Santa Claus Heard a Fart

Santa Claus Heard a Fart PDF Author: Olaf Falafel
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
ISBN: 9780008357955
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description

Santa Claus Heard a Fart

Santa Claus Heard a Fart PDF Author: Olaf Falafel
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
ISBN: 9780008357955
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description


Father Christmas Heard a Fart

Father Christmas Heard a Fart PDF Author: Olaf Falafel
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
ISBN: 9780008339456
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description
The side-splitting festive follow-up to Old MacDonald Heard a Fart, from hilarious picture book superstar, Olaf Falafel. "Father Christmas heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" Father Christmas is getting ready to deliver the presents - but he keeps getting distracted by some VERY rude noises! Who keeps FARTING?! Could such a big noise actually be coming from someone rather small...' More windy fun is in store in this brilliant picture book by the sensational Olaf Falafel. Featuring helpful do-it-yourself instructions so you can fart along to your heart's content and drive your family nuts during the holidays, it's set to be the ultimate stocking filler for Christmas! Fans of The Dinosaur That Pooped series will love this tongue-in-cheek Christmas tale. Perfect for ages 4 and up.

When Santa Fell to Earth

When Santa Fell to Earth PDF Author: Cornelia Funke
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 054541511X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 182

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Book Description
A crash-landing puts Christmas in peril in this quirky, funny, and heartwarming holiday classic from the New York Times–bestselling author of Inkheart. Scared by a storm, Twinklestar, the least reliable reindeer, bolts—causing Santa and his sleigh to crash-land. And though Santa has dropped into a friendly neighborhood, he’s not safe: Jeremiah Goblynch, the ruthless new leader of the Council of Yuleland, is determined to put an end to children’s wishes and turn the holiday season into his own personal moneymaking scheme. As the last REAL St. Nick around, only Santa stands between Goblynch and his grinchlike plan. With the help and hope of kids Charlotte and Ben, Santa must face Goblynch and his Nutcracker goons to save Christmas! “Wonderfully imaginative details, adventure, danger, and a brave young Santa who fights to preserve all that is magical and special about Christmas make this a perfect read over a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night.” —School Library Journal “The humor, plus some unusual character types, sets this apart from the general run of holiday tales.” —Kirkus Reviews

Being Santa Claus

Being Santa Claus PDF Author: Sal Lizard
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101600527
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 170

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Book Description
A veteran Santa reveals heartwarming true stories and lessons from his twenty-year career spreading Christmas magic. With the holiday shopping season beginning earlier each year, more than ever. Americans are struggling to remember the true meaning of Christmas. And who better to deliver the gift of Christmas inspiration than a man who has spent the last two decades playing Santa? Sal Lizard was in his twenties when his beard and hair turned completely white. Today he appears everywhere from malls and parades to schools and hospitals. And— from his custom-made red velvet suits to the mistletoe that hangs from the rearview mirror in his Santa-mobile—he is Santa Claus three hundred and sixty-five days a year. In Being Santa Claus Sal reflects on his experiences with both children and adults including: Christmas magic is all around us: We don’t always see it, but it is there, shaping and enriching our lives. Sometimes you need to go that extra mile:Santa Claus is the one person who can’t even use a blizzard as an excuse not to honor his commitments, and Sal teaches adults the importance of always showing up for our children. Even a small child can make a big difference: Sal has met some impressive children over the years, and he’s learned that you don’t need to be a grown-up to make an impact on the world around you. In Being Santa Claus Sal shares these lessons, along with often heartwarming, occasionally heartbreaking, and sometimes downright hysterical stories from his twenty-year career as Santa.

Old MacDonald Heard a Fart

Old MacDonald Heard a Fart PDF Author: Derek Landy
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
ISBN: 9780008242794
Category : Children's stories
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description
"Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.

Fritz the Farting Reindeer

Fritz the Farting Reindeer PDF Author: Humor Heals Us
Publisher: Humor Heals Us
ISBN: 9781953399175
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 36

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Book Description
Leading up to the BIG day, Santa must choose his Christmas crew. Fritz the Reindeer is one of the contenders but he has a small problem: He has gas. Will Fritz make the team? Join Fritz in a new Christmas adventure that will be cherished for years to come. A children's beloved classic, this story will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter. Adults are permitted to laugh too. Vote on new title names and receive freebies at humorhealsus.com.

