Me

You Can't Spell America Without Me PDF Author: Alec Baldwin
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 052552200X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 258

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Book Description
Political satire as deeper truth: Donald Trump’s presidential memoir, as recorded by two world-renowned Trump scholars, and experts on greatness generally "I have the best words, beautiful words, as everybody has been talking and talking about for a long time. Also? The best sentences and, what do you call them, paragraphs. My previous books were great and sold extremely, unbelievably well--even the ones by dishonest, disgusting so-called journalists. But those writers didn't understand Trump, because quite frankly they were major losers. People say if you want it done right you have to do it yourself, even when 'it' is a 'memoir.' So every word of this book was written by me, using a special advanced word processing system during the many, many nights I've been forced to stay alone in the White House--only me, just me, trust me, nobody helped. And it's all 100% true, so true--people are already saying it may be the truest book ever published. Enjoy." Until Donald Trump publishes the ultimate account of his entire four or eight or one-and-a-half years in the White House, the definitive chronicle will be You Can’t Spell America Without Me: The Really Tremendous Inside Story of My Fantastic First Year As President. Trump was elected because he was the most frank presidential candidate in history, a man eager to tell the unvarnished truth about others’ flaws and tout his own amazing excellence. Now he levels his refreshingly compulsive, un-PC candor at his landslide election victory as well as his role as commander-in-chief and leader of the free world. There are intimate, powerful, mind-boggling revelations on every page. You are there with him during his private encounters with world leaders, a few of whom he does not insult. You are there at the genius Oval Office strategy sessions with his advisers. You are there in his White House bedroom as he crafts the pre-dawn Twitter pronouncements that rock the world. And, of course, you are there on the golf course as Trump attempts to manage the burdens of his office. President Trump explains each of the historic decisions that have already made America great again, and how he always triumphs over the fake news media. You'll learn what he really thinks of his cabinet members and top aides not related to him, of the First Lady and the First Daughter and the additional three or four Trump children. Included at no extra charge is a lavish and exclusive portfolio of spectacular, historic and intimate color photographs of President Trump in private – inside the White House, inside Mar-a-Lago, at Trump Tower, and more. You Can’t Spell America Without Me is presented by America’s foremost Trump scholar Kurt Andersen as well as America's foremost mediocre Trump impersonator, Alec Baldwin. You Can't Spell America Without Me is the perfect holiday gift!

Speaking My Mind

Speaking My Mind PDF Author: Ronald Reagan
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743271114
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 436

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Book Description
The most important speeches of America's "Great Communicator": Here, in his own words, is the record of Ronald Reagan's remarkable political career and historic eight-year presidency.

Funny Kid for President

Funny Kid for President PDF Author: Matt Stanton
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062572938
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 191

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Book Description
Big Nate meets Timmy Failure in Funny Kid for President, the first book in an uproarious new middle grade series by Matt Stanton, Australia’s bestselling children’s book author. When Max gets blamed for pooping in the storeroom (which he did NOT do), tensions hit an all-time high between him and his terrifyingly large teacher, Mr. Armstrong. But then, the most unexpected thing happens—the school principal, Mrs. Sniggles, suggests Max run for class president. Max isn’t the only kid on the ballot, however. His archenemy, Abby Purcell, is also up for election—and she’s out to defeat him at all costs. To win, Max is going to need the 24/7 help of his best friend, Hugo, and he’s going to have to run the campaign of a lifetime. Max may not be the smartest or fastest kid, or the handsomest, but he just might be the funniest kid you’ll ever meet—and it’s this talent that could turn him from underdog to top dog. Max for President! Matt Stanton brings his veteran children’s book chops to this hilarious new series, perfect for early middle grade readers looking for side-splitting laughs!

Why Not Me?

Why Not Me? PDF Author: Al Franken
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141018429
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 283

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Book Description
The dramatic rise and dizzying fall of Al Franken, the first Jewish president of the United States. From the first days of the Franken campaign as the candidate pledges 'to walk the state of New Hampshire, diagonally and then from side to side' as Al, aided by his covering sex addict and alcoholic deputy campaign manager, stuns the pundits by defeating Al Gore for the democratic nomination, then is swept into office carrying all fifty states. But from that moment of triumph it's downhill all the way...

Yo, Millard Fillmore!

Yo, Millard Fillmore! PDF Author: Will Cleveland
Publisher: Millbrook Press
ISBN: 9780761302537
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 122

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Book Description
Presents facts about each president accompanied by cartoon-style illustrations to serve as memory aids and quizzes to reinforce information.

