That's Terrible! a Cringeworthy Collection of 1001 Really Bad Jokes PDF Download
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Author: Gary Rowley
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781479241644
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 114
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Book Description
A relentless barrage of zany, off-the-wall humour, 1001 jokes, puns and one-liners, plumbed exclusively from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination. You won't have encountered anything like this addictive little beauty before; not a swear word in sight, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandmas, whilst still supplying sufficient ammunition to torment your mates into submission. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face, and no wonder with jokes like these: Mobile phones have been around longer than people think. I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger. I was considering investing in a Chinese distillery but decided against it. Whiskey business. I went to the waxworks but legged it when I saw this woman coming towards me, swinging a pair of giant blades. I discovered later it was Madame Two Swords. Michael Phelps and the Thorpedo: they think they're God's gift to swimming. As an ex-paratrooper, I definitely thought my bill for dental work was a bridge too far. I had a real bad accident at the saw mill. My other half says we should sue for compensation. I've just lost my job at the snuff factory. I was sacked for pinching. I walked into Leeds station and asked the route to Bristol. I said, is it Leeds to Sheffield, then Derby, Birmingham, Cheltenham Spa and Gloucester? He said, it's somewhere along those lines. Someone said there was a decent turn on at the working men's club. When I got there, it was an Arctic sea bird with a big, yellow beak. I found my hotel bathroom stuffed with chickens. It was hen-suite. Boy racers. They're the torque of the town. Every time it's nice outside, there's this American pop duo that stand on a street corner, giving money away. It's Sunny and Share.
Author: Gary Rowley
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781479241644
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 114
Get Book Here
Book Description
A relentless barrage of zany, off-the-wall humour, 1001 jokes, puns and one-liners, plumbed exclusively from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination. You won't have encountered anything like this addictive little beauty before; not a swear word in sight, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandmas, whilst still supplying sufficient ammunition to torment your mates into submission. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face, and no wonder with jokes like these: Mobile phones have been around longer than people think. I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger. I was considering investing in a Chinese distillery but decided against it. Whiskey business. I went to the waxworks but legged it when I saw this woman coming towards me, swinging a pair of giant blades. I discovered later it was Madame Two Swords. Michael Phelps and the Thorpedo: they think they're God's gift to swimming. As an ex-paratrooper, I definitely thought my bill for dental work was a bridge too far. I had a real bad accident at the saw mill. My other half says we should sue for compensation. I've just lost my job at the snuff factory. I was sacked for pinching. I walked into Leeds station and asked the route to Bristol. I said, is it Leeds to Sheffield, then Derby, Birmingham, Cheltenham Spa and Gloucester? He said, it's somewhere along those lines. Someone said there was a decent turn on at the working men's club. When I got there, it was an Arctic sea bird with a big, yellow beak. I found my hotel bathroom stuffed with chickens. It was hen-suite. Boy racers. They're the torque of the town. Every time it's nice outside, there's this American pop duo that stand on a street corner, giving money away. It's Sunny and Share.
Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1612435904
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 118
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Book Description
A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”
Author: Editors of Cider Mill Press
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1646431359
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 286
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Book Description
The complete collection of the World's Greatest Dad Jokes is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling. With hundreds of jokes that will make you groan--then make you smile. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. Now the dad joke aficionado in your life will never run out of puns, no matter how much you might want them to. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse.
Author: Spiffy McChappy
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781099879968
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 105
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Book Description
The perfect gift for any Dad who loves telling jokes and making everyone laugh! (cough cough) A fantastic novelty gift for Fathers day, Birthdays & Christmas. Clean family friendly jokes. The first page has space for you to write a special message, an ideal alternative to a card. Please note this book is not a joke book about Dads. It is a joke book full of Dad jokes. A Dad joke can best be described as an embarrassingly bad joke. Often demonstrated during special occasions & makes the family wince. This book will be a jolly old laugh for your old chap, but not so much for you. Please also note: No refunds will be given due to any embarrassment this book will cause you or if your eyes get sore from constant eye rolls.
Author: Milton Berle
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0517587165
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 674
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Book Description
One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes ("The most comprehensive storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world"--Los Angeles Magazine) to present the most astounding array of one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags ever published. Line drawings.
Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Portico
ISBN: 1909396095
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 178
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Book Description
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!
Author: Martin Gurri
Publisher: Stripe Press
ISBN: 1953953344
Category : Political Science
Languages : en
Pages : 465
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Book Description
How insurgencies—enabled by digital devices and a vast information sphere—have mobilized millions of ordinary people around the world. In the words of economist and scholar Arnold Kling, Martin Gurri saw it coming. Technology has categorically reversed the information balance of power between the public and the elites who manage the great hierarchical institutions of the industrial age: government, political parties, the media. The Revolt of the Public tells the story of how insurgencies, enabled by digital devices and a vast information sphere, have mobilized millions of ordinary people around the world. Originally published in 2014, The Revolt of the Public is now available in an updated edition, which includes an extensive analysis of Donald Trump’s improbable rise to the presidency and the electoral triumphs of Brexit. The book concludes with a speculative look forward, pondering whether the current elite class can bring about a reformation of the democratic process and whether new organizing principles, adapted to a digital world, can arise out of the present political turbulence.
Author: Hugh Murmie
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 108
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Book Description
New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!
Author: Charna Halpern
Publisher: Meriwether Publishing
ISBN: 9781566080033
Category : Improvisation (Acting)
Languages : en
Pages : 164
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Book Description
The 'Harold', an innovative improvisational tool, helped many actors on the road to TV and film stardom, including George Wendt (Norm on Cheers). Now it is described fully in this new book for would-be actors and comics. The 'Harold' is a form of competitive improv involving 6 or 7 players. They take a theme suggestion from the audience and 'free associate' on the theme into a series of rapid-fire one-liners that build into totally unpredictable skits with hilarious results. The 'Harold' is a fun way to 'loosen up' and learn to think quickly, build continuity, develop characterisations and sharpen humour.
Author: DeVon Franklin
Publisher: Atria Books
ISBN: 1982101288
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 288
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Book Description
The New York Times bestselling author of The Wait and “spiritual teacher for our times” (Oprah Winfrey) frankly and openly explores why men behave the way they do and what everyone—men and women alike—need to know about it. We hear it all the time. Men cheat. Men love power. Men love sex. Men are greedy. Men are dogs. But is this really the truth about men? In this groundbreaking book, DeVon Franklin dishes the real truth by making the compelling case that men aren’t dogs but all men share the same struggle. He provides the manual for how men can change, both on a personal and a societal level by providing practical solutions for helping men learn how to resist temptation, how to practice self-control, and how to love. But The Truth About Men isn’t just for men. DeVon tells female readers everything they need to know about men. He offers women a real-time understanding of how men’s struggles affect them, insights that can help them navigate their relationships with men and information on how to heal from the damage that some misbehaving men may have inflicted. This book is a raw, informative, and accessible look at an issue that threatens to tear our society apart yet it offers a positive way forward for men and women alike.
