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Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 9780761137917
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 354
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Book Description
Look up Religion, and discover this from Paris Hilton: [The Kaballah] helps you confront your fears. Like, if a girl borrowed my clothes and never gave them back and I saw her wearing them months later, I would confront her. Or Anatomy, and find sportscaster Jerry Coleman: Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! ItÕs rolling all the way back to second base! Or Truth in GovernmentÑhereÕs Senator Alan Simpson: There are a lot of things that we do that are irrelevant, but thatÕs what the Senate is for. Arranged alphabetically, from Accident, Traffic to Zoology, Game Show ContestantsÕ Knowledge of (and you wouldnÕt believe how distorted that knowledge sometimes is), The Lexicon of Stupidity is an overstuffed dictionary of quotes, banalities, actual book titles, holdup notes, menu items, TV listings, and more, each meeting one exacting criterion: theyÕre so jaw-droppingly dumb you canÕt help but laugh. ItÕs the wit of the witless. The comedy of the clueless. The giggly fun of celebrities, athletes, politicians, newscasters, and other pompous types planting a foot (or two) firmly in mouth. And no authors could be more qualified to pull it together than Ross and Kathryn Petras, whose calendar celebrating stupidityÑThe 365 Stupidest Things Ever SaidÑis a perennial knock-out, with millions of copies sold since its debut in 1995. It even includes real courtroom testimony: Q. Are you sexually active? A. No, I just lie there.
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 9780761137917
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 354
Get Book Here
Book Description
Look up Religion, and discover this from Paris Hilton: [The Kaballah] helps you confront your fears. Like, if a girl borrowed my clothes and never gave them back and I saw her wearing them months later, I would confront her. Or Anatomy, and find sportscaster Jerry Coleman: Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! ItÕs rolling all the way back to second base! Or Truth in GovernmentÑhereÕs Senator Alan Simpson: There are a lot of things that we do that are irrelevant, but thatÕs what the Senate is for. Arranged alphabetically, from Accident, Traffic to Zoology, Game Show ContestantsÕ Knowledge of (and you wouldnÕt believe how distorted that knowledge sometimes is), The Lexicon of Stupidity is an overstuffed dictionary of quotes, banalities, actual book titles, holdup notes, menu items, TV listings, and more, each meeting one exacting criterion: theyÕre so jaw-droppingly dumb you canÕt help but laugh. ItÕs the wit of the witless. The comedy of the clueless. The giggly fun of celebrities, athletes, politicians, newscasters, and other pompous types planting a foot (or two) firmly in mouth. And no authors could be more qualified to pull it together than Ross and Kathryn Petras, whose calendar celebrating stupidityÑThe 365 Stupidest Things Ever SaidÑis a perennial knock-out, with millions of copies sold since its debut in 1995. It even includes real courtroom testimony: Q. Are you sexually active? A. No, I just lie there.
Author: Max Barry
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101604905
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 382
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Book Description
"About as close you can get to the perfect cerebral thriller: searingly smart, ridiculously funny, and fast as hell. Lexicon reads like Elmore Leonard high out of his mind on Snow Crash." —Lev Grossman, New York Times bestselling author of The Magicians and The Magician King “Best thing I've read in a long time . . . a masterpiece.” —Hugh Howey, New York Times bestselling author of Wool Stick and stones break bones. Words kill. They recruited Emily Ruff from the streets. They said it was because she's good with words. They'll live to regret it. They said Wil Parke survived something he shouldn't have. But he doesn't remember. Now they're after him and he doesn't know why. There's a word, they say. A word that kills. And they want it back . . .
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0307498506
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 306
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Book Description
Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, bestselling authors of the scathingly funny Unusually Stupid Americans and Unusually Stupid Celebrities, now set their bipartisan sights on the hallowed halls of the United States government. Unusually Stupid Politicians exposes the mind-boggling but true political mishaps, missteps, and miscues that have even the savviest spin doctors shaking their heads and saying “No comment.” Sections include • Extreme Hairsplitting–such as when Florida governor Jeb Bush, after being accused of hiding in a closet from rampaging Democrats, denied the allegation completely, stating that “it was actually a boiler room” • Brilliant and Innovative Ideas from The Pentagon– like their groundbreaking "Gay Bomb," their "Bad Breath Inducing" halitosis weapon and their plans to enlist The Three Stooges in the fight against terror. • Creative Political Excuses——such as “I just discovered I’m Jewish and it’s a Holy Day,”——used by Senator George Allen, who, after learning of his Jewish heritage, got out of a Senate hearing to “observe” Yom Kippur • The Most Egregiously Large Political Egos–measured in standard Chuck Schumer Ego Units (CSEUs) This hilarious and eye-opening exposé gives awards for “How I Blew My Campaign” and “Worst Campaign Ad,” and shares a list of candidates “endorsed by God,” as well as a list of those who lost because of Satan. So turn off C-SPAN and quit text-messaging congressional pages–you’re about to learn what the definition of “is” is.
