The Tommy Cooper Joke Book PDF Download
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Author: Tommy Cooper
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1848091982
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 178
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Book Description
You've heard of the lone ranger? I'm his brother hydrangea! The other night I dreamt I was eating a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow had gone! My wife just phoned me. She said, 'I've got water in the carburettor.' I said, 'Where's the car?' She said, 'In the river.' I said to the doctor, 'Doctor, I'm losing all sense of direction. What should I do?' He said, 'Get lost.' I've got a dog, you know. I have. He's a one-man dog. He only bites me. Tommy Cooper died on stage at Her Majesty's Theatre, London, twenty-five years ago in April 1984 and is still revered today as probably the greatest comedian of the second half of the 20th century. More than just a comedian, Tommy Cooper was a born entertainer. Working in a golden age of British comedy, Cooper stood - literally - head and shoulders above the crowd, and had a magical talent for humour that defied description. With a love of laughter stemming from a magic performance gone wrong when he was in his teens, Cooper enlisted in the army in 1939 and began to perfect his comic timing on his army colleagues in the Egyptian desert. The man with the fez was born.
Author: Tommy Cooper
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1848091982
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 178
Get Book Here
Book Description
You've heard of the lone ranger? I'm his brother hydrangea! The other night I dreamt I was eating a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow had gone! My wife just phoned me. She said, 'I've got water in the carburettor.' I said, 'Where's the car?' She said, 'In the river.' I said to the doctor, 'Doctor, I'm losing all sense of direction. What should I do?' He said, 'Get lost.' I've got a dog, you know. I have. He's a one-man dog. He only bites me. Tommy Cooper died on stage at Her Majesty's Theatre, London, twenty-five years ago in April 1984 and is still revered today as probably the greatest comedian of the second half of the 20th century. More than just a comedian, Tommy Cooper was a born entertainer. Working in a golden age of British comedy, Cooper stood - literally - head and shoulders above the crowd, and had a magical talent for humour that defied description. With a love of laughter stemming from a magic performance gone wrong when he was in his teens, Cooper enlisted in the army in 1939 and began to perfect his comic timing on his army colleagues in the Egyptian desert. The man with the fez was born.
Author: Tommy Cooper
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1409052494
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 405
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Book Description
My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?' I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.' I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences. I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.' I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.
Author: Tommy Cooper
Publisher: Preface Publishing
ISBN: 9781848093102
Category : Stand-up comedy
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Presents jokes on the subjects that range from 'A for Absent-minded' to 'Z for Zoo'.
Author: Les Dawson
Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books
ISBN: 1843179873
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 120
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Book Description
The first-ever joke book from one of the UK's best-loved comedians, Les Dawson's Joke Book is a must for any fan of this perennially popular comedian.
Author: Tim Vine
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1409039307
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 322
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Book Description
The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
Author: Tim Vine
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1448101182
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 208
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Book Description
Comedian and TV star, Tim Vine, will have you laughing for hours with this new, abridged version of his hilarious joke book . . . Velcro. What a rip off. Why do you never see an elephant on a bus? Because he's got a massive bum. So I went to the doctors. I said, 'I got hurt in a pillow fight.' He said, 'You've got concushion.' Believe it or not there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people I tried to surf the Internet and I fell off my chair Read it to find these funny puns, plus many more original jokes and illustrations. You won't be able to put it down!
Author: Joel Jeffrey
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781772761504
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 144
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Book Description
If you like a good joke (and we all know you do), then you'll get a kick out of this hilarious collection that pokes fun at all things Saskatchewan. With zingers that will tickle your funny bone, these good-natured jabs are just funny enough that they will leave you rolling in the aisles. The Great Saskatchewan Joke Book will literally make you laugh out loud. Joel Jeffrey believes that if you can't laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?
Author: Veronica Di Grigoli
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781514802250
Category : Man-woman relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 260
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Book Description
When career-girl Veronica flies to Sicily for a friend's wedding, she accidentally falls in love with one of the groom's three-hundred cousins. A year later she has given up her job, house and friends, and is planning her own wedding with her Latin Lover in the shimmering heat of Sicily.
Author: John Fisher
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1848093136
Category : Comedians
Languages : en
Pages : 500
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Book Description
The stand-up comedian is our hero. Unchanged fundamentally since the days of the Music Hall, he—and occasionally she—has been a waspish or laconic or outrageous commentator on politics, sex, work, friends, and the family. John Fisher traces the traditions of the music hall comedian as they are handed down through the great British comics of the twentieth century. Dan Leno, the Crazy Gang, Will Hay, and Max Miller are seen to pass the baton to the great radio comics like Arthur Askey, Tony Hancock, Frankie Howerd, and the Goons. In time, Morecambe and Wise, Tommy Cooper, Benny Hill, the Two Ronnies, and Ken Dodd are seen to hold the flame. The comedians understand us as no one else, and in this distinctively original and funny book John Fisher comes close to understanding them, what makes us laugh and the connecting themes in their humor and our responses. First published in 1973 when he was in his late 20's, John Fisher's Funny Way to be a Hero is regarded as the finest book ever written on 20th century comedians and comedy. Fisher in his career as a television producer went on to become a friend to many of the subjects written about in his book. Forty years later, he has revised and expanded the original from this perspective and added six new chapters. With spectacular new design and over 350 illustrations, many never published before, this will be a landmark publication.
Author: Gary Delaney
Publisher: Headline
ISBN: 9781472277459
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 224
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Book Description
'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .
