The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods

The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods PDF Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1430300302
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 239

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Book Description
This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."

The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods

The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods PDF Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1430300302
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 239

Get Book Here

Book Description
This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."

The Funniest People in Books and Music

The Funniest People in Books and Music PDF Author: David Bruce
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 0595378986
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 135

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Book Description
"The Funniest People Who Write Books and Make Music" contains such anecdotes as these: When Peg Bracken started writing, she would often type the first page of a famous short story for inspiration. Often, she discovered that the page did not look as impressive typed on a sheet of paper as it did printed on a page in a book, so sometimes she would imitate her English professor and write on the sheet of paper: 'You can do better than this, Mr. Faulkner." Andri Previn played jazz with a couple of American-African musicians. Afterwards, he went into a diner, where two white men asked him, 'Why the hell don't you play with your own kind?" Mr. Previn replied, 'To tell you the truth, I wanted to, but I couldn't find two other Jews who swing." Soccer and Cup Final day are important in England. Once, the noted conductor Sir Thomas Beecham held a rehearsal on Cup Final day. The rehearsal had been going on for only a short time when a giant television was delivered to the rehearsal area. Sir Thomas then said, 'Now, gentlemen, let's get down to the most important business of the day-watching the match."

Jason and the Argonauts: A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes’ Argonautica

Jason and the Argonauts: A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes’ Argonautica PDF Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312139714
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 172

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Book Description
Jason and the Argonauts tells the story of their quest to find the Golden Fleece. They sail from Greece into the Black Sea. With the help of the sorceress Medea, they succeed in getting the Golden Fleece but then have to sail back home. This myth is one of the most important myths of ancient Greece.

William Shakespeare’s "1 Henry VI," aka "Henry VI, Part 1": A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare’s Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1365470180
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 164

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Book Description
This is an easy-to-read retelling of William Shakespeare's "1 Henry VI." People who read this version first will find the original much easier to read.

From the "Iliad" to the "Odyssey": A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrna’s "Posthomerica"

From the Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 131213979X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 202

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Book Description
Homer created the epic poems ""Iliad"" and ""Odyssey."" The "Iliad" tells only a small part of the story of the Trojan War. For example, the "Iliad" does not tell the story of the Trojan Horse although Homer knew about the Trojan Horse and assumed that his audience knew its story. Other, shorter epic poems that made up the Epic Cycle told the rest of the story of the Trojan War. The ""Iliad"" and the ""Odyssey"" have survived to the present time, but the other epic poems of the Epic Cycle have been lost since ancient times. Fortunately, Quintus of Smyrna wrote an epic poem that retold the tales recounted in the lost epic poems of the Epic Cycle. He told the story of the Trojan War from the end of the ""Iliad ""to when Odysseus sets sail for home in the "Odyssey" after Troy has fallen. In this retelling, as in all my retellings, I have tried to make the work of literature accessible to modern readers.

The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 1

The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 1 PDF Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1430314303
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 182

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Book Description
The doing of good deeds is important. As a free person, you can choose to live your life as a good person or as a bad person. To be a good person, do good deeds. To be a bad person, do bad deeds. If you do good deeds, you will become good. If you do bad deeds, you will become bad. To become the person you want to be, act as if you already are that kind of person. Each of us chooses what kind of person we will become. To become a hero, do the things a hero does. To become a coward, do the things a coward does. The opportunity to take action to become the kind of person you want to be is yours. ; ;This book collects 250 stories of good deeds from the arts, from religion, and from life.

The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 3

The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 3 PDF Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 0557050375
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 150

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Book Description


The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 2

The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 2 PDF Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1435701119
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 170

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Book Description
This book collects 250 stories about good deeds, including this one: When the great 19th-century actor Sir Henry Irving discovered an old woman who needed money to survive but who couldn't work, he would hire her to take care of the cats in his theater. Later, he was going to hire an old woman to take care of the cats, but then he discovered that he had already hired three old women to take care of the cats. Therefore, he hired this old woman to take care of the three old women who took care of the cats.

John Ford's "'Tis Pity She's a Whore": A Retelling

John Ford's Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1387445138
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 160

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Book Description
This is an easy-to-read retelling of John Ford's tragedy "'Tis Pity She's a Whore." In this tragedy, a brother and sister fall in love and commit incest.

The Famous Victories of Henry V: A Retelling

The Famous Victories of Henry V: A Retelling PDF Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1387509292
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 110

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Book Description
This is an easy-to-retelling of "The Famous Victories of Henry V," which is an important source for William Shakespeare's "Henry IV" and "Henry V" plays.