The Mammoth Book of Limericks

The Mammoth Book of Limericks PDF Author: Glyn Rees
Publisher: Running Press
ISBN: 9780762433957
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Get Book Here

Book Description
This is the best-ever collection of those catchy Irish rhymes – from squeaky-clean to the moderately filthy. With over 2,000 silly, political, modern, classic, and more to choose from, there is bound to be a limerick to get you giggling. This giant collection includes Irish classics called out in corner pubs for decades as well as many new verses specifically created to be read here. Creators include Spike Milligan, Mark Twain, Michael Palin, Lewis Carroll, Isaac Asimov, Robert Louis Stevenson, Rudyard Kipling, W.H. Auden, and many, many more.

The Mammoth Book of Filthy Limericks

The Mammoth Book of Filthy Limericks PDF Author: Glyn Rees
Publisher: Robinson Publishing
ISBN: 9781845296827
Category : Bawdy poetry, English
Languages : en
Pages : 512

Get Book Here

Book Description
The ultimate collection of X-rated and decidedly politically incorrect limericks! This bumper new volume contains over 2,000 dirty verses, from the moderately blue to the absolutely filthy - all illustrated throughout by Gray Jolliffe, creator of the bestselling Wicked Willie cartoon character. Here are verses so rude that even a blonde would blush, on subjects ranging from the bedroom to the bathroom and beyond. You'll find plenty of up-to-date limericks relevant to contemporary life as well as lewd old favourites on every imaginable topic, all of them guaranteed to make you laugh. Includes many newly devised limericks. On the breast of a barmaid named Gail Was written the price of the ale And on her behind, For the sake of the blind Was the same information in Braille.

A Sackful of Limericks

A Sackful of Limericks PDF Author: Michael Palin
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1473538432
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 98

Get Book Here

Book Description
If you've ever wondered what happened to the young fellow from Malta who bought his grandfather an altar... If you're concerned about the camper called Jack who found a huge snake in his pack... And if you suspect that an eccentric landowner called Grey spent Christmas a very strange way but aren't sure precisely what that entailed... Then a dip into Michael Palin's Sackful of Limericks will provide all the answers – and a lot of fun besides.

If You Were a Chocolate Mustache

If You Were a Chocolate Mustache PDF Author: J. Patrick Lewis
Publisher: Wordsong
ISBN: 159078927X
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 161

Get Book Here

Book Description
A collection of poems about animals, school, wacky inventions, foods, and computers.

The Little Book of Limerick

The Little Book of Limerick PDF Author: Sharon Slater
Publisher: The History Press
ISBN: 0752493655
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 158

Get Book Here

Book Description
Did You Know? At least 189,429 Limerick residents migrated from Ireland between 1851 and 1911. A Limerick man, George Geary Bennis, saved the life of King Louis Phillipe of France during a street fracas in 1848. For this he was awarded the title of 'Chevalier'. The last Limerick woman hanged was Annie Walsh, who was executed on 5 August 1925 after being found guilty of murdering her husband. In 1849 an Adare man called Hamilton attempted to assassinate Queen Victoria. The Little Book of Limerick is a compendium of fascinating information about the city and county, past and present. Here you will find out about Limerick's buildings and bridges, crime and punishment, tragic accidents, and its famous (and occasionally infamous) men and women. It covers not only the well-known aspects of Limerick's history but also focuses on the details of the everyday man in the street, recording facts that could so easily have been forgotten. A reliable reference book and a quirky guide, this can be dipped into time and again to reveal something new about the people, the heritage, the secrets and the enduring fascination of this ancient city and county. It is essential reading for visitors and locals alike.

The Mammoth Book of Humor

The Mammoth Book of Humor PDF Author: Geoff Tibballs
Publisher: Running Press
ISBN: 9780786707836
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 512

Get Book Here

Book Description
More than 10,000 stories and jokes, limericks and one-liners, put-downs and puns in the ultimate, most comprehensive compendium of humor ever compiled. From boners and groaners to classic shaggy-dog stories and jokes for roasts and toasts, virtually every form of verbal humor on a whole raft of topics is represented in this not totally politically correct but always devilishly diverting collection of ticklers and howlers for any occasion. Humorous quotations, epigrams and epitaphs, newspaper misprints, misleading headlines ("MAGISTRATES MAY ACT ON INDECENT SHOWS"), limericks, puns, and the darnedest things said by kids ("a fjord is a Scandinavian car") also appear among the volume's ten thousand entries, which are arranged by category and fully indexed by subject. This format makes the book an easily accessible as well as invaluable companion to speech-makers for events great and small. So it is that The Mammoth Book of Humor meets the needs of both the maiden aunt looking for a wholesome joke to relate at a golden wedding anniversary and the best man who needs a blue one for the bachelor party. The volume even offers would-be wolves on the prowl pick-up lines-at the same time that it provides some snappy comebacks and a few ribald ripostes for the reluctant or disinterested prey. Waggish, witty, wisecracking, or whimsical, the humor is as various as it is vigorous on every page of this endlessly entertaining collection.