Author: Adam Zucker
Publisher: Oxford University Press
ISBN: 0198906781
Category : Literary Criticism
Languages : en
Pages : 225
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Book Description
Shakespeare Unlearned dances along the borderline of sense and nonsense in early modern texts, revealing overlooked opportunities for understanding and shared community in words and ideas that might in the past have been considered too silly to matter much for serious scholarship. Each chapter pursues a self-knowing, gently ironic study of the lexicon and scripting of words and acts related to what has been called 'stupidity' in work by Shakespeare and other authors. Each centers significant, often comic situations that emerge -- on stage, in print, and in the critical and editorial tradition pertaining to the period -- when rigorous scholars and teachers meet language, characters, or plotlines that exceed, and at times entirely undermine, the goals and premises of scholarly rigor. Each suggests that a framing of putative 'stupidity' pursued through lexicography, editorial glossing, literary criticism, and pedagogical practice can help us put Shakespeare and semantically obscure historical literature more generally to new communal ends. Words such as 'baffle' in Twelfth Night or 'twangling' and 'jingling' in The Tempest, and characters such as Sir Andrew Aguecheek and Holofernes the pedant, might in the past have been considered unworthy of critical attention -- too light or obvious to matter much for our understanding of Shakespeare and his contemporaries. Adam Zucker's meditation on the limits of learnedness and the opportunities presented by a philology of stupidity argues otherwise.
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0307498492
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 274
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Book Description
The Greeks honored Zeus, the Romans revered Juno, but modern civilization worships a different sort of god: Celebrity. Face it, we follow the stars’ every move, fashion choice, and deliciously dishy affairs. Now Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, authors of Unusually Stupid Americans, pull the demanding divas, screwball stars, and celebu-twits off their pedestals–and prove it doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to become famous. Cases in point: • Courtney Love misses an important court date relating to “possession of a controlled substance” because she can’t find a professional bodyguard at the last minute. • Mariah Carey’s entourage includes a skirt-from-touching-floor specialist, a towel hand-off person, and a professional drink holder/lifter. • Savvy traveler Paris Hilton concludes that all of Europe is, “like, French.” • Mensa candidate and rocker Tommy Lee is pretty sure that Winston Churchill was president during the Civil War, that the numeric equivalent of pi is “the two-equals-MC-squared thing,” and that an isosceles triangle is “somewhere in Bermuda.” Feuds, faith, family, money, sex, tantrums, travel–no star-studded stone is left unturned. Filled with jaw-dropping anecdotes, quirky quotes, and special stupid-celebrity awards, Unusually Stupid Celebrities provides a red-faced glimpse of the red carpet.
Author: Ira Winkler
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 1119621984
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 368
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Book Description
Stopping Losses from Accidental and Malicious Actions Around the world, users cost organizations billions of dollars due to simple errors and malicious actions. They believe that there is some deficiency in the users. In response, organizations believe that they have to improve their awareness efforts and making more secure users. This is like saying that coalmines should get healthier canaries. The reality is that it takes a multilayered approach that acknowledges that users will inevitably make mistakes or have malicious intent, and the failure is in not planning for that. It takes a holistic approach to assessing risk combined with technical defenses and countermeasures layered with a security culture and continuous improvement. Only with this kind of defense in depth can organizations hope to prevent the worst of the cybersecurity breaches and other user-initiated losses. Using lessons from tested and proven disciplines like military kill-chain analysis, counterterrorism analysis, industrial safety programs, and more, Ira Winkler and Dr. Tracy Celaya's You CAN Stop Stupid provides a methodology to analyze potential losses and determine appropriate countermeasures to implement. Minimize business losses associated with user failings Proactively plan to prevent and mitigate data breaches Optimize your security spending Cost justify your security and loss reduction efforts Improve your organization’s culture Business technology and security professionals will benefit from the information provided by these two well-known and influential cybersecurity speakers and experts.
Author: Greg Proops
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476747067
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 309
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Book Description
From the bold, beloved comic and podcast star Greg Proops comes a “terrifically random appreciation of cultural touchstones” (Publishers Weekly) that is electrifying, thought-provoking, and unrelenting, full of rapid-fire references, historical name-checking, Satchel Paige bon mots, and genuine wisdom. Greg Proops is an internationally renowned comedian, best known for starring on the hit improv-comedy show Whose Line Is It Anyway? and for his popular award-winning podcast, “The Smartest Man in the World,” which Rolling Stone called “some of the boldest comedy on the podcasting frontier right now.” But Proops is also a fountain of historical knowledge, a wealth of pop culture trivia, and a generally charming know-it-all. The Smartest Book in the World is a rollicking reference guide to the most essential areas of knowledge in Proops’s universe, from history’s juiciest tales and curious backstories to the movies you must see and the albums you must hear. Full of eclectic and humorous knowledge, it is a concentrated collection and comic cultural dictionary of the essential Proops topics including poetry, proper punctuation, and Satchel Paige, all delivered with his signature style, making the full Proops experience complete. So if you’re stuck wondering why Alexander was so Great (well, he did conquer the world), which cinema bombshell would be the best shortstop (Hedy Lamarr, of course), what great work of art would be the best to steal (not that you would), or the finest way to prepare vodka-flavored vodka (add vodka), don’t fret, pumpkin butter—The Smartest Book in the World has what you need right now.
Author: Peter Brooks
Publisher: Harvard University Press
ISBN: 9780674748927
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 388
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Book Description
A book which should appeal to both literary theorists and to readers of the novel, this study invites the reader to consider how the plot reflects the patterns of human destiny and seeks to impose a new meaning on life.
Author: Giancarlo Livraghi
Publisher: Monti & Ambrosini SRL
ISBN: 8889479183
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 238
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Book Description
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 1523501979
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 289
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Book Description
The thrill of victory, the agony of a tight jockstrap. It’s the reason we love sports—you never know what’s going to happen. Sometimes everything clicks, with the best athlete in the world competing at their peak, and the result is a thing of breathtaking beauty. But sometimes the opposite happens, resulting in moments of breathtaking hilarity, or astonishing inanity, or just plain head-scratching puzzlement. Welcome to The Stupidest Sports Book of All Time. Featuring: The most boring games in sports history Wise(ish) words on winning Stupid mascot antics The strangest things coaches have done to motivate teams And much, much more!
