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Author: Matthew David Brozik
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740789120
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 196
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Book Description
The comedic duo behind The Government Manual for New Superheroes is back, and this time they've brought their magic wands and enchanted artifacts. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures. Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutrements--it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority. This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as: * A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it--provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all. * When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.
Author: Matthew David Brozik
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740789120
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 196
Get Book Here
Book Description
The comedic duo behind The Government Manual for New Superheroes is back, and this time they've brought their magic wands and enchanted artifacts. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures. Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutrements--it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority. This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as: * A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it--provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all. * When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.
Author: Matthew David Brozik
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740789236
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 144
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Book Description
There be no callin' 'dibs' in piratin'. Booty be divided among the crew, from the lowest deckswabber to the highest masthand. So says the Pirate Code." --Calico Jack Rackham, king of the pirates * Enjoy a witty mock-official handbook for potential pirates and plunderers. Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those uber-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.
Author: Matthew David Brozik
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740789090
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 161
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Book Description
The government provides manuals for new home-owners and new motor vehicle operators, but what's a new superhero to do? Ka-POW! The Government Manual for New Superheroes rushes in to save the day! The Government Manual for New Superheroes is a hilarious, mock-official handbook that offers thorough, accessible, and completely zany advice for anyone who has always dreamed of donning a skintight spandex uniform and leaping across the rooftops of their cities. Going well beyond tights and capes, this manual provides insight into choosing a name, constructing a costume, choosing the right supertools of the supertrade, establishing a base of operations, maintaining a secret identity, taking or becoming a sidekick, joining a superheroic team, and even finding that special someone who gives meaning to a superhero's life--a nemesis. Extra features include a roster of superhero unions, a registration application, several useful charts and tips, and even a list of other government-sponsored periodicals for further reading. Destined to become a cult classic, The Government Manual for New Superheroes is an essential guide for every aspiring superhero.
Author: Erin Anne Pyne
Publisher: What The Flux Comics Publis
ISBN: 1450745601
Category : Fans (Persons)
Languages : en
Pages : 329
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Book Description
Author: Jacob Sager Weinstein
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449409911
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 137
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Book Description
This tongue-in-cheek parenting book is a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual parents have ever cringed over.
Author: T. Kingfisher
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781614505242
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :
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Book Description
Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance.But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries¿
Author: Marty Noble
Publisher: Courier Corporation
ISBN: 0486456668
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 36
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Book Description
This enchanting collection will cast a spell over colorists of all ages! Thirty mystical scenes crackle with awe and wonder -- and, of course, flowing robes, pointed hats, and crystal balls.
Author: Susan J. Slaughter
Publisher: SAS Institute
ISBN: 1629608882
Category : Computers
Languages : en
Pages : 330
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Book Description
Learning to use SAS Enterprise Guide has never been easier! Whether you are using SAS Enterprise Guide for the first time, or are looking to expand your skills, this is the book for you! With The Little SAS Enterprise Guide Book, award-winning authors Susan Slaughter and Lora Delwiche help you quickly become productive in the SAS Enterprise Guide point-and-click environment. A series of carefully designed tutorials help you master the basics of the tasks you'll want to do most frequently. The reference section of the book expands on the tutorial topics, covering specific features in more depth. This edition has been completely rewritten, and updated with new features in SAS Enterprise Guide.
Author:
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 112
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Book Description
For more than 40 years, Computerworld has been the leading source of technology news and information for IT influencers worldwide. Computerworld's award-winning Web site (Computerworld.com), twice-monthly publication, focused conference series and custom research form the hub of the world's largest global IT media network.
Author: M. M. Kaye
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 110114257X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 93
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Book Description
Along with Wit, Charm, Health, and Courage, Princess Amy of Phantasmorania receives a special fairy christening gift: Ordinariness. Unlike her six beautiful sisters, she has brown hair and freckles, and would rather have adventures than play the harp, embroider tapestries . . . or become a Queen. When her royal parents try to marry her off, Amy runs away and, because she's so ordinary, easily becomes the fourteenth assistant kitchen maid at a neighboring palace. And there . . . much to everyone's surprise . . . she meets a prince just as ordinary (and special) as she is! "This delightful fairy tale is sure to please young romantics . . . Neither Kaye's princess nor her book should be considered ordinary." (School Library Journal)
