I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

I'd Like to Play Alone, Please PDF Author: Tom Segura
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1538704625
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 205

Get Book Here

Book Description
A #2 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more. Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

I'd Like to Play Alone, Please PDF Author: Tom Segura
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1538704625
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 205

Get Book Here

Book Description
A #2 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more. Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

Summary of Tom Segura's Id Like to Play Alone Please

Summary of Tom Segura's Id Like to Play Alone Please PDF Author: Milkyway Media
Publisher: Milkyway Media
ISBN:
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 19

Get Book Here

Book Description
Get the Summary of Tom Segura's Id Like to Play Alone Please in 20 minutes. Please note: This is a summary & not the original book. Tom Segura's book "I'd Like to Play Alone, Please" offers a candid look into his life, family, and career as a comedian. His father, a retired Marine Corps Captain, is known for his abrupt social exits and explicit discussions about his digestive health, while his mother, a Peruvian immigrant, is polite yet direct. Tom's childhood dreams of a medical career were dashed after witnessing surgeries, and his passion for hip-hop and sports shaped his identity. His experiences in Peru, where he spent summers, helped him embrace his Peruvian heritage and taught him the value of using personal strengths to overcome challenges. Segura's encounters with celebrities like Bruce Bruce and Big Daddy Kane highlight his journey in the comedy world, where he faced the realities of cultural appropriation and the challenges of building a fan base. Despite setbacks, Segura's persistence led to success with his Netflix special and his popular podcast, "Your Mom's House." The book also delves into his personal life, including his relationship with his wife and the unique personalities of his two sons. Segura's reflections on language, parental love, and the unpredictability of life offer a humorous yet poignant perspective on the complexities of navigating fame, family, and personal growth.

You're Doing Great!

You're Doing Great! PDF Author: Tom Papa
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1250240409
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 327

Get Book Here

Book Description
Comedian and Live from Here head writer Tom Papa, author of Your Dad Stole My Rake, tackles the modern condition in a heartwarming group of short essays. Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we’re not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you’re doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed. If you actually take a breath and look around you’ll realize you’re actually doing great. Here’s the thing: We live in an amazing time filled with airplanes, scooters, and peanut butter cups. We have air conditioning, blenders, and martini shakers. It's time to refocus, enjoy it all, and stop waiting for something better! Relax with comedian and Live from Here writer and performer Tom Papa as he explores his favorite subjects in 75 essays, including: You Don't Have to Live Your Best Life Don't Open the Mail I'm So Baked I Love Your Love Handles Don't Go Tubing Shut Up and Eat Recalibrate, turn off your device, and open your eyes to a better reality: You’re doing great!

Almost Interesting

Almost Interesting PDF Author: David Spade
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062376985
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 228

Get Book Here

Book Description
David Spade is best known for his harsh “Hollywood” Minute Sketches on SNL, his starring roles in movies like Joe Dirt and Tommy Boy, and his seven-year stint as Dennis Finch on the series Just Shoot Me. Now, with a wit as dry as the weather in his home state of Arizona, the “comic brat extraordinaire” tells his story in Almost Interesting. First Taking fans back to his childhood as a wannabe cool younger brother and recounting his excruciating road-tour to fame—when he was regularly mistaken for a ten year-old, Spade then dishes about his time crisscrossing the country as a comedian, for low-paying gigs and dragging along his mother’s old suitcase full of props. He also covers his years on SNL during the beloved Rock/Sandler/Farley era of the 1990s, including his close working relationship and friendship with Chris Farley and brags about the ridiculous perks that fame has brought into his life, including the constant fear of being fired, a crazy ex-assistant who attacked him while he was sleeping, a run-in with Eddie Murphy on the mean streets of Beverly Hills, and of course an endless supply of hot chicks. Sometimes dirty, always funny, and as sharp as a tack, Almost Interesting reminds you why David Spade is one of our generation’s favorite funny guys.

The Fifth Vital

The Fifth Vital PDF Author: Mike Majlak
Publisher: Mike Majlak
ISBN:
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 310

Get Book Here

Book Description
USA TODAY BESTSELLING BOOK! Mike Majlak was a seventeen-year-old from a loving, middle-class family in Milford, Connecticut, when he got caught up in the opioid epidemic that swept the nation. For close to a decade thereafter, his life was a wasteland of darkness and despair. While his peers were graduating from college, buying homes, getting married, having kids, and leading normal lives, Mike was snorting OxyContin, climbing out of cars at gunpoint, and burying his childhood friends. Unable to escape the noose of addiction, he eventually lost the trust and support of everyone who had ever loved him. Alone, with nothing but drugs to keep him company, darkness closed in, and the light inside him--the last flicker of hope--began to dim. His dreams, potential, and future were all being devoured by a relentless addiction too powerful to fight. Despair filled him as he realized he wasn't going to survive. Somehow, he did... HE NOT ONLY SURVIVED, HE THRIVED. Now he's a social media personality with millions of followers, and an entrepreneur, marketer, podcaster, YouTuber, and author who hopes to use his voice to shine a light for those whose own lights have grown dim. This is his story.