Very Bad Poetry

Very Bad Poetry PDF Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Vintage
ISBN: 0679776222
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 145

Get Book Here

Book Description
Writing very bad poetry requires talent. It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence. The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism. Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).

Dearest Pet

Dearest Pet PDF Author: Midas Dekkers
Publisher: Verso
ISBN: 9781859843109
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 220

Get Book Here

Book Description
“People love animals—a stroke here, a pat there, a quick nuzzle in that gorgeous fur … the amount of cuddling they get can make you jealous. In Holland, dogs are caressed more than people. Not as thoroughly, though: that one spot, somewhere down below, generally remains untouched …” Generally, but certainly not always. Kinsey’s research showed that 8 per cent of men and 3.5 per cent of women had had sex with an animal, and that in rural areas the figure for men was closer to 50 per cent. Yet bestiality is almost universally condemned. While our love for animals is extolled as noble and “natural,” all erotic elements in the relationship between humans and other species are vilified and proscribed, thus consigning them to the realm of exotic pornography or crude innuendo. Even so, something remains of physical love for animals. In different forms, sublimated or occasionally celebrated, its traces can be found throughout art and popular culture: in Leda and the Swan, Beauty and the Beast or the Lorelei; in a lubricious menagerie of satyrs and centaurs, wolfmen and vampires, all the way through to King Kong and Fritz the Cat, pony clubs and amorous dolphins, or even advertisements for luxury catfoods. Dearest Pet uncovers and explores those traces, illuminating the ambivalence of human attitudes to cross-species sexuality. Its author, the biologist and broadcaster Midas Dekkers, has analysed bestiality in all its aspects—physical, psychological and legal—and examined its representations in religion and mythology, art and literature, pornography and advertising. Beautifully—and sometimes bizarrely—illustrated, his book is neither drily academic nor pruriently trivial, but erudite, witty and challenging: the first history of the last taboo. A book for animal lovers, and for those who are just their good friends.

A Little Book of Limericks

A Little Book of Limericks PDF Author: Hugh Morrison
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781511524124
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 46

Get Book Here

Book Description
There was a young lady named Perkins, Who had a great fondness for gherkins; At afternoon tea She ate twenty-three Which pickled her internal workins! This book contains over 200 funny, non-rude limerick poems old and new, suitable for children as well as adults. Laugh at the antics of the woman from Chippenham, Wilts, who walked up to Scotland on stilts, the old lady of Rye, who was baked by mistake in a pie, the young man called McLeod, who played the trombone far too loud - and many many more.

The Great British Limerick Book

The Great British Limerick Book PDF Author: Lewis Williams, Ass
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780993247200
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 320

Get Book Here

Book Description
Surely it can't be done. But it has been done. For the first time in the history of mankind someone has been dedicated enough and fool enough to write a filthy limerick for every town in the UK which unlike Leeds or Devizes doesn't already have a classic filthy limerick to call its own. From Land's End to John o' Groats, The Great British Limerick Book has a filthy limerick for your town, for your uncle's town, for your cousin's husband's ex-wife's town .... as long as it's in the UK and as long as it isn't one of those few places that are really impossible to find a rhyme for. There are over 900 limericks in the book. A lot of them are hilarious. Most of them are very funny. All of them are filthy. Guildford, Surrey. At McDonald's in Guildford in Surrey, I spilt coffee on my crotch in a scurry, I had to act quick, To cool down my dick, So I stuck it into my McFlurry. Nuneaton, Warwickshire. There was a young man from Nuneaton, Who really enjoyed being beaten, And squeezing his knackers, With a pair of nut crackers, And riding a bike with no seat on. Bath, Somerset. There was a professor from Bath, Who employed twenty-five research staff, To measure size and direction, Of his every erection, And to plot the results on a graph. The Isle of Skye, Scotland. When I was on the Isle of Skye, I overdid the old Spanish fly, I had a stiff member, From the fourth of December, Till Friday the tenth of July. Ashington, Northumberland. In Ashington there was a miner, Whose wife was a fashion designer, One night to his shock, She dressed him up as a cock, And herself as a six foot vagina. Hackney, Greater London. As a chemist I worked once in Hackney, And invented a treatment for acne, But one ingredi-ent, Was semen I'd spent, And they thought that good reason to sack me.