I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President

I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President PDF Author: Josh Lieb
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101150939
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 209

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Book Description
Family Guy meets Election in this hilarious young adult debut! Twelve-year-old Oliver Watson’s got the IQ of a grilled cheese sandwich. Or so everyone in Omaha thinks. In reality, Oliver’s a mad evil genius on his way to world domination, and he’s used his great brain to make himself the third-richest person on earth! Then Oliver’s father—and archnemesis—makes a crack about the upcoming middle school election, and Oliver takes it as a personal challenge. He’ll run, and he’ll win! Turns out, though, that overthrowing foreign dictators is actually way easier than getting kids to like you. . . Can this evil genius win the class presidency and keep his true identity a secret, all in time to impress his dad?

The Toddler in Chief

The Toddler in Chief PDF Author: Daniel W. Drezner
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
ISBN: 022671425X
Category : Political Science
Languages : en
Pages : 283

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Book Description
“It may be cold comfort in this chaotic era, but Americans should know that there are adults in the room. . . . And we are trying to do what’s right even when Donald Trump won’t.”—An anonymous senior administrative official in an op-ed published in a New York Times op-ed, September 5, 2018 Every president faces criticism and caricature. Donald Trump, however, is unique in that he is routinely characterized in ways more suitable for a toddler. What’s more, it is not just Democrats, pundits, or protestors who compare the president to a child; Trump’s staffers, subordinates, and allies on Capitol Hill also describe Trump like a small, badly behaved preschooler. In April 2017, Daniel W. Drezner began curating every example he could find of a Trump ally describing the president like a toddler. So far, he’s collected more than one thousand tweets—a rate of more than one a day. In The Toddler-in-Chief, Drezner draws on these examples to take readers through the different dimensions of Trump’s infantile behavior, from temper tantrums to poor impulse control to the possibility that the President has had too much screen time. How much damage can really be done by a giant man-baby? Quite a lot, Drezner argues, due to the winnowing away of presidential checks and balances over the past fifty years. In these pages, Drezner follows his theme—the specific ways in which sharing some of the traits of a toddler makes a person ill-suited to the presidency—to show the lasting, deleterious impact the Trump administration will have on American foreign policy and democracy. The “adults in the room” may not be able to rein in Trump’s toddler-like behavior, but, with the 2020 election fast approaching, the American people can think about whether they want the most powerful office turned into a poorly run political day care facility. Drezner exhorts us to elect a commander-in-chief, not a toddler-in-chief. And along the way, he shows how we must rethink the terrifying powers we have given the presidency.

Kid President's Guide to Being Awesome

Kid President's Guide to Being Awesome PDF Author: Robby Novak
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062358693
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 344

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Book Description
"This is LIFE, people! You've got air coming through your nose! You've got a heartbeat! That means it's time to do something!" announces Kid President in his book, Kid President's Guide to Being Awesome. From YouTube sensation (75 million views and counting!) to Hub Network summer series star, Kid President—ten-year-old Robby Novak—and his videos have inspired millions to dance more, to celebrate life, and to throw spontaneous parades. In his Guide to Being Awesome, Kid President pulls together lists of awesome ideas to help the world, awesome interviews with his awesome celebrity friends (he has interviewed Beyoncé!), and a step-by-step guide to make pretty much everything a little bit awesomer. Grab a corn dog and settle in to your favorite comfy chair. Pretend it's your birthday! (In fact, treat everyone like it's THEIR birthday!) Kid President is here with a 240-page, full-color Guide to Being Awesome that'll spread love and inspire the world.

Party Like a President

Party Like a President PDF Author: Brian Abrams
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 0761184228
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 273

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Book Description
There’s the office: President of the United States. And then there’s the man in the office—prone to temptation and looking to unwind after a long day running the country. Celebrating the decidedly less distinguished side of the nation’s leaders, humor writer Brian Abrams offers a compelling, hilarious, and true American history on the rocks—a Washington-to-Obama, vice-by-vice chronicle of how the presidents like to party. From explicit love letters to slurred speeches to nude swims at Bing Crosby’s house, reputations are ruined and secrets bared. George Washington brokered the end of the? American Revolution over glasses of Madeira. Ulysses S. Grant rarely drew a sober breath when he was leading the North to victory. And it wasn’t all liquor. Some presidents preferred their drugs—Nixon was a pill-popper. And others chased women instead—both ?the professorial Woodrow Wilson (who signed his love letters “Tiger”) and the good ol’ boy Bill Clinton, though neither could hold a candle to Kennedy, who also received the infamous Dr. Feelgood’s “vitamin” injections of pure amphetamine. Illustrated throughout with infographics (James Garfield’s attempts at circumnavigating the temperance movement), comic strips (George Bush Sr.’s infamous televised vomiting incident), caricatures, and fake archival documents, the book has the smart, funny feel of Mad magazine meets The Colbert Report. Plus, it includes recipes for 44 cocktails inspired by each chapter’s partier-in-chief.