Author: Editors of Readers Digest
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1621454827
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 266
Get Book Here
Book Description
The Editors of Reader’s Digest present a hilarious collection of dumb people doing dumb things. Every day in America we are bombarded by stupidity; sometimes we just shake our heads, but most of the time we get a good laugh out of the really dumb things people do and say. In this collection of dumb stories we poke a little fun at the unbelievably dumb things that happen in our lives and have a good chuckle along the way. You’re a dumb criminal if…you’re not picky about your office locations. Christopher Exley of Everett, Washington, was arrested for conducting a drug deal over the phone—in the bathroom of the Everett Police Department. During my brother-in-law’s first performance review, his boss said, “I’m not quite sure what it is you do here. But whatever it is, could you do it faster?” --Jeanie Waara, Philip, SD In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. “Can’t find Brillo pads,” she wrote. “All they have are Tampax and Kotex.” --Kimberly Clark, Alpharetta, GA I overheard an elderly gentleman tell his friend that he couldn’t meet him the next day because he had to go to the hospital for an autopsy. His friend was sympathetic: “I had one of those last year. Luckily it wasn’t serious.” --Tracy Moralee, Hitchin, Great Britain
Author: Editors of Readers Digest
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1621451496
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 214
Get Book Here
Book Description
The old adage truth is stranger than fiction can also be construed as truth is funnier than fiction and we see no shortage of real people doing and saying dumb things and making us laugh in the process. The Editors of Reader’s Digest present a hilarious collection of dumb people doing dumb things. Every day in America we are bombarded by stupidity; sometimes we just shake our heads, but most of the time we get a good laugh out of the really dumb things people do and say. In our first collection of dumb stories we poke a little fun at the unbelievably dumb things that happen in our lives and have a good chuckle along the way. “You’re a dumb criminal if…You’re not picky about your office locations. Christopher Exley of Everett, Washington, was arrested for conducting a drug deal over the phone—in the bathroom of the Everett Police Department.” “During my brother-in-law’s first performance review, his boss said, “I’m not quite sure what it is you do here. But whatever it is, could you do it faster?” --Jeanie Waara, Philip, SD “In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. “Can’t find Brillo pads,” she wrote. “All they have are Tampax and Kotex.” --Kimberly Clark, Alpharetta, GA “I overheard an elderly gentleman tell his friend that he couldn’t meet him the next day because he had to go to the hospital for an autopsy. His friend was sympathetic: “I had one of those last year. Luckily it wasn’t serious.” --Tracy Moralee, Hitchin, Great Britain
Author: Reader's Digest
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1621455971
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 328
Get Book Here
Book Description
A hilarious collection of the funniest family-friendly jokes, quotes, stories, cartoons, and anecdotes from the past 100 years of Reader’s Digest magazine. A little chuckle every day will keep the doctor away. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring you Laughter Is the Best Medicine, All-Time Favorites, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine. If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? –Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Keep your temper. Nobody wants it. –Dearborn Independent Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth intact. They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains of the very first hockey player. –Jay Leno This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with cartoons, quotes, quips, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction.
Author: Reader's Digest
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1621455092
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 93
Get Book Here
Book Description
Loaded with knock knock jokes, riddles, one liners, tongue twisters and puns, Fun Jokes for Funny Kids Vol. 3 will give kids hours of new material. They will keep their friends and family rolling in laughter. Perfect for kids 6-12. Knock knock jokes, riddles, tongue twisters, one liners and puns gauranteed to make your kids -and you- laugh out loud. Icon's for Alexa's Favorites denote her hand picked, favorite jokes. Alexa, a real life 4th grader from new York who loves telling jokes, is our resident guest editor!
Author: Editors at Reader's Digest
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1621451909
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 262
Get Book Here
Book Description
In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. "Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over." Reader's Digest has a long tradition of providing our readers with laughter through our many humor features. In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. We hope you and your family will take the time to read, share and laugh together. Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world.
Author: Lisa Beth Johnson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1645171884
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 196
Get Book Here
Book Description
The authors of Okay, Boomer deliver much-needed one-liners, puns, lists, and real-life tweets to lighten the load—and life—of moms everywhere. Moms need their laughs just as much as anyone, especially when they have to relieve the stress of cranky kids, oblivious spouses, and the challenges of balancing work and family while keeping it all together—at least on the surface! Mom Jokes is a collection of more than 300 snarky, sassy, and witty jokes for moms, such as . . . Every Mother’s Day my children make me breakfast in bed. Good thing I taught them how to make bottomless mimosas. What’s the difference between me when I’m nine months pregnant and a supermodel? Nothing, because my husband values his life. The good thing about going back to work after having kids is that you have your mom boss voice perfected. I thought my seven-year-old was mature enough to feed our goldfish—and he is—he just isn’t mature enough to know they don’t eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. From family life and the daily grind to food and entertainment, this collection of jokes nails the ups and downs of motherhood, giving moms light-hearted moments to get through the heavy lifting.