Dad Is Fat

Dad Is Fat PDF Author: Jim Gaffigan
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 0385349068
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 290

Get Book Here

Book Description
Jim Gaffigan never imagined he would have his own kids. Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies." Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so he's now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat. From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists"). Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.

Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die

Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die PDF Author: Daniel Sloss
Publisher: Knopf
ISBN: 0525658149
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 273

Get Book Here

Book Description
One of this generation's hottest and boldest young comedians presents a transgressive and hilarious analysis of all of our dysfunctional relationships, and attempts to point us in the vague direction of sanity. Daniel Sloss's stand-up comedy engages, enrages, offends, unsettles, educates, comforts, and gets audiences roaring with laughter—all at the same time. In his groundbreaking specials, seen on Netflix and HBO, he has brilliantly tackled everything from male toxicity and friendship to love, romance, and marriage—and claims (with the data to back it up) that his on-stage laser-like dissection of relationships has single-handedly caused more than 300 divorces and 120,000 breakups. Now, in his first book, he picks up where his specials left off, and goes after every conceivable kind of relationship—with one's country (Sloss's is Scotland); with America; with lovers, ex-lovers, ex-lovers who you hate, ex-lovers who hate you; with parents; with best friends (male and female), not-best friends; with children; with siblings; and even with the global pandemic and our own mortality. In Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die, every human connection gets the brutally funny (and unfailingly incisive) Sloss treatment as he illuminates the ways in which all of our relationships are fragile and ridiculous and awful—but also valuable and meaningful and important.

A Modern Man

A Modern Man PDF Author: George Carlin
Publisher: Hachette Books
ISBN: 0306827107
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 336

Get Book Here

Book Description
Experience comedy legend George Carlin as you’ve never seen him in this collection highlighting his greatest hits and achievements, with a foreword by Lewis Black It is impossible to talk about 20th century comedy without discussing George Carlin. Named the 2nd greatest standup of the 20th century by both Comedy Central and Rolling Stone, Carlin garnered multiple gold records, 4 Grammys, 6 Emmy nominations, and the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. He was the first host of SNL, appeared on the Tonight Show some 130 times, and acted in beloved films like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Dogma. Dubbed “the dean of counterculture comedians,” George Carlin was an American icon. A perfect introduction for new fans and a worthy addition to the collections of old fans, The Best of Carlin showcases the longevity, range, and—above all—hilarity of the master. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other delicious verbal ordeals, it is drop-dead funny tour through Carlin’s mind. More than ten years after his death, Carlin’s characteristically ironic takes on life's annoying universal truths remain thoughtful, fearless, and somehow more relevant than ever.

My Kind of Crazy

My Kind of Crazy PDF Author: Robin Reul
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1492631779
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 295

Get Book Here

Book Description
Everybody needs someone who gets their crazy Hank Kirby can't catch a break. He doesn't mean to screw up. It just happens. Case in point: his attempt to ask out the girl he likes literally goes up in flames when he spelled "prom" in sparklers on Amanda Carlisle's lawn...and nearly burns down her house, without ever asking her the big question. Hank just wants to pretend the incident never happened. And he might've gotten away with it—except there is a witness. Peyton Breedlove, brooding loner and budding pyromaniac, saw the whole thing, and she blackmails Hank into an unusual friendship. Sure, Hank may be headed for his biggest disaster yet, but it's only when life falls apart that you can start piecing it back together. "Funny, authentic, and, at turns, heartbreaking."—Jessi Kirby, author of Things We Know by Heart and Moonglass "I had so much fun reading this book."—Adi Alsaid, author of Never Always Sometimes and Let's Get Lost

Cheat

Cheat PDF Author: Bill Burr
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451645694
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 232

Get Book Here

Book Description
MONOGAMY HAS MET ITS MATCH When it comes to scoring on the side, this book is your best friend. Comedians Bill Burr, Joe DeRosa, and Robert Kelly have experienced the rich pleasures and unspeakable risks of romantic infidelity, and survived to tell their tales. Now, they impart all the wisdom, advice, and humor they picked up along the way, including how to: * Wipe away your shame and guilt—and get smart before you get hard * Conduct your filth with the right chick, in the right place, at the right time * Take an hour to shower and scour—and fight your worst enemy: glitter * Explain a strange scrunchy, hair extension, or pair of earrings to your girl * Navigate strip clubs, massage parlors, and women of the night Lie like a woman—and call it quits without getting caught Featuring ten true stories from men who’ve lived the life and a link to watch Burr, DeRosa, and Kelly’s hilarious short film of the same name, Cheat is a wickedly smart field guide to philandering that will revolutionize your game.