Santa Steps Out

Santa Steps Out PDF Author: Robert Devereaux
Publisher: Deadite Press
ISBN: 9781621050131
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Sex, Death, and Santa Claus ... His generosity is legendary. He has a devoted wife, a crack team of sky-borne reindeer, hordes of industrious elves, and the love of good little boys and girls around the globe. But what unholy desires now propel him into the lascivious clutches of a certain fairy? And who was he before the sleigh and workshop, in times forgotten? ... She munches on molars, summons drowned sailors to her pleasure, and recalls, sharp as a pinprick, her life as the most savage of ash nymphs. Why then is she stuck, night after night, hovering above pillows to leave coins for gap-toothed brats? More important, how quickly can she captivate the jolly old elf to the north? ... He's huge, fluffy, lonesome, and unbearably horny. On his Easter rounds, he contrives, as often as possible, to get a grip on himself and peer into interesting bedrooms. But who in the world will throw him down and ravage him as the lovers under his gaze ravage one another? ... Deadite Press is proud to bring back the ultimate erotic Christmas story from Robert Devereaux

Santa Steps Out

Santa Steps Out PDF Author: Robert Devereaux
Publisher: Deadite Press
ISBN: 9781621050131
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Sex, Death, and Santa Claus ... His generosity is legendary. He has a devoted wife, a crack team of sky-borne reindeer, hordes of industrious elves, and the love of good little boys and girls around the globe. But what unholy desires now propel him into the lascivious clutches of a certain fairy? And who was he before the sleigh and workshop, in times forgotten? ... She munches on molars, summons drowned sailors to her pleasure, and recalls, sharp as a pinprick, her life as the most savage of ash nymphs. Why then is she stuck, night after night, hovering above pillows to leave coins for gap-toothed brats? More important, how quickly can she captivate the jolly old elf to the north? ... He's huge, fluffy, lonesome, and unbearably horny. On his Easter rounds, he contrives, as often as possible, to get a grip on himself and peer into interesting bedrooms. But who in the world will throw him down and ravage him as the lovers under his gaze ravage one another? ... Deadite Press is proud to bring back the ultimate erotic Christmas story from Robert Devereaux

Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes

Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes PDF Author: Robert Devereaux
Publisher: Booklocker.Com Incorporated
ISBN: 9781601455383
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 361

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Book Description
Santa Claus and his stepdaughter Wendy strive to remake the world in compassion and generosity, preventing one child's fated suicide by winning over his worst tormentors, then attempting, with the Easter Bunny's help, to eradicate homophobia worldwide in one magical night.

Santa Claus Doesn't Mop Floors (Adventures of the Bailey School Kids #3)

Santa Claus Doesn't Mop Floors (Adventures of the Bailey School Kids #3) PDF Author: Debbie Dadey
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 1338829157
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 61

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Book Description
The hugely popular early chapter book series re-emerges -- now in e-book! The kids in the third grade at Bailey Elementary are so hard to handle that all of their teachers have quit. But their new teacher, Mrs. Jeepers, is different to say the least. She's just moved from the Transylvanian Alps and she seems to have some strange powers that help her deal with these mischief-makers. Her methods may be a little unconventional, but, then again, Mrs. Jeepers may be just what the Bailey School kids need.

Are You Grumpy, Santa?

Are You Grumpy, Santa? PDF Author: Gregg Spiridellis
Publisher: Hyperion Books for Children
ISBN: 9781423114994
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Sometimes even the merriest, most cheerful guy on the planet wakes up on the wrong side of the bed… First, after a restless night due to Mrs. Claus's snoring, Santa awakes on Christmas morning and stubs his toe. Then the elves shrink his suit, his sleigh gets buried in a snowdrift, and he gets stuck in a chimney. Santa’s had just about enough! But just in the nick of time, he discovers a very special gift of milk and cookies waiting for him. As he munches on the delicious snack, Santa's remembers what Christmas is all about—the gift of love—and, merrily, his grumpies melt away. Now available as a board book, this merrily irreverent Yuletide story, brought to life by Gregg and Evan Spiridellis, will tickle funny bones and touch hearts far and wide.

Undercover Santa

Undercover Santa PDF Author: Pixie Chica
Publisher: Pixie Chica
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 61

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Book Description
My name is Joe Claus, aka the new Santa Claus. On the eve I am to take over for my dad, my dear sister decides she’s going to do a disappearing act. Blamed for her leaving, I am sent down to Florida of all places. It’s hot, I’m pissed, and my Christmas spirit is quickly fading. Until my eyes fall on Crystal Sugarplum, the baking sweetheart who thinks Christmas is a conspiracy from the sales companies. Can I be the Undercover Santa I was sent to be? Or will I end up on the naughty list for wanting to spank one delectable non-believer? Either way this holiday season, Santa’s getting his hands on his own Christmas Gift.