Ijamama Speaks: Wisdom of a Black Sistah from the Urban Hood

Ijamama Speaks: Wisdom of a Black Sistah from the Urban Hood PDF Author: Frederick Douglas Harper
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1524592560
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 322

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Book Description
Ijamama Speaks is a hilarious satire. Ijamama is a woman from the urban Hood who is accidentally discovered by a feminist magazine, Hot Heifer, after she stood up to a sexist law that allowed men to be topless in public but not women. A published interview of Ijamama in Hot Heifer magazine leads to her cohosting a feminist, late-night TV show, and eventually getting her own late-night TV show, The Ijamama Tell-It-Like-It-Is Midnight Show, targeted to urban blacks, college students, and working-class women. Although very funny, Ijamama Speaks presents meaningful lessons about rightful living and quality living through dialogues of host Ijamama with her diverse TV guests. Some of her guests include Celibate Dude, Lead Belly, Benevolent Angel, Smart-Ass White Boy, Dr. Fartenstein, PumpDaddy, Spiritual Teacher, Bootylicious Queens, Preacher-Teacher, Little Red Rapper from da Hood, and HoneyBaby.

Santa Claus

Santa Claus PDF Author: Todd Graham
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1532061056
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 424

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Book Description
Christmas has been under attack for years, thanks to the evil Ice Queen and her mother, Emma Frostbite, the Empress of the North. With the power of a troll army and Nutcracker war machine behind them, the Queen and her mother have now set their sights on the last remaining Christmas stronghold, the twin cities of Feliz and Navidad. Now that Christmas bells, songs, and the spirit have been taken away for good, this just may be the end of Christmas in the world. Sixteen-year-old orphan Nicholas Claus isn’t about to let this happen. Fueled by an indomitable Christmas spirit, Nicholas embarks on a quest to seek help from a mysterious woman called Christmas Carol, stop the Ice Queen, and hopefully restore Christmas to its ultimate glory. While following clues hidden in a special snow globe, he is joined by allies as they attempt to find Christmas Carol and battle forces bent on destroying the holiday. As Nicholas and his friends set out on a hero’s mission to Tannenbaum, Feliz, Navidad, and the North Pole, he has no idea that his journey is about to lead him to receive the best Christmas gift ever. Santa Claus: The First Noel continues the tale of a young man’s quest to save Christmas from the destructive claws of an evil Ice Queen and her frosty mother.

Caring Is Creepy

Caring Is Creepy PDF Author: David Zimmerman
Publisher: Soho Press
ISBN: 156947978X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 273

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Book Description
Fifteen-year-old Lynn Marie Sugrue is doing her best to make it through a difficult summer. Her mother works long hours as a nurse, and Lynn suspects that her mother’s pill-popping boyfriend has enlisted her in his petty criminal enterprises. Lynn finds refuge in online flirtations, eventually meeting up with a troubled young soldier, Logan Loy, and inviting him home. When he’s forced to stay over in a storage space accessible through her closet, and the Army subsequently lists him as AWOL, she realizes that he’s the one thing in her life that she can control. Meanwhile, her mother’s boyfriend is on the receiving end of a series of increasingly violent threats, which places Lynn squarely in the cross-hairs.

At The End of the Day I Burst Into Flames

At The End of the Day I Burst Into Flames PDF Author: Nicholas Day
Publisher: JournalStone
ISBN: 1947654802
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 77

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Book Description
These are his final moments. In the little city of Wood River, Illinois, a man nicknamed Firecracker knows the end is near. The fire is coming, just like it came for his father, his grandfather, and who knows how many men. After all, folks in those parts have a short-term memory when it comes to history, and lots of stories have a tendency to go to the grave. Maybe the fire was always there. Maybe it came along when the oil refinery went up in 1907. Who can say? Sometimes, a yarn like this is as close to a history book as a Midwest community and its people are apt to get. When it happened to his father, the doctors only called it an accident. But Firecracker's mother had a name for it: spontaneous combustion. Firecracker knows there is no way to escape this Act of God, so he retreats into his memories. Past and present become one and the same. The veil of reality pulls away and Death arrives in time for one last conversation, where Firecracker comes to terms with the mysteries of his own life, and realizes that some questions are not nearly as important as the moments which spawned them. From the first line of the tale that sees his eyes explode to--moments and pages later--his whole body being consumed by flame, Firecracker experiences his life and loves through a succession of memories, reveals his friendship with Death, and talks about the men in his family's unfortunate predisposition. This is a yarn about life and death and spontaneous human combustion. This is a tale of a man with a fire inside him. At the End of the Day I Burst into Flames is a horror story about how beautiful love can be.