The Totally Ninja Raccoon Joke Book

The Totally Ninja Raccoon Joke Book PDF Author: Kevin Coolidge
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781644674291
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 66

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Book Description
What's black and white and read all over? Why, The Totally Ninja Raccoon Joke Book, of course! Kids love jokes! They'll love this goofy joke book filled with hundreds of funny jokes and illustrations. Kids will be laughing and sharing these jokes with everyone. Great for early and reluctant readers. Be warned! These jokes are totally ninja and totally silly. The Totally Ninja Raccoons is a series of early chapter readers specifically for reluctant readers. The target audience is second through fourth grade. Short chapters, humor, adventure, and one picture per chapter keep kids feeling a sense of engagement and accomplishment as they plow through these stories and ask for more!

The Totally Ninja Raccoon Joke Book

The Totally Ninja Raccoon Joke Book PDF Author: Kevin Coolidge
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781644674291
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 66

Get Book Here

Book Description
What's black and white and read all over? Why, The Totally Ninja Raccoon Joke Book, of course! Kids love jokes! They'll love this goofy joke book filled with hundreds of funny jokes and illustrations. Kids will be laughing and sharing these jokes with everyone. Great for early and reluctant readers. Be warned! These jokes are totally ninja and totally silly. The Totally Ninja Raccoons is a series of early chapter readers specifically for reluctant readers. The target audience is second through fourth grade. Short chapters, humor, adventure, and one picture per chapter keep kids feeling a sense of engagement and accomplishment as they plow through these stories and ask for more!

The Totally Ninja Raccoons Meet Bigfoot

The Totally Ninja Raccoons Meet Bigfoot PDF Author: Kevin Coolidge
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780692592557
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 44

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Book Description
In The Totally Ninja Raccoons meet Bigfoot, our protagonists discover they are not meant to be ordinary bandits, but rather carry the potential to be something extraordinary, ninjas. In this origin story, the Ninja Raccoons begin their ninja training, and meet their first potential employer--Gypsy the Cat. Gypsy sends the Raccoons on their first mission, to capture the elusive Bigfoot. Things aren't what they seem to be. Bigfoot isn't the monstrous beast, as he's been portrayed. Gypsy isn't the benign employer. Cats want to take over the world. The Totally Ninja Raccoons learn that sometimes you have to choose your own path if you want to choose your destination.

Furiously Happy

Furiously Happy PDF Author: Jenny Lawson
Publisher: Flatiron Books
ISBN: 125007701X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 352

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Book Description
In Furiously Happy, #1 New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. But terrible ideas are what Jenny does best. As Jenny says: "Some people might think that being 'furiously happy' is just an excuse to be stupid and irresponsible and invite a herd of kangaroos over to your house without telling your husband first because you suspect he would say no since he's never particularly liked kangaroos. And that would be ridiculous because no one would invite a herd of kangaroos into their house. Two is the limit. I speak from personal experience. My husband says that none is the new limit. I say he should have been clearer about that before I rented all those kangaroos. "Most of my favorite people are dangerously fucked-up but you'd never guess because we've learned to bare it so honestly that it becomes the new normal. Like John Hughes wrote in The Breakfast Club, 'We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it.' Except go back and cross out the word 'hiding.'" Furiously Happy is about "taking those moments when things are fine and making them amazing, because those moments are what make us who we are, and they're the same moments we take into battle with us when our brains declare war on our very existence. It's the difference between "surviving life" and "living life". It's the difference between "taking a shower" and "teaching your monkey butler how to shampoo your hair." It's the difference between being "sane" and being "furiously happy." Lawson is beloved around the world for her inimitable humor and honesty, and in Furiously Happy, she is at her snort-inducing funniest. This is a book about embracing everything that makes us who we are - the beautiful and the flawed - and then using it to find joy in fantastic and outrageous ways. Because as Jenny's mom says, "Maybe 'crazy' isn't so bad after all." Sometimes crazy is just right.