Santa Claus Saves the World

Santa Claus Saves the World PDF Author: Robert Devereaux
Publisher: Deadite Press
ISBN: 9781621051305
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 176

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Book Description
It's that time of year again - when Santa Claus has to save the world! After conquering the homophobes, Santa Claus believes that humans can finally be nice instead of naughty. But dark forces from across history and mythology have other plans. One couple and their disintegrating marriage may just cause a chain reaction that will plunge the world into darkness and terror. So Santa and his pals begin an adventure from the North Pole to the Heaven and Hades to save the soul of humanity. Robert Devereaux returns once again to the Santa Mythos that made him an underground horror fan favorite. The sequel to "Santa Steps Out" and "Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes" combines pagan gods with holiday cheer and a large dose of sex and violence. "Santa Claus Saves the World" is a present for sickos of all-ages!

Santa's God

Santa's God PDF Author: Neale Donald Walsch
Publisher: Emnin Books
ISBN: 1571745963
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 33

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Book Description
"Santa certainly had some good answers, and Melinda was almost out of questions. But then she remembered the most important question of all. It was a question she'd always wanted answered. 'Santa, ' she began ... 'Who is the real God?'"--Page 4 of cover

The Santa Suit

The Santa Suit PDF Author: Mary Kay Andrews
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1250279321
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 147

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Book Description
From Mary Kay Andrews, the New York Times bestselling author of Hello, Summer, comes a novella celebrating the magic of Christmas and second chances in The Santa Suit. When newly-divorced Ivy Perkins buys an old farmhouse sight unseen, she is definitely looking for a change in her life. The Four Roses, as the farmhouse is called, is a labor of love—but Ivy didn't bargain on just how much labor. The previous family left so much furniture and so much junk, that it's a full-time job sorting through all of it. At the top of a closet, Ivy finds an old Santa suit—beautifully made and decades old. In the pocket of a suit she finds a note written in a childish hand: it's from a little girl who has one Christmas wish, and that is for her father to return home from the war. This discovery sets Ivy off on a mission. Who wrote the note? Did the man ever come home? What mysteries did the Rose family hold? Ivy's quest brings her into the community, at a time when all she wanted to do was be left alone and nurse her wounds. But the magic of Christmas makes miracles happen, and Ivy just might find more than she ever thought possible: a welcoming town, a family reunited, a mystery solved, and a second chance at love.

Kissing Santa Claus

Kissing Santa Claus PDF Author: Donna Kauffman
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 075826254X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 282

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Book Description
Three hottie humbugs find holiday magic where they least expect it. . . Donna Kauffman Lock, Stock and Jingle Bells Holly hates the yuletide season more than ever since she inherited her mother's Christmas novelty shop, but her childhood pal Sean's determined to warm her up--to Christmas and to him. When they uncover a diary concealing secrets involving both their families, this could be the Christmas that changes their lives forever. . . Jill Shalvis Bah Handsome! Behind on her bills, B&B owner Hope receives an unlikely guest--stranded solicitor Danny, who's been threatening to put her out of business. Hope's staff sees more fire than fight in the sparks that fly as they try and bring Hope and Danny together, but only a Christmas miracle can help these unlikely lovers see the light. . . Helenkay Dimon It's Hotter at Christmas Hawaii's no paradise for Marissa, who, thanks to a series of unfortunate events, can't seem to get away from the sand to enjoy her Christmas East Coast style--with plenty of snow and slush. But tall, dark, and serious police officer Ted's about to give this bad Santa in heels a Mele Kalikimaka she'll never forget. . .

Santa's Husband

Santa's Husband PDF Author: Daniel Kibblesmith
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062748750
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 62

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Book Description
Offering a fresh twist on Kris Kringle, a clever yet heartfelt book that tells the story of a black Santa, his white husband, and their life in the North Pole. Everyone knows that Santa Claus is jolly, but in Santa’s Husband, this cherished symbol of the holiday season is also black and gay, and married to an equally cheery man. In this witty and sweet illustrated Christmas tale, humor writer Daniel Kibblesmith introduces us to Mr. and Mr. Claus, and gives us a glimpse of their lives together. We see the Clauses sitting by the fire at their cozy North Pole home, vacationing at the beach, having an occasional disagreement, celebrating their wedding day, and comforting each other when some loudmouth people on television angrily dispute Santa’s appearance and lifestyle. In the weeks before Christmas, Santa’s husband helps with all the pre-Christmas work, from double-checking lists, to feeding the reindeer (organic gluten-free grains, of course), to negotiating labor disputes with the restive workshop elves. At the height of toy-making season, he even fills in for his busy hubby at the mall to ensure every child can meet the Big Guy in the red suit, and give him their wish list. As this charming book reminds us, Santa Claus can come in all shapes and colors and sizes—just like the children and families he visits all over the world each Christmas eve. Featuring beautiful watercolor pictures drawn by artist AP Quach, Santa’s Husband is a delightful gift for readers of all ages.