Author: Clint Edwards
Publisher: Page Street Publishing
ISBN: 164567147X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 205
Get Book Here
Book Description
Father·ish: adjective. When a man is trying his best. Clint Edwards equates fatherhood to the time he did an important live TV interview from home: To the viewers, he looked put-together in a nice button-up shirt . . . but below the camera he wasn’t wearing any pants. And it may have looked like he was in a nice office, but he was in fact hidden in his bedroom closet because his whole house was too messy to show. This highly relatable collection gets to the heart of parenting: all those unexpected fails, awkward conversations, and well-intentioned little white lies. Clint chronicles all these things and more with stories like “The Time My Son Realized I Was Santa,” “I’ve Never Been to Hell, but I Have Been to a Little Girl’s Birthday Party,” and “How to Get the Sex Talk Very, Very Wrong.” And with each story you’ll see over and over again that there really aren’t any rules when it comes to parenting, and all you can do is try your best. Whether you’re a first-time parent unaware of what you’ve gotten yourself into yet, or a father of five, clinging to your last ounce of sanity, you’ll find relief in knowing that at end of the day, we’re all not wearing any pants.
Author: Editors of Reader's Digest
Publisher: Reader's Digest
ISBN: 9781621451617
Category : Literary Collections
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Get Book Here
Book Description
Alive! is a heart-stopping collection of survival stories from the archives of Reader’s Digest’s ‘Drama in Real Life’ series. Readers will be on the edge of their seats as they are drawn into the dramatic tales of everyday people suddenly cast into life or death situations. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring readers Alive! Extraordinary Stories of Ordinary People Who Survived Deadly Tornadoes, Avalanches, Shipwrecks and More. In “Super Storm,” Rick Gregory, an off-duty patrolman watches an F3 tornado ravage his small Tennessee town where split-second decisions make the difference between life and death. In “Avalanche!” Luke Edgar, a young father and backcountry snowboarder goes out with a buddy for a fun day on Mt. Rainier and gets buried alive in an avalanche. “Swarm,” tells the story of the Walker family, out for a day trip in the Florida marsh when they get entangled in a yellow-jacket nest. The mother, Debbie, fighting anaphylactic shock must leave her injured husband and children in order to find help as time runs out. Adventure writer Tim Cahill recounts how he barely survives the extreme heat of Death Valley despite his experience as an outdoorsman in “Across the Valley of Fire”; and in “Pacific Cyclone,” Tony Farrington tells the harrowing story of the crews of three sailboats who run into an unimaginable storm in the normally calm South Pacific. Whether out on a planned adventure or simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, the heroes of these stories are connected by their fierce desire to survive against all odds. Wildfires, blizzards, attacks by grizzlies, jet crashes in the jungle, are just some of the conditions people face in these stories of survival. Readers will be on the edge of their seats as they follow adventurers and laymen alike as they face down nature’s fury in the most extreme circumstances, and find strength they didn’t know they had, proving the depth and resilience of the human spirit. As Tim Cahill so elegantly puts it, “Then I knew, really knew, that there is a way to get from one extreme to the other, the peaks and valleys. And there is a beauty so fierce only savage emotions like fear and triumph allow us to see it.”
Author: Brian A Klems
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1440545464
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 224
Get Book Here
Book Description
Rules for Raising Little Girls "As the father of a daughter, I wish I'd read this very funny book sooner, if only to know that it's OK for a grown man to wear a tutu." - Dave Barry "Required reading for any parent who doesn't know pants from leggings." - Dan Zevin, author of Dan Gets a Minivan: Life at the Intersection of Dude and Dad It's easy to imagine how you'd raise a boy--all the golf outings, lawnmower lessons, and Little League championships you'd attend--but playing dad to a little princess may take some education. In Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl, Brian, a father of three girls, shares his tactics for surviving this new and glittery world. From baby dolls and bedtime rituals to potty training and dance recitals, he leads you through all the trials and tribulations you'll face as you're raising your daughter. He'll also show you how to navigate your way through tough situations, like making sure that she doesn't start dating until she's fifty. Complete with commandments for restroom trips and properly participating in a tea party, Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl will brace you for all those hours playing house--and psych you up for the awesomeness of raising a daughter who has you lovingly wrapped around her little finger. "Somehow, Brian Klems has taken one of the most traumatic situations known to a father--having a daughter--and made it into something so completely hilarious you'll laugh until you've got oxygen deprivation!" - W. Bruce Cameron, author of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter
Author: Susan J. Wernert
Publisher: Readers Digest
ISBN: 9780762100200
Category : Nature
Languages : en
Pages : 584
Get Book Here
Book Description
Identifies and describes many varieties of mammals, birds, reptiles, fish, trees, and wildflowers found in North America.