Rebecca, White House Raccoon

Rebecca, White House Raccoon PDF Author: Kevin Coolidge
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781637959985
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 42

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Book Description
A raccoon in the White House? Did you know that President Calvin Coolidge, America's 30th president, had a pet raccoon? Her name was Rebecca, and this is the true story of the most famous raccoon to grace the White House.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened

Let's Pretend This Never Happened PDF Author: Jenny Lawson
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0425261018
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 385

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Book Description
The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

The Indigo Scarf

The Indigo Scarf PDF Author: P J Piccirillo
Publisher: Brown Posey Press
ISBN: 9781620061695
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 332

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Book Description
The Indigo Scarf chronicles the crossing lives of escaped slaves Jedediah James and George Sharpe as they flee with their white wives into the wilderness of Pennsylvania's Sinnemahone country, on the upper reaches of the West Branch of the Susquehanna River, during the frontier decades after Pennsylvania's last Indian purchase. The novel opens, however, in 1882 in Washington's Baltimore and Potomac Railroad station. Narrator Anna Maria Sharpe is departing for the backwoods of north-central Pennsylvania, which she fled in her teens doubtful of her identity. She encounters Benjamin James, now a drifting, alcoholic longshoreman, who'd been implicated in the murder of his brother during Anna Maria's childhood. Benjamin decides to join her on the journey. Along the way, we follow the tale of the founders of their sordid hideaway settlement: his father, the infamous ex-slave Jedediah James; George Sharpe, a former indentured grist-miller whom Anna Maria believes was her grandfather; and the white women they had escaped with to the wild Sinnemahone country, Sarah James and Rosanna Sharpe. Through the story, Anna Maria learns that the man Benjamin had been accused of murdering had been her father, and the murderer, her half-brother. Benjamin's account of the life of Jedediah James reveals a fatal obsession with ownership driving this freed slave toward his reckoning. Hostilities build to a head between James and his wife's father-the august revolutionary war veteran Samson Starret-as well as Sarah's ex-suitor, Williamsport's Thomas Tillman, a man fixated on this woman whom an ex-slave stole from him on the eve of their arranged marriage. The scenes of The Indigo Scarf take the reader from a plantation in Virginia's tidewater region to the tragic end of a whiskey and timber-pirating operation on the Susquehanna's un-peopled and feral West Branch during the frontier decades after Pennsylvania's last Indian purchase.

Raccoon Rampage (Awesome Animals)

Raccoon Rampage (Awesome Animals) PDF Author: Andrew Cope
Publisher: HarperCollins UK
ISBN: 0007462611
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 78

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Book Description
From the award-winning author of the Spy Dog series comes a wildly funny tale in HarperCollins’ Awesome Animals series – the funniest fiction, starring the wildest of wildlife from leading authors.

John Dies at the End

John Dies at the End PDF Author: Jason Pargin
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 142995678X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 479

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Book Description
John Dies at the End is a genre-bending, humorous account of two college drop-outs inadvertently charged with saving their small town--and the world--from a host of supernatural and paranormal invasions. Now a Major Motion Picture. "[Pargin] is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement." —Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The sauce is a drug, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.

Iron & Velvet

Iron & Velvet PDF Author: Alexis Hall
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781626490499
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 252

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Book Description
"First rule in this line of business: don't sleep with the client." My name's Kate Kane, and when an eight-hundred-year-old vampire prince came to me with a case, I should have told her no. But I've always been a sucker for a femme fatale. It always goes the same way. You move too fast, you get in too deep, and before you know it, someone winds up dead. Last time it was my partner. This time it could be me. Yesterday a werewolf was murdered outside the Velvet, the night-time playground of one of the most powerful vampires in England. Now half the monsters in London are at each other's throats, and the other half are trying to get in my pants. The Witch Queen will protect her own, the wolves are out for vengeance, and the vampires are out for, y'know, blood. I've got a killer on the loose, a war on the horizon, and a scotch on the rocks. It's going to be an interesting day.

Welfare

Welfare PDF Author: Steve Anwyll
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780999218662
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 256

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Book Description
Welfare is a coming-of-age novel about one high school boy against the world, the system, and adulthood. Leaving the comfort of his unloving father's home, squatting on couches of friends, the anti-hero of Welfare smokes and drinks and avoids all responsibility until freedom